As everyone was talking amongst themselves about the previous viewing, Kiran was typing into the laptop while humming "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Tom Rhodes as thoughts and possible outcomes were forming in his head about the possibilities of what might happen on the upcoming campaign for Modern Warfare III.
However, his thoughts came to a stop as the next universe popped out, which made Kiran laugh like a maniac when he saw the result," Oh God, this is gonna be hilarious!"
Kiran then shouted from the projection booth and waved his hands to get their attention," All right! We're gonna start again, guys! And this time - before you ask, by the way - we're gonna be watching something that is a mix of funny and stupidly hilarious!"
Everyone then began to whisper to each other again as Stelle raised her hand," What's it about?"
"What happens when you guys do when you're not busy killing each other,"Kiran said with a smile as everyone's eyes widened - they were killing each other in that world? And before they could ask, Kiran snapped his fingers," Oh that reminds me - I'm about to bring another batch of guests who'll be joining us for the viewing!"
Kiran then clapped his hands as a bright light engulfed the room, which made everyone block their eyes from the blinding light. However, a shout from the audience was heard," MY EYES!!!"
The light then faded as a new set of voices were heard in the room.
"Ow! Get off me, Lynette!"
"Sorry, Lyney..."
"Ugh... Where are we...? NEUVIE, WHERE ARE WE?!"A bratty scream was heard as a sigh was also heard among the new arrivals.
"Lady Focalors, please remain calm..."
As the people of Fontaine were talking amongst themselves, Kiran appeared before them, which made Furina jump on Neuvillette's arms with shock.
"Yes, hi, it's me. My name is Kiran - and I'm the one who brought y'all here."
Clorinde took a look at Kiran before pointing her weapon at Kiran's face, who was eerily calm about a weapon pointed at him," Talk. Where are we?"
"Just my humble abode - the Multiverse Theater. As for why I brought you here, well... Let's just say I decided to bring you all to watch here to watch the multiverse."Kiran replied as the Fontaine cast all shared looks, wondering if what Kiran says is true.
"How do we know you are telling the truth?"Wriothesley asked, crossing his arms as Kiran snapped his fingers and revealed the entire audience to them.
"This enough proof?"
Wriothesley tried to find the words but just kept his mouth shut. Charlotte's eyes dart around the audience before her eyes landed on Aether and Paimon as she waved at them," Traveler! Paimon!"
"It's Charlotte!"Paimon waved back as Furina's eyes also landed on Aether.
"...Oh. It's you."She said.
Before tensions could rise, Kiran immediately waved for them to look at him," Okay! All of you, to your seats now! We're about to start!"
[The intro of Neighborhood Chronicles began to play before the title of the episode was revealed, "CABLE CALAMITY", which showed Itto sitting in front of a TV with a plug and a cord on each hand]
"Cable Calamity? Something tells me that Oni's gonna be up to no good here..."Kujou Sara muttered when she saw Itto's silhouette on the screen.
"Not just him, but him and the rest of the boys are gonna be stirring trouble here."Kiran said as everyone looked at him, wondering what he meant," Just watch and you'll find out..."
Caelus then asked," Let me take a guess, we're gonna steal from someone but we're gonna do it with extremely weird methods?"
Kiran bit his lip and chose not to answer....
[The scene then begins in the Neighborhood, located in [CLASSIFIED], at the beginning of the day as "Morning Mood" can be heard in the background before the chaos sets in]
Blade sighed and closed his eyes, wondering if there'll be a time where he could relish such peace...
[A convoy of buses stops at the road as the Unknown God, in a business suit, stepped out of the vehicle before taking a look at her pocket watch]
Aether's eyes darkened at the sight of the Unknown God on the screen, a menacing aura surrounding the Traveler that would probably even make the Harbingers even back away in fear. Stelle eyed the Unknown God with a hint of curiosity," Is that the same God that Dad was talking about? The one that took Aunt Lumine...?"
"Yeah, I think so..."Caelus said with a small sigh, as he remembered what Aether told them regarding Lumine.
Stelle sighed sadly," Aunt Lumine... Where are you...?"
[She looked at the time as the clock struck at exactly 6:00 AM. "William Tell Overture" began to play as lights from both the boys and girls' mansion turned on at the same time]
Amber:I'll race you there!
Sushang:Let's go! Let's go!
Eula:Let's move it!
Layla:Wait for me!
Arlan:Let's go!
Yanqing:Come on! Come on!
[The boys and girls exited their mansions as they rushed and boarded the buses with the convoy leaving the Neighborhood afterwards. FLASH FORWARD to the end of the day as the girls' bus returned... The girls were then seen marching back to their mansion in defeat with defeated looks... But Hu Tao was singing though...]
Hu Tao:Silly-churl, billy-churl~ Come on! Sing with me!
Everyone:NO!
[A sandal was thrown at her... And somehow, Silverwolf had an axe stuck behind her back]
The girls blinked at what they were seeing. Whatever happened to them, was sure as heck as bad if they marched home like that in defeat. Sushang hissed some air before asking," What - uh... What exactly happened...?"
"You girls lost to the boys. That's what."Kiran said with a small wave of his hand as Furina looked back and forth at Kiran and Neuvillette.
"HOW DID I LOSE AGAINST NEUVIE?!"She screeched like a parakeet - she despised the idea of losing - she lost to the Traveler during Lyney's trial and she's still pissed at what happened. But now her losing against Neuvie? UNACCEPTABLE!
"Uh... Is no one gonna talk about the axe behind my back...?"Silverwolf raised a finger, hoping that someone noticed that...
[Their bus then left as the boys' bus returned as "Friday Night" from Yakuza 0 can be heard inside, meaning that the boys are celebrating their victory against the girls.The bus stopped as the boys rushed back inside their mansion and accidentally locked Sampo out]
Sampo:Hey, friends! You locked me out!
[Seeing no one around, Sampo can be heard unzipping his pants as he let out an evil chuckle]
"Oh Aeons, NO!"Asta shouted and covered her eyes in disgust at what the shady businessman was doing on the screen as half of the audience also did the same and covered their eyes in disgust.
"We don't need to see that..."Seele said with a small hiss of disgust as Sampo chuckled nervously.... Svarog glared at him whilst covering Clara's eyes from the explicit activity Sampo was doing.
Itto:HERE COMES THE ONE AND ONI - !
[Itto then slipped on a bottle as multiple and oddly too many crashing sounds were heard]
itto:DOC!
Baizhu:NO!
[The crashing sounds stopped. Itto then respawned in the living room, as he jumped on the couch and turned on the TV.... Only to be met with static]
Itto:Shit.
[Itto then taps his head twice as a flashback of him kicking a fireworks machine which caused it to shoot down a satellite. He then opens the cabinet and sees the same satellite there...]
Kiran then pauses the viewing for the moment as he looked at the audience," All right, what you guys are about to see next is... Kind of disturbing and disgusting. And which is why I will do this."
Kiran snapped his fingers as the children of their audience had their sights blocked with an eye mask that cannot be removed until Kiran snaps his fingers again," Don't worry. I'll only remove it after a few minutes"
The rest of the audience stared at each other in concern at what Kiran meant that the next scene would be weird.
[Inside of Neuvillette's room, Neuvillette places a bottle of red wine on his desk as he grabs his laptop and lays down on his bed with a glass of red wine at hand as a small grin was seen on the Chief Justice's face]
"Ooh! Whatcha' watchin', Neuvie?"Furina asked with a small, smug grin as Neuvillette refused to answer what Focalors wanted to know.
[The camera showed what Neuvillette was watching - a video of Aether leaning by the doorsill while shirtless as he wiggled his eyebrows at someone... Before showing that someone is Kafka, who was laying down on a bed while wearing a lingerie]
Silverwolf spat her soda out at what saw before having a coughing fit before shouting," WHAT THE FU-!"
"Oops."Kafka said with a calm look as she shrugged to herself, not at all bothered by what was shown on screen. The audience had mixed reactions at what they were seeing - the boys were staring at the screen, unaware that their noses were bleeding and that there's something going on in their pants.
The girls stared in silence before looking back and forth at Kafka and the screen as one thought came into their minds and they're pretty sure that it is what they think it is...
"Could she be...?"Ei asked dangerously, also having the same thoughts as Yae Miko, who nodded slowly.
"Most likely - but we don't exactly have enough proof yet..."Eula said, her eyes darkening as she cracked her knuckles. Maybe they'd have a small word with the Stellaron Hunter once the viewing is over...
[Meanwhile, inside of Luka's room as the boxer was laughing to himself before cracking his knuckles and typing in his computer in the Rule 34 website with its motto "If it exists, there IS porn of it" as he typed in 'natasha_(honkai_star_rail)' before laughing]
Luka:Oh yeah! Rule 34, baby!
The boys laughed to themselves as they all shared a knowing look and nodded to themselves, with most of them patting Luka's back at what he was doing. Natasha, however, had a confused look as she raised her hand only for Silverwolf to stop her.
"Don't ask - you're going to regret it."The hacker said with a small shiver as a memory of her searching herself one time in Rule 34 scarred the hell out of her...
[It then showed Itto inside of his room as he typed the words 'good shit to watch' in MoOgle before showing a trailer for a series called Game of Bones]
Narrator:Tomorrow for one night only on HOBO, the thrilling season finale of the highest rated series on television... Game of Bones.
"Oh that's actually hilarious."Welt said with a small eye roll at the idea of such a show being highly rated... For a guy like him, he has most likely read and watched Game of Thrones before.
"A TV series about bones?"Zhongli did not understand the idea of the show and was only intrigued with the idea.
[Kaveh was then seen inside of his room, wherein his laptop is connected to a large TV as he typed on his laptop before the TV displayed a hentai comic cover of Nilou]
Kaveh:I'M HAVING AN ERECTION!
Al Haitham:You don't need to shout it...
Nilou paled at what she saw on the screen, her face was deathly white at what she saw as she heard the boys laughing at what they were seeing and from what Kaveh said. Dehya simply patted Nilou's shoulder to comfort her...
[It then showed Venti, who was passed out drunk where his laptop was playing while he was knocked out]
Diluc sighed to himself," Why am I not even surprised?"
Venti only chuckled and shrugged to himself," Ehe~?"
[Back to Itto, who was seen watching the trailer with an amused expression. Outside, Sampo was seen in the toolshed watching South Park as he unzipped his pants and looked at the camera]
Sampo:And that is how you do that.
"TMI... TMI..."Yoimiya said, her face green in disgust from what she was seeing. Same goes to the girls who were also having the same thoughts as they were all praying that this would be all over soon...
"Ew... Gross, man."Luka said, giving Sampo a side-eye.
[Aether and Caelus, however, were just seen playing Warzone 2.0 on their laptops with Aether playing as Captain Price in the "High Rise" skin and Caelus playing as Gaz in the "Takedown" skin]
"Oh, uh, that's actually pretty tame - I guess..."Aether said, being glad that he's not also searching for hentai.
"Yeah, thankfully..."Caelus said with a nod, also glad that he and his dad are not reading or watching hentai as the audience thought, ' Like father, like son...'
[And Zhongli was seen browsing for antique items and Ayato was doing some reading in Wattpad while drinking some wine. Wriothesley was also seen watching a video about tea]
Siegwinnie pouted, why does he always have to drink tea and never what she makes?!
[Albedo can be seen browsing for plants as it then showed Itto still watching the trailer and this time, he's gritting his teeth. It then showed Gepard inside of his room watching a video about the upcoming Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name. Baizhu can be seen inside of the medical ward watching something as his hand goes to his pants as the sound of a zipper can be heard]
Hu Tao didn't know to laugh or be disturbed when she saw that Baizhu was pleasuring himself onscreen as Changsheng hissed," Thank Celestia I'm not awake when he does something like that..."
[Back to Itto, still watching the trailer]
Narrator:Thrills, chills and bones. Be there tomorrow at 7:00 PM, or you're a communist.
[Itto was now laughing to himself as the scene now showed the building of the Network Communications Hub as a man can be seen standing in front of multiple monitors]
???:Dude, do you hear me? Destroy the internet!
Those were three words that Silverwolf always dreaded to hear - that and her multiple accounts being frozen by the IPC.
"Destroy the internet?! NO!!!!"Stelle screamed when she heard those words. You know what, maybe the people of this generation can't live without the internet - unlike the old generation who knows how to live without it.
???:It's gotten real bad! We have to start over!
[The man nods]
???:Sure... Although my vision is augmented.
[It showed the man's perspective where his vision looked like it was blurry as fuck. The man was about to press a button before changing his mind and pressing the second button, which said, DISABLE ONLY THE BOYS' MANSION INTERNET]
Stelle then laughed and pointed at her brother as she was slapping her leg," Oh man! Sucks to be you guys!"
The boys all groaned as they realized that it's their turn to feel defeated with an even worse outcome - THE COMPLETE DISABLEMENT OF THEIR INTERNET!
[It then showed the boys' internet box blowing up as most of the boys' internet activity was interrupted as they all panicked from the loss of their internet that even made Luka throw his computer out before showing Itto screaming in the air]
Kiran then snapped his fingers as most of the blindfolded children were now allowed to see once again. Clara yawned and rubbed her eyes as she looked at Svarog," Mr. Svarog, what did I miss?"
"Nothing of importance, Clara. It is for your safety."Svarog said - somehow, he was also programmed to protect Clara's innocence at all costs. That means preventing her from seeing what he saw.
"Aw... What did Pitch-Dark Hook the Great miss?!"Hook pouted and stomped her foot on the chair as Luka patted her head.
"Eh... You wouldn't get it, Hook."
[Robert Loggia was seen as he shouted, "EIGHT FUCKING HOURS LATER!", before showing the mansion at 4:00AM in the morning where Itto was seen on the kitchen stirring a pot as Blade came downstairs]
Blade:Itto, what are you doing?
Itto:Making chocolate pudding...
Blade:It's four o' clock in the morning... Why the fuck are you making chocolate pudding?
Itto:Pudding is life now.
[Itto cleared the table of his used materials before putting down some of the pudding on the table and then tossing the pot at Blade afterwards... Itto then proceeded to inhale the pudding as he looked up and shouted before collapsing in the floor]
Itto:HOLY MARY MOTHER OF SHOGUN!
"Honestly.... I would have done the same thing...":Caelus said with a shrug - I mean, what are you gonna do once your internet connection goes down?
"And you're crazy enough to inhale pudding, bro?"Stelle asked with her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised, a teasing look was also in her face.
"Oh come on, you would have done the same thing too."Caelus said, rebuking her point.
[A flashback was shown of an incident known as the Badwater Incident - Itto was seen running away from Natasha, who was shooting her grenade launcher rapidly, before stopping to warn Kaveh]
Itto:BRO, RUN!!!
[Itto turned around as a grenade was about to hit him directly in the face before the flashback ended as it now showed Itto in an unknown plane of existence as he now stood in front of the Aeons]
The audience of Honkai Star Rail were surprised by the Aeons' appearance on the screen as Kafka whistled and she crossed her arms," What's their role here?"
"Think of them as instigators,"Kiran said before diving to a deeper explanation," They basically tell one of the characters what to do that basically drives the plot of each episode."
"So it's a divine intervention, then?"Fu Xuan asked with her arms crossed and Kiran shook his head on both sides of his shoulder and said,
"Maybe, yeah?"
Nanook:Steal the girls' cable...
Lan:Steal the girls' cable...
[Itto could only be staring in silence]
Itto:Oh no, I'm in an obscure Star Trek reference.
Qliphoth:Okay, we'll basically tell him to steal -
[Nous then joins them]
Nous:Oh, are we doing this now? It's 4:00 AM!
[The Aeons argue for a quick moment as Yaoshi cleared her throat]
Yaoshi:Steal the girls cable...
Itto:I don't want to!
Nanook:You'll be able to watch Game of Bones.
[Itto thought about it for a moment...]
Itto:Okay!
[The dream sequence ends with pictures of an onikabuto, a medal, his claymore, and lastly, a nearly naked image of Miss Hina before showing Itto inside of his bedroom]
Gorou shivered when he saw the image of Miss Hina... He wants to grab the nearest weapon and point it under his chest or chin so his embarrassment can finally die as Yae Miko was just laughing at what she saw.
[Itto gets out of his bed and looks behind the blindfolds]
Itto:Well, crap - I'm still in this mansion with no cable or satellite dish... We must somehow acquire the means to watch Game of Bones from the girls. But first, reconnaissance... Then manpower.
Sara blinked at what she just heard," Is the Oni being smart for once...?"
"I think he is..."Shinobu added, surprised to hear what Itto was thinking on the screen," But can't we just let them watch this Game of Bones in our house?"
Kiran then laughed and said," Kuki, you guys hate each other's guts in this world - and besides, Itto's gonna use weird ideas to try and steal your TV cable."
However, Aether just whispered to himself," Can't we just buy the cable instead...?"
[Itto ran out of the mansion and ran into the girls mansion, which was across the street. Seele was seen sharpening her scythe as she noticed Itto entering their grounds]
Seele:Incoming...
[Itto then looks through a window and sees a TV playing a spot for Game of Bones as Itto chuckled... Unaware that the entirety of the girls were behind him and were pointing all of their weapons at him]
"Uh oh..."Heizou said before hissing to himself as if he felt the receiving end of what Itto was gonna feel on the screen.
"Oh well, it was nice knowin' you, Bull Chucker."Paimon said with a sarcastic tone, earning herself a glare from Itto.
"Oh yeah?! Well, I bet no one's gonna miss ya, Flying Lavender Melon!"Itto shouted, making a gesture that looked like he was raising his sleeves and ready for trouble, and before trouble could happen, Itto and Paimon were both pulled by their ears - courtesy of Aether and Paimon.
[However, it then showed Luka and Tartaglia inside of the living room, sitting in front of the TV... While looking at a crude drawing of Seele and Bronya doing the scissor position]
Seele and Bronya's faces turned crimson red at what they say and their first instinct was to grab their weapons and jump on Luka for drawing something so... So shameless. However, before they could do anything, Caelus looked at them and shook his head.
[Itto then respawned inside of the living room]
Tartaglia:Hey, nice going there, comrade!
[Itto turns to face him as the two stare at each other for a few moments... Before Itto flipped him off as the Oni ran off]
Wanderer and Arlecchino laughed at what Itto told Tartaglia to do. Basically, go fuck yourself.
"That was worth every mora!"Arlecchino laughed, hoping that she could wipe her memory and rewatch that clip over and over again for the sake of her humor.
"You and I both..."Wanderer whispered under his breath.
[Itto then barges inside of his room as he sets down a morse code device before tapping multiple times on the device as multiple messages were sent to everyone throughout the house with one clear message: MEET AT THE BASEMENT!]
Sara and Shinobu placed a hand on their chests as they were utterly shocked and horrified at seeing Itto being smart for once in his existence as Arlan then looked concerned and asked," Are we actually gonna go along with his idea...?"
"I don't know, Arlan - But I think we have no choice in this world..."Dan Heng said with a shrug, waving his hand to emphasize his point," If we truly are that desperate, then it seems that this is the only solution then..."
[The scene then showed the basement in the middle of the afternoon as the rest of the boys were gathered underneath the basement, talking amongst themselves]
Yanqing:And so that Jingliu lady was kind of a blood knight! You know, always lookin' for a fight and all that.
Blade:Yes, which is why you should be usually careful around her - especially if you're fighting for your own life against that woman...
Ayato:Anywho, you got any new ideas for tea, Wriothesley?
Wriothesley:Not yet, Commissioner. Although I've yet to try this boba tea of your's...
Ayato:Oh, trust me - you will not regret it.
[Itto enters the basement in a general's uniform]
Itto:Ten-hut! All right, guys! Do you know why we are here?
Yanqing:Are you guys still mad about the internet?
[A rock was thrown at Yanqing's face. Blade looked down at him as he casually sipped from his wine glass]
"Oh come on! What does everyone have against me?!"Yanqing asked - come to think of it, he's been everyone's punching bag throughout the entire XIanzhou Luofu quests and Dan Heng, Blade, Jingliu, Kafka, and even fucking Caelus kicked his ass well and good during those quests.
"I don't know."Kiran said with a shrug.
Itto:No! You are wrong! We can live without the internet! We are men, after all! We have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion -
[The boys look uninterested at Itto's rant. Dan Heng leans behind his chair and looks at Xiao]
Dan Heng:Are you making any sense as to what he's saying?
Xiao:Forget it, he's on a roll.
Itto:This world was built on one thing before the internet - Cable TV! I have devised a foolproof plan to steal the girls' cable!
[Itto grabs the board and rolled and it accidentally showed a battle plan for an invasion called "BAIZHU's SECRET BATTLE PLAN", which shows of a plan of Liyue's armies marching into Mondstadt]
Jean's eyes widened before looking at Ningguang for elaboration as to what she's seeing.
"Care to elaborate what we're seeing, Lady Ningguang?"Jean asked dangerously as she was ready to defend Mondstadt from any and all threats, especially if it's from a neighboring nation.
"I know nothing of this..."Ningguang breathed out and closed her eyes.
Diluc:What?
[Diluc turned to face Baizhu, who marched out of the basement. The sound of a car starting was heard, followed by screeching tires. Itto then flipped the board again, this time showing the 'foolproof' plan]
Itto:Ta-da! Here's the plan!
[The plan was called "OPERATION: STEAL THE GIRLS' CABLE AND GET AWAY WITH IT!", showcasing Itto's plan to steal the cable and watch Game of Bones]
Luka:Game of Bones? Yeah - I heard that show has nudity! I mean, hardcore writing...
[The boys suddenly looked interested]
Itto:Nudity, violence, skeletons, swords, dragons and tits! And you're damn right! It's the greatest TV show there is...
[The boys grinned at what they were hearing. Even Zhongli, Diluc, Xiao, Kazuha, Al Haitham, Blade, Jing Yuan, Welt, Wanderer, and FUCKING Neuvillette were grinning at the idea]
"Oh Archons, they're all perverts..."Eula said, her face crimson red in disgust. Same goes to the other women who also looked disturbed with how the boys seemed to like what they were hearing on screen.
Furina looked at Neuvillette with a smug grin," Et tu, Neuvie?"
"...No comment, Lady Focalors..."
Itto:And the season finale is in two hours!
[Kaveh stood up]
Kaveh:Well, I don't know about you all - but I'm fixing to get some cable.
[Everyone stood up and agreed - they're all hands on deck as they rushed out of the room... Everyone except Aether and Caelus, who were still seated on their chairs, and Venti, who was collapsed on the table from all the drinking]
Caelus:Should we...?
Aether:No - but I have a plan of my own...
The girls of Genshin Impact and Honkai Star Rail were all relieved that Aether and Caelus were not like the other boys with their questionable sexual behaviors...
[Aether whispers something to Caelus as the Trailblazer was nodding at what Aether was telling him. The scene then showed Itto and the boys gathered around a table which serves as a layout for their battle plan as Itto looked at Bennett. Bennett nodded and pulled out a cutter and some wires as he rushed out of the house and tried to cross the street...]
"Go, brother Bennett -!"Klee shouted, and it was at this moment that she knew her joy was short-lived for what was shown next...
[Only for Bennett to be run over by a car... And struck by lightning. Twice]
Klee's smile then disappeared in an instant when she saw what happened to Bennett before frowning and saying," Oh..."
"Yeah... I knew that was gonna happen..."Bennett sighed as he facepalmed in annoyance... Razor patted the poor adventurer's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him as a muffled 'Thanks' was heard.
[Bennett was then seen in the medical ward, his entire body was covered in cast. Itto growled as he looked at Baizhu and gestured him to move it - which made the doctor pull out his bonesaw with an evil grin. Baizhu managed to make it in the porch of the girls' mansion, where Seele can be seen sharpening her weapon as Baizhu prepared to attack... Only for Seele to pull out an apple]
Seele:Apple?
[Baizhu screamed and retreated back into the boys' mansion, where he was seen now as a cowering mess]
Hu tao was confused for a moment as to why Baizhu retreated because of an apple... She then began to laugh madly as she realized what it meant," Oh, NOW I get it! An apple a day keeps the doctor away!"
Changsheng laughed at her other half's misery before saying," Who would have thought that you'd get scared by such a simple rhyme, old man?"
[Itto shook his head before looking at Sampo as Itto nodded. Seele was still sharpening her weapon as Sampo cleared his throat to get her attention]]
Sampo:Does this smell like chloroform to you?
[Sampo held out a small piece of cloth as Seele sniffed it]
Seele:Yeah.
[She was then knocked out by it]
Seele facepalmed at what she saw on the screen as she muttered something about being stupid to fall for Sampo's tricks.
[Sampo chuckles... Before slipping over a jar with the label HILICHURL URINE written on it as the jar crashed on Sampo]
Sampo:Oh what the -?!
[Sampo was now seen sobbing inside of the shower]
Everyone's faces scrunched in disgust at what happened to Sampo on the screen as those who were seated next to Sampo immediately scootched away from him in disgust as Paimon shook her head," Who keeps a jar of hilichurl urine, anyway? And who would do that?"
Albedo hid a jar he was holding away from prying eyes.
[Itto facepalmed. The next team - Gepard and Zhongli as Gepard cracked his knuckles and Zhongli prepares to summon his shield while "Get Ready for This" can be heard in the background]
Zhongli:準備はできていますか?
Gepard:Я положу свою говядину в их тако.
Everyone shared a confused look - what?
[Inside of the girls' mansion, the girls were seen doing their own respective activities... Gepard then bursts through the door along with Zhongli as the duo then rushed to the kitchen where Amber was about to eat some cereal, only to freeze when she saw Gepard looking at her... She tried to take a bite of her cereal, Gepard punched her and took both her cereal and the TV and rushed back into their mansion in order to watch from the stolen TV... Only to be met with static]
Serval facepalmed at what her brother just did," That's not how you steal cable, Geppie!"
"Please don't encourage him, sis..."Lynx said with a small head shake and a small sigh, which made Gepard blush in embarrassment from hearing what his older sister say to him.
Eula's eyes narrowed at the Silvermane Captain for what he did to Amber on screen... She will avenge Amber by taking her vengeance on Gepard!
[The next time was now Kaeya and Venti. Venti grinned as he grabbed Kaeya before using his Anemo powers as they were sent upwards. The Cavalry Captain was screaming in fear as Venti carried themselves into the cable store as Venti blabbered nonsensically at the store owner before grabbing Kaeya's wallet and placing the payment on the counter. However, it was not eNUFF!... The duo then found themselves back in the living room as Venti was seen passed out drunk again as Kaeya was confused]
Kaeya:What the fuck just happened?
Everyone shook their heads in confusion.
"Dude... How was that not enough...?"Silver Wolf was confused as to how that much money was not enough to afford a cable box - that should have been enough to buy a cable box!
"It's for the sake of this world's humor."Kiran just said with a small chuckle.
[The next scene showed Lyney knocking at the girls' mansion as Amber answers the door]
Amber:Lynette! It's your brother!
[Lynette walks to the door as the siblings begin to talk with each other but their conversation is muted... However, the next scene showed Itto was seen looking out the window as Lyney was thrown inside of the mansion through a window]
Lyney's eyes widened at what he saw," Uh... What did I exactly say to Lynette?"
"You don't wanna know, trust me."Kiran said as he wanted to keep that information classified and make sure that Lyney or Lynette or Freminent never, EVER find out what Lyney said to Lynette.
[Seeing that everyone is down for the count, Itto grabs a homemade rocket launcher and some cable wires before rushing outside and firing the launcher underneath his feet.... Which blew him up]
"Oh. Forget what I said earlier - he's still as dumb as a rock."Shinobu said with a small facepalm when she saw what Itto was trying to do on screen. And this whole plan of his is as dumb as that time he tried to beat a kid in an onikabuto match.
"Dude... Is he seriously trying to do a rocket jump?"Stelle said with an unimpressed look - no one's stupid enough to do a rocket jump in real life, unless they wanna find themselves at the other end of an emergency room.
"Yes, he is..."
[The next scene showed Itto attempting the previous stunt - but this time, he was sent upwards thanks to the rocket launcher. However, he forgot to bring a parachute as he looked at the camera]
Itto:Oh no...!
[Itto then fell from the sky and crashed on the ground]
"Yep... Still as dumb as a rock."Shinobu said, rolling her eyes at Itto's 2nd failed attempt at a rocket jump as the Oni looked at her with the expression of a hurt puppy, making Shinobu cross her arms," You know it's true."
[Itto then made a 3rd and final attempt - doing the same rocket jump stunt but this time, Itto had a parachute on as Itto attempted to stir his direction at the girls' mansion, only for him to be blown by a strong wind and causing him to land in a pit with a sign that says 'MISPROGRAMMED ARTICHOKE DIP' as Itto screamed]
Sucrose's eyes widened as she pushed her glasses back," W-What was that...?"
"One of Dottore's failed experiments that's lying in the middle of nowhere - and I don't even have the guts to ask what's a misprogrammed artichoke dip."Kiran replied as Dottore look intrigued upon the mention of that pit being a failed experiment of his.
"Hm... Interesting."
[Itto was now seen sitting down in the couch with a cast in his arm as Kaveh was looking through a plan he worked on]
Kaveh:This could work...
[All of the boys look at his plan - setting up a portable waypoint in the girls' mansion and connecting their cable to the boys' TV]
As everyone analyzed Kaveh's plan on screen, Silverwolf decided to say something," That looks like it could actually work - but I see a potential flaw in this plan of your's."
"And that is...?"Kaveh asked with a brow raised, not seeing what's wrong with his plan.
"Since you're using a portable waypoint, it could be used by us,"Silverwolf said as Kaveh's shoulders dropped upon hearing what the flaw was," If in the event we want something, we could simply just teleport to your mansion and take it."
"Oh..."Kaveh said and looked down.
[Itto looks at the clock and sees that it's nearly 7:00 PM]
Itto:Dear Archons...
[Itto looks at Kaveh and gives him the thumbs up. Kaveh then rushed to the girls' mansion with a tool box at hand as Itto was watching Kaveh make a final attempt to steal their cable. Kaveh finds the cable's wires as he tosses his tool box and got to work immediately with setting up a portable waypoint before pulling out a pair of cutters as he cut the wires of the cable as the girls lost access to their cable]
Itto was at the edge of his seat, hoping that this could be it.
[As the boys sit and wait in front of the TV for any cable, the clock finally struck at 7:00 PM in the evening as Kaveh was seen finishing the set-up on the portable waypoint. He then activated both waypoints as the boys' TV finally had access to the cable as all of their faces contorted into shock. Tartaglia got out of his seat and slowly walked into the TV, as if he was not believing what he is seeing as the logo of HOBO showed up]
Itto then screamed and cheered in delight before grabbing Kaveh into an embrace as he kissed the architect's cheek," THANK YOU, KAVEH, MY MAIN MAN! YOU'RE A LIFESAVER....!"
Kaveh's face turned crimson red as Al Haitham could only chuckle to himself.
[Kaveh stepped back to admire his handiwork... Before laying his eyes on the kitchen window and seeing Yae Miko about to take a bite of some taiyaki before seeing Kaveh outside of the window]
Kaveh:Uh oh...
[Kaveh then ran for his dear life as Yae Miko, in her fox form, tried to chase down Kaveh back to the mansion. He turned back and saw a ferocious look in her face, which made Kaveh's eyes bulge out at what he's seeing as he ran faster. Before Yae Miko could even grab him, she was suddenly drenched in something... Nasty...]
Miko's eyes widened as her fox ears perked up at what she saw as Ei and Yoimiya took one good look at her as the two scooched away from her before Miko realized what happened to her counterpart as her eyes began to twitch...
[Sampo was seen holding onto her back, still drenched in hilichurl urine as he then said]
Sampo:Surprise!
[Miko shook off Sampo before running back at the mansion while howling in disgust]
Kaveh breathed in relief - glad that Sampo saved his life from that scary fox lady...
[The scene now showed the boys getting ready to watch Game of Bones with excited looks... Before showing March accidentally sitting on the remote of the cable TV (which basically is also the remote of the boys' stolen TV), as the channel then switched to a TV show called 'Oi! Fuck You! Friendship is Magic!' as all of the boys were immediately shocked]
Blade:...What the hell...?
Sampo:NO!!!
Neuvillette:What a disappointment...
[Itto's mouth hung open as most of the boys left the room except for Luka, who was enjoying what he is seeing]
itto:NO! NO!!! PONIES, THIS WAS MY DAY! I WANTED BONE BATTLES, BONE TITS, BONE BONING!!!
[Luka then looked at the screen before winking as the episode ends]
Everyone, mostly the girls, was dying of laughter from the boys' humiliating defeat on screen as Itto was now sobbing to himself at his embarrassing defeat... Heizou patted his shoulder in an attempt to comfort the sobbing Oni....
Aether just facepalmed," Just buy the cable for crying out loud..."
"I think it's too late for that, dad..."Caelus said with a small sigh and his arms were crossed...
[A post-credits scene was showed as the boys' TV was now broken and an infuriated Luka was sitting on the stairs. Sampo can be seen comforting Itto, who was still sobbing...]
Sampo:Oh, don't worry, man - we can always pirate it on the internet.
[However, they were unaware that someone - or rather, something - was watching them before disappearing]
"Hm? And what's this?"Neuvillette asked with an eyebrow raised upon the sight of the 'thing' spying on them.
"Honestly - I got no clue on what's the deal with that 'thing' either..."Kiran said - he may be a god, but he has limitations and cannot know everything.
[The scene then showed Aether and Caelus watching a recording of the season finale of Game of Bones in a private theater as father and son were sharing popcorn with each other as the episode ends. For REAL this time]
As the episode ended, everyone now began to talk among themselves about what they just saw - some were left confused, weirded out or they just simply enjoyed it and chose not to question anything.
Kiran was now seen back on the laptop, rolling a pair of dice in one hand as he began to look for the next universe for them to watch...