Norman seemed to have had a personality transplant since arriving at the guest house. He loved that the house backed onto the woods, and he could watch birds flit about all day whilst he made this weird sound from his throat, the "death rattle" Willa called it.
I think it was perhaps something to do with having much more room to roam, and many more people to fuss and feed him. He only arrived on Tuesday but by Friday, today, he was quite at home. Allie said she had never had a cat before, but she had become quite taken with him, and it was obvious she was feeding him lunch whilst I was at the school, because the last two days I had discovered a little ceramic dish on his mat that magically disappeared and reappeared on its own.
Today was a big day. I was taking Veda to her first day of her new high school. I had hoped some permanent legalities would have been sorted out by now with my guardianship of her, but there had been a hold up. It made me nervous, but my family lawyer was on it, and my temporary petition, was still in place. The hold up seemed to be her grandmother, she had received the notification, and she had been set to sign papers, but then gone to ground. I had been told with her obvious health decline that she wouldn't be an option for Veda anyway, and that this was just stalling the inevitable. Veda needed a safe guardian, and she was currently in a good position here with me. My case was strong. I had her enrolled, her health care covered, and I was financially stable. I couldn't see what could go wrong, but of course it worried me, and it would until she was officially signed off as mine.
"How do I look" she asked, as we shut the front door and walked out onto the porch. She did a little twirl.
I looked her over and nodded "Really good. Like you took your sisters credit card and dropped a thousand dollars on this one outfit"
She looked pleased with herself "Don't hate me Coz you ain't me Snow White. I have one chance to make a good impression. This is the day that everyone makes up their minds on Veda Williams"
She walked over to my car. Her entire outfit was brand new, and she looked like she fell off of some teenager cat walk, with the funky new sneakers, the brand new sleek jeans, the cool jacket with the flicked up collar and the white T. Her hair was immaculately braided, and re styled as she requested. Luckily for me, Allie had been working on her braiding technique, specifically for Vedas hair type, which was thoughtful and sweet. I didn't have to spend a small fortune anymore for every time Veda decided to change up her braids for a fresh style.
"I couldn't possibly be jealous little sister" I inform her "because Snow White as you so love to tease, has a brand new pair of Loui's" I say flicking up my foot and allowing her to drool a little over my heels "and she's feeling herself" I say with a confident smile.
"When do I get some" She asks, pouting.
"Sixteenth birthday little V. I already told you. Now get in the car, we both have a first impression to make with these kids"
We get in and put on our belts, awaiting Willa who rushed out of her house, and then rushed back in again all flustered. Allie met her at the screen door and pulled her in for a kiss before she took off running back to my car, and jumped into the passenger seat. "Sorry. I forgot to kiss my wife for a second there. She would have been cursing me all day long"
"Happy wife happy life" I turn and say, starting the engine.
"And don't forget it when your time comes" Willa replies "she will always be right, and you will always be happier for it"
"I feel like Wren will most certainly be the Allie in this scenario" I think aloud.
Willa and Veda both lean forward and look at me as I start to back up the car "What" I ask, fighting my tight shirt and blazer as I turn awkwardly to see where I'm going. I didn't particularly want to hit and murder Mr Darcy on my first full day of school.
I look forward, put the car in drive and turn to look at them both still smiling at me, with this funny look on their faces. "What" I ask again as I pause.
"You just basically wifed Wren" Veda explained.
"No I didn't" I argue, looking back to the driveway, and hitting the gas.
"It didn't sound wrong" Willa added "I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to a future where I got you as an extra granddaughter. Oooh and great grand babies" Willa mused, and I could see she had run away with her thoughts, which were making her happy.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves" I remind them. "Wren and I are taking things slow" I explain. Inside though, my thoughts are also joining the circus and running away, just like Willa's, and I see it, and want it.
Wren Dawson. My heart fluttered at the thought.
***
Teddy is parked up already, leaning against her big black beast of a car in her work out clothes, with her arms crossed. Josephine is beside her, waving as we pulled in. Olympia must have already gone in.
We exited the car, and walked over to greet them "first day nerves" Teddy asked Veda.
"Nah I'm good" Veda said Confidently.
"She's got me, Mom. It's not like she's walking in alone" Josephine added.
"Meet me at the office when the bell rings" I reminded Veda. "We have to sign something and get you situated, with a schedule"
Willa, Teddy and I all watched them as they excitedly spoke about their day, grabbing their backpacks and offering us a quick wave as they abandoned the embarrassing adults and headed towards the school entrance, with a sea of other teens.
"She will be fine" Teddy reassured me, seeing my nervousness.
"Come on kid" Willa said, nudging me forward "it's your first big day too"
"Hardly a kid Wills" Teddy sniggered, opening back up her car door.
"You all are to me" Willa fired back "and especially you Ted" she said with a wink, as we left Teddy with a little laugh as she got into her car.
***
I had got Veda situated with the other tenth graders and left her to it, she didn't want anyone knowing we were related. Her only rule, "do not talk to me in school hours".
My response "don't misbehave and end up in my office, and I won't"
I didn't see Willa again until the lunch hour, when all the faculty hit the faculty lounge to decompress, and question their decision to teach teenagers.
Willa took the seat beside me, she was the most casual in her sports wear. I envied her being able to wear such comfortable clothing to work. She took off her snapback and placed it on her lap, running her hand through her shorter golden brown hair. "Ive just been in the gym with the eleventh graders" she says letting out a slow deflating breath. "My goodness, they have something to say about everything. Getting them to move is the biggest challenge. It made me realise how much I can't wait to retire. I wanted one last year, but now Allie is home and retired. I kinda wish I was too"
I took a bite from my sandwich and nodded in agreement "I saw a little of it when I past by earlier. To be honest I think you had them moving pretty well, they certainly respect you more than they do the English teacher in three zero four. That poor woman" I say shaking my head "she couldn't control a room of nodding dogs"
Willa took out an apple from her lunch box and bit a piece off "True. So, any kids been sent your way yet" she asks.
I brush the crumbs from my skirt and pat my mouth with the serviette I had brought in my bag "No, but the admin called up ten minutes ago, one of the kids was picked up shoplifting in town an hour ago. He should obviously be at school. The police officer is bringing him back in. I will meet with them, his mother and him"
"Meeting our local cops on day one on the job, talk about throwing you straight into the fire" Willa said amused "Buckle up Millie, High school is a ride"
"I think this next six months will be eye opening" I consider, taking a sip of water from the bottle in my hand.
Willa agreed "It will be, but I've always loved the challenge. I've coached high schoolers most of my life, and they can be great kids to work with. You can make a real difference in a kids life, being a supportive teacher and coach. It's rewarding, hard, but rewarding"
She handed me a little brown bag and smiled "Allie wanted me to make sure you ate a healthy and balanced lunch... so she made this for you... just in case you forgot, or brought a bag of chips only"
I reached up, and a laugh escaped my lips as I took the bag and inspected it's contents. "It's spooky how well she knows me already" I say, checking out the salad and luncheon meat sandwich, and the fresh fruit pot, they were among an array of other lovingly prepared items she knew I liked.
I handed my bag to Willa and she looked inside, a bag of chips and half a peanut butter sandwich. "I gave Veda lunch money" I explain, "and I was in a rush to get out the door"
Willa looked amused and took the paper bag, leaving me with Allie's. "Let Allie make you guys lunch" she suggested "She honestly loves to do that kind of thing. She would be happy to make sure you both ate"
I should be able to feed myself in my twenties, but I couldn't deny I did a poor job at it. I would happily accept Allie's assistance. "Thanks Willa. I wouldn't want to put her out, but if she doesn't mind... then I gladly accept and am super thankful. I will of course pay for the groceries"
"I will text her. She will be happy to hear it. My wife is not happy unless she's busy"
When lunch was nearly over I took a moment to peek in at Veda, she was sat at a table with Josephine and her friends. She looked happy. I sighed and leant against the door, watching her from afar.
"Millie Dawson... as I live and breathe" a voice I hadn't heard in a while, came from the hallway behind me.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and turned around. I looked her up and down, smart and put together as ever, her fair hair pulled up into a neat bun, her smile revealing these little lines around her mouth that were like dimples. I had once run my finger over those lines as I kissed her "Ruth" I acknowledged "it's been a long time"
Beside her was an officer, and a kid I presumed was Joey Lee, the little thief in question.
"Hasn't it" she said, in a taunting voice that woke up memories long forgotten. "It's my first month working for the Portland PD. I won't be making this a habit, popping into school like this. I can't believe you ended up in a high school" she said, pausing and smiling like it amused her to see me here. "I really thought Moira would have her little protege at her side where she could keep an eye on you, at the college" She shook her head, and the question off too, realising that she was being inappropriate and was working "I'm just doing a drive along today with officer Rice" and she gestured to a particularly good looking, masculine appearing, female cop.
"Nice to meet you" I offered, ignoring Ruth's observations, and instead reaching out to shake the officers hand. "My name is Millicent Dawson, please, come to my office. I'm still awaiting Joeys Mom"
I looked to Joey, he was looking at a cell phone in his hand, and completely ignoring us. He was tall and thin, with short brown hair and a scar running through his bottom lip. He had a little goatee, and was dressed in dark denim and a black t shirt, both were crinkled and smelt like body odour.
I reached out and placed my hand over the phone screen, withdrawing it from his hand, to his surprise. "Hey lady that's mine"he said reaching to take it back.
Police officer Rice put her hand out to block his attempt.
"I'm afraid it's confiscated ... until this meeting is over" I explain "Joey I communicate best when someone's listening to me... and looking at me, don't you?! Let's respect everyone's time, and effort, to help you please, and take this to my office"
He looked at me shocked, like nobody had ever been bold enough to take it from him before and then he smiled and looked me up and down in an ogling way "Yes maaaaam"
"Ms Dawson to you" Ruth says firmly. "Let's not add any more misdemeanours to your list mister Lee"
"Please, follow me" I ask, leading the way back to my office.
In the reflection of the windows in the corridor I could see Ruth behind me, watching every step I took with a little smile tugging on her lips.
I didn't think I would ever see Ruth again, perhaps avoided her if truth be told, because despite attempting to be friends, we had always ended up in bed together. It wasn't necessary to keep the 'friendship' going, not when I left to come home. I definitely wasn't expecting her to end up in the city that I did two years later.
***
Millie hadn't answered my last two texts about dropping in and picking her up from the school. I had been so eager to see her, that I hadn't been able to wait for her answer, and I drove down early, parking up in the school car park and waiting for the last hour of school to pass by.
I caught up on my texts whilst I waited, starting with Cam.
W- Hey, I missed travelling back with you yesterday. How was the drive?! Did Camilla settle in okay at her new place?!
I hadn't ended up driving back with Cam this term, because I had to fly out to California briefly, and I hadn't returned in time. I think he would have cancelled on me anyway, he actually went with Camilla's Mom to help drop her off at her new dorm, and unpack, for her first year at the O.
C- Hey Bird, miss you :) yes it went great. She loves the area, and we went out to dinner before her Mom left to go home. I managed to sneak in, so she didn't have to spend her first night alone.
W- That's great :) Can I meet you guys for lunch, on Saturday, or Sunday perhaps?. I will be back tomorrow to train with the team. I feel like I've not had a chance to really get to know her yet, and I really want to 🤞🏻
C- That sounds great 😊 let's do Sunday. I really want you guys to be friends.
I doubted we would be, but I would try for Cameron.
W- Sunday it is. Love you x
C- See you Sunday, Bird.
He didn't say it back. He always said it back. I held my phone at a distance and squinted my eyes, to see if I read that right. I was being petty, it was nothing. As I squinted, a text came through from Olympia.
O- Why are you sat out in the parking lot?! Got it that bad for Ms Dawson have we?
I looked up, and scouted out the windows of the school building for Olympia. I didn't see her.
O- a little higher. She taunted.
I looked again, but still couldn't see her.
W- I don't see you!
O- Maybe get out the Jeep, dummy.
W- Olympia!
I knew it then, before I even stepped out of the Jeep to get a better look, exactly where she was. I opened the door, stepped out and shielded my eyes from the sun as I looked up the brick building slowly to the rooftop.
I saw her white converse hanging over the side, her long tanned legs swinging a little, and then the long curly dark hair, and the cheekiest smile I've ever seen. She waved down. Daisy was sat beside her, both seemed completely relaxed to be four floors high.
I took my phone from my pocket and text her whilst looking up at her.
W- Get down before someone catches you.
She looked at her phone and laughed, her laugh was always a little husky. Daisy read it too. She typed back as I got back into the car.
O- We were just waiting for the bell to ring. Daisy had a free period, and if I didn't kiss her I was about to die.
W- So, you had a free period too, did you Olympia Maria?
There's a small pause as she writes back, then pauses again. I raised an eyebrow at the little dots appearing and disappearing.
O- Not officially no, but it was only Geography. What the hell will I ever need that for?!
I rolled my eyes, my Moms would kill her. She had skipped on the first day back.
W- to figure out what country that Moms have sent you too, when you finally make them snap. Don't skip. Just try and go a whole year O, without Moms having to come up here. You do realise how much stress you cause them right?!
O- I won't skip again.
W- Promise me!!
O- Daisy was already mad at me for skipping. She told me if I skipped again, despite how it made her happy in the moment, she wouldn't kiss me again for a fortnight. I will never skip a lesson again!!! Swear down on the lesbian love gods. 😜✌🏻
W- I hope they've not already called Moms. 🙈
O- The lesbian love gods? 🏳️🌈🧝🏽♀️🧝🏿♀️
W- The school! 🏫👩🏻🏫
O- Please text your wife and tell her not to call if she's had a note on her desk about me!! Please! 🙏🏻
W- My "wife" isn't answering my texts right now.
O- Did she find out you went back to dine between Ava's thighs?! You should have told her weeks ago.
I threw my phone down on the passenger seat "Olympia" I cursed. I didn't need reminding. Ava had been on my mind for a week. I felt so much guilt for the entire situation. Ava was still very much in love with me, so she said, and when she saw me with Millie at the party, she was really angry with me. I hadn't known how to handle the situation. I wasn't expecting to see her so soon. I had hoped I could tell her about Millie and I before she saw it for herself. Now, she was upset, despite what happened between us being a one night thing, it gave her hope that I was open to rekindling with her. I wasn't. I never would. It's only recently, that I've been reflecting on my relationship with Ava, and it has become clear to me, that despite us being each others first love, I hadn't ever truly been in the same place as her. She loved me a lot more intensely than I had. At the time it had felt so devastating to lose her, and the love felt so intense and overwhelming, but since Millie, I recognise that it perhaps was more infatuation, and a desire to be in love, rather than a genuine deep love connection with Ava. It had taken me a long time to say it to her, and now I knew why, because I wasn't sure of it, and I didn't feel deep down that we fit. I had love for her, but it wasn't a deep love. I was a terrible person.
Millie still didn't know, that I had slept with Ava, and every day that passed that I didn't tell her, it hurt me not to. Physically hurt. I felt like I was cheating her, by not being one hundred percent honest. I was Cheating, us, of a clean slate and fresh start. I would tell her tonight. I had to. I thought I could live with it, but I can't.
The front doors to the school opened, and a cop stepped out, with a smartly dressed blonde woman beside her. They were chatting to someone out of sight. The cop walked to her squad car, leaving the blonde stood in the doorway talking. I watched her curiously, she threw her head back and laughed at something that the person said. As she turned, I realised exactly who this was, Millie's ex girlfriend.
My hackles went up instantly, the hairs on my arms too, as I watched Millie step out into the afternoon sunshine. It was Millie. She smiled back at her as they carried on speaking. It looked way too comfortable, for an ex she hadn't seen in years. Why was this ex touching her arm like that?! Oh my god, I feel like a sixteen year old right now. My skin was burning. I was sweating. The adrenaline from seeing the woman I loved with someone she had once been with, why did it make me feel mad?! Like she had done something wrong?! They were just talking. "Stop it Wren" I beg myself. My therapist would tell me that I was projecting what happened with my own ex onto Millie right now. "This won't look good at all if you run over there acting like a jealous teenager" I told myself . Not attractive. Fuck.
The blonde leant in and hugged her, and the five second embrace felt an hour long. She waved and took off to the cop car, which exited the car lot swiftly.
Millie took her phone from her blazer pocket and began to finally check her messages. I got out of the jeep and made my way over to her. She was none the wiser, as she looked down to her phone and texted quickly.
"Hi" I say, stepping up in front of her.
Her brown eyes light up as she looks up from her phone and she pockets it "Baby" she says excitedly, grabbing me and pulling me against her for a hug "I was just texting you back..." she says, kissing my cheek, and pulling back with a smile. She took her thumb, and wiped the lipstick from my cheek. "Are you okay" she asked me, noting perhaps my vibe was a little off, and my hug not so tight as usual.
I hated that she felt it. It wasn't just because of her ex, it was mine too. I was feeling off because I wasn't feeling secure. I worried she wouldn't forgive it, what happened with Ava, and now I've seen that her ex is quite literally in touching distance to her... I worried I would be handing her to her on a plate. I had spoken this through with my therapist yesterday, and we had made a clear plan, that I would address this, but now I was scared to.
The fear came out as an emotional clusterfuck instead "Why was she here?" I asked her a little abruptly "Are you going to see her again" I said almost accusatory.
Millie's eyebrows came together, and she stepped back. She looked over my features, with a frown I hated to see, and it turned into a disappointed head shake that I then felt to my core.
I was so disappointed with myself.
"She was on duty with a cop today. She brought a kid back this afternoon from town. It's a little thing called life Wren, you bump into people sometimes you didn't expect to see. It's doesn't have to turn into whatever...this is" she replied curtly.
She looked like she was about to slam that door behind her and walk away from me. She turned and grabbed the door, as expected.
I leant forward quick and took her wrist "I didn't mean it like it sounded" I beg "please Millie. I'm sorry"
She turned and shook her head "This was meant to finally be a day to reconnect. I've missed you so much, and now you've made it ...something else. Why are you acting like a jealous man child for" she questioned. "Wren we are meant to communicate this time. I'm not going back to the mess we made out of this the last time. If we can't talk like adults, and explain our feelings without sounding like jealous teenagers, then let's not go on this date ... let's just stop"
I nodded, and emotionally sobered up. "I understand why you are upset. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Trust me, it's not actually about Ruth"
"Then what" she asked me, turning back to face me. "Did something happen"
I looked her over, taking her in for the first time properly without the jealousy blinding me. I sigh, she looked so beautiful, just like how I met her, with her smart workwear. She had a black blazer on, a white silk shirt, and a black pencil skirt that I'm pretty sure more than one person had admired today other than me.
The bell rang above our heads "Tell me at dinner" she asked, gesturing to the doors "I have to get back inside. Pick me up around seven. Is that okay?" She asked.
"I will be there" I promised, and I let her go reluctantly, my fingers dropping from her wrist "I'm sorry" I repeat.
She tried to smile but it fell short "see you at seven" she said, disappearing back into the school.
I turned around, finding myself face to face with Olympia, who had appeared from Nowhere.
"You fucked that up" she told me, before linking her arm around mine and walking me back to the jeep. I dragged my feet a little, feeling deflated. "Come on" Olympia said, taking my keys "let's go and talk it out"
"What about Josie" I asked "don't you guys get picked up by Mom"
"Josie is going home with Veda apparently. I told Mom you were back in town to see Millie, and taking me home. She's excited to see you"
"The roof" I suggest.
"The roof" she confirms.