I stare wide-eyed at Justin for a few seconds before I erupt in a snorting laughter.
A breath-taking triumph smile curls his lips, crinkling his eyes in the corners as he pops the champagne. The cork shoots against the ceiling, intensifying my laughter as we both duck, having no inkling of where it landed.
My sides ache from laughing, tears forming in my eyes. The good kind. I honestly don't even know why I'm laughing this hard. It was funny but not that funny.
Funny enough for a good laugh but not funny enough for a boisterous laugh.
Am I making any sense? It feels like I'm making no sense at all.
Anyhow, I might not know why I'm laughing this hard, but I do know it's refreshing. It's made the thoughts which plagued my mind mere minutes ago, vanish. The heaviness which settled within my heart is lifted, replaced with an airy lightness.
It's perplexing but I'm not going to question it.
I guess laughter truly is the best medicine.
Justin fills our flutes, bubbles land on my hands before he takes his own glass from me. "To us and the love we share. May our love last lifetimes," he clinks his flute against mine, taking a sip of the bubbly champagne and I gulp.
"To us," I repeat like a parrot, downing the carbonated liquid like a shot, realization hitting me like a fucking tsunami. "Sorry," I force a giggle. "I was really thirsty." I can't tell Justin the truth. It will crush him.
Whoever said you have to tell your partner everything clearly had nothing to hide. Ah, shit. I'm a horrible person for even thinking this.
"Are you okay, love?" He asks, cupping my cheek, rubbing his thumb soothingly up and down my skin. "You seem a million miles away."
"I'm sorry," I apologize not only for getting lost in my head but for all the secrets I've kept from him. For all the secrets I'm still concealing from him and for all the secrets I'm going to keep locked away and buried deep.
He deserves the truth but at what cost? Perhaps it's best I keep him in the dark to protect him from the inevitable pain my actions will cause him.
Sometimes not knowing is better.
"I'm still dazed from our banging hello," I wink.
"That was definitely the best hello I've ever received," he smiles as he bends in all his naked glory, dipping his fingers into the water layered with rose scented bubbles.
"Me too," I sigh, the lie rolling off my tongue with unabashed ease. I force myself to focus on something else and by something else I mean the naked man in front of me.
My eyes lower to his perfectly toned ass slowly raking up the muscles moving and tensing on his smooth, tanned back. I follow his every move, my gaze locked on every hard ridge of his immaculate body.
If perfect existed, I'd be looking at it right now – all the hours he's devoted to waking up early and working out in his home gym is showing.
The way his abs are defined and pronounced. His biceps, triceps and all the other ceps I can't think of right now, is the same – chiseled, defined, pronounced, ripped. Pure fucking perfection at its finest.
As gratified as my pussy is, round two doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Let annihilation of the pussy commence!
I follow his every move as he closes the tap and pulls out a foldable wooden table as high as the bathtub. He places his empty flute glass on top along with the open bottle of champagne.
His vibrant blue gaze connects with mine, his lips curling in the sweetest smile before he takes a step closer to me.
"Like what you see?"
"More like love," I wiggle my brows, running my palms against his heated skin. "In fact, I love what I see so much, I'm willing to take a picture to make this moment last forever," I keep my gaze locked on his as I drop my hands and take careful steps towards the tub.
"Is that so?"
"Mmhmm," I hum, raising my legs over the rim of the tub. He mirrors me before turning to the table, filling our glasses with more champagne.
I force my gaze away from him, sinking into the hot water. I breathe out a soft sigh, goosebumps exploding over my skin. "This feels so good," I moan in approval, closing my eyes. It doesn't get better than this.
I've dreamt of this moment since I could remember. I thought bathtubs like this only existed in my dreams.
The kind of bathtub which allows your knees and your boobs to be under water at the same time.
I truly never thought I'd get to experience this in my lifetime. Perhaps in my afterlife when I make it to the pearly gates then again, the chances of me ending down below is fucking huge.
But I don't have to wait for my death to enjoy this feeling of having my boobs and knees submerged at the same time.
This is a big deal – huge even.
I always have to sacrifice a certain part of my body being exposed and wet while I try to relax. This is just – I need to get me one of these.
"I thought you'd like it," he chuckles. "I'm having one installed in our main bathroom for you."
"Really?" I pout, melting into a puddle of goo. I move my hand under the water, loving the feel of the hot water between my fingers.
I raise my hand out of the water, cupping a handful of white foam and I gently blow on it.
"I told you," he hands me my flute. "I would do anything to make you happy, love."
Emotions flare to life in my constricting heart filling with appreciation for the man next to me. Tears prickle and sting my eyes, my bottom lip begins to quiver and my vision blurs.
"Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Tell me how to fix it," he cups my cheek with his wet hand and the first tear falls.
"You did nothing wrong," I smile through my tears. "I'm just... how did I get so lucky?" I sniffle as he wipes away my tears before wrapping me in his strong arms.
"You deserve the world," he whispers, each word coated with the truth. "I'll do anything to give it to you. Anything," he kisses the top of my head, allowing his lips to linger. "It has nothing to do with luck," he adds. "It's fate. Our fate."
How in the actual fuck do I respond to that without blurting out my indiscretions like a lunatic?
God, he deserves so much better.
So much better than me but it is what it is.
All I can do is give him the best version of me. The one who doesn't cheat and lie.
I can do that. For him.
Starting now... hopefully.
I move to grab my champagne and the water swishes with my movements. Some of it splashing on the floor. I push my slippery arm through the gap between his arm and his body and I rest my head against his shoulder. I choose not to respond.
Nothing I say will compare. Nothing I say will add validity to this precious moment between lovers.
Heck, anything I say will corrupt the innocence and integrity of what we've just shared. I don't want to pop the colorful bubble surrounding us.
So, I allow a comfortable silence to nestle between us and the words to integrate and settle. We remain like that for what feels like hours, sipping our champagne and watching the sun slowly disappear from the sky.
The water begins to cool, the rose scented bubbles fade leaving behind an enriched sweet scent, my fingers and toes prune and we sip the last drops of champagne.
Goosebumps begin to erupt over my body, my nipples harden and shrink, and a shiver runs down my spine. A deep, throaty chuckle rumbles to life from Justin's chest as he peers at my nipples with dilated pupils.
"C'mon," he stands, offering me his hand. "I know exactly how to warm you up," a handsome as fuck smirk curls his lips enticing me to place my hand in his.
"Okay," I whisper for some unknown reason, following him to the shower. He turns the water on, shutting the door behind him and he cups my face with his cold hands.
He captures my lips, plunging his tongue laced with champagne sultrily into my parted mouth. Our tongues dance together like two partners who have been doing the tango for a year. Every stroke of his tongue is sensually flirtatious with bursts of passion igniting the dwindling flames within me. Like pouring gasoline on an ember about to succumb to its demise.
I run my fingertips down his body, going slower over his abs tensing beneath my touch. He speeds up our kiss without deepening it and my mind protests with a booming NO banging against my skull.
Alec would never ruin a flawlessly arousing kiss with unwarranted speed which takes away an element instead of adding one to the kiss.
Rushed, fast-paced kisses filled with desire and passion is excellent when you're on the same page, but I wasn't ready to transition to it. I wanted to keep the pace which made my toes curl and my pussy flutter.
I wanted to relish in it until my core ached for more. I wanted to enjoy the teasing strokes of his tongue against mine which just began to drive me wild.
Fuck – I wanted it to last longer until I lost control.
Or until we lost control together.
Alec – the fuck am I thinking?
This isn't Alec.
This is Justin and they're two completely different people.
I shouldn't be kissing my fiancé and comparing him to the man I'm divorcing.
Justin is an amazing kisser. Sometimes he gets carried away and he expresses himself through our kiss.
I can't hang it over his head and fault him for enjoying our kiss.
He ends the kiss, breathing heavily through his red, swollen lips, and he leans his forehead against mine.
"If we don't stop now, we won't make it in the shower."
"Or we could, y'know," my lips curve into a naughty smirk as I run my finger down the center of his body. "Continue this in the shower."
Without a word, he opens the shower door and pulls me inside. Hot water immediately rains down on us, warming my skin. Steam surrounds us, intensifying the moment.
"What an appetite you have," he says, weaving his fingers through my wet hair.
"Can you blame me?" I ask, inching closer as my gaze flickers from his lustful eyes to his red lips.
"No and I never will," his lips smash against mine, his tongue exploring my mouth and his hand finds my right breast, pinching my nipple deliciously between his fingers.
An aching throb begins to hum between my thighs, eliciting a guttural moan. His lips detach from mine, trailing hot, wet kisses down my throat.
He replaces his fingers with his mouth around my nipple nibbling, sucking, tasting, His fingers find my clit, teasing my sensitive nub.
"You feel so good, baby," he murmurs against my breast as he eases his fingers inside of me. Curling and pumping them while stimulating my clit.
His erection brushes against my hand and I wrap my fingers around his hardness. I pump my hand to match his rhythm and pace between my thighs.
"It's all you," I purr like a cat being petted even though it's my kitty being petted.
She can't purr. It wouldn't be right.
Can you imagine a purring sound emit from your vagina when you're aroused and getting finger-fucked?
Yeah, no thanks.
It'll freak me and him out although what a damn talent it would be!
You'll purr yourself to orgasm considering the sound feels like waves of vibration in actual cats.
"Fuck me," I moan as my walls clench around his fingers buried inside of me, working my G-spot. "I want you to fuck, ahhh, me until I climax and strangle your dick, oooh!" My body tenses, my mouth drops open in gratification and I'm being thrust into euphoria. I can feel my orgasm is nigh.
He removes his hand right before I climax, bringing me to the brink of my high. He eases my tight grip from around his dick and raises my leg, placing it on his hip.
"Your wish is my command," he says, pushing my back against the cool, wet tiles right before he pounds into me mercilessly, giving into our carnality hitting all the right spots. Over and over and over until my throat aches from my cries of pure blissful pleasure.
Everything begins to clench, pulsate, and writhe. I can't focus on anything except the fiery gratification exploding through every nerve in my body.
Green and blue flash like a multitude of fireworks, bringing color to the darkness behind my closed lids amplifying my satisfaction.
His precise thrusts become more sloppy, more rushed, more frantic than the last as he approaches his own release.
"Ahh," he moans, the sound sexy and sultry. If I didn't just orgasm, it would be enough to make me.
"You're amazing," he pants. "I love you."
"And I love you," I smile lazily, slumping against the wall on jellified legs and I close my eyes.
He places gentle kisses on my bare shoulder, and he guides me under the shower head allowing the surprisingly still hot water to cascade down on my body.
The temperature relaxes me even more, relieving my muscles of all the tension which accumulated from our sessions.
I feel his fingers in my hair and the smell of my favorite mixed berries shampoo wafts into my nostrils. A soft sigh escapes my lips as he massages my scalp soothingly.
It's a huge contrast to the man who was pounding into me hard and precise mere minutes ago, but I love how rough and equally gentle he can be with me. It's polar opposites.
It's two devastingly sexy characteristics mashed into one incredibly handsome man. He's a Godsend, a package deal. Signed, sealed, and delivered for all my wants and needs.
Fuck me – oh God, not literally.
Please not literally. At least not for a few more hours.
After our shower, I just want to stuff my face with food and cuddle and that's exactly what we do once we're done showering.
We order room service and I wrap myself up in the purple robe Justin bought for me. I get comfortable next to him, resting my head on his chest and listen to the sound of his heart beating. I stare out the large window as the city comes to life all around us.
I realize our heartbeats are out of sync. The lub-dub of his heart is ahead of mine. It's not a competition and it's not some psycho mumbo-jumble.
It's an actual study which was conducted by the University of California. It focused on the rhythm of a couple's heart. When a person is in love, their heartbeat synchronizes with that of their lover.
The couple didn't need to have any physical contact, they just had to be in the same room.
So why aren't our hearts doing it? Are there faults in the study which discredit their findings? Because I know I love him, and he loves me.
Our hearts should be beating in the same steady rhythm.
So why isn't it?
A crazy ass answer with a shit ton of red flags bellowing around it pops into my mind. I try to force it away, but it fights to be heard.
It fights to be acknowledged.
It fights for my immediate attention, and I lose the battle to shove it away.
It comes tumbling to the forefront of my mind like an avalanche ready to trap me in its icy grip. The freezing talons dig deeply into my frontal lobe with a painful force, allowing the answer to slip through the horrid puncture wounds.
Perhaps I love him, but I'm not in love with him.
A/N: So many emotions, doubts, unsavory thoughts and one significant revelation based on the beat of their hearts being out of sync... Do you think she's right though?🤔 Or is she just trying to justify her wrongdoings in an unnecessarily complicated way?
Thoughts?
Don't forget to hit that precious⭐
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Till the next chapter
Lots of love❤️❤️