"So....you had feelings for him?"
Emir asked Filiz curiously.
They both were now dressed, sitting together in the tv lounge of her house. It was raining heavily outside so Filiz asked Emir to stay till the rain stops.
"For whom?"
"Hakan...." even his name boiled Emir's blood. The thought of Filiz in Hakan's embrace was suffocating for him.
"I....I...don't know honestly....I always thought we had no future together but....I cared for him. He comforted me when I was alone and sad. I thought he also cared for me......we were together for 4 months.....I really cared for him, if not loved him. And I used to think that whenever this thing between us comes to an end it will be on good terms.......but today....I came to know his real intentions....he just wanted one thing from me....." she was saying with a glint of disappointment in her eyes.
She didn't tell Emir that she was ready to marry Hakan, she made sure she didn't share this precise detail with anyone.
"That guy can be dangerous Filiz.....you have to take care....." Emir was deeply concerned.
"I will be fine.......you didn't tell me why you visited here today?" she tried to change the topic of conversation.
"I...just wanted to make sure that you are ok. What you saw in the hospital.....it wasn't what it seemed like to you actually. Ayeshayy was as always blurting out lies and nonsense. I couldn't react because it was my workplace....."
Filiz could say that he was telling the truth....
"Ok...I trust you. You don't need to worry about me regarding this topic now....."
Emir was relieved at her assurance but this peace was short-lived...
"I just hope that you trusted me as well....."
Her next sentence took his breath away. Filiz understood that he wasn't ready to trust her. She was hurt. Of course she was hurt by his lack of trust in her.
He remembered Anne's words.....
Should he confess to her?
"The rain has stopped...."
"Huhhh?" he came back to reality.
"I said the rain has stopped.....Kemal and Eda would be home anytime now..."
She wanted him to leave before her siblings showed up.
"Ummm yeah...I should get going...." he stood up from the couch.
Filiz followed him to the main door.
Before unlocking the door, he turned back and looked at her.
He had so much grief in his eyes at that moment.
He cupped her face and kissed her forehead. Filiz closed her eyes.
"Take care. Call me if anything bothers you ok..."
She nodded.
He left.
Like always, Emir left Filiz without confessing his true feelings to her.
*************
Filiz told Halay about her and Hakan.
Halay was shocked to say the least.
While staying at Buyukada, she never had this thought that Filiz and Hakan were seeing each other secretly.
"He just showed up when I was so upset. He helped me overcome those distressing times....I got closer to him with time....I had no idea that he would turn out to be this creepy and pathetic...."
"Filiz, why didn't you tell me sooner? What if Azra aunty comes to know about this?"
Halay was worried.
"I don't know Halay...."
"Hakan took advantage of your weak state...." Halay was angry at her cousin.
"Everything happened with my consent...." Filiz confessed.
"But how can he force you like this? We should talk to Azra Aunty about this....."
"No Halay. Let it be. Azra Aunty helped me a lot by letting me live in her home. I don't want to trouble her regarding her own son...."
Also Filiz didn't want Azra to know that she got into an affair with her own son while seeking refuge in her home. Filiz was guilty as well for giving Hakan the permission to be in close proximity to her.
"Is this the first time he tried to force himself on you?" Halay asked her.
"Before this...when we were in Buyukada...he did try to make me weak, to give into temptations and let him have his way...but I somehow always managed to remain conscious....."
"My goodness Filiz....why didn't you tell me this? He was trying to manipulate and exploit you all along....tell me more about how he treated you?" Halay was now deeply concerned for her best friend.
"I..I thought he cared for me....he said to me that I should always listen to him and do as he says to me...." Filiz was now slowly realizing her mistakes.
"He tried to get his control over you..." Halay figured it out and Filiz was startled. How can she ignore all of those red flags..?
"I can't believe that I was this stupid...I thought he cared for me but it was his emotional manipulation. He wanted to dominate me. He wanted to break me...." tears were dwelling up in her eyes as realizations hit her.
"It was unlimited times in our relationship of 4 months that I could have recognized those red flags....but I decided to ignore them...."
"Filiz, you ignored them because you were longing for someone's love and care. What you went through before meeting Hakan, made you vulnerable. It was easy for Hakan to trap you by targeting your weak spots...I am sorry Filiz....it's all because of me..I shouldn't have taken you there.." Halay was guilty now.
"No. It's not your fault....don't say that Halay. You just helped me.." she held Halay's hand.
"Filiz, my aunt was in a toxic relationship for years. I have seen her suffering just because she thought that the man will change at some point but he didn't. Just like you she also met him after a bitter breakup with her long time boyfriend. Initially it was all good and beautiful, the same way it happened with you. But then he started showing his true colors. He asked her to not to leave the house without his permission, he asked her to have the food that he likes, he asked her to not to talk to other guys, he even asked her to dress according to his likes and dislikes. Initially it was only emotional manipulation but then it progressed to physical abuse. I still remember those bruises all over her face when she used to visit Anne.
She gave unlimited chances to him to redeem, even had a child with him but he didn't change. He used to torture her even during her pregnancy. She went through premature labor because he tried to choke her to death. It was only then when she fought back to save her child. She hit him with a vase and called help. Luckily the baby was safe and my aunt finally divorced him but she was traumatized for life.
Men like Hakan never change. Thank God we got out of there at the right time otherwise Hakan could have done worse to you...." Filiz was horrified after hearing about Halay's aunt. She went through the same situation with Hakan.
"That.... that's exactly how it happened with me....he once asked me to wipe off my lipstick because he thought it would attract guys towards me, he hated it when I used to argue with him.......Halay, I was so stupid. Why I didn't realize this earlier??" she was crying now. She got herself stuck in this mess.
"It's not your fault. You were weak and vulnerable, he used it against you..."
"He proposed to me and wanted to have children with me...."
Halay's eyes widened with disbelief at this new revelation.
"What? What did you say?"
"I didn't accept it right way. I asked him for time to think about it...and luckily next day I got the call from Kemal about Anne...."
Halay let out a sigh of relief.
"Filiz....marrying Hakan will be a bigger torture and hell. And never even think about having a child with him.... children made out of toxic relationships like your and Hakan's are even more traumatized and troubled due to the equation of their parents. They spend their entire lives looking for happy endings but they hardly get it due to the traumas that destroyed their lives..."
Filiz wiped away her tears.
"You know at one point I even considered marrying him and having a family with him but I got to see his reality at the right time...."
She was now just hurt that she once tried to picture him as her life partner.
"But why he did that to me? He could have any other girl?" she expressed her concern to Halay.
"Because you were too beautiful for him....." Halay answered.
"What do you mean?"
"Filiz, Hakan has always been insecure about his dark skin tone, since our childhood. He inherited it from his father and hated it. Azra aunty still has a fairer skin complexion but his father was dark. He faced rejection from so many girls. I myself have seen a few girls rejecting him just because of his color. What I have understood from your story is that Hakan was attracted to you because of your beauty and white skin. He always went for white skin girls. You also rejected him at first...."
"But I rejected him because of my own issues,not because of his color. I found him good looking since the first time I saw him..." Filiz interrupted to defend herself.
"That was your perspective for him Filiz. It's no big deal that you found him good looking. It was your choice. But Hakan have faced rejections from girls of your skin tone for 90% of times. Even Dilara once told me that Hakan refused to marry a girl just because she was also dark in skin complexion like him. You were 24/7 in front of him that's why he decided to take another chance with you and the second time you also accepted him. That must be the reason that he proposed you for marriage. A girl like you would have been a win-win situation for Hakan. And even his wish of having children with you also must be related to this reason....he wanted his kids to be beautiful and fair like their mother. He thought that since you are alone and young so you will be easy for him to control....at least that's what I can understand."
Halay explained Hakan's side of story to Filiz.
Filiz was horrified to say the least. While being in an intimate relationship with Hakan in those 4 months, she never had the slightest of idea that he was planning and plotting the entire time. She thought that they both were having some good time together, but he was using her for his own benefits.
They both sat there in silence for some time when Halay spoke...
"What if he bothers you again? I know Hakan. He is ridiculously stubborn. He won't let this go easily Filiz."
Filiz took a deep breath and said
"I'll see whenever he returns...."
*************
2 weeks passed away normally.
Filiz was soon going to enter her eight month of pregnancy.
But she still looked like six months pregnant. Halay told her how Filiz was so lucky to be naturally lean that even being in the final months of pregnancy, she looked so fit.
She and Emir just talked four times in these two weeks. He used to ask her about her health.....and that's it.
They both never talked about anything else. The conversations were precise. They both knew things were far away than fine between them.
It was Saturday night and Filiz was invited to her colleague's birthday party.
She wore an off shoulder dress and left her hair in loose curls.
The party was arranged during evening timings so she reached there at 6pm. Chatting with her friends and colleagues had a nice influence on her. She enjoyed herself.
At 9pm, she bid goodbye to her friend and left for home.
While walking to her way home, she felt as if someone was following her.
She turned around to see no one there. She kept walking considering it was only in her head.
On her way home she had to pass a dark street. It was quite vacant but she decided to take it since it was a short cut to home.
She was walking till she felt a strong arm gripping her and dragging her towards an empty abandoned building. The man was wearing a black hoodie, she couldn't see his face. She tried to scream for help but there was no one nearby to come to her rescue. She scratched his hand with her nails, she heard him hiss for a second but he continued dragging her with him.
She realized it was a horrible decision to walk by this street alone this time.
The man took her inside that vacant building and pinned her against a wall. Filiz was screaming but he covered her mouth with his hand.
She soon saw his face as he stood in front of her now...
It was Hakan.
Her eyes widened.
She stopped screaming.
Hakan attacked her like this?
He was passing a creepy smile to her.
"How is my beautiful flower doing?"
He said as he removed his hand from her mouth and caressed her face.
"My..My....you look even sexier now..."
He said eyeing her lustfully.
"Get away from me..." she tried to push him away but he pinned both of her hands above her head.
"Not so fast my wild cat. Your boyfriend attacked me when I wasn't prepared for a fight. Don't think that I will go easy on you if you try to act smartly with me.....don't forget that we are alone here. No one would come to help you....." he said gripping her wrists tightly.
Filiz realized he was right. She had to handle this situation carefully.
"What do you want?"
"You know it very well babe...."
"Shut up..."
"This wouldn't have been happening if you had let me fuck you 4 months back...no one could have ever known about our secret gateway together.... you didn't even had to worry about getting pregnant with my child since you were already having one....we could have done it raw and have much fun...we both would have moved on happily in our lives but you had to take the difficult way.."
His one hand was rubbing her cheek.
"You are disgusting Hakan. I thought.....I thought......" she never had an idea that Hakan had this pathetic side to him.
"What? That I wanted to marry you because I was crazily in love with you?"
He said while laughing at her.
"You were quite easy to seduce Filiz...but you didn't let me fuck you. I had to be so patient with you. I would have fucked you on the kitchen floor the first time I saw you ,but you were lucky that you were my mom's guest so I couldn't force you. I put the marriage proposal forward because my mom always wanted me to marry a goody two shoes who would stay home and fulfill all wife duties. You were the perfect option, even if you came with an extra child. But Alas!!!! You rejected my offer. We both could have lived a happy life together....."
His hand started caressing her bare thigh. She flinched at his touch.
"Not even in your dreams Hakan Yildirim....." she tried to break her hands free of his grip but in vain.
"You know...I will have you one day....but with your permission...." he said as he started kissing her neck.
"That day would never come...."
"I missed your body my love...so delicious..." he continued kissing her neck, sucking her flesh.
"S...st..stoppp...." his lips were on her neck and his hand was rubbing on her thigh.
He left her hands and pulled her closer holding fistfuls of her hair.
"You can never get away from me easily Filiz, not before I get what I want. I want my reward for being extra patient towards you......and next time you would be extra careful before letting a man kiss you at a club...."
He said and captured her lips in a forced kiss.
She tried to hit him on the chest but he didn't move an inch. He was kissing her like a hungry animal.
She felt his other hand pulling her dress down and with a quick movement he unhooked her bra.
He broke the kiss and again pushed her back to the wall..
He held her by waist and took her one nipple in his mouth...
"Leave me... pleaseeee..."
She closed her eyes, bitting her lips.
His teeth were assaulting her englarged nipples and bitting the flesh of her sensitive breasts.
"Mhhmmmm my beautiful baby is lactating....." he said licking the liquid off her nipples.
"So delicious.." he said sucking on her nipples.
Filiz was disgusted at him.
He wrapped her one leg around his waist as he looked into her eyes...
"Just wait for the day Hakan Yildirim will claim you my beautiful flower..."
He held her by neck this time and enveloped her lips in another rough kiss.
He left her after sometime.
He looked at her disheveled state.
She was standing by the wall, breathing hard, trying her best not to fall down, tears were flowing down her beautiful eyes.
He gave her a devilish smirk as if he was satisfied to watch her like this.
He held her jaw in his hand harshly..
She hissed in pain..
"This is the price you have to pay for betraying me Filiz. You told me your boyfriend left you after getting you pregnant but that was a lie haan. You used me for the time being to pleasure yourself. You made up those stories. Now I will make you pay for your lies everytime you see me. I will make you a crying mess Filiz...you will remember Hakan Yildirim all your life..."
Filiz felt fear gripping every inch of her body at his wicked intentions. That man planned to destroy her life.
"I never lied to you.... please leave me..." she tried to get free herself from his grip.
"See you are lying again. You little slut. You got knocked up by a man and then let another one suck your tits & pussy...... you're such a slut..."
"Shut up Hakan...I told you I never lied to you. Emir and I had a misunderstanding....."
She was cut short as she felt his feelings his hands on her breasts.
He held her breasts, squeezed them and pricked her nipples.
"I don't give a damn about you or your boyfriend. You know Filiz how easy it is for me to fuck you right now, right here? No one would come to save you from me, after fucking you to my complete satisfaction I could just leave you here in this building alone on your own OR how easy it is for me to kidnap you, take you far away from city, chain you up to my bed and fuck you mercilessly till you lose your sanity? It will probably take days for people to find you....but I won't do this. That won't be any fun.You will submit to me willingly one day my love...
Fix your dress and go to your home baby....we will meet again...soon..."
Filiz was horrified by his claim and the situation she was in. He was right no one would come to help her if he forced himself on her right now.
She quickly fixed herself and rushed out of the building. Thankfully he didn't follow her back.
She kept walking as fast as she could.
She saw a cab nearby and took it.
After reaching back home, she let out a sigh of relief.
She underestimated Hakan. Emir and Halay were right that he won't let it go easily.
She was sitting on her bed when she heard her cell phone ringing...
It was Emir.
She picked it up reluctantly.
"How are you?" his voice was gentle.
"Ye..yeah...fine....." but hers was tensed enough to let him notice.
"What's wrong Filiz?" he was worried aswell now.
And she told him everything. How Hakan dragged her to the building and threatened her to return back.
There was silence from Emir's side for sometime.
"That's it Filiz. You are coming to live with me for the next two months and that's final.."
It was more like a command. Filiz couldn't refuse.