4 Days Later......
"Can we go to the dog park Mama Fox?"
My heart stutters, but I don't falter, as I keep picking flowers with him.
"If that's what you want Goldfish" I swallow
"There's gonna be a bunch of pretty ones today. The TV said so" He nods happily, adding a sunflower to the bunch.
"Then to see the pretty dogs is where we go" I smile at him
How was I going to pull this off?
After a quick, frantic conversation with Haymitch, he had Venia at my door in an hour. She'd given me a beautiful, but quite large, dark sunhat that covered the entire top half of my face, with big loose curls framing yet hiding the rest away from prying eyes. I listen to her prattle on about Effie's new ventures into producing, her own boutique doing well too, as she dressed us. Lucas was openly enthralled with her light purple hued skin while Venia styled his hair artfully, like Finnick's, while we got ready.
Lucas had let her know that he'd always wanted teeth just like mine. To my horror and fascination, she had a solution to this because of my time in the Hunger Games.
After the end of the war, footage of me using my teeth in battle had become a craze that made all the kids want some of their own, to protect their family and friends too. Temporary canines were now produced in 3 different sizes they'd seen mine able to expand to on film. A clear solution was brushed inside the tooth cap, then slipped onto the natural canines of the person wearing them. They apparently could last anywhere from 3 hours to a week. One of the hottest trends to ever hit Panem. Capitol kids weren't the only ones wearing them, the districts sold them out for months before the Capitol could even get a shipment out.
"Oh honey, when was the last time you checked your bank account? This is just the beginning of it all. Effie and Haymitch made sure that anything with even hinting towards your likeness, be approved by them and Peeta, in a vote first and foremost. If it's vetoed by 2 than it's not to be brought back to the table for 5 years. You get a percentage of every sale. They didn't have much choice, what with so much free market, and your life being a crucial part of history now"
"No, I get it. It's just weird to see that people actually want them. Mine weren't a choice. At least theirs are"
"They're actually quite pretty on you. The most natural and effervescent I've ever seen. I'd always felt as though they were something that were just supposed to have happened naturally anyway. With you at least. They fit you. In many different ways"
I didn't know how to respond to that so, I just didn't, choosing to silently watching Lucas get fitted for his chompers. Just trying to process and feel normal with Lucas as my ever bright compass.
"Now hold your mouth just like that for ten seconds, ok?" Venia gushed, happily finger combing some wayward strands of his hair.
He enjoyed the pampering and reveled in Venia's gushing over him. Apparently, she'd always wanted to dress Finn and this was just as good. After the ten seconds, Lucas closed his mouth slowly, adjusting his little lips to the new growth within. It takes some getting used to. Once comfortable enough he sits in my lap, face tilted up to mine as he flashes me a wide grin. Ok they look fuckin adorable on him. His henna was still bright on his arms so he looked like a wild cub.
"I'm cool just like you now Momma Fox!" he beamed
"You've always been cool Goldfish" I chuckle, nuzzling my nose against his.
"You two look dazzling! I need a picture for Cinna, stay just like that!"
Lucas wore some light blue shorts and a deep green t shirt with a school of goldfish painted in detail across the front, open toed sandals on his little pedicured toes. I wore a simple orange dress that faded into different shades of the color, dandelions and sunflowers scattered across the fabric. It was cut a little low in the front for my taste but the sapphire-gold necklace complemented the look nicely. I put some black ankle booties, from the arsenal she'd brought, on my feet that were actually pretty comfortable to walk in. After Venia snaps a few shots, she gives a bubbly farewell of hugs and kisses before taking her leave.
"A car outside is gonna take us to the park. We can walk around when we get there ok?"
"Okie dokie"
***
When we made it to the park, I couldn't help the way my heart pounded with anxiety in my chest. I hadn't been around this many people in a very long time. Even in 12 I was given a respectful berth of space, never overcrowded.
I could do this for Lucas though. I just really hope no one recognizes me because I could not handle being mobbed. Venia did an excellent job though, so we should be fine. We walked hand in hand through the grass, looking for something to nibble on while we waited for the show dogs to come through.
After securing some chicken kabobs and a strawberry cream crêpe, we made our way over to the sectioned off area for the show dogs to come out and do their tricks. The crowd was beginning to squeeze in a bit tighter, making me scoop Lucas up into the crook of my right arm, up securely onto my hip. I needed to keep him safe and my emotions in control. He was my anchor.
The cheers begin to raise as the dogs come out one by one, each a different breed, more beautiful and exotic than the last. Some were bred with other species of Capitol creatures, some could fly, some breathing puffs of fire. Lucas is in awe, as he cheers and screams in perfect time with the performing pooches. Some were actually pretty impressive. I'd managed to snag a cookie stick and lemonade from a passing vendor cart, to keep him happy and hydrated, earning a toothy grin as he chomped away happily.
When they call for a volunteer, I can see Lucas practically bursting at the seams. So despite my terror, I grab him by his little waist, and shoot him a wicked grin before launching him high into the air above my head.
He shouts 'me' as loud as he can, with all three tosses, grabbing the attention and admiration of all the little ones around us. I try to ignore the goosebumps that break out over my skin at the dozens of eyes that are now watching us with humor.
"Well alright, looks like we've got our volunteer! The little tiger over there in the blue, come on over here!"
I immediately pick him up, placing him on the other side of the small barricade and pat his back.
"Give em a good show Goldfish" I smile
It's a struggle fighting the fear I have of him being so surrounded by semi-wild animals and Capitol residents. My distrust may always be there I suppose. They let him introduce himself and for the first time I truly see Finnick in him. They may have well shrunk him down and made him bite-sized. Lucas was all charming flashes of teeth, just a touch of the fangs exposed when he was being coy or telling a cute little quip. Lucas is on stage for over 10 minutes, having stole the show, being a better MC for the event explaining and exciting the crowd about the new safe Capitol show dog species.
He keeps waving and smiling at me throughout and I happily return each one. Those around me whisper about how much my son must look like his father with his fair skin and bright, twinkling eyes. Not that he was mine or anything, but they couldn't even see my face, just my lips and chin so what the hell did they even know?
As Lucas takes his prize of a stuffed, fire-breathing dog with a dragons tail, the wind picks up and blows my hat right off my head. My fluffed-up curls are whipping around my face so wildly I can hardly see until it dies down again. When I push my hair from my face, bending down to put my arms around Lucas, I hear the frantic whispers. Within seconds it's a dull roar and I realize they're all chanting my name, it's rippling through the crowd as they begin to close in tightly around me.
"Oh wow it is you!"
"The Mockingjay!"
"So this is where you've been! You and Peeta had the baby!"
"He looks just like you both! Mockingjay could I get a picture!"
I'm frozen solid as my eyes stay locked on Lucas' face unable to do anything. His hands cup my cheeks, just as he did when he discovered the torture chamber, and he eyes me as if he can see my ravaged spirit laid bare. This time he doesn't retreat. His lips pull back from his teeth and the canines make him look feral, as his eyes narrow and he turns on the balls of his little feet to face the gathering crowd. His little hands are hooked as if he had sharp claws as he snarls at everyone attempting to get close. My Gentle Goldfish has become a Pissed Piranha.
"Go away!" he hisses, snapping his teeth angrily at them, unafraid of what they think of him. He only wants to scare them away from me and I'm totally immobile, incapable of helping him. "You're scaring her! Leave us alone!"
I'm so hurt that Lucas is the only strength I have right now, protecting me from demons that only I can see as memories and nightmares make their way to the real world. I begin to hyperventilate, my right hand weakly reaching out towards Lucas to try and gather the strength I needed to protect him from the gathering monsters.
I must protect him.
Get up.
GET UP!
"And just what is this blatant disregard for the law and simple etiquette! Disperse you animals!", a high trilling voice barks at the crowd that begins to quickly disperse, fleeing the wrath of the speaker. "To have our precious Victor here and you all disrespect the Decree of Protection! I shall have anyone who took a picture arrested!"
"Auntie Effie!" Lucas cheers dashing forward.
Effie?
I slowly lift my head to see that Effie is dashing towards me, with a speed that should not be possible in those 4-inch cerulean heels. Her hands are on my shoulders the moment she's within reach, pulling and directing me back to my feet, before directing me over to a large tent. It's a closed off but large set up that says 'Trinket Tv' on the side in beautiful calligraphy letters.
"I'm sorry about that dear. I hadn't known you were coming, just Peeta and that scoundrel Haymitch, who could've warned me. He's not the only one who's grown fond of you two", she beams proudly.
Her golden locks are pinned up in an elegant bun with a long, thick tendril over her shoulder that curls down to her breast, littered with tiny gold butterflies that made it seem as though they were flying in and out of it. The black sharp jersey pants suit was really working for her. She pats my cheeks and it takes a few moments before I can get my heart out of my ears to pull her into me for a warm hug. She's clearly startled by my newfound open display of affection, but returns my hug with a happy giggle.
"What's all this?" I ask waving my hands around in the air.
"I'm now in charge of the main Capitol broadcast network. There is never to be any type of pictures or videos taken of Victors or their families because of the Victors Protection Act. It's punishable with jail time. No one wants to risk it just to snap a photo of a Victor. You all deserve some privacy for once"
"That's nice. Thank you"
"Peeta was the catalyst for this. He proposed the idea and lead the voting process when it was brought to the floor. The country agrees that you've all earned the right to keep to yourselves. You owe us not a second more of yourselves if you so choose it"
My heart sang for Peeta. He understood my need for privacy deeper than I believed, having seen many of my meltdowns when being crowded ever since the games. To able to be as reclusive as I so choose with little to no need to engage with anyone outside of other Victors...was a dream life. One I should have known he would do everything in his power to make sure I had. The world was Peeta's dough and he would shape it however he needed to, to make me happy. I really love him. I can think of nothing I want more than to spend the rest of my life at his side.
"Uncle Bee!" Lucas chirps, darting further into the tent over to some computer screens, thankfully distracting me from my dangerous thoughts.
When my eyes land on him, I can't stifle my excitement as I throw myself into his arms, careful not to knock him over, since his right hand rests on a cane with a mockingjay handle. His glasses are still overly round but they fit his face properly so they sit comfortably on his nose. He's in a knit charcoal gray t-shirt and black slacks.
"I missed you Beetee!" I grin down at him as he chuckles heartily.
"It is quite the wonder to see you in person again. It's been too long"
"Way too long! How are you lately?"
"Much better than I've been in a long time. I'll be staying with the rest of you all as of today. It wouldn't be for another week because of all my work inside headquarters, but Ophelius rushed them a little after your incident last week" he smirked
"Ah, breaking things when I became the mutt again" I nod, understanding why Aurelius would want me surrounded by people I loved and trusted as much as possible.
Lucas tugs on my hand and I look down at him with a smile, letting him pull me down so I'm on bended knee, holding his eyes.
"You know...in school, we learned there are good mutts and bad mutts. Jabberjays are bad mutts. They only hurt you. They scream and scream to make everything bad all you hear. Mockingjays are good mutts. They sing instead of screaming. They aren't natural but they make the forest even prettier when they sing. Not all mutts are bad" he explains seriously. It snatches the air from my lungs as tears build in my eyes. "Mockingjays come from the bad birds. But, they're the best birds. The prettiest birds. Just like you Momma Fox"
I let the tears fall down my cheeks, pulling Lucas to my chest in a crushing hug, as I let the waves of his words of love wash the darkness away. Every inch of me that hated myself for being a Capitol mutt, was weeping with absolution and release. I can't believe it took the words of a vibrant and naïve 5-year old, that'd never had to live the harsh realities his parents had, to see the goodness in the darkest parts of me.
"I love you Lucas. So much I'll pop" I sob happily as he rubs his little hands up and down my back soothingly.
"Enough to go to our waterfall and get some fish? I can use my sharp teeth to catch some this time!" he tries playfully.
"Of course. I'll only use my nails to cut the fish too, no knives" I laugh, pulling back to hold his bright eyes.
"Can papa come this time?"
"Yeah he can come this time" I chuckle with a nod "He has to scale the wall by himself though. I'm not carrying him on my back"
"That's my spot" Lucas nods
"Yup. Now let's get back home to tell Mama and Papa how you ran the show today. Auntie Effie-" I snort at this, to which she whacks me on the back of the head with her hand fan. "And Uncle Bee will be back for dinner. There're no events tonight so we can have a big seafood dinner if you want to"
"Family dinner with everybody?" he exclaims looking between the three of us, as if I just promised him the moon.
I tilt my head up to Effie and Beetee, both of which are beaming at me with happy nods.
"The whole family Goldfish" I grin as he throws himself back into my arms with a happy whoop.
Dinner was bound to be a fun family affair!