I have no idea what's going to happen I'm making this up as I go along.
Its continued on from last chapter.
Also I know James hasn't been explored but James will be explored in another chapter. I want to give them their own chapters.
"I dont know if I can"
Lorenzo wanted Alex to open up but he didn't want to pressure him. He saw Alex looked conflicted.
"If I tell you something you will put together everything" Alex whispered.
"But you want to tell us as much as possible? "
"Yes but I don't want you to get angry right now" Alex whispered again. He was still getting used to hugs by others and although Lorenzo had hugged him before, he found himself feeling safer in this hug mostly because he knew Lorenzo more now and maybe he was ready to open up a little more.
"I don't want the hug to end" he quietly admitted.
It suprised Lorenzo and he knew Alex was feeling vunerable especially if he admitted that.
"You can tell me anything Alex. This hug won't end until you want it to" Lorenzo said.
"I'm a criminal. I don't deserve a hug " Alex broke down , he hurried his head into Lorenzo's t-shirt and started to cry. He didn't dare look at Lorenzo. He didn't want to see the hate.
"What have you done" Lorenzo asked hugging him tighter for comfort. He was curious about what Alex had done.
"I was a drug dealer. And one night I had no choice. They pulled a gun on me and I panicked. I stole a knife from his friend and I stabbed him. He didn't die but I stabbed him." Alex said, he was fully crying into Lorenzo's shirt now and the tears wouldnt stop.
"Its okay, you're okay now. You do deserve this hug" Lorenzo said.
He was angry. Not at Alex, he was angry at whoever made him deal drugs.
"You're okay Alex I'm not angry with you" Lorenzo repeated.
"What if I told you I hurt alot of people. Not on purpose and I didn't hurt them severely but I did it to protect Skye and James" he whispered through tears , he was still crying.
"Alex can I ask you a question" Lorenzo said noticing his choice of words.
"You defended James and Skye but did you ever defend yourself"
Alex shook his head, he still didn't dare look up and he was afraid he had damaged Lorenzo's shirt by crying into it.
Lorenzo just hugged Alex tighter in response. It broke him to know Alex never defended himself.
"Why not" he asked.
"Because if I'm being hurt then they aren't. It would be selfish of me. I deserve it sometimes. Sometimes I mess up and it's deserved. And maybe if I'm in physical pain I'm more focused on that rather than the mental pain"
Lorenzo had worked out long ago they were abused and as time went on he realised the abuse was bad, but hearing Alex, he realised he truly had no idea.
No kid deserves to feel like that. He knew there would be more to come, this was only part of it.
"Its never selfish of you to defend yourself. You don't ever deserve to be in pain"
Alex wanted to believe him but he was struggling.
"What about the drug dealing and stabbing someone" he asked expecting Lorenzo to call him all sorts of vile names but each time he had opened up, Lorenzo hugged him more.
"Okay are you still dealing?" Lorenzo knew the anwser but he wanted to make it clear to Alex.
"No. I never had a choice. I promise I would never" Alex panicked slightly.
"Alex I'm not angry at you. You were forced to become a criminal. Being forced to do something is completely different if you chose to become one. I know you had no choice and I could never be angry at you for something like that"
Alex found comfort in the words. For once he didn't believe himself to be a terrible person.
"And what about the stabbing?" Alex asked.
"As a responsible adult I should tell you as it was self defense its okay" Lorenzo said and gently lifted Alex's face from his chest and made alex look at him.
"But as your brother, of course you can use any means necessary to defend yourself and I want to tell you I'm proud of you, also even if you killed him I'd still be proud because you defended yourself. And of course if you ever need someone killing I don't mind getting my hands dirty" Lorenzo said.
Alex stared for a moment and that's when he remembered his family ran the Mafia, his dad being the head of it, and Lorenzo would soon take over it.
"Its kind of late but do you want to go on a little drive" Lorenzo suggested once Alex had stopped crying.
"Okay, I won't be able to sleep anyway. I should probably change" Alex said.
Lorenzo smiled. He was happy Alex agreed. "No need, just put on one of my hoodies, we'll get going now" Lorenzo said and pointed to his walk in closet.
Alex being in joggers and a t-shirt, and Lorenzo in a t-shirt and jeans, he had been busy working so he hadn't bothered changing .
He put on his shoes as Alex went and got a hoodie. When Alex came back he couldn't help but smile.
It was one of his oldest hoodies, it was too small for him but he kept it because 10 years ago, he and Alex went out and he had been wearing that hoodie, and of course Alex had fallen asleep as he carried Alex to his room once they got back.
Lorenzo still remembered the words his brother had said before falling asleep
"Can I have this" Alex had said as he snuggled against Lorenzo.
"No. Its too big for you" Lorenzo had told him.
"I want one just like this. Its so warm."
Lorenzo never got to buy him a hoodie , the triplets were taken days later. He kept that hoodie for sentimental reasons.
"Do you like that hoodie Alexander" Lorenzo asked.
"Yeah it's really warm. It seems a little small for you."
Lorenzo smiled at that. "You can have it"
"I can't take your stuff " Alex said.
"I'll tell you, let's just get going" Lorenzo said.
Alex's shoes were on the shoe rack downstairs so once they got downstairs , Alex put them on.
"When you were little you wanted that hoodie, I told you I would get you one, you later insisted it had to be exactly like mine" Lorenzo explained as they walked to the garage.
"Did I get one" Alex asked.
"No. You were taken before I could get you one. I kept that though, I've never been able to part with that, it was the last time it was just you and I"
Lorenzo had still been in school so he was preoccupied with that and of course the triplets rarely were alone
"Do you want to know what we were doing" Lorenzo asked as they got into a car.
"What?"
"We went a nighttime drive" and with that Lorenzo set off . After leaving the garage and going down the driveway. He started to speed up slightly. Not beyond the speed limit though.
"That sounds like a nice memory" Alex commented.
"It was. You loved it when I sped up and i never could say no to you" Lorenzo said.
Alex smiled. He wished he could remember those memories.
"Well for old times sake you might as well speed up" Alex suggested.
Lorenzo glanced at him and nodded "let's just get to a place where they won't be many cars"
And they soon did. Just a long stretch dirt road.
Alex found himself feeling oddly happy. He had gone to Lorenzo not expecting to break down. He felt like a weight had been lifted, Lorenzo didn't shout or blame him, he just hugged him and listened. The hug was like unspoken love and support. Something he desperately needed. And now that weight had been lifted he wanted to just be normal.
He didn't have time to think to much because without warning Lorenzo sped up. He was used to driving at such high speed but he was alot more careful with Alex in the car. He didn't go as fast as he normally would.
Alex found himself enjoying the speed. It was like he could let go of his problems. It was just them. There was no one after him. He was free.
His guard was fully down for the first time and he had a smile on his face. "Can we go faster" he asked.
Lorenzo smiled. This was a memory he'd always wanted to relive and he finally got the chance.
They drove faster and faster. Both smiling and both unaware that despite the abuse, despite everything, in that moment, Lorenzo had his mini me back.
And when they got home. Lorenzo and Alex had smiles still on their faces.
"You have to keep the hoodie now" Lorenzo pointed out.
"Only if you get a matching one Enzo" Alex agreed.
He didn't realise the nickname until after he said it. Lorenzo paused. From the time Alex could talk he called Lorenzo, Enzo.
"I didn't mean to call you Enzo I'm sorry" Alex said not wanting to upset him.
"Its okay Alex, you may call me Enzo, I'll make an exception since you called me Enzo from the time you could speak. And yes I'll get a hoodie"
Reliving such a bittersweet memory wasnt as bad as he thought it would be.
Lorenzo was happy that his brother had let his guard down at least for tonight. He needed it. And he was suprised that the boy didn't go to Skye's room or want to check on them. He went to his own room, Lorenzo followed wanting to make sure he was okay.
"Can you stay until I fall asleep" Alex asked.
"Of course" Lorenzo agreed.
"Can we hug?" Alex asked, he had taken off the hoodie and his shoes and gotten into bed.
"Yes" and Lorenzo took off his shoes and got in bed. He let Alex cuddle him first wanting him to be comfortable.
Lorenzo never left Alex that evening. Not that he could if he wanted to because Alex was clung to Lorenzo and at first Lorenzo didn't know what to do. He didn't want Alex to freak out when he woke up but then he decided they would face that issue tommorow.
Little did he know, not once did Alex have a nightmare. He was so used to the nightmares that they didn't bother him anymore. And for once he had a peaceful sleep.
Okay so I never planned this much or anything like this. But my new favourite relationship in this book is Lorenzo and Alex.
James is probably gonna open up to Leo. As although he was close to Nico the most, Nico is only 16 so I don't think it would be fair.
I have the triplets opening up to their brothers first simply because they have always needed older siblings. Especially Alex who has always had to be the eldest and now he's sort of accepted he is not the eldest.