(Content/trigger warnings for this chapter: anxiety, family member reacting negatively to anxiety)
**Isabelle**
I lay awake in bed under rustly covers. My exhaustion begged my eyes to shut, but worry kept them wide open. What if I couldn't get Mother Nature's help? Would I get kidnapped? Die? What about what Lotus had said about what the soother would do? When would that happen? Would she drive me to my death? I hadn't been able to shake off the soothing at Ranya's high school; it was just too strong. And what was happening to Zachary? What had my anxiety caused?
It all made me feel like I had to step up and defeat Pitch. My guilt and fear yanked my heart; however, even when I tried to convince myself to begin to help, my anxiety wouldn't let me. It said to wait for Ranya to defeat everyone, that everything would be fine. She had to, right?
Jack gripped my shoulder tightly, watching my face. Sandy hovered over the bed with his hand clasping my other arm, his brows furrowed. The butterflies on the walls watched us all with eyeless faces. The wind cried and beat against the side of the house.
"You should really sleep." Jack looked me in the eye.
"I can't."
"Worried about something?"
"Yeah."
"I get that. But I'm right here, and I'll protect you."
Like he had at my school when I'd had to save myself.
I didn't reply, and watched the clock at the other end of my fully lit room. It was a simple white, circular analog one with blue hands. Its usually soft ticking sounded extra loud and ominous tonight. It had nearly reached ten o'clock.
I curled my fingers tight around the pinches of the Dreamsand in each pocket. Soon.
Tick. Tick. Tick. My heart beat faster as I watched the clock, and I dug the grainy Dreamsand into my palms.
Somehow, the tick when the clock hands shifted into the place for the hour sounded longer and more potent than the others.
Taking a small breath, I slowly slid my Dreamsand-holding fists out from under the blanket at the edges of the bed—one for Sandy, and one for Jack. The latter glanced toward them, and I yanked my fingers back inside.
"Isabelle, you should be sleeping," he said.
A glowing question mark formed above Sandy's head as he stared at me, too.
"I'm too scared," I said.
I inched my hands back out as Jack also examined my face. His stare darted toward them again, and I yanked them back inside.
Golden symbols flashed above Sandy's head.
"Yeah, maybe Sandy should put you to sleep," said Jack. "Does that sound good?" He searched my eyes with an intense look. I moved my fingers toward the edge of the blankets. He was really paying attention now, however, and glanced toward my hands even before they had peeked it out.
His gaze became even more intense, drilling, not the kinder Jack I knew. "Isabelle, you're not gonna escape again, right?" Did he know I had Dreamsand? My chest squeezed.
Sandy released my arm and tugged down my blankets.
Quickly, I lay on my hands. They dug into my back as Jack and Sandy both gave me looks.
"Isabelle, you want us to protect you, don't you?" the former said. "We can't do that if you escape." He gripped one arm and Sandy the other, and they pulled them out from under me.
I didn't think I could still convince them I was innocent. I flung my fingers open, throwing the Dreamsand at the two Guardians. It hit their chests, and their eyes drifted closed as they tumbled to the bed on either side of me. Their grip on my arms relaxed. I was now alone. Unprotected.
My eyes darted to every little shadow in the room. Could the Watcher come from the one in the corner? The one under my desk?
Nearly stumbling, I ran to the door, swung it open, and sprinted out.
Ranya strode from her room at the end of the hallway with a backpack on her shoulders. I nearly didn't notice her sympathetic gaze, presumably at my fear, as my eyes flickered to all the darkness. My heart beat rapidly. We went down the stairs together, and I hurriedly flicked on the dining room lights. The room still smelled vaguely of warm cookies, that wrong feeling.
"I'm here," Ranya whispered to me. "You're safe. And you'll go back to the Guardians as soon as this is over." She opened the pantry and handed me four chocolate chip cookies. "For your note. I can't stay long. I have to walk to someone's house to plan how to defeat Pitch. Don't worry—four people are waiting to take me where I'm going, so I won't be alone."
I looked at my bare feet. "Ranya, Sandy and Jack know how I knocked them out. They got suspicious, and were going to take the Dreamsand away. I had to put them to sleep then."
Ranya just stared for a moment, then sighed and jerked a hand through her hair. "Why did they get suspicious?"
"I didn't do a good enough job keeping it hidden."
Ranya opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again, shifting her weight. "We'll deal with it later."
My heart squeezed, and I turned away. Ranya did, too.
I slid the cookies into a small bag and wrote a quick note on a piece of paper explaining my situation to Mother Nature: the Watcher, the white mist, the soother, the danger in general. Mother Nature was powerful; could she fight the soother, and whoever controlled the white mist? Or were they stronger? At the end of the note, I begged for help, saying how I might die without good protection.
I folded and stapled it to the bag with a click, then slid on my coat. Ranya followed me outside.
My breath came out in puffs as I shivered. My bare feet crunched through the snow blanketing the back porch. Though I should've brought some boots, they were in my room, and I didn't want to go back in there tonight. The snow sent burning cold shocks up my legs.
No wind gusted now. Thick clouds covered the Moon and every single star, and beyond the backyard, the forest loomed in thick, matted darkness. I could hardly see the leaves on the trees.
"Are you sure you can't stay downstairs with me for a little while longer?" I asked, beginning to shake from more than just the cold. "I really need to research. This likely won't work."
"I'm sure. There just isn't a good way to contact Mother Nature. She doesn't like to talk to people. If you didn't find anything on the first 20 pages of Google, you won't find anything on the 21st." My ears rang. "Just try. It can't hurt." She gave me a little push.
I turned back around, nearly slipping on a patch of hard ice. "But what if I would find something?"
"If this doesn't work tonight, you can research more tomorrow." She glanced to the side, and her face caught the light from the house. Her jaw was set, likely in irritation. My fears annoyed her.
It jerked on my heart, but I still asked, "Are you certain?"
"Yeah. You'll have the whole day."
My heart still pounded. I slowly forced myself to face the woods again. Shadows shifted behind the trees. "H—hello?" I tiptoed farther into the cold white. "Wind? Could you please take something to Mother Nature for me?" I lifted my note and bag. The breeze didn't even whisper. My sister shifted, gazing back and forth at the dark. I resumed concentration on the forest and tried to tell myself the motion I saw in there was only my eyes making things up. "Hello?" I tried a tiny bit louder. Would the Watcher hear me if I was too loud? "Hello? Wind? Please, this is important. I'm in danger. I need help."
Something rustled in the forest, more sharply than the other sounds. "Mother Nature?" Yet I couldn't be certain; I stepped behind Ranya.
She raised a kitchen knife I hadn't known she was holding. She narrowed her eyes toward the forest.
We waited. Not a sound reached my ears but my own pounding heart and Ranya's quick breaths before me. Darkness cloaked the woods and the yards on either side of us. If something came, would we see it in time?
"I don't think anyone's coming, Isabelle," Ranya finally said, and lowered her knife slightly. "Try again."
I stared out from behind her at the shifting shapes in the dark and then retreated farther. It's for Mother Nature, I told myself. You need to do this to get her protection. If you don't, you may die.
Taking a breath, I stepped forward, then immediately retreated. My ears rang. I might die; it didn't mean I would die. I might not have to do this terrifying thing. It could be all right.
Ranya tried to push me forward, but I ducked under her arm and whimpered.
She turned toward me and sighed. "It really is nothing." She spread out her knife-holding arm and gestured at the darkness surrounding us.
"But we heard something," I pointed out.
"Nothing has come to attack us. And even if something did, there are still two Guardians who would come out and help us if we began screaming. Just go."
The darkness squirmed beyond me. I took a step forward. Then another. Slowly, I held out my bag. My arm shook.
"Mother Nature? Wind?" I whispered.
"A little louder," said Ranya.
"Please?" I tried at a slightly higher volume. "Do I have to do something for you to come? I have cookies. Do you like cookies?" No reply. "Help?"
Light appeared behind me, and I spun to see the window to my parent's room glowing behind the blinds.
Ranya glanced back and pulled on my arm. "I'm sorry. We have to go. Just leave the note somewhere, and maybe Mother Nature will find it. I can't get caught outside."
"But what if the Guardians don't care what I'm trying to do?"
The blinds fidgeted.
"They'll still stop me, and I need to meet with people tonight to defeat Pitch. Come on, Isabelle." Ranya started toward the house, tugging me.
"Let go!" I struggled.
"So you're gonna stay out here alone?"
My heart pounded so hard that each beat shook me. "Please stay, just a little longer—"
"I can't." Ranya released me and ran toward the house.
"Ranya, please—"
She reached the door, and now I was out here alone.
I stood there for a few moments in indecision. The blinds rustled behind me and flicked scattered light into the dark, but it hardly penetrated the fear. Trembling, I threw my note into the wind and dashed inside as quickly as I could.
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