"Why are you doing this?"
"You mean, why am I standing at the front door, about to ring the bell, at the address you gave me willingly?" I inquire, trying to maintain my composure even though my nerves are shot. Whose brilliant idea was this, anyway?
Oh, right? Mine. Damn.
I keep my gaze fixed ahead, staring at the wooden door before me. I'm completely out of my comfort zone, in a different town I had to reach by taking two buses. Casper, the friendly Leo, keeps trying to catch my eye, probably hoping I'll turn around and head back home where I belong.
He lets out a sigh. "What I mean is, why are you here? You should be with your family right now because nothing else should matter," he says, his voice barely above a whisper.
Finally, I turn to face him and mumble, "I'm doing this for you. I'd hope someone would do the same for me. And who knows? Maybe your next human won't be as kind."
I'm attempting to act like this whole "I have two days left" thing isn't getting to me, but it is. It's like I can't focus on anything else, consumed by how the universe has decided to repay me. Either I come to terms with my impending death and the loss of my future, or I sulk until my final day on this planet. I don't want to be sad anymore. I want to smile when the time comes, but it seems almost impossible.
He cradles my face, locking our gaze. "You have two days. No."
"I'm spending one with you. Yes."
"I'm taking you—"
He cuts off the rest of his sentence as I ring the doorbell. My heart is racing in my chest. What exactly am I supposed to say? Hi, I'm Randi, and I can see your dead son? They'll probably think I'm a lunatic.
Leo didn't have a chance to warn his family, but I do because of him. Even though it's last minute and I wish he'd informed me the day we met, I'm still thankful. It's the least I can do.
He smooths out his shirt and exhales deeply. "I wish it didn't have to be like this," he murmurs.
All I can manage is to look at him, utterly defeated, until the door swings open. It's a woman with the same blue eyes I've grown to adore, her dirty blonde hair pinned up. Her skin holds a tan hue that I imagine Leo would have if he wasn't... you know, dead. She's smiling at me, and I'm staring back. It's surreal. Leo mentioned his family a few times, but right now, I feel like I know her.
"Can I help you?" she asks, her tone gentle.
My words struggle to escape my lips. It's as if my tongue has swelled up and my nerves have taken control. I blink, taking in her beautiful face. I can see where he gets his looks from.
"Um, Mrs. Conley?" I finally manage to say.
"Yes?"
She stands next to the partially open door. I can't quite see inside, but I know it must match the exterior. Almost like something out of a movie—a stunning garden and imposing pillars. The house is massive, blending classic and modern elements.
"I, uh..." I clear my throat and swallow, "I am-was a friend of your son, Leo."
Get it together, Randi.
Her eyes light up, and she glances over her shoulder, perhaps expecting her husband. Leo's resemblance to his mother is striking, but seeing his dad? It's like looking at a mirror image. Same hair color, though not as long as Leo's. His eyes are more gray than blue, and he sports a full beard.
"Hey! No crushing on my dad, alright? I could've grown a beard, you know?" Leo jokes, and I manage to stifle a chuckle. Meeting the parents of someone who can't even see him, yet we share such a deep connection, feels pretty unreal. "Can I wish for a beard? Haven't tried that yet."
Clearing my throat again, I give him a pointed look, silently asking him to dial it back. Socializing like this isn't exactly my strong suit.
"I-I'm Randi Emerson. We knew each other from...uh," I stumble, searching for the right words.
"Camp at Crystal Valley," Leo smoothly chimes in, as I repeat. Thank goodness for that. I had no clue even went to camp.
His dad swings open the door. "Please, come on in."
Flashing a smile, I step inside while he shuts the door behind me. I can sense Leo's irritation as his father closes the door on him, but his annoyance doesn't deter him from joining me inside. In the soft glow of the dimly lit foyer, I follow the couple towards the living room, my eyes drawn to the series of photographs on the wall.
There are pictures of Leo, each one capturing a different stage of his life from every grade. Some images capture the awkward charm of his toothless smiles and wild hair, while others reveal the gradual transformation. It's not until fifth grade that I see his little sister, adding a new layer to the narrative. The progression of the pictures paints a story of shared moments, memories, and the foundation of their bond.
"Our Leo loved the camera," Mrs. Conley, also known as Amanda, comments.
I watch Leo run his finger across his face and quip, "More like the camera couldn't get enough of me."
I fake a cough. "Cocky."
"Pardon?" his mother asks.
"I said you have a beautiful home." I take a seat on the couch. "I was in the area and wanted to stop by. I always told Leo I would, but I live far out. But he always had such nice things to say about you guys."
Taking a seat across from me, his father offers, "Would you like something to drink? Amanda made some iced tea."
"No, thank you, Mr. Conley."
"Please, call me Frank."
Leo joins me on my right side, chiming in, "You're missing out, Randi. Her tea... I really miss it."
I lower my head and focus on my lap. Maybe I can let him possess me to try it one last time? But how would we manage that without raising suspicions? Excusing myself to the bathroom?
A brief silence fills the room. "So, Randi, you mentioned meeting Leo at camp? Were you a counselor there as well?" Frank inquires, trying to piece together the story.
Ah, it's becoming clear now. It was a job. Got it.
I nod appreciatively. "Yes, he practically showed me the ropes, and he had this incredible knack for brightening my day even when he was having a rough one."
Frank's smile is fleeting yet warm. "Sounds just like my boy. He had a good heart. Dependable, too – a trait not so common in teenagers. He had smarts and talent, especially when it came to playing ball. I was certain he'd make a mark on the world."
I bite my lower lip, my emotions welling up. "I'm truly sorry for your loss."
Amanda's voice is soft as she adds, "Me too. Yet, there are times when it feels like he's still around. A mother's intuition, perhaps. Maybe his presence was just incredibly strong, but it's as though he's still a part of our lives."
"I'm right here, Mom!" Leo interjects, but I'm too overwhelmed to respond. "I'll always be here..."
Feeling my eyes dampen, I'm grateful as Leo takes my hand, providing a comforting anchor. My lips part slowly, finding relief in his gesture.
Is someone cutting onions?
"That's heartening to hear, Randi," Amanda continues. "Not many of his supposed friends reached out after, not that they had to. But it warms my heart to know he left a lasting impact on someone else. Even though he's no longer with us, I cherish hearing stories about him."
I inch myself closer, giving Leo's hand a reassuring squeeze as an unspoken cue for him to share. Then I repeat, "He always spoke so highly of you both, saying how much his family shaped who he became. He admired you as incredible parents, even if you weren't always on the same page. Leo always emphasized how you supported him, listened to him, and loved him unconditionally."
Amanda's voice quivers. "He really said that?"
I meet her gaze squarely and nod. "Absolutely. We had a lot of conversations about our families, and he had so much to say about you. He'd tell me how he cherished those moments when you used to sing Your Song by Elton John to him, especially when he couldn't fall asleep. And it wasn't just that—he'd talk about how caring and nurturing you were, going above and beyond by making him tomato soup when he'd just cough once. You had this incredible ability to make him feel invincible, like he could conquer the world. He kept mentioning how he wanted to give you the world one day, just like the lyrics of the song. He could never put into words how much he loved you."
"I kept singing that song to him until the day he passed. He'd tease me about how off-key I sounded, but he never wanted me to stop," she says, a mix of tears and laughter in her voice. "I'm sorry."
Her husband rises to hand her a tissue, and I assure her that it's perfectly fine to let her emotions out. "I'm not sure if whatever he said about me can match up to that," Frank remarks with a shaky smile. "I've always said she's an incredible mother."
I chuckle. "Oh, he had a lot to say about you, Frank."
He lets out a good-natured sigh. "Oh boy, maybe I should take a seat, then?"
With Frank settling into his seat, I turn my attention to him. "Leo said that you guys used to have your fair share of arguments. He described you as the strict parent, always keeping tabs on him. He mentioned how you watched his diet, his activities, and never seemed to ease up. He even joked that he thought you'd continue bossing him around even when he turned sixty. We both had a good laugh about that." Frank lowers his head, shaking it with a mix of nostalgia and amusement.
"But, in the last conversation I had with him, he told me something amazing. He said he finally understood why you had those expectations for him, and it was his favorite thing about you. Your drive to push him to excel in everything he did, he loved that. When he was little, he wanted nothing more than to make you proud. Your pride in him meant the world, and he considered you his best friend, even after Bea came along. Those long talks, fishing trips, and practices were some of his best memories. And whenever he was out there playing, he would search for you, and you were always there. You said you could count on him, but he was just as certain he could always count on you."
Frank pinches his nose, trying to hide his emotions, but his reddened face gives away his feelings. A tear escapes my eye, and I can sense Leo's emotions intertwining with mine as he guides my words. He's hurting, and so are they. But I know my presence here brings them the peace they've been longing for.
Taking a deep breath, Frank composes himself. "We had a bad argument just hours before the crash, and for months, I've been tormenting myself over it. I wish I had told him to be careful. That I loved him."
"He knows. Trust me, he knows," I assure him.
Amanda reaches for my hands, mustering a smile. "Why didn't you come sooner? You've truly brightened my day."
I meet her gaze warmly. "I lost my dad a year ago, and it's been a tough on me. I lost a part of myself as well. I can understand how much it means to have someone come and share how wonderful a person he was. You never know when it's the last time you'll see someone, and I really wanted both of you to know."
Once the emotions in the room calm down, I get up to leave, but Amanda brought out the photo book. She showed me more pictures of baby Leo, and even more of him at baseball games with his father around the country. After the first book, I snuck off to the bathroom and let Leo take over. I still can't get used to our bodies joining, but the first thing he did was ask for tea. He wasn't lying — it's amazing. They kindly take me on a tour of their home, though I'm unable to meet Bea. Leo assures me she's an engaging character, shaping into an amazing individual as she grows.
I feel a deep sense of honor, allowing Leo to spend more time with his family, while I sit quietly, observant. Although he plays my role skillfully, I can't help but notice that he's creeping his mother out because he keeps staring, and reaching out for her.
They extend an invitation for dinner, but I have to get back home and come to terms with my own death. In another life, I hope to have met them because they're such welcoming people.
"It was so nice meeting you, Randi. Thank you. Thank you for this," Amanda says, pulling me into a hug. It lasts longer than it should've because it's Leo, and I can feel how much he's longing for them. "Please don't be a stranger."
Leo hugs his father next. "You take care of yourself, alright? Whenever you're in town again, stop by."
With a parting glance, I add, "It's not goodbye, but rather, see you soon."
As we begin to walk away, Amanda's voice trembles with surprise, "W-what did you say? Where did you hear that?"
I run my fingers over my camera's edges, my trusty sidekick since I was little. Its weathered leather casing holds stories within every shot. It's seen my life, the highs and lows, captured in every frame. And now, it's time to pass it on. I've got the perfect person in mind, someone who can spin their own tale just like I did.
Sniffling, I raise my hand to tap on Avery's door. Since we're all still very much grounded, it's pretty easy to track each other down.
"Come in," she hollers from the other side.
Stepping inside, I leave the door cracked as I take a good look around her room. Unlike Amara, with her never-ending crushes on celebrities, her walls are covered with influential women. Okay, fine, it's mainly just Michelle Obama and Taylor Swift. There's a bunch of quotes and affirmations plastered alongside her many achievements.
I'm going to miss her so much.
"Are you as bored as I am?" she says, lifting her head from a textbook. "Want to help me study? Statistics? Totally understandable if you bail, because what the hell?"
I manage a forced chuckle. "Maybe later? I actually came to give you something."
Her eyes sweep over my tall figure. "Your camera?"
Glancing down at my hands, I mutter, "How'd you figure it out?"
"Unless you're about to hand over a kidney or some part of your body, the camera's the only thing in your hands, babe."
Valid point.
I clear my throat and sit on the edge of the bed, facing her. "I want you to have it, but one condition?"
My sister pushes her hair to one side, her eyebrows knitting in curiosity. "Back up, little sister. Why are you giving me your camera? You don't do anything without that thing." I'm assuming it clicks because she rolls her neck back and parts her lips, as her movements slow down. "Does this have something to do with you thinking you're dying?"
Another very valid point. She's on a roll.
"Avery..."
"Does it? What are you doing?"
I sigh, shifting my gaze away from her eyes. "Doing what I have to, Avs. I'm just preparing myself for whatever happens. Either you accept it and never stop taking pictures for me, or you let me give it to someone else."
"Sure, Randi, I'll take it. But it's unnecessary. I'll hang onto it until I prove you wrong. And when that happens, you owe me a photoshoot. Unlimited pictures. Any location, outfits galore. Do we have a deal?"
I give a nod and a smile. "Deal. Just promise you won't let it gather dust on your shelf. I'm handing it over because I know you'll keep snapping away for me. I've got a thing for flowers and—"
"Taking creepy pictures of people talking. I know you, girl."
"It's not creepy! It's beautiful, capturing those real emotions, all unguarded."
My sister bursts into laughter. "Until you get caught and have to pay fines, or worse. But hey, I'll channel my inner creepiness for you."
I playfully roll my eyes. "I appreciate that. I'll be back in a flash to be your study buddy."
Stepping away from her bed, I head toward the door. "Do you want me to stay with you tonight? I still have faith you'll be alright, but I'm here if you need me."
"I'd love that," I reply.
Stepping out of her room, I make my way downstairs to find my mother seated at the dining room table, her focus locked on her laptop screen. An array of papers are all around the table, and those glasses hanging on her nose tell me she's fully engrossed.
She doesn't immediately look up as I approach. "Mom, do you have a moment?"
"Uh..." She hums softly, clicking a few more times before lifting her glasses and focusing on me. "Of course, sweetheart. What's on your mind?"
Her eyes hold a mixture of worry and attention. "Nothing big. Just wanted to give you this," I utter, sliding the bracelet off my wrist. I made it a few years ago, and it's special because it has all of our initials on it. Dad used to wear it every single day, even though it's kinda girly. After we sorted through his things, Mom decided to pass it on to me, and I promised myself I'd keep it safe, no matter what.
It's as if her entire presence goes still, like she's frozen in time. She accepts the jewelry, cradling it in the center of her palm. "And why's that, dear? I could never take this from you."
I muster a smile. "I want all of us to have it. Dad would want that. Can't we take turns, and you just keep hold of it for now, please?"
She rises from the table and steps toward me. "Am I missing something?"
I shake my head, a tear threatening to escape. "No, not at all! For a whole year, I held onto every trace of his just to feel close to him again. I couldn't stand life without him, but that was selfish. We all lost him, and I want you to wear it, Mom. Please?"
A soft whisper escapes her lips, her voice quivering. "You make me so proud. Your heart is so big. Of course, I'll wear it for as long as you want me to."
A huge, wobbly grin stretches across my face. "Thank you."
"No, thank you, sweetheart. He cherished this bracelet, believed it brought him good luck. It was with him when he got that job, so I'm hoping it'll lend me a hand with this case I'm tackling."
My gaze stays locked on her as she slides the little keepsake onto her wrist. She gives me a smile, displaying it as if for a fashion show, and I feel a pang of emptiness on my own wrist. But it looks just as perfect on her as it did on my dad and me.
"Can we do a movie night tomorrow? No work, no phones—just us?"
"That sounds like a great idea, Randi. It's been a while since I sat through a movie. I work too much, huh?"
I agree, even though somebody has to keep the lights on. "Chinese food?"
"You got it. And let's make movie night a regular thing from now on. Soon enough, I won't have my girls around. You'll all be out there starting your own chapters and living your own stories."
Little does she know, my chapter is about to come to a close.
I start to turn away, wounded, but I halt myself. Bolting toward her, I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. I want to hold onto this moment forever.
My mom rubs my head and trails her hand down to my back. "What's gotten into you, young lady?"
I cling to her, reluctant to let go. "I just need you to know how much I love you. Every little thing you've done for me, I cherish it all. You're an amazing mom, and I'm beyond grateful for all these years together. The past year may have been rocky, but I'm sorry for shutting you and the twins out. I love you so much."
She pulls back slightly, lifting my chin. "No apologies necessary. You needed your time to grieve, and that's alright. Grief takes its own path, Randi. You've made me a proud mother. All you girls have. I'll always be thankful. So, don't say sorry. Just give me an extra-long hug."
Doing as she says, I squeeze her, savoring the embrace. Her chin rests on my head, and it's a beautiful moment. It should have happened sooner, before my time runs out, but at least it's happening now. She deserves the world for all her hard work, and maybe I didn't see it before, but I sure do now. Crystal clear.
"Did I miss a party or something?" Amara pops up out of nowhere.
I shrug. "No. Just felt like giving Mom a hug."
"Gross," she says jokingly. Or at least I hope she's joking.
"Don't be a buzzkill. Get in here," Mom chimes in, removing her arm to motion for Amara. "Randi made me realize we're short on time, and it's important we become a family again. My work's had me in a trance, and I understand how much you girls need me around."
Amara grins, teasingly saying, "Double gross. Did you forget you grounded me? I hold grudges."
In a heartbeat, my sister opens her arms wide, pulling us both into a tight group hug. It's all laughter and smiles, even though I find myself buried in Amara's armpit. We're only missing Avery, but I can hear her music playing in her room, helping her study.
When we finally let go of the embrace, I reach behind my neck and unclasp my necklace. It's the last piece of the puzzle. The final treasure, perfect for Amara. A delicate silver necklace with a heart pendant at its center. Dad gave it to me on my tenth birthday, and even though we all had matching ones, Amara lost hers and was heartbroken for weeks.
"Try this on," I say, stepping closer to her, necklace held high.
Without hesitation, my sister turns around, lifting her hair so I can clasp it. Once it's in place, she runs her fingers over the heart and releases her hair.
I stare at her neck, my eyes misting with tears. I feel so empty, but so full at the same time. Overwhelmed. My chest is tight, my knees unsteady, but I can't back down. At least I know my family will carry a part of me everywhere. In every adventure they embark on, every challenge they face. I'll always be there, in spirit.
Exhaling, I whisper, "I love it."
"Me too, but why's it on my neck?"
"Randi's feeling generous today, Mar. She wants us to share Dad and take turns," Mom explains for me. "I got the bracelet."
Amara grins. "Well, what do you have?"
"Memories."
And pretty soon, him.