*** Some of y'all are NOT gonna like this chapter cause y'all don't like Alex and some of y'all might like it too much. This is a dark romance, not horror/thriller. Sorry not sorry. This chapter is SUPER spicy and takes up the majority of this chapter. Proceed at your own risk! This chapter also hasn't been thoroughly edited so I apologize in advance***
Alex didn't mention the kiss. It was several hours before I accepted that he wasn't going to bring it up. I wasn't sure if I could handle another emotionally charged conversation so soon. I was so drained from the last few days. Maybe he could sense that. I made bad decisions when I was emotionally charged. Like straddling my kidnapper and kissing him. "Your face is an open book," he teased with a smirk, eyeing me. I flushed.
I made a face at him and switched my focus back to the book in my lap. I wasn't reading it. I flipped the page so he couldn't call me out on that too.
If Alex was keeping closer eye on me since my narrow not-escape, I couldn't tell. If anything, he seemed more at ease, which frustrated me. But, I was not going to let my frustration lead to any more dark impulses today. No stupid, slutty ones either, I reprimanded myself.
Alex cleared his throat and I glanced up again, raising an eyebrow. I didn't say that out loud, did I? "I think it's best if we head home today," he said.
"Oh." I wasn't necessarily surprised, but it did catch me off guard.
"Yeah, I just don't think it's a good idea to stay after yesterday," he said gently, stirring the hot coals from the fire we had lit this morning. We had settled down next to the residual heat. I pretended to read and he widdled away at a stick.
"I guess I failed your test," I said, keeping my tone even as I glanced back down at my book. The words on the pages could have been Greek for all I knew. I was about to lose my only chance to run before I was forced back into that fortress of a house.
"You definitely didn't ace it." I could hear the smirk in his voice. "I just think it'd be best to take the temptation away from you." Which one? The kiss or his brief stint in cliff diving?
"Temptation?" I asked, feigning innocence.
"Yes," he said, humoring me.
"You want to know what I think?" Casual. Conversational.
"Tell me." I had piqued his interest. I could tell by the teasing edge to his voice.
"Remember the trade we made before the trip? The one where I get to wear clothes to bed-"
"A shirt-"
"Fine. A shirt," I said, rolling my eyes, "in exchange for a kiss each night?"
"I remember." He wore a lazy smile.
I snapped my book shut and looked up at him from beneath my lashes. I wasn't actually reading anyway. I leaned over and brushed away a piece of ash from his shirt before sliding my hand up his chest. "Do you think all my kisses will be like last night when I had my..." I searched for the right words. "Momentary lapse in judgment?"
His eyes flashed with heat as they glanced down at my mouth. "Will they, Jamie?" he asked in a low, rumbling voice. The way he said my name sent warmth down my spine. I let the words settle between us like the coals in the remnants of the fire. Sleepy heat that would burn me if I got too close.
When his eyes met mine again I grinned with sadistic delight. "No." The word rolled off my tongue and it tasted so sweet. I stood and laughed. "If we have to leave I guess I'll start packing to go home."
Alex let out a breath and looked over his shoulder at me as I walked towards the tent. "You're playing a dangerous game, Jamie." His voice still had a seductive lilt to it.
"No I'm not," I teased, unzipping the door. "You won't lose control, right? That's what you said last night. I believe you also said you don't lie. Prove it."
I took delight in the half groan, half expletive that drifted towards me as I started throwing things in my bag. The high of teasing him stayed with me until we had both finished packing. It was harmless fun. Just teasing. Flirting. It didn't mean anything. My mom always said I was a flirt. Even if I tended to be shy. I was just having fun.
"Shit I forgot about that," Alex said as we stared at the loaded four wheeler and small trailer. The generator wouldn't fit. I mean, we could have piled it on top, but the terrain was too rough and I don't think he wanted to chance it falling off and getting damaged. "We'll have to come back for it after we drop everything else off."
I shrugged. I wasn't opposed to two trips. The four wheeler was fun. I had apparently earned my 'backseat' privileges back since last night. I climbed on behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Alex revved the engine and then started to pull out of our campsite into the treeline. I pressed my cheek into his warm back, shielding myself from the bitter wind. For October it had been awfully cold these last few days. The ride back was winding and slow. Alex seemed to know the way though. As I watched the forest slipped by, a terrible idea popped into my head.
I dragged my fingertips along his stomach. Tracing the small patch of muscle beneath his navel through his shirt. The response was almost immediate. "Jamie," he warned. I could barely hear his growling voice over the rumble of the engine. I grinned, my heart rate picking up. My fingers crept to the edge of his shirt and slipped under, teasing his bare skin. The four wheeler lurched as his left hand yanked mine out from under his shirt. His rough hand completely enveloped mine. He didn't stop the four wheeler but continued on, holding my hand for another moment before placing it flat again where it had rested a few minutes earlier, on top of his shirt.
As soon as he released it, I started again, teasing small circles and then slipping under the edge of his shirt. We repeated the cycle several times before he started ignoring me. I traced each line of muscle on his abdomen, pausing each time he tensed. When I got bored of that, my hand drifted to his thigh. His grip on the handles tightened as I ran my fingers along the top of his leg, slowly drifting to his inner thigh. I lost my balance as we went over a large bump. My teasing had apparently affected him more than I realized because when I tried to catch myself to keep from lurching to the side, I accidently pressed against his rather large erection with my hand. He sucked in a breath as I yanked my hand back. I cringed as I realized I may have taken my game a little too far.
"Behave, Jamie," he half hissed, half groaned.
He had been hard as steel beneath his jeans and I felt that quiver deep in my belly, just like I had last night. I had wanted to tease him, not... well, that.
I behaved the last few minutes of the ride, worried he'd be mad when we got to the house.
When we came to a stop at the front of the house, I hopped off. Alex didn't move. I grabbed our bags off the trailer and avoided looking at him as he tried to discreetly adjust himself. When he finished he passed me without looking at me and opened the front door. "Go inside," he said, motioning towards the door.
"Why?" I asked, suddenly nervous. I searched his face. He didn't seem angry.
"Because I'm not going to endure that two more times," he said, flashing dark lusty eyes at me. Ah, not anger. "I'll make the second trip on my own." I didn't argue as I carefully approached. As I went to pass him, he gently caught my wrist. "I don't lie, and I won't lose control, but if you want to play this game, I'm not going to stop you next time." And then I was being pressed against the door frame and his lips were on mine. He spoke the words between hot and heavy kisses. "I didn't say I wouldn't kiss you." His rough fingertips pressed into my back and hips, pulling me against his body. "Or touch you." Fingers wrapped around my braid, tugging and exposing my neck to him. "I want you. But I will stop if I think you really want me to."
He had stolen all the air again. I was dizzy as his teeth grazed my sensitive flesh. Hot. Too hot. "Stop," I said. I had meant for it to sound firm and stern, but even to my own ears it sounded like a breathy moan. My heart pounded and I could feel it to the tips of my toes. Could hear it like an erotic drum in my ears. Could feel it... deep... deep... "Stop!" I gasped. And this time, he listened.
I didn't stick around to have a conversation this time. I was glad to be able to walk away from him for the first time in a few days. To get space between he and I. He didn't follow me. I could hear the front door click shut and heard the two toned sound and scrape of the electronic lock being activated. I breathed out a sigh of relief but a small part of me wanted him to follow me. To see how far he would take it.
I had to get this out of my system. A shower. A hot hot shower. I was going to take a shower and then I was going to get this out of my system. Plan made, I headed towards our room and quickly stripped, not bothering to pick up my clothes.
After enjoying the privacy of an actual toilet for the first time in three days, I finally stepped up to the shower and turned on the hot water. My fingertips danced in the water as it quickly came up to temperature. The air was thick with heat and moisture and was so welcome after the frigid cold of the last few days. As the bathroom warmed up, I released my braid and began to attack my knotted curls with a brush.
The heat clung to my naked skin as I looked in the mirror. At my tangle of wild hair. I thought over that kiss after the cliff diving incident. I wasn't sure what had gotten in to me. Maybe because it'd been a couple weeks? How long had I been here? I ran through the timeline, counting. I'd been here for twelve days. It felt like so much longer. Like at least a month. Only twelve days? Really?
That didn't very long. I groaned as I ripped through a knot. I was frustrated. I threw the brush down on the counter. I was horny. There. I admitted it. I may not have had my first kiss before I came here but I did have a very regular routine when it came to taking care of myself and it'd been almost two weeks.
I stepped into the hot, steamy water and let it loosen my taut muscles.
I had gotten used to being alone with Alex. Especially on the trip. He wouldn't let me more than twenty feet away from him at all times including bathroom breaks. Not something I thought about when I agreed to the trip. But I had gotten used to that casual closeness and his teasing. And somehow... his heated looks and teasing had gotten to me over the last few days. Coupled with being glad Alex hadn't jumped at the chance to fulfill his promise to make me cum with his name on my lips every day and night. Heat flushed through me again.
And in that heat I remembered my shoebox under the bed. The one that hadn't been touched since the day Alex had gotten on the bed with me and...
Phantom fingers teased me and my own fingers drifted. Another pulse of desire shot through me. If I was quick, I would have plenty of time before Alex got back. He'd left, what, maybe fifteen minutes ago? He'd have to load the generator and tie it down and then drive another fifteen minutes back. I had plenty of time. It'd probably be my only chance to use it without him knowing and then I could just get my fix and get it out of my system so I didn't make anymore bad decisions.
My heart raced at the thought and I debated it for another moment. Yes. I needed to do this so I didn't do anything else stupid like ask him to help me get it out of my system. I quickly squeezed the water out of my hair and half tiptoed half ran to my side of the bed and pulled out the shoebox. I grabbed the vibrator and ran back into the bathroom as quickly as I could, trying not to get the floor soaking wet.
I slipped back in the shower room and moved all the toiletries to the floor so I could take the bench. The tile was cold against my skin as I leaned back, trying to find a comfortable position. The hot water still ran over my legs, while the spray tickled the skin of my stomach and chest. I let my hands wander as the tile beneath me warmed. I reclined further and opted to lay on my back on the bench, one leg bent at the knee and the other hanging over the edge.
With a shaky breath I clicked the button at the base and it buzzed to life. My fingers fluttered over my thighs as I brushed the tip of my toy over my clit. "Fuck..." I moaned. And I quickly became lost in that heartracing high of electricity in my veins. I was alone and I took advantage of the fact. I didn't muffle my whimpers as I chased release.
I was panting as I pressed the vibrating tip to my myself. I spent a few minutes teasing myself before pressing in and God help me I imagined Alex's fingers. I whined as I arched. Sliding slowly until I met resistance and then out before starting the slow torture again. I tilted my head back imagining his mouth on my throat like it had been earlier. Nipping, teeth grazing my skin. "Alex..." I panted as a wave of pleasure rolled through me. I shouldn't say his name. I shouldn't be thinking about him. I just needed to get it out of my system.
And so against my better judgment, I indulged in the fantasy. My eyes slipped shut. His name stayed a whisper on my lips as I brought myself closer. I could feel it, just out of reach. Phantom fingers and phantom lips coaxed me. So close...
"Fuck..." And I came undone. A sweet, almost painful release that almost outweighed the fact that it had not been my own voice I heard. Shit... Please don't be there when I open my eyes.
I stopped moving as I came down from the high, though I was still panting. My heart, still racing. I clicked the toy off and set it to my side, shielding it from view as I pressed an arm over my chest as though I could hide from him. Was he still there? I cracked an eye open and looked towards the entrance of the shower.
"You better say something, Jamie." The words were heavy with aching need. I understood what he was saying but couldn't form words. If I said nothing, he was going to join me and I doubted he'd be a bystander. He glanced from my covered breasts the the hand shielding between my legs and then looked me eyes. The hunger there made my mouth go dry.
A knot formed in my throat. I just had to tell him to leave. He was giving me an out. I just needed to say it. Tell him to leave you stupid girl. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon," I said. My voice was so quiet, I wasn't sure he'd hear me.
"I can see that," he said. His eyes raked over my naked body once again and that quiver in my stomach returned. "Are you going to ask me to leave?" I didn't respond. Was I?
"How'd you get back so quick?" I whispered, my heart racing.
He flashed me a wolfish grin before pulling his shirt over his head. "I've been gone for an hour," he answered as he unbuttoned his pants. I swallowed hard, watching those thick fingers work the zipper. Fingers I'd been imagining inside me just a few minutes ago. He was still giving me time to tell him to get out.
"It didn't feel like an hour," I choked out as his pants dropped.
"You were moaning my name. There was water on the floor. I thought you were hurt," he said, maintaining eye contact as he dropped his boxers to the floor. A sound left me and my face burned in humiliation.
"I was- I needed to-" I fumbled, unable to take my eyes off his. "I wasn't-"
"You were moaning my name as you fucked yourself with that toy," he said, walking towards me. "Were you hoping I'd come home and find you like this?"
"No," I panted. He was so close. He knelt next to the bench where I still lay.
"Are you sure?" he purred. His hand stroked over my ankle and up my calf. I let out a shuddering breath as his rough fingertips reached my thigh.
"I don't-" I breathed out. "I don't want-" But I couldn't finish my sentence. As he stroked the fingers on the hand I was using to cover myself. I broke eye contact, my eyes slipping closed as I panted. I could hear my heartbeat in my own ears again and it pulsed just beneath the fingers he was stroking. I couldn't contain the whimper that left me as he gently moved my hand to my thigh. I felt like I was going to explode if he touched me.
"You do want, otherwise you'd be asking me to stop," he said gently as his fingers dragged along my thighs, coming close but never touching where I needed him. "I could slip my fingers in here," he said. I squirmed as the tip of his finger entered me, and then he stopped. I moaned in frustration. "Do you want me to?"
I pushed his hand away and sat up, pressing my back to the tile. "Stop asking stupid questions," I hissed. And he did. He had been under the stream of hot water as he teased me so when his fingers wound into my wet hair, his dripped on me. His mouth covered mine and I was back in the frenzy.
Fuck, fuck, fuck... I knew this was a mistake but I couldn't stop. I needed more. More than I could give myself with a couple stolen minutes in the shower.
And then his mouth moved to my neck... then my shoulder. And then, his fingers started tentatively skim along my ribs before cupping my breasts. I moaned again, pressing my head back against the wall. His mouth followed with hot open kisses before taking my nipple in his mouth. Fuck, could I cum from this? I'd never really touched myself in that way. It was a completely different sensation. And then my breath caught as he moved lower yet again..
Was he going to...? His hands slid between my thighs to spread them and I hesitated. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked, looking up at me. I swallowed down the lump in my throat. He was still completely in control... and I was desperate. I stared back without answering. Waiting. His thumbs rubbed circles in my inner thigh as he broke eye contact and pulled one of my legs up on his shoulder.
I let out the breath I had been holding. He pressed a kiss to the side of my knee before sliding his hand up my other thigh. I quietly moaned as he stroked a thumb over me. He trailed kisses up my thigh until he had to scoot me forward on the bench. I startled at the sudden movement and then my other leg was on his shoulder too. One arm wrapped around my stomach from underneath me and his breath was caressing me. And then I felt his tongue. Oh fuck, I felt his tongue. Lapping at me.
His own groan vibrated against my flesh and I was no longer trying to contain my whimpers. "Alex." His name was just a trembling whisper carried by my ragged breath. His hand reached up to tug my nipple and I nearly came undone. "Please..." I begged. I took in a sharp breath as he sucked my clit into his mouth and rolled the nipple between his fingers. He released both and when his fingers reappeared, a single digit sank into me slowly as I shuddered, quickly building to a peak. "Alex!" He slowly pumped the finger as he lapped at me. Each swipe of his tongue pushing me closer.
He slipped the finger out fully and then began to press two. I stretched around him. The slight discomfort was quickly replaced with pleasure and they sank deeper. They rotated slightly and then curled inside of me. I screamed his name as I came and his fingers disappeared. His tongue took their place and I rode the wave longer than I thought possible.
Alex shuddered against me, his forehead pressing against my lower belly as his shoulders seemed to spasm under me. And I realized that when his fingers had disappeared, he must have started touching himself.
As the waves started to subside, another bout of shame started to come over me. No excuses. I had wanted it, and the lines were blurry now. I wasn't sure what to do or say or even how to exit this situation. But Alex took care of that for me. "Want to finish showering?"
"Okay," I said quietly, avoiding his eyes. My throat felt raw. I'd really gotten myself into it this time.