|Alysanne Valentine
Those grimy hands slids up my dress. I didn't want to wear it, they forced me to wear it. Only I realised it didn't matter what I wore, they all saw me as a toy and I felt so humiliated each time. I hate myself. That's my life and I hate the men who come here, they are evil.
They always call me Sweet Alysanne or Daddy's girl and it makes me want to vomit, I feel gross and I know that I am. I am damaged goods, no one will ever want me if they knew. No one will love me and I don't even love myself.
"Don't worry, sweetie. You have done this enough times that it won't hurt anymore." he whispered with a cruel smile on his lips.
The tears automatically started falling onto my cheeks. My heart is in pain, filled with terror even though I know what is coming.
"That's a good girl, you know how much I love it when you cry."
His hands lifted the dress off of me and I couldn't do anything but cry and lay there.
"Now, let's have some fun."
Jolting awake from the horrific nightmare. The past is a repulsive place I despise visiting but that doesn't stop them from forcing me to revisit every vile moment. My tank top is soaked in my sweat and fear, adrenaline consuming my stream that I could hear the vivid thumping of my terrified heart. It's ridiculous, years have passed and yet I still endure the same agonising torture of my past. There isn't a way in hell I would go back to sleep after that, it opened a vortex for my monsters to revisit; all different faces but the same evil creatures.
I laid in the bed, pondering over the events that took place prior. The sunlight started to peak through the metallic curtains and the clock on the bedside revealed that it is indeed seven am.
My uncle keeps Azarov and I up-to-date with the bounty placed on him but lately its been quite. Doesn't mean they took him off the list; just entails that they are planning something drastie and we need to prepare for that otherwise they will kill Azarov.
And I will never let that happen.
The past makes me hot-blooded, sheer
thoughts makes me aggravated. It's bitter-hatred on another level that made my body ltch with a need to devour, I desire when they beg to come out to play because that seal breaks within me, my head and soul completely drowning in the pain. The only advantage I have is being able to suppress those demons, I don't like dealing with the torture of forgiveness.
Therefore, I developed the unhealthy coping mechanism of pushing all unwanted emotions deep down into the pits of my own personal hell. I developed a lot of unhealthy coping mechanism; sex being the most prominent ones. However, the last person to ever touch me intimately was Rio a couple years ago and it only ever worked out in my favour because he didn't mind giving me control. We didn't harbour any affection past friendship and it was an arrangement of convenience.
I can't do relationships, never have. I can't give myself to someone wholeheartedly, I refuse to be vulnerable. That's one thing I can't relinquish; control.
But when it comes to Azarov. There is more than apprehension when it comes to him, I crave for him and its terrifying because he deserves someone who isn't afrald to commit, who can relinquish her control without a fight.
~~~
Everyone is completely absorbed in ther minds today, barely any room for communication since they all disappeared Ilke magicians. I haven't seen anyone, the house is completely bathed in silence that my boots hitting the tiles echo. Events that transpired have certainly placed Isadora and Diavolo on alert and I haven't encountered Azarov yet. I wouldn't place enough emphasis on seeing him anytime soon since he tends to overanalyse every situation.
His mind is magnificent, nothing will ever pull him out of that vortex. The last time I didn't get the opportunity to admire the beautiful forest unfolding outside his mansion. It's peaceful and earthy, the sound of leafs rattling brings a sense of calmness.
The heavy scent of rain overwhelming me, its delicious and reminds me of Azarov. The stress that rattles my bones slowly melt away and for once I forget myself. However, the once blissful house has now turned into a tremor of hatred and vengeance since Sinnius arrived.
Both brothers emit sinister intentions and the reason remains unknown. Azarov never mentioned his past nor did he have intentions to do so. The biggest secret that remains is about Corvina's mother. It's rather daunting since he refuses to even shed a fraction of a memory. There is something evil hanging over it and that's why he chooses to not share it.
When we first met, the golden band on his left hand became an eyesore accompanied with a throbbing sensation spreading all over my heart. Since we returned to his home prior, it gradually started to disappear all together. The urge to dig into his past has never been intense since mines isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows.
It's unbearble to even decipher what his thoughts would be it he ever knew my past. Azarov wouldn't be able to look at without nausea consuming his body. Azarov has kept his past locked away but the arrival of his brother has opened Pandora's box.
"Aren't you beautiful when you are getting lost in your mind?" His thickly laced voice complimented.
His voice is similar to Azarov's and clearly by the smile plastered on his cherry pillowed lips, he appreciates the attention as he walks closer to my side. The dark slacks cling onto his thick thighs, along with the midnight blue formal shirt moulding against his sculptured body. Buttons were undone, revealing the porcelain skin accompanied with dark ink. His hickory waves are dishevelled upon his forehead, falling upon his magnetic chocolate orbs–framing his enchanting aura.
"Pretty words will get you nowhere." I respond, putting distance between us.
He plastered his charming smile. "I wasn't trying to. I'm just paying you a compliment." Sinnius pulled out a pack of cigarettes, slipping one out of the box and in-between his lips. He easily lit the end, inhaling deeply the temporary euphoria it entails before releasing through his nose. Everything seems to focus around the exhale of the nicotine as I breath in the second hand smoke.
"I don't need compliments, least of all from you."
Sinnius redirected his attention towards me, the cigarette hanging loosely between his lips but the grin he displays could never be hidden. Those caramel orbs are deceptive and mischievous. "Now, I think this is unfair."
Crossing my arms as I levelled with him, awaiting a response at his ridiculous words. "You are placing judgement on me purely based on the reactions of my brother and cousin."
The egotism radiates from his entire demeanour and oozes off his lips. "I know them longer than I know you. I trust their judgement and they do not trust you, neither do I."
My words apparently intrigued him since his smile deepened.
"Your loyalty is admirable."
"Really? You seem unfamiliar with the concept."
Nothing phases him since he chuckled with his signature smirk playing on his lips and he slipped the cigarette between his index and thumb, inhaling the delicious poison and exhaling upwards into the air.
"You aren't like her." He declared.
Scrunching my brows in confusion, "Like who?'
"His wife."
The long-time elephant in the room, Azarov never brings her up and frankly I am fearful of what I will find if I dig into his past. Maybe I want to avold it completely because I don't want to live up to the same expectations of her, surely the love was everlasting. Enough for him to wear his ring without her in the picture and I cannot help but feel nausea at the mere thought.
My silence is a dead giveaway, "I assume he doesn't talk about her. He's like that, he doesn't talk about his feelings and keeps everything to himself." Sinnius explains.
"You haven't seen him in along time, how would you know what he is like?" I defended with a scowl.
Sinnius walks over towards me, the toke of his cigarette consuming my senses. The faint hint of mint mixed with the sharpness of nicotine, I didn't like his means of intimidation because I'm the wrong person to try that trick with.
"He is my brother after all." He whispered with the addition of a devilish smirk.
"Your words doesn't matter to me, so stop even bother trying."
Sinnius is exercising my level of control, the warmth and fire radiating from him and into me. It's seeping into my pores and he notices.
"He loved her more than anything in the entire world." It stung but I recovered, however anything pertaining to Azarov always cracks deeper into my heart.
I wasn't supposed to feel this way, not ever in this lifetime.
Stretching out his hand to trace my cheek, instantly I gripped his wrist to halt his movements. "Don't even try it." I gritted.
"Do you think he would ever love you that
much?" he tainted. His words petrify me because it's the truth.
Could he ever love me in general?
His heart is reserved for Corvina's mother and I knew if she was still around he wouldn't even bother with me.
"You don't know do you? He can never love anyone the way he loved her again." Sinnius gloated, relishing in the way his words bring a stabbing sensation to my heart.
"What are you gaining from this?" I seethe.
Once again he shrugged, "Nothing. I just want you to see that it's never going to happen." Sinnius clarifies.
"Regardless, it isn't any of your business." I snapped.
Sinnius for once turned serlous, his expression matching his words. "Wrong, sweetheart. I don't want to see your heart get broken."
He couldn't fool me. "Why is that?"
"Because I can tell you suffered enough in the past."
I'm enraged that he could easily see through me. I don't let anyone see into me but he instantly recognized it. With the silence and scowl on my face, he got his answer pretty easily.
"Don't worry, I'll keep your suffering a secret from him." Following his movements, he walked towards me.
"Like I said, it's none of your business."
Sinnius smiled at me and whispered, "Your golden curls leak sunshine into my cold, dark world." He sighed; "I'm not as bad as everybody says I am, you know?"
His smile was sincere.
Looking at the house, I didn't expect to see him standing against the door. "Oh! Come on Azi, don't get mad now. We were just talking."
|Azarov Iatova|
He is under my roof, this house was never his to claim. He made that perfectly clear years ago but suddenly he pops up claiming haif is his. Sinnius never crossed my mind, he wasn't ever a thought. Ranking low on the lists of my priorities. He never behaved like an older brother therefore I didn't care as the youngest. The past is crystal clear, we never associated with each other and truth-be-told our father loved that. The separation that grew between his sons only brought satisfaction to his twisted mind, he craved for us to tear each other apart. Feed into his sinister game of who is the strongest Iatova.
By his expensive suit and immaculate exterior, groomed from head to toe with pristine class, it's evident that Sinnius is wealthy beyond average. One thing remains is that he would never fall into the legal side because Sinnius doesn't like playing by the rules of others. He makes the rules, he breaks the rules and he doesn't care who he destroys in the process. Sinnius is manoeuvring his way into my life, he wants something from me therefore he is trying to play his cards right.
The last time I ever saw him was during my wedding, he made it perfectly clear that we weren't brothers anymore and that he despised me, pure hatred ablaze in his eyes. Sinnius never revealed the reason, he doesn't share anything and sadly we both inherited that trait from our father. He moulded our DNA into not letting fickle emotions taint us but I strayed away and fell in love.
I faced the consequences, learning first hand what it does to your heart. He wants Alysanne, when he locked his plercing gaze with hers. I knew that he wouldn't stop until she became his. The revelation brought a tight sensation in my chest, suffocating my lungs and making it difficult to breath. Without even a word she easily captured his attention, her magical orbs of compassion, fire and power. They are enthralling along with her heart that is filled with immense love.
I recognize it, I see it every time she is around Corvina. It's memorizing and angelic, she truly is an angel of otherworldly beauty. A true goddess that I didn't deserve to know. I shouldn't be surprised that Sinnius desires her but what's agonizing is that she could fall for him and the mere thought brings an entirely new sensation of throbbing all over my physical scars, it's torture and grief rolled into one.
Sinnius always gets what he wants; one way or another. He plays dirty, regardless of the consequences or who he tramples in the process. Anything goes with him and eventually he will ensure that I am demolished into nothing but ash. The hatred is thick, hovering over us like a dark cloud. An older brother is supposed to protect you however it was a joke to him. After it became obvious that he despised me, I disregarded any attempt to acknowledge him.
Strangers under one roof for many years and suddenly he pops up claiming to play uncle. There is no way I sill ever let him anywhere near my princess, the only uncles she needs are ones she has now, the ones who will protect her till there last breath. Sinnius and I might be related by blood but we most certainly aren't family. Even as my mind spirals into an abyss, the echoing silence only fuels my internal destruction. The sunlight slowly descends upon my body through the windows, what should have been a peaceful morning turned into a hellish nightmare.
I would give anything to turn the clock and have Alysanne all to myself. It seems that Sinnius is already laying out the groundwork to sway her over, his charm and flirtatious behaviour is far more appealing than my stone-cold one. I can't be carefree or even express myself, the responsibilities have fallen on my shoulders from a young age and I never could shake them off. It's a vortex that sucks me in and drains me day-by-day.
Alysanne deserves someone who can give her affection and love, guaranteed that person isn't Sinnius. It is a step up from someone who cant open there emotions towards another.
The past has done a number on me, severing any sort of intimacy and plaguing me with a lifetime of torment. They were conversing and it brought a twinge of pain in my chest because they fit together, his smile is widening as she entertains his antics. I desperately wanted her to ignore him completely but somehow he is able to break her barriers and plant the seed that will soon grow.
Sinnius bid her farewell but the smug expression on his face only further clarifies that he knew I was watching. Alysanne didn't harbour the same reaction, instead she appeared guilty.
"Oh! Come on Azi, don't get mad now. We were just talking." He mocked.
Pushing my hand into his chest, halting his further movements. That victories grin intensifies at my actions, squaring his shoulders to challenge the power we both radiate in our stances.
"Stay away from her." I warn.
"Afraid of history repeating itself? Because let me tell you, the outcome will be very different this time." He smirked, knocking my shoulder with his as he left with a his boisterous laughter echoing throughout the house.
"Azarov." Alysanne called, walking closer towards me.
Fuck, she's perfect.
I forget myself whenever my eyes connect with hers, those bewitching honey dipped into gold liquid. Those decadent silvery waves are descending down her back, the jet-black high waisted jeans stops below her dangling crystal belly ring. I never found them attractive until I saw her with it and I felt myself longing for her delicate skin. The inky crop top with a green dragon curling in the middle of her perky breasts, concealed by the midnight biker jacket.
I felt the hunger within me intensify at the mere thought of touching her.
"'It's not what you think..." Alysanne defends, drawing me out of those inappropriate thoughts that manifest in her presence.
All the voices in my head is begging me to give her up, it could only lead to more misery. Those delicate soft lips are pillows of heaven and I can't even remember my own name.
Closing the distance between us, allowing her to peer at me in surprise as I trace the delicate parts of her rosy cheeks. My thumb slowly runs down to caress those cherry, silky pillowed lips that breathlessly part. It's hunger and desire wrapped into one, I burn with need to devour them. Leaving them bruised and marked by me, permanently.
"You're so beautiful. He's going to take you away from me and I don't think I can survive that." I whisper, hovering over her lips and inhaling her sweet sugary scent.
The passion is reciprocated in her eyes, in the way her breathing deepens and the fire erupting between us, It's raw and feverish, I want her more than the air I breathe.
"You're an angel, I am the devil. It can only end in destruction." I gasp, relishing in the forbidden desire.
"It's the opposite, you're pure." Alysanne replies, licking her lips which made my body electrify and run straight to my dick.
"You couldn't be more wrong. He won't ever have you because I won't let him take my sweet angel away from me." I declare, directing my lips towards her forehead and escaping before I perform every unholy thing in the Bible on her, right the fuck now.
~~~
Hiding out in my office isn't mature but it's the safest option. Diavolo didn't even bother to knock, instead bombarding his way through my door. Those daredevil sapphires were pure stones of treasure were tired, gathering by his stiff body. Diavolo didn't get much sleep. He is the only person who knows the depths of my past and without a doubt also pieced together that Sinnius is here for something.
A yawn escaped his mouth as he scratched his beard and plopped onto the chair opposite me.
"In twenty-four hours, our lives have taken a 180 for the fucking worst." Diavolo attempts to ease his stress by massaging his temples.
"I gather you didn't get any sleep."
"Isadora kicked me out after Sinnius so graciously threw our pasts into her face." he growled in annoyance.
"I'm surprised she didn't kill you in your sleep."
Diavolo lifted his neck to show a small cut, "She tried but I know to sleep with one eye open especially when she's that pissed at me. She curses at me in Italian and Russian, and it scares the shit out of me!"
One thing is perfectly clear, he didn't come in here to showcase Isadora latest death threat.
"She's definitely your match. So, How are you going to handle this?" he questioned.
"I don't know. He isn't making his intentions known, the question is what could he possibly want or gain returning here." Drumming my fingers against the table.
Diavolo didn't waste any time diving into topics I rather not discuss. "We know one thing he might want."
"Alysanne," I sighed in frustration.
"He always wanted what you had." Diavolo reminded.
Running my finger through my hair for the millionth time, it's a never ending cycle and Sinnius is making me run in circles.
"She's not mine," I lied because the truth is;
Alysanne is mine whether she knows it or not.
"Not yet anyway." Diavolo added.
"Sinnius is doing what he does best. He's fucking with your head without even laying a finger on you. This isn't like when you were guys kids, this time it's your future he is fucking with."
"You control it, not him."
"What if she falls for him?" I warily ask.
"The only person that can stop it, is you."
Easier said than done.
"I can't do that, you know it better than anyone else." I stress.
"I know, but you need to decide what is more important; your fear or your feelings for Alysanne?"
Which one is it?
• • •
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