Sorry I've been gone. I've been busy with stuff. And not that anyone cares, but for the last three weekends in a row I've been running half marathons and finished in the top each time. So, don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do something you can if you work for it.
Anyway, I'm back with a rant that's only fair, because I did it for the females. So let's talk about: Things to Stop Doing with Male Characters
Am I the only one disappointed in the quality of male characters in stories and not just because "guys aren't like that in real life?" (Because some guys are narcissists and some are straight out of a fucking John Green novel. They're about as diverse as girls if you can believe that. Gasp).
I feel like they have three roles: the bad boy, the depressed boy, the philosopher. Yet, with these roles, hardly any of them ever manage to walk away as a dynamic character (unless they are a "reformed bad-boy, but y'all know how I feel about that shit. You have to change for yourself, because if you change for someone else, it'll never work).
So here's my list of things to not do with male characters.
1. Making them one dimensional
Have you ever noticed that most male characters are only allowed to have one interest, one passion, one personality, or one attitude? If the guy is an athlete he's only allowed to do butch, jock things. He isn't allowed to have other interests.
Now, I'll be the first to admit, being a good athlete takes the majority of your time. Hell, I'm sitting here with ice on my joints, because runner's knee is a bitch, but working out is important in my life. So, yes, it takes a long time. But people are allowed to have other interests.
Why can't he also like painting, or reading, or cooking, or maybe even sewing, or writing, or studying, or something? You can have other interests. You can't just live your entire life absorbed in one thing. Yes, you can like one thing more than anything else, but surely to God you have other interests. Please. Don't you people like sleeping? Or eating? Or something?
It's the same with the depressed male characters. They're only allowed to sit around and brood. Depressed people can have hobbies. They can have interests. I'd like to see some guy that doesn't fall easily into one category that they never leave.
And I also hate that their only emotion (besides their normal personality) is aggression. Guys cry. Guys get irrationally upset. My best friend's favorite thing to do is get annoyed. It's not that he's mad it's just that he does his "you're a fucking dumbass" face and rolls his eyes like a little girl when I make him really upset. Guys can have a multitude of emotions just like girls. Why does no one ever explore that? Please do.
2. Not going past their looks
It annoys me so much when a male character is never described past what they look like. "His gorgeous blonde hair, piercing blue orbs [did you know people actually call eyes orbs these days? I find that interesting], six pack abs, and killer body." And unfortunately that's about all we ever get to know about him (except the MC is totally in love with him and he may or may not have a "dark past" that makes him a dick to everyone, but really he has a good heart.)
Honestly, I'm horrible at describing people's physical appearance. I don't pay attention to what people look like (which I've been told is the opposite of every other writer in the world, but whatever. Sue me). If you tell me about the dude with the brown hair and green eyes and washboard abs, I probably don't have any clue who you're talking about.
If you tell me about the funny guy with the really dry sense of humor or the really anxious guy that's always taping his foot or rubbing his fingers, I know who you're talking about. And, honestly, it tells me a lot more about that person. If you notice someone is funny, they're probably pretty vocal or witty or observant. If you tell me they're anxious, they're probably easily distracted, fairly quiet, and maybe even somewhat emotional. It's a general idea (not always true) that tells me more than their hair and eye color.
So, if people could focus more on the male character's personality and less on their looks, that would be great.
3. Passing off aggression as protection
Apparently it's a big deal in the werewolf genre to make the male MC very possessive? I dunno, I don't read werewolf stuff too often, but I trust what you guys tell me. Anyway, I find this kind of a problem.
It's no big deal to have someone who's protective. I get it. My dad's a bit overprotective. My brother is extremely protective. My best friend doesn't like me to be in trouble.
But I'm not their property. They don't get to growl "mine" (they tell me the werewolf stories do this? Is this true? Am I being lied to?) and control everything I do.
You know what I think protection is: knowing someone's limits and offering to help them when they reach a breaking point. That's what happens. My dad knows I can handle school, and my jobs, and charity stuff, and doctor stuff, and all the other shit in between. But when I have a little too much on my plate he offers to help out. He'll watch my cat so I don't have to worry about her getting fed and going out and all that cat stuff. It's not that I absolutely can't; it's that he just wants to help out.
My brother knows I can handle all the creepy guys that come into work and flirt with me. He knows I know how to deny their constant requests for dates, my number, nudes, etc. But when they hang around after hours and wait for me to get off, he's cool coming to walk me to my car or following me home so they don't. It's not that I can't deal with them on my own, it's that he makes it easier for me.
I remember one of the most meaningful things that my best friend ever did for me in high school was when these girls were spreading these horrible rumors and instead of just taking over the entire situation, he let me call the shots. Honestly, I learned more about myself and dealing with people from that than I ever would have if he would have just taken control of my life. I'm so grateful for that. When he heard someone spreading the rumors, he would politely tell them they weren't true, but he let me discredit those girls with my own actions. That meant the world to me. He supported me. He didn't command I do it his way.
You see? You see how they don't just tell me what I can and can't do? I ask for help. If they see me struggling, they ask me if there is something they can do. They don't just take over and run my life. It would be nice if we had supporting male MCs for just that: support. Don't let them dominate and insist that they run the female's life. Let them try to help out and make things easier.
4. Making them "perfect"
Have you ever notice the guy is always the sweetest thing in the world to the MC? And he always has some beautiful, poetic lines to give her. Yeah. No. Can we lighten up on that a little bit?
I've shared with you some of the wisdom that my best friend has bestowed upon me. It's all throughout this rant book and obviously it has made a big impact on me. But, if I can be honest, I kind of like the moments where he says something very strange or even stupid just as much, if not more.
The thing is, he's really, really good when someone is in physical pain or someone is dealing with a lot of anxiety. He understands physical pain. He understands panic attacks.
He does not understand emotions. He really doesn't. When someone is crying because they're emotionally upset or angry, he goes into panic mode. His favorite thing to tell people is that he doesn't have emotions, and it's somewhat true (although it totally goes against one of my earlier points, but stay with me). My best friend is one of the most even tempered people you'll ever meet. So it freaks him out when someone is upset.
And I love that about him. He says some really crazy, weird things when he's in panic mode. It's not always a line out of a fairytale. Sometimes it's a "I'm just gonna sit outside until you're done crying, if that's cool" or a "you know it really pisses me off when you have such a shitty attitude".
I don't always want the male characters to have all the right words to say. Sometimes I want them to panic. I want them to get overly emotional or a little too angry. I want them to say something really stupid. I want them to experience a range of emotions from confusion to worry to anger to upset. I want them to feel something and say something that isn't straight from a Hallmark card.
5. Making them sex crazed
Honestly, I think it's disrespectful to assume that no man can control himself when he sees a girl in shorts and a tank top. That's gross. That's rude. Guys aren't as shallow as we want them to be. I know a lot of people like to assume that all guys (especially teenage boys) want is sex, but that's because we're being lazy and want to pretend that guys aren't as complicated as girls.
In truth, no one is as complicated as they want to be, but that doesn't mean we can just stop trying to work things out and explore who we are and who other people are.
Besides, everyone can like sex. Why not.
6. Ignoring the nice guy
Why do they always have to start out being arrogant players? I've known a lot of nice guys. They don't have to be "boring". Hell, my best friend is the nicest guy you'll ever meet and I always have stories about all the shit that goes on with him. Being a jerk doesn't automatically make you complicated and interesting. In fact, being a jerk makes most people dislike you very much.
For once I want to read a nice guy. No, they don't have to be a complete pushover. No, they don't always have to do the right, noble things. Nice people are allowed to screw up. They're allowed to have days when they are angry or upset. But they also get to have days when they like making other people laugh or they like to make other people smile.
There is so much you can do with nice people. It's better than some broody, self-loathing asshole. So, just think about it. Not every guy has to be an arrogant jerk. Can we please have a nice one at some point?
And that's all I have, folks. What do you guys think? What do you think we should stop doing with male characters? Or, on the other end of the spectrum, what do you think we should do with male characters? I'd love to hear y'alls opinions!