Rain stood in front of the house. The wind was blowing in gentle gushes, as if caressing his cheeks. The leaves on the trees and the sound they were making from the wind were like welcoming whispers in his ears.
He closed his eyes. Just listening to every minute sound surrounding him. Just soaking the feel of the golden setting sun, so gentle and warm on his face.
"...?"
Rain opened his eyes and turned to his mother who was holding his hand.
"The stream..." Rain whispered. "I can hear the water from the stream... but it's broken..."
His mother smiled at him, gently patting his cheek before looking back at the still closed gates before them.
Rain wondered what his mom was seeing. Was the house as pretty in his mom's eyes as it was in his?
"Well, Payu fixed it..."
Rain quickly pulled his hand out of his mom's hold, pushed open the gate and ran towards the main entrance of the house.
He could hear his mother shouting for him to slow down and be careful. But all he could focus on was the way he could feel the pebbles even past the soles of his sneakers. The sound the rocks made as his weight made them shift underneath his feet.
He pressed the pin on the door pad and kicked his shoes off as he ran to the hallway leading to the house's garden. Slowing down finally, he tried to first catch his breath.
With small steps, he moved forward, pausing first by the sliding doors, gently peeking through the white curtains.
"..."
He released the door's latch and stood under the porch. The stream's surface was moving.
The fishes animatedly swam towards Rain's direction as if asking where he had been.
The colorful pinwheels on the side were circling in tune with the wind. Some of those that were stuck before were also answering to the wind's current.
"..."
Rain pressed some of the buttons on the wall and the garden lit up with the random colored light bulbs scattered around the garden. The colors weren't as clear as the setting sun was still bright. But Rain could see. He could confirm. Every single one of them was working, bright, and strong.
"..."
Rain slowly moved down the porch, barefoot on the smooth pebbles that surrounded the stream which circled the back garden.
There were barely any dried leaves around. The swing that had a tinge of yellow and dirt from before was a pristine white. So in contrast with the deep brown of the tree trunk and the green leaves. The bushes on the side and all the plants were neatly kept.
Everything-- the stream, the plants, some of the dead fairy lights around the trees, the small trinkets Rain had placed on the huge boulders on the side of the waters-- every single thing in the garden was alive again.
Rain held on to the chain and slowly sat on the swing, just watching the stream and how the same yet different the garden was.
It was as though he was seeing everything for the first time again.
"..."
After some time, Rain's mom appeared in the porch, a gentle look on her face.
"Instead of resting when we were taking turns at the hospital, Payu was actually here," she said with a shake of her head. "You can see what he'd been up to all this time."
"..."
His mom watched the stream for a few seconds more before bringing her attention back to Rain.
"Don't stay out here for long. It's getting a bit chilly. We don't want you catching a cold, okay?"
Rain nodded and watched his mom slowly disappear into the doors.
"..."
He stared for long at the gentle stream in front of him. The surface was calm, clear. So different from the dam inside his chest on the verge of collapsing, holding all the emotions inside him.
He was overwhelmed. Overjoyed. Engulfed in a whirlwind of feelings that he almost had forgotten.
"..."
He pulled his phone out of his track pants, swiping blindly to the one name he knew by heart.
It only took one ring.
"Hello, Rain?"
The sound of the voice against Rain's ear sent a sweet current to his spine. It was warm, much warmer than the setting sun on his skin. It warmed his soul as he listened to the voice he knew so well.
"You were looking after me every night," Rain began. "And in the mornings, you weren't sleeping all that much. Tinkering all over the house's garden... what were you thinking?"
There was a soft chuckle in the other line followed by a sigh.
"I can't sleep all that much. I figured... I can just do something for you while you were asleep..."
"Still..."
"Don't worry about me. I took breaks when I needed to. I'm good."
Rain looked around the garden and gently rocked the swing he was sitting on.
"Is this a gift for me?" Rain asked, warmth in his chest spreading like wildfire.
"In a way... yes."
"You shouldn't have," Rain whispered. "But thank you. Everything is so... different... new."
"..."
"Maybe because it had the Genius Payu's touch?" Rain kidded although his voice very obviously broke in between.
"It's nothing," Payu replied softly, caringly. "I intend to do lots and lots of things for you, Rain. You cannot stop me even if you try."
Rain smiled, looking up at the tree, towards the skies through the gaps of the leaves and branches.
"Thank you, Phi. Thank you for fixing everything that's not working in the garden."
"I wish I could see your face when you first saw the garden though," Payu said with a hint of impatience in his voice. "But here I am stuck with the lawyers."
They let the sound of the stream fill in the short silence between them. Rain could hear a faint man's voice in the background, a woman's the next. He could even hear Saifa's voice somewhere in the muted conversation that Payu had excused himself from obviously to answer Rain's call.
Although he was not involved with the proceedings regarding Ple, Rain knew it was complicated. When Payu told him of what happened, of how Ple seemed guilty as she was ushered away, Rain didn't feel anything.
Any trace or ounce, or even a remnant of the friendship he shared with her had completely burned away. She was farther than a stranger.
"Sorry for calling at such a busy time," Rain said softly.
"You can call me in the middle of a hurricane and I'll do everything to answer you, silly."
Rain smiled. He could see too the smile on Payu's lips just from the timber of the man's voice through the other line.
Rain kicked a stone and watched it roll a few yards away. After a while, he gripped his phone tighter.
"Phi... when are you coming home?"
"..."
This was Rain's first time back at the house.
After Rain was discharged a week and a half ago, Rain and his mom had been staying with Prapai and Sky in their apartment.
From morning till early afternoon, Payu would stay with Rain, looking after him, cuddling Rain during naps, feed him during meal time.
However, Payu never stayed a night there. He always left Prapai and Sky's apartment in the early afternoons or the evenings.
Rain knew Payu was busy with a lot of things. But he also wanted to live again in the house meant for the two of them once again.
Rain wanted to be able to live again with Payu. Just like before. Just like the old times. Just them. Payu and him.
"When are we going to live together again?" Rain asked quietly.
"..."
"You fixed all these," Rain nodded at the stream, swept his gaze towards the random colored light bulbs that were slowly becoming prominent due to the darkening skies. "Everything's pretty. But we haven't talked yet about it."
"..."
"You'll just visit me here like you did at Sky's place, won't you?"
"..."
"I don't want you as a visitor anymore, Phi," Rain said with a sigh.
Payu was silent for a long while. When the man spoke, his voice was soft, patient.
"I want to live with you," Payu replied. "Believe me I do."
"..."
"I want to wake up and see you first thing in the morning."
"..."
"I want to fall asleep with you beside me."
"..."
"I want to live with you again. So bad..."
"Then come back," Rain said.
"..."
"You can go back anytime. If you want you can go back now-- even later after your meeting there."
"..."
"This is your house after all. I used your money for this. That stupid will you made."
Payu chuckled a little. "You're still holding a grudge over the will?"
"What do you think?" Rain grumbled.
Payu chuckled. It was annoying how beautiful it sounded in Rain's ears he scowled even more.
"Still," Payu answered. "I am glad I did that. I was able to help you live comfortably while I was gone even though I knew you're capable of supporting yourself."
"I hate it," Rain uttered under his breath. "It's like a love letter from the afterlife. I hated it."
"Rain..."
"So live with me again. Let's live together again, Phi."
"Rain, it's not a matter of whose money was used to build the house. It's ours. Not just mine."
"Then go home."
"Not yet, Rain."
"... but why?"
"... I want to make things right," Payu explained. "Do things right."
"..."
"Just a little bit, Rainy."
"..."
"Trust me for now, please?"
"You always make me wait," Rain said with a whine. Although he totally understood that Payu also still had some things he needed to take care of personally.
"Don't sulk there na? I'll drop by there later and we'll see each other the next day. I'll come to pick you up. We'll be together plenty of time."
"..."
"You trust me, right?"
"I do. I trust you," Rain mumbled, because he really did. Although he didn't hide how dejected he was.
"Just a little bit, na?" Payu pleaded.
There was a childish whine in Payu's tone that the man seldom really did. The contrast of such a brooding serious man, making baby noises to him made Rain smile. Why was he such a sap?
"Okay..." Rain said with a soft laugh. "Okay. I'll wait just a little bit more because you said so."
"This is the last time ever that you'll wait for me... I swear."
Even though they see each other all the time since waking up from coma, living together was entirely different.
The bond of being together under the same roof. The experience of sharing even the most mundane things, was something Rain really missed so much.
But contrary to the 'wait' he used to do, this time there was no fear in it. He wasn't waiting in uncertainty. He wasn't waiting with desperation. He wasn't waiting in fear.
Rain released a sigh, his eyes fixed at how the sun rays hugged the entire house like a kiss of temporary goodbye for the night. It was beautiful. More so when they finally start living here together again.
"I believe you, Phi," he said, an appeased, contented smile on his face. "I'll wait..."
This time, he was waiting with hope. He was waiting with excitement. He was waiting with confidence.
Confidence that everything will fall in its proper place one by one.
Slowly-- surely-- this dream house in front of him will finally be a dream home.
--------------------------------------
It was past noon the next day. Payu glanced at his reflection through the rearview mirror. Satisfied with the navy long sleeved top he was wearing, he paid one last glance at his face and his tied up hair and blew a breath.
He stepped out of his old black car, shining in the midnoon sun. He then stood by the passenger door in haste.
He was well aware of Rain's footsteps, the man's movements being given away by the sound of the stones and rocks underneath the man's shoes behind the gates in front of him.
It didn't take long when the small closed entrance beside the gate opened.
"...?"
Instantly, Payu's jaw was on the ground.
Rain pulled the gate close behind him and looked at Payu as if there was nothing so different on him.
"Huh?" Rain began, leaning down to see inside the car. "Where's P'Saifa?"
Payu couldn't take his eyes off Rain. Honestly, he didn't even want to. This man in front of him was practically glowing, so bright and just breathtaking.
Payu just stood there dumbfounded, taking in how Rain's blonde hair was glowing under the sun's rays. How it contrasted the green shirt Rain was wearing. How everything seemed to have disappeared around him. And how Rain was the only thing Payu could focus on and rightfully so.
"Stop staring," Rain mumbled, a hand tucking his golden strands of hair behind his ear. "I feel conscious. Don't gawk."
"What are you talking about?" Payu said, stepping closer to Rain and pulling Rain's hand down just to let Rain's hair strands flow with the breeze. "It suits you."
Rain pursed his lips and looked away. After a few beats, he peeked at Payu again, a shy smile on his lips.
"Does it really?"
"Yes," Payu said in a heartbeat. "You look amazing. When did you have your hair colored? It wasn't like that last night."
Rain grinned. "Just this morning."
Gently pinching Rain's cheek with his right hand, Payu smiled. "And here I was wanting to surprise you. But you beat me to it."
"What do you mean?"
Payu led Rain towards the passenger side of the car, his hand at the small of Rain's back. He then opened the door for Rain, making sure Rain wouldn't hit his head as he got in.
When Rain was inside the car, safe with his seatbelt on, Payu ran to the other side, opening the driver's door.
"I don't see P'Saifa..." Rain stated, confused.
Payu was expecting this as Saifa was always the one to drive them around the past few days. If not Saifa, it was Sky or Prapai taking them wherever they needed to be.
"Where did he go?" Rain asked again.
Payu smirked and slid into the driver's seat.
He could imagine the cogs inside Rain's pretty little head whirring around and couldn't help but smile.
"I'm grateful for my brother driving us around but I'm getting sick of him," Payu kidded. "I dropped him somewhere."
"You dropped... him... somewhere..."
Rain was frowning for a long time. But the light that swept over his face when he finally managed to put the pieces together made Payu smile wider.
"Your surprise..." Rain uttered under his breath. "You passed your driver's license renewal...?"
"Bingo," Payu grinned, putting his own seatbelt on. "I can finally drive for you... wherever, whenever..."
"..."
"Just the two of us."
"Congratulations Phi!" Rain exclaimed, the genuine joy on Rain's face enough to tug at Payu's chest. "I'm really happy for you."
"Thank you," Payu smiled, basking in the happiness and pride he could see in Rain's eyes for him.
Rain reached for Payu's hand, squeezing it tight. Payu held Rain's hand tighter, releasing a sigh of relief from being separated from Rain every night the past days.
As they held hands inside the car, Payu's eyes moved back to the house.
The house that he didn't appreciate all that much after coming back from the mountains.
To him, that time, this house was just a house. He didn't fully understand the meaning and the depth and importance this structure was for Rain.
In the midnoon sun, the house stood proud, facing where the sun was. Letting all the natural light breach the place, pour in it its warmth.
Rain followed Payu's gaze and fondly watched the house he painstakingly tried to make a reality following the blueprint and plates he and Payu had made years ago.
"What do you think of the house, Phi?" Rain asked.
Payu looked back at Rain. The genuine curiosity and expectation clear in Rain's eyes.
"I was never really able to ask you what you think about it before," Rain said, his voice trailing softly. "Because well... you didn't remember the house and the many nights we spent playfully adding details into the design until we completed it..."
"..."
"Is the house to your liking?" Rain asked. "Did I do well?"
Payu glanced back at the house. From all angles, down to the details of the gates and the trees and plants, everything in the blueprint and plates had been followed. Nothing was missed. He could see all the plans and components adapted and implemented perfectly.
It was perfect, objectively speaking. There was one thing though they could have done better.
Payu twisted on the seat so he was facing Rain properly.
"Everything is good..."
Rain searched Payu's eyes.
"Everything is good," Payu repeated. "...except for one major thing I wish I could change."
Panic began to spread on Rain's face. He turned to the house, looking where he could have gone wrong. Wondering if there was a detail in the plan he missed.
Payu lifted his other hand out over the console, towards Rain's face. When he finally got Rain looking back at him, Payu brushed his thumb over Rain's skin.
"You did well," Payu assured. "I'm so proud you managed to make our dream house to reality."
"..."
"I'm sure arguing with the engineers and the builders hadn't been easy..."
Rain bit his bottom lip. "Then what is wrong?"
"The one thing I wish I could change..."
"..."
"Is... I wish I was there the entire process."
"..."
"I wish I was there to help you."
"..."
"I wish I was there to see the idea on paper slowly become into what it is now."
"..."
"Thank you na..." Payu whispered from the bottom of his heart as he gently tucked Rain's golden hair behind the man's ear.
"..."
"I'm so proud of you, you have no idea."
Rain's eyes were wide with obvious relief. He stared deep and long into Payu's gaze, as if searching for any jest, for any lie.
Rain wouldn't find any no matter how hard he tried.
After a few seconds, it was evident that there was a smile on Rain's lips Rain was trying to fight.
Instead, Rain turned away, just sitting on the seat with his arms crossed over his chest.
"What?" Payu asked, confused.
"You scared me," Rain gritted, not looking at Payu. "I thought I really botched up the house."
"Aww," Payu said, poking Rain on the shoulder with a finger. "That wasn't my intention. Don't be mad."
Rain just glared outside.
"Are you really gonna be mad at me when I finally got my driver's license again?"
Rain slowly turned to Payu, his eyes narrowed into slits.
"Forgive me na?" Payu continued, making his tone light and pleading.
"..."
"Okay?"
Rain sighed and relaxed his shoulders and arms.
"Okay, fine," Rain said with a roll of his eyes. "You just really know I'm weak when you're using that tone."
Payu grinned. "Then I should use it more."
Rain shook his head, looking away. Even so, Payu could tell the trace of smile on Rain's cheeks as the man tried his best to turn away to the opposite direction.
Fully energized, Payu firmly began stepping into the break pedal. Holding on to the gear stick, he took it out of park. Payu then began pressing down on the accelerator, his gaze turning to Rain once in a while.
"Where does my baby want to go?" Payu asked. "This is our first drive out alone after all... with me driving."
Rain glanced at Payu. "I've no idea... I am just excited to go with you anywhere."
"Hmmm..."
"Anywhere is fine, Phi, really. As long as we're together."
Payu pursed his lips and nodded, smiling as he glanced at the rearview mirror.
"I have no plans either," Payu replied. "Let's see where the roads take us?" he asked, putting his left hand out at the top of the car console.
Rain sheepishly smiled, putting his own hand where Payu's was and locking their fingers together.
"Sounds awesome!"
--------------------------------------
The rice field was like an ocean, almost like a different world altogether. Ripe and ready for harvest, the field was glowing in all shades of bright to deep yellow, like gold. Stretching into the distance seemingly endless, it looked like the sea that met the sky in the horizon.
The car windows were pulled down. The sweet scent of the field blew on their faces as they drove into the endless road.
After hours and hours of driving into different cities, here they were, finding themselves in the middle of a beautiful nowhere.
Rain's eyes were fixed outside. The mountain ranges from afar. The flock of birds proudly circling and diving down only to shoot back up to the clouds. The sound of the cool wind on his face. The scent of the earth.
Rain was not even sure why he wanted to cry. Every single thing felt like the first time. They looked a million times prettier, more precious. Every single moment with Payu, no matter how seemingly unimportant, felt surreal.
"..."
The little squeezes Payu made between their linked hands inside the car as Payu drove comforted Rain that this was not a dream. It was a reality he thought was almost impossible.
But here they were. In their first unplanned road trip since almost six years ago.
Rain glanced at Payu, the air blowing on Payu's handsome face and hair.
The golden sun on Payu's skin made his chest tight. Payu was so beautiful. So beautiful every second made Rain's heart skip. He was stuck staring, unable to bring his gaze away as he watched this man hold his hand so tightly and kindly.
"..."
Payu felt Rain's eyes on him. The man glanced over him with a blinding smile. A soft smile just for Rain.
Rain had to swallow the emotions stuck in his throat. Emotional was his second name lately apparently. But Payu never made fun of him. The man would just smile reassuringly, setting Rain's heart at ease.
"You okay?" Payu asked.
"..."
Rain swallowed and nodded with a hint of smile on his lips before turning back outside.
"..."
"..."
Just like that, they resumed focusing on the scenery all around them again, enjoying the dream-like surroundings together. Each having their own silent prayers of thanks and promises the wind carried to the sky.
A few minutes more into their drive, the welcome sign of a new city appeared just after passing through a row of trees and fish ponds.
The city was modern and old at the same time. In the countryside, time just felt five times slower. Quieter, calmer.
As they drove into the first blocks, loud noises and people's chatters joined the afternoon breeze. Everyone was out and about, as if they didn't have a care in the world at all.
"Seems like a celebration for something," Payu said as he slowed down and stopped at a traffic light.
"Yeah, maybe," Rain nodded, eyes roaming all over the colorful banners tied over the lamp posts and in each of the houses and establishments. "Could it be their city foundation day?"
"We can ask them later," Payu said, stepping back into the gas again. "Are you hungry?"
Rain grinned. "A bit..."
"I saw the sign for the city plaza earlier. Why don't we find some food over there? I bet there are food stalls and all sorts of delicacies available there."
"Sounds good!" Rain replied, tapping his tummy. "Local food for the win."
Payu smiled, patting Rain on the head briefly before focusing back on the road.
It took them a little bit of time to find a place to park. After circling the plaza a number of times, a small gasoline station allowed them to park for a few hours.
They stepped into the streets, hands locked together. It was inevitable some people would stare. Right at their interlocked fingers to their faces. To their faces back to their entwined hands.
But those eyes didn't faze them. They held hands proudly, heads held high as they walked.
People would look either with curiosity and animosity or simply just look with no meaning.
Whatever their looks entailed, it didn't matter for Payu and Rain.
"Ah, the plaza," Rain pointed excitedly. "Can you smell that? That smells good!"
Payu held Rain's hand tighter, as if he was afraid he'd lose Rain in the crowd. The two of them pushed through the groups of people by the entrance taking photos.
Once they passed that hurdle, they were greeted by a large open space. An expanse of concrete and nature that seemed unreal as it just continued from end to end. Light bluish cobblestone pathways seemed to all lead to the dead fountain in the middle.
Stalls of foods, toys, and even souvenirs were scattered around. Kids were running. Some people were lying on the grass, doing their picnics and just chattering the day away.
"It's been so long since I've been in a place like this," Rain mumbled. "Feels like a different planet..."
Payu grinned. "Same here actually..."
The two of them walked and took in the vibrant colors around them. The golden glow of the setting sun over the busy crowd reminded Rain of postcards.
After a few minutes of circling around, just watching and observing the stalls and the people, they finally purchased their picks on food. Payu then led Rain towards the only remaining available metal bench facing the dead fountain.
Once seated, they took their time really tasting the food. As if they were in a picnic. As if they were once more in Rain's college days, stuck at the university for projects and Payu had to bring him food to stay alive.
"Phi..." Rain mumbled with his mouth half full. "Yemember that time? My fourth year's final pwaject?"
Payu turned to Rain with a pinched look on his face. He looked equal parts disgusted and amused. The man grabbed a tissue and wiped the corner of Rain's mouth.
"I do," Payu said. "But don't talk with food in your mouth."
Rain began to chew faster, determined to get the food out of the way.
"Jeez, slow down." Payu reached for a bottle of water, uncapped it, and handed it to Rain. "There's no hurry."
After taking the bottle and taking three huge gulps, Rain grinned at Payu. "So... remember that finals project in my fourth year?"
Shaking his head, Payu smiled, just listening to every word Rain had to say.
"I thought me and Por and Sig were all gonna die. How many days were we stuck in the university?"
Payu chuckled. "Four days. Three nights."
"We haven't slept. We haven't taken a bath. That was torture," Rain said with a laugh. "The only reason the three of us survived was because you bought us supplies! Namely food and more food!"
"You three looked hilarious."
Rain scowled. "And Sky was where? He was having a mini trip in Changmai with P'Pai. That traitor!"
Payu threw his head back in a laugh before flicking Rain's forehead with his finger. "That's all because the three of you chose to do the project last minute. And Sky did his ahead of time. Honestly, you three got what you deserved."
"What?"
"Especially you," Payu said sternly. "I kept on telling you to do it but what did you do? You spent your days playing games. And when you went back to your mom's house promising me you'll focus, what did you do? You went ahead and still played."
Rain looked away and hummed. Payu was real mad at him that time. It was one of those really rare occasions where Payu wouldn't say a word to him.
Sure the man brought them food, but Payu would just drop the food and leave. The look of disappointment on Payu and the no communication took a toll on Rain he came crying back at Payu's house.
"I am not entirely mad because you neglected a project that's so important for you to get on in your fifth year..." Payu had told him while trying to stop him from crying. "I am mad because look at you now. You haven't slept. You haven't rested. Because of that negligence and lying to me, you're ruining your health."
"... I'm sorry..."
"Have you learned your lesson now?"
It was a somewhat dark, now hilarious piece of time. A memory that Rain was fond of. Because even when Payu was mad and disappointed, the man still made sure Rain didn't starve to death and consoled him endlessly after the whole ordeal.
That was why in his fifth year, he was more determined to be better. He handled his schedule and commitments with respect and he was happy with his growth. And even happier that Payu was happy and proud of him.
Rain sighed and rested his head against Payu's shoulder, sheepishly throwing his best puppy dog eyes up at Payu.
"I apologized for that already, didn't I?"
Payu glanced at Rain's face, looked away and released a long breath. Rain smiled when he felt Payu's hand on his arm, just staying there and gently tapping mindlessly as they soaked in the remaining light from the sky.
In the span of thirty minutes, night had come faster than Rain would have wanted. The old lamp posts started flickering to life. The light bulbs spread far and wide over the plaza lit one by one. And beyond that the stars were peeking in.
"Are you cold?" Payu asked, rubbing Rain's arm.
"No, Phi. I'm good. I like the breeze like this," Rain mumbled, contentedly snug beside Payu.
"Do you want to eat something else?"
"Hmm..."
"We can try the crepe we passed by earlier."
"Oh yeah," Rain perked up. "I almost forgot about that."
Payu smiled and slowly stood from where they were sitting. He also took the plastic of trash from the food they ate earlier. "I'll go buy then. You rest here."
"Huh?" Rain knitted his brows together, motioning to stand. "I can buy with you though. I'm not tired."
"It's alright," Payu said, gently pushing Rain's shoulders to make and guide him to sit back. "Today, tonight... you're the majesty, my king."
Rain began to chuckle. "My wish is your command?"
"Certainly," Payu said, pushing his chest outward, vibing with Rain's attempt to act like royalty.
"Shouldn't you be kneeling on one knee then?"
"Should I?"
When Payu was about to go on his knee, Rain gasped. "Stop! I was just kidding. No need for that!"
Payu laughed and ruffled Rain's hair messily. "I saw you eyeing the crepe before. I'll get that for you in double large. Just this once."
Rain grinned. "Was I too obvious?"
"I was about to wipe the drool off your face actually."
Rain scratched his neck lightly with a pout. "Stop teasing already and go..."
Payu shook his head and turned to walk away. "I'll be back soon. Stay there and don't wander around."
"I thought I was the king?" Rain grumbled as he watched Payu's retreating back. "Look at him ordering me around. Who orders their king like that?"
Just as he was watching Payu, a sudden idea sparked in Rain's brain.
"Yes, Daddy," he said sneakily, just loud enough for Payu to hear. "I'll be your good boy and wait over here."
Payu paused. He just stood there, taking a while to turn. When he finally looked over his shoulder, his brow was raised. There was a glint in the man's eyes. A glint of warning. A hint of amusement.
"Rain..." Payu said with a sigh.
Rain waved his hand in the air, acting innocent as he dragged his eyes to the picturesque night sky over them.
"..."
Payu resumed walking and it was all Rain could do not to laugh because he knew that was one thing to annoy Payu.
When Payu disappeared after passing through a group of laughing teenagers, Rain looked up at the sky once more.
Blue. Grey. Dark blue. Teal. The colors of the sky overlapped over one another and the breeze kept blowing on his cheeks like a soft caress that made him close his eyes.
"..."
After inhaling the fresh air where the scents of food mingled, Rain turned to his left and right. There was a cotton candy booth a few feet away from him. A trolley with wooden sculpted animals close by. On his right was a busy botany stall.
"..."
Rain watched the people on the other side of the fountain. Some of them felt familiar. But every time he tried to look closely, they were gone or he was mistaken.
"..."
"Phi," a young voice called.
That broke Rain's train of thoughts. He looked at the source of the voice and a smiling girl, about twelve or thirteen with wide bright eyes was there in front looking at him. She was hiding something behind her. Her cheeks flushed, her smile was big.
"Hello...?" Rain began, leaning forward. He looked around wondering why she would have any business with him. She had short hair, a small tribal looking necklace around her neck. Rain didn't know her. Yet, somehow, someway, she seemed and felt utterly familiar.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
The girl laughed. "I had a hair cut. And you only saw me once so I understand you wouldn't remember me, Phi."
"...?"
She grinned widely, slowly bringing her hands in front. In them was a small bundle of flowers tied neatly by a white lace. The petals were dainty and small. Bright purple. The scent was mild and sweet.
"For me?"
The girl nodded encouragingly.
"..."
Rain slowly reached for the bundle of flowers, confused. The flowers offered to him were flowers that were so familiar. Flowers that he once placed in a vase while crying thinking everything was over. Flowers that he kept before even when they have long since died and dried.
"..."
When Rain looked back at the girl, she was already walking away.
"Uhm-- wait!"
The girl paused, looking over her shoulder.
"Your energy is so much stable, Phi. You're shining so bright."
Rain let out a soft gasp, standing from the bench with the flowers in his hand.
"Gemma?"
The girl showed a gummy grin, tossing a peace sign at Rain. Before Rain could say another word, the girl was already skipping away.
"Wait..."
Rain was busy watching the young girl-- the same girl he met in the mountains when he was trying to get Payu back-- skip away. He was focused on trying to pin point her from the crowd he didn't notice someone else coming to his left side.
"Rain," a familiar voice called.
When Rain turned to the voice, he was met by a familiar face again and this guy's equally annoying eat-shitting grin.
"Sig...?"
"That's me!" he said with glee.
"Why are you--"
Rain didn't even notice the small bundle of flowers in his friend's right hand until Sig offered it to him.
"Take it."
Dumbfounded, Rain just accepted the flowers automatically. The same bundle of purple flowers Gemma had given him.
"If you're wondering where Por is," Sig said as he looked left and right. "He should be here but the dimwit ate something bad and has diarrhea. He's somewhere around, shitting."
Rain laughed although he was still confused as hell.
"We're always here if you want to party, have fun, and goof around," Sig said. "We may not always be around, but always, you're always in our prayers."
"What... are you even talking about?" Rain asked, genuinely lost.
"Well, that's about it for me," Sig said with a little wave before also walking away.
"Sig, what is going on?"
Rain watched Sig walk away. When he was about to follow him, he felt another presence behind him this time. He quickly turned around.
It was a face he didn't expect.
"Hima...?"
The doctor smirked, handing Rain the same small bundle of purple flowers that Gemma and Sig had given him.
"Be grateful," Hima said, pulling his eyeglasses off with one hand and putting it over the pocket of his white long sleeves. "I'm so busy at the hospital but I can't let this pass."
"...?"
Rain looked at the flowers back at Hima.
"Take it. It's yours."
Hesitantly, Rain took the small bundle, adding it to the previous ones he got. Hima must have seen the confusion on Rain's face. The man rolled his eyes, but all done with a smirk. His gaze was kind as he looked deeply into Rain's eyes.
"You only deserve happiness from this point on..." Hima said softly. Hima who only always looked so fed up or poker faced smiled gently at him. His genuineness he rarely showed pinched a chord in Rain's chest. "You truly showed me that a real unbreakable bond exists in this world..."
"Hima..."
"I'm proud that at some point in time, I liked you. I still do," the man said sincerely. "As a friend of course," Hima added. He patted Rain on the shoulder once and sighed. "For making me believe that it is possible to find someone worth waiting for... thank you."
Hima stepped back, eyes at Rain. He took a few more steps back before waving, smiling at Rain with that very self-assured smile of his.
The doctor mouthed something after. Rain read his friend's lips clearly.
"Don't cry."
"..."
It only made Rain want to cry even more.
He was watching Hima walk away when he felt a gentle tap on his right shoulder. He slowly turned to look. Prapai and Sky were smiling at him, handing him the same small bundle of purple flowers the others had given him.
Rain accepted them wordlessly. The first few tears escaping the corners of his eyes as he hugged the flowers tight to his chest.
"I knew you'd ugly cry like this," Sky mumbled, quickly pulling out a hanky from his pocket and wiping Rain's face.
"Because..." Rain began to sob. "Because what the hell are you guys doing...?"
Prapai chuckled, getting his own handkerchief to dry Rain's other eye.
"I was tired of seeing you so lifeless for the longest time. I knew you were hiding from us, crying all alone," Prapai said softly. "But it's fine if they're happy tears. You should only cry happy tears from now on."
Rain's vision was so blurry he could only make a few shapes and shadows in front of him. The lamp posts around him looked like beams of light, the orbs spread out like halos lighting the plaza.
"You're the strongest, most tenacious person I know," Sky whispered. "I'm so proud of you. Always remember that."
Rain bit his bottom lip as he watched Prapai and Sky step away from him.
To his left, he felt someone approaching. He quickly turned to the silhouette and chuckled despite his teary face.
"Why are you all coming in all different directions?" Rain whined with a laugh.
"To distract you," Saifa said with a smile. "What else?"
When Saifa reached Rain, the man's eyes were red. There was complete adoration in Saifa's gaze as he looked at Rain.
"I've always been the younger twin brother all my life," Saifa said. "But when you arrived in our lives, I learned how it is to have a younger sibling."
"..."
Saifa shook his head. "And hell were you a pain in the ass."
Rain chuckled, quickly swiping over his cheeks.
Saifa, who was carrying the same bundle of purple flowers, stepped closer and gave it to Rain. He even tried to fix and balance all the bundles in Rain's arms so they wouldn't fall. Once he was done, he looked back up at Rain's face.
"Thank you for coming into my brother's life," Saifa said.
"..."
"Many people would think that Payu has helped you and taught you about life. And while that is true, it's the same for my twin."
"..."
"You taught him so many things he wouldn't know had you not come barreling like an unpredictable rain in our lives," Saifa said, his voice breaking a bit. "You humanized my brother... made him lose his cool... made him cry and laugh and completely focus on another human being other than his goals in life."
"..."
"The chaos and the noise you brought in our house... is something I'll always miss."
Rain could feel the warmth of his own tears slide down his cheeks as he watched Saifa look up, jumping a bit as if to stop crying himself.
The man chuckled, quickly swiping at the corner of his face before looking back at Rain. "I'll always support you two."
"..."
"And if the two of you ever fight," Saifa added as he was stepping backwards. "Come find me and we'll beat him together. I'm on your side."
Rain could feel his lips trembling. He bit down on his lower lip hard.
"..."
He was trying to hold himself together. He was trying his hardest not to fall on the cobblestones and cry. But when he saw her, that familiar woman's form stepping into the light from the nearby lamp post, carrying the same purple bundle of flowers in her hands, Rain lost it.
He slowly made his way towards her.
"Even you, Ma?" Rain croaked, a crying mess. "Why are you all..." he hiccupped, ugly crying in front of his mother. "Why are you all here...?"
She gently pinched her son's cheek, giving Rain the bundle of flowers she was holding.
For a long time, she just watched Rain, her eyes full of love and pride. She smiled, sighing as she stepped closer to her son.
"I've seen you grow..." she began. "From when you were just a little bean up to now... Now, look at you. You're all grown up..."
"..."
"I have seen you fall so many times. Have seen you struggle over and over."
"..."
"Every mother wants their baby to never fall. To never hurt. To never be in pain..."
"..."
"But that is not possible, Rain..." she said. "Because this is life."
"Ma..."
"You will fall. You will cry. You will be in pain. And then you will be happy," she said, bringing her hand on Rain's face and brushing the back of her forefinger over Rain's cheek. "You are not alone now. Ma is the happiest knowing that this universe gave you someone who would share all the world has to offer. Someone who would share this precious life with you."
"..."
"I am at peace that my baby has found true, selfless, boundless, patient love."
"..."
Rain bowed his head, his tears falling over the bundle of flowers he was carrying.
His mother gently brought her hands up, cupping Rain's face so they were eye to eye.
"I'm sure your Pa shares the same sentiments..."
"..."
"Whatever it is the world will bring, if it is you and Payu together, I know..." she whispered. "I know... it will be alright."
Rain pursed his lips, stepping closer to his mother, bowing his head over her shoulder as he sought her warmth.
She gently hummed, patting Rain's back like how she always did when Rain cried as a little child.
"No matter how old you become, you're still my baby," she whispered before taking a step back.
Rain blinked his tears away, still just gazing at his mother's sweet face. His chest feeling so full and tight and warm. And all kinds of nervousness and excitement, swirling all in his core like a storm.
Rain's mother smiled and nodded. She wasn't looking at Rain though. Her gaze was over Rain's shoulder, smiling at someone behind.
"...?"
Rain felt the goosebumps on his arms rise. An electric current zapped right through his chest to his fingertips as he heard those footsteps.
Footsteps over the cobblestones that sounded so loud. Slow footsteps, getting closer, nearer to him.
It was the only sound. As if everything in the plaza had gone quiet and only that sound was he could hear.
"..."
Rain slowly turned around, towards the fountain behind him.
"..."
And there he was, P'Payu, walking towards him with a full bouquet of the heliotropes.
The man only had eyes on Rain as he walked. Never breaking eye contact. Never taking his focus away as he slowly strode towards where Rain was standing.
"..."
The breeze blew past them strong. In it carried the dried leaves from the surrounding trees. The bubbles some of the little kids were making. They were like little blurred confetti in the air.
Rain could not totally see them. Only their little shapes and shadows in the background. Because there was nothing Rain could see clearly and sharply other than Payu coming to him.
How many times would this man take his breath away, Rain would never know.
But this was one of those moments where he wanted to swallow but couldn't. Everything was just lodged in his throat as he watched Payu walk over to him.
"..."
When Payu was finally in front of him, Rain just looked up. He looked deeply into Payu's eyes. Eyes that were so deep, so bold, and yet had the softest gaze just for him.
"What?" Rain began with mock accusation. "The trip is unplanned? You've got nothing going on and you just want us to have a drive?"
Payu just smiled, lifting his free hand to wipe the tears on Rain's cheeks with his thumb. "Beautiful..."
"Huh?" Rain grumbled. "Beautiful? When I look like this?"
"You always have been," Payu whispered. He looked into Rain's face, just pure awe in the man's gaze. "Your eyes, your mouth, your whole being..."
"..."
"Even more so your loyalty, your dedication," Payu paused, swallowing as he lowered his hand back to his side. "Your patience with me. Your strength in never giving up on me..."
"..."
"For believing in us..."
"..."
"You're so beautiful I can't take it..."
"..."
"You're so beautiful I don't deserve it..."
"..."
Rain didn't want to cry again. He already ugly cried in front of his mother. But as he tried to calm himself, to pull himself and stand there calmly, the clearer it came to him it was impossible.
He couldn't. He couldn't stop himself. His tears streamed down his face as he tried to see Payu past the blurriness in his eyes.
"..."
To see that he was being appreciated to this extent. To feel it. To hear it out in the open. It was so precious, priceless.
Rain didn't know where to put the bursting emotions in him he just slowly closed the distance between him and Payu, putting his forehead over Payu's chest to cry and sob.
"You're so sly..." Rain whined, forehead still on Payu's chest as he tried to calm down. "You're so cunning..."
Payu rested his chin on top of Rain's head and blew a long breath. As though a sigh of contentment. A sigh of relief that they were again at an arm's reach.
"I wanted to give you even more amazing memories," Payu whispered. And in every word he uttered, Rain could feel the vibrations from Payu's chest. It was soothing. It made Rain feel safe. "Memories to make up for all the years you've been waiting..."
"Just you coming back is amazing memory enough..."
Payu held on to Rain's shoulder, gently pushing Rain so that they were face to face.
"But that won't do," Payu said, looking deeply into Rain's eyes. "I've made it my mission to serve you. Protect you. Make you smile. Love you. Cherish you... in all the simplest and grandest ways I can think of."
"..."
"Because you deserve it."
"..."
"You deserve it."
Rain bit his bottom lip, quickly swiping over his cheeks with his hand as he stared deeply back in the pair of eyes he didn't mind getting lost in.
Payu stood straighter, smiling at Rain before offering the bouquet of flowers to him.
Rain pursed his lips as he took the bouquet, adding it from the previous small bundles he got earlier. The scent wrapped around him like a reassuring blanket. Mildly sweet, comforting.
"Rain..." Payu called gently, pulling Rain's gaze back to him. "Do you still see me as someone you can spend the rest of your life with?"
Rain glanced at the flowers in his arms another time. He held them tightly to his chest, feeling their dainty presence, their gentle scent circling around him.
Drawing a deep, assured breath, he gazed up, meeting again Payu's intense yet soft gaze.
"You know P'Payu..." Rain began. "All those five years and the time we were apart after... I realized... I can exist without you."
"..."
"I'm strong enough to be on my own."
"..."
"I can exist without you."
"..."
Rain couldn't see in front of him. He blinked hard a number of times and wiped his eyes with his arm.
"I can exist without you, Phi," Rain said with a smile. "But why would I?"
"..."
"I don't want to just exist..." Rain mumbled. "I want to live with you."
Payu kept on looking at Rain. Even when tears were already falling from the corner of Payu's eyes, he just maintained his gaze at Rain, as if not wanting to miss anything Rain would do or would say.
"P'Payu," Rain mumbled, his voice breaking. "When I look at you... I see the past, my present and my forever..."
Payu drew his brows together and bit his bottom lip. He lifted his left hand-- palm up-- towards Rain.
"...?"
"I have something I need to return to you," Payu said.
"..."
Unsure of what was going on, Rain lifted his own left hand, putting it on Payu's waiting hand.
The taller man pulled something out of the pocket of his trousers. Rain couldn't see it. Not even when Payu had held Rain's hand with both of his.
Rain looked at Payu with questioning eyes. Payu just smiled. They never broke eye contact. They continued looking at each other's eyes even when Payu slid his hand off Rain's and instead moved to hold on to Rain's fingers.
Rain didn't see it. He felt it.
The cold smooth surface of a ring, circled around his ring finger. The familiar presence and its weight back on his skin.
"This is yours..." Payu said. "Your pair of the two rings..."
Rain swallowed. He brought his gaze at the ring on his ring finger, glinting and sparkling. The moon and light from the lamp posts and light bulbs over their heads were being mirrored by the silver band, like a small universe on Rain's finger.
"When you returned this to me back then," Payu continued, eyes on Rain's hand before looking back up at Rain's face. "When you slid this in front of me on the table... instead of feeling free, I felt chained."
"..."
"You gave me your ring back... and it took me so long to understand that I lost something important instead."
"..."
"I want to return it to where it belongs. I want to give it back to the reason why it was even made in the first place."
Rain looked at his hand closely, silent tears freely flowing over his cheeks as he gazed at the ring he was ready to give up for Payu's freedom. Now it was back on him. As if Payu's freedom was him. Just as how his own was Payu.
When he looked back at Payu, Payu was just standing there watching him. A smile on the man's lips amidst the glistening in Payu's eyes.
"Thank you," Rain said, his heart seemingly wrapped in a warm caress. There was just something mystical in the way the ring made his heart sigh in relief. As if all this time, it was a missing piece, a lost body part that finally returned to him. "Thank you for... this..."
Rain bowed and wept, eyes at the lone ring around his finger. He wondered where Payu's ring was. Lost in the mountains from the accident five years ago, Rain felt bad. Even when it was just an object, it was an object with deep importance for the both of them. A symbol of their togetherness. A symbol of their promise.
"Your ring, Phi," Rain sobbed. "I feel bad for it... alone out there..."
Payu smiled, a tear falling from the corner of his eyes as he cupped Rain's face with both of his hands.
"It's not alone," Payu whispered. "It's back where it belongs."
Blinking the tears away from his eyes, Rain stared into Payu questioningly.
"Huh...?"
The other man lowered his hand. Payu reached into the pocket of his trousers again.
Slowly, delicately, Payu showed his palm. In it was the partner of Rain's ring. Silver, glinting in the evening lights. Safe and whole.
Rain quickly looked up. "But... how?"
A smile on the man's lips, Payu glanced in the crowd. Rain followed Payu's gaze and saw Gemma standing beside his mother.
"A little angel kept it for us..." Payu mumbled. "She literally held on to it and gave it back at the perfect time..."
"..."
"And that time was when I realized, even without my memories... you're still the one."
Rain took the ring on Payu's palm. He let the weight of it rest on his palm. Their names engraved inside were visible-- an infinity loop-- circling all over with no space and break. As if their prayers that in the next life, it would still be them.
Sniffing, a mess, and a wreck, Rain walked closer to Payu, making sure his flowers were tucked by his arm. He reached for Payu's left hand, caressing the fingers lovingly before meeting with Payu's gaze.
"D-do you still--" Rain began, almost unable to form words. He drew a deep breath and tried again. "Do you still see me as... as someone you can spend the rest of your life with, Phi?" he asked, throwing the same question to Payu.
"I'll never have it any other way," Payu answered, his smile still on his lips despite the continuous tears falling from the corner of his eyes. "My place in this world is with you..."
Rain nodded, crying as he pushed Payu's ring into the man's ring finger. His own fingers were cold and sweaty. He could feel himself shaking.
"Rain..."
"What..?"
"Rain..." Payu called again. "That's my index finger."
"Wait-- I can't see, damn it!" Rain exclaimed. "My tears..."
Rain could hear the collective giggles in the background. He could hear someone saying 'you can do it' and 'go Rain' somewhere. He was sure it was Por and Sig. He laughed himself, as he finally managed to put the ring back into its rightful place.
Rain held Payu's hand, his gaze into Payu's eyes, his heart wildly pounding in his chest it was a miracle he was still upright.
"With this, we're engaged again?" Rain mumbled, breathless and almost light headed. "Right? Right?!"
"Yes," Payu nodded. "We ar--"
Rain took Payu's breath literally. Stealing the next words from Payu's mouth with his lips. Sealing everything with their combined souls. Kissing Payu, this man-- his man-- in front of all the strangers in the crowd. In front of all the close people in his heart.
Rain could tell he surprised Payu. But that surprise didn't last as Payu's hands found their way towards Rain's neck and jaw, keeping Rain in place as Payu reciprocated the kiss, feasting on Rain's mouth as if Payu's life depended on it.
And in a way, it probably did.
The heat in their lips was like a wild fire spreading through out their bodies. The tears from their eyes were hot, the wind blowing at their faces and bodies was cold. And that cold breeze only made them realize how fierce and burning they were. Right now. For each other.
Payu closed in the last gap in Rain's space and dove deep into Rain's lips. Retracing every curve, slope and warmth inside Rain's mouth.
Rain was willing and happy enough to let Payu in. Just receiving everything that Payu was giving and doing. And Rain giving back into the kiss with as much gusto and intensity.
Rain stood on his toes, this time taking his turn into exploring his lover's mouth. Retracing and relieving all that was in his memory. Worshipping and savoring where his breath ended and where Payu's started and vice versa.
"..."
"..."
What started as ravishing, hungry, and fierce... it eventually slowed down. A calm exchange yet as equally searing.
Rain was full, his heart, his soul. Even with his closed eyes, he could tell Payu was smiling as he languidly kissed him. Playfully teasing and pulling at each other's lips. Payu's hand at the back of Rain's neck skimmed lower, moving to Rain's waist, pulling Rain to him as Payu kissed Rain's forehead.
"Thank you for choosing me over and over na," Payu whispered. A voice so soft, so gentle, only meant for Rain to hear. "I'm yours. Will always be..."
Rain closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of the flowers and Payu's scent to his core. "I'm yours too, Phi..." Rain whispered back so Payu only could hear. "I'm yours always..."
They looked up at each other, both tear stricken. But they each have contented smiles on their faces. A glow of happiness and fullness and completeness that cannot be bought or replaced.
Because Payu and Rain were totally engrossed in each other's eyes and presence, they didn't even notice the fountain behind going into life. The water like an oasis that was changing colors all the time.
The applause in the plaza was deafening. It came to Rain and Payu slowly, as if they were slowly letting the outside world again into their space, coming back from their own world.
Payu and Rain sought each other's hands, holding and linking their fingers tight as they faced the crowd.
"..."
"..."
Their friends, everyone, Gemma, Sig, Por, Hima, Saifa, Sky and Prapai were at the front. Rain's mother was beside Gemma, holding on to the girl's shoulders as she wept happy tears for her son.
The strangers in the plaza clapped. Some only to ride the atmosphere. But those who listened and truly watched, knew in their hearts that these two souls before them had gone through so much. That this exchange of promise, of baring their oaths, meant so much more than just a simple proposal or engagement.
A young woman was weeping beside the fountain. A man beside the toy stall was clapping his hands like he was part of Rain's friends. Another girl was tearful near a tree. Her friends were teasing her why she was crying. All she did was smile and watch the couple in front of her.
If someone asked her if she'd seen two people who'd probably gone through hell to finally be one again, it would likely be the two men in front of her.
"Gosh!" Por shouted, "I thought you'll kiss until morning! I was about to look for a popcorn!"
"Shut up!" Sig chided, laughing and clapping.
Rain looked at each of the faces of the most important persons in his life. All of them shared the same flushed looks. They had happy glows in their eyes. He was indeed lucky to have these people celebrating this moment with him.
"..."
"..."
Payu and Rain looked at each other. They didn't say anything. Just one look, eye to eye, they felt what each other wanted to do.
They tightened their interlocked fingers and moved a few steps forward.
"Thank you," Payu started. "For looking after Rain while I was gone. We owe you all so much."
Rain pursed his lips, glancing at Payu proudly before facing their friends and family as well.
"Thank you," Rain added. "For being there. For just being there when we needed you the most. We are grateful..."
Payu and Rain, with their hands together, bowed to everyone. A low and heartfelt one. A bow of appreciation. A bow of thanks. A bow of gratefulness.
When Payu and Rain straightened again, the people around began to clap even harder. Cheering and shouting congratulations in the air.
Payu glanced at Rain. Rain returned the gaze. It was hilarious how both of their faces were a mess. Still, Payu was the most handsome man in the world. He was all and everything Rain could ask for.
Payu lowered his head, their foreheads and noses touching. Payu chuckled, scrunching his nose as he gathered Rain into his arms.
"Let's go home soon," Payu whispered.
Rain perked up. "Together?"
"Together..."
Rain's corresponding smile was blinding. Blinding in a way that it was what only Payu could see and nothing else.
"I love you," Payu mouthed.
"I love you," Rain mouthed back, rubbing the tips of their noses together.
In each other's presence, with all these people, under this magical night, it couldn't be any more perfect.
Payu and Rain have closed a chapter. A seemingly tragic chapter that they managed to rewrite into something joyous instead.
A chapter had ended.
An arc was finished.
But to Payu and Rain, this was just a new beginning.
A beginning of the many new exciting chapters of Payu's and Rain's life ahead.
It had been an arduous journey. Lonely. Excruciating.
But because of their hearts that always searched, souls that always waited... what was meant to be, will be.
The rain was no longer alone. For the storm had finally found again its course.
And wherever the storm and rain went, rainbows always, always, followed...
The End.
---------------------------
End notes:
Thank you for reading until the end of this fanfiction!!!! It's been so long writing this! I had sooo much fun. I hope you did too. Tears and all.
It was a journey writing this.
See you in the next fanfiction! (Whenever that may be.) I realized how lazy I can be while writing this. But am so proud to have completed this.
End note's end note:
I may or may not write a special chapter. Lol
Twitter now X : master_siomao