Yosuke's POV:
...He's not in school today.
I mean, is he for real!?
I groan, resting my head on the desk.
Yesterday was just... so fucked up.
Seriously, what was he thinking!? Just kissing me outta the blue!? It's downright creepy.
I frown inwardly.
Even still, I feel guilty that he's not in today.
But... I mean, there could be another explanation, surely?
Maybe he's ill. Maybe Dojima-san is in hospital?
Geez, I'd rather either of those then to find out that it's my fault.
...Dammit. He's the one who... who...
Fuck.
He did what he did. And it was wrong.
The last thing I expected was for him to lean in like that.
Jesus, he scared me shitless all to give me some sloppy kiss!?
I mean... fuck!
That can't count as my first kiss, right...? It can't. Surely, right?
Yeah, yeah, I know... My first kiss is at seventeen... Even worse, it was with a guy - even worse, it was with my best friend.
Ha... Best friend...
There's no way that title is gonna uphold anymore.
...It's all his stupid fault, anyway.
What, he can't get enough!?
First, it was Yukiko. Then, Kanji, and finally, me.
Christ, is he gay or not!?
He's fucked up in the head.
And... why me?
...Does he...?
Nah, I'm probably overthinking this.
He probably only did it to piss me off, to be fair.
...Can't be another reason.
~~~
Yu's POV:
Coast: clear.
Fucking finally.
I've been dying for a cool glass of water all morning.
As soon as I heard the front door close, I knew I could finally come down.
...'Cause, I mean... If Dojima sees me not at school for the second time this week... Geez, I don't even want to think about it.
I make my way over to the fridge and pour myself a glass.
It's all quiet.
I bring the glass to my lips, allowing the smooth liquid to run down like a waterfall.
After I put the glass back down, I press two fingers to my lips.
Yosuke.
I know I shouldn't have done what I did. But, honestly? I can't say I regret it.
He felt so... warm. He was so gentle - so soft.
I mean... a guy like him, you'd expect quite the opposite. Then again, maybe things would have been different if I were a girl.
First and last kiss with him, huh...?
I lean back against the door of the fridge, my hands clasped behind my back.
I miss it.
I miss him.
But I've fucked this up for good now. No more secrets; no more lies.
He knows the truth. He just doesn't like it.
...And that's just who he is, I guess.
I can't force him to see light. And I can't force myself to hide away again.
Maybe it's better this way.
I mean, Yosuke's true colors, right?
Truth be told, I always knew what his reaction would be like. But... I dunno. I just tried to have hope.
I bite my lip, pulling out my cell.
Just past 11am. 4th period.
I swallow hard.
Lunch is next, right? Meaning... I could text him then. Or... maybe I could just do it now.
I hold down the voice recorder button, my heart racing.
"H-hey, Yosuke... Um, it's just... just me... Y-you know...?" I cringe at myself, rubbing my forehead. "Uh, anyways... I just wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday. I know it was bad timing, but... I enjoyed it." I hold my breath. "A-and before you jump to conclusions, I didn't... do it because I thought you were an easy target, or anything. I did it because... I truly have feelings for you, Yosuke. And maybe I've messed up any chance we could have had to be together, but... I love you either way."
I blink a couple of times, watching as the message sends.
Oh, fuck...
~~~
Yosuke's POV:
I feel my cell buzz in my pocket. Which is weird, because I usually receive spam after school hours.
I lean down on the desk, pulling my phone out beneath the table.
Yu?
Oh, shit...
God, what does he want!?
To make me feel guilty about it? To make me the bad guy!?
I bite my tongue.
I shouldn't think this way.
But, still... He messaged me. That means... he has hope, right?
Hope that we can just... forget about what happened... Play it off as some sort of bad dream.
I really don't want to lose him.
Right now, he's... he's confused. But I'll help him. I'll fix him. I'll return him back to normal. I know he'll listen to me.
I slide my headphones up my head while Sensei looks away. I reach for the play button, when the message suddenly disappears.
Huh?
~~~
Yu's POV:
No way. Too damn risky.
I can't do this. I can't go past the point of no return.
I power off my phone before he can reply.
I have to stop this... I have to stop fantasizing about him.
He's my friend... Maybe?
Jesus... If I've fucked this up... I'll never forgive myself.
I head back upstairs to my room, laying on my futon.
I just wish he could understand.
I squeeze my eyes shut, but that doesn't stop the tears.
~~~
Yosuke's POV:
Yu
Yosuke: Yu?
Yosuke: Can u resend that msg
Yosuke: Think my fone is
actin up
"Who are you talking to?" Chie asks, joining us on the roof.
"...Yu," I sigh.
But I quickly notice Kanji coming up behind her.
Yu's... boyfriend...
Geez, that shouldn't make me feel so hurt and on edge.
"Kanji," I say.
"Huh? O-oh..." He looks away quickly.
I look at the others, who seem a bit confused at Kanji's sudden change in attitude.
"...Is he okay?" I ask.
He looks back to me before shrugging.
"...Yu-senpai's not in today?" Rise frowns. "What a bummer... I was hoping I could try and make things up to him."
"Nah, don't," I sigh. "Hey, Kanji. Come with me."
"Huh?" He frowns.
"Just... come on, man," I groan.
~~~
"...The hell do you want?" He scoffs, closing the door to the empty classroom behind him.
"I just... wanna talk."
"I don't have nothing to say to you." He folds his arms, looking away.
"What're you so pissed for!? If anything, I should be the mad one," I snap. "I mean... I just knew it. I knew he was acting so weird, and-"
"Get to the point."
"...I don't want you to be around him anymore."
"What?" He splutters.
"You're... you've..." I mumble.
"I've what? Changed him? Is that what you're gonna say?"
"Well... Yeah," I shrug.
"Jesus... You're so narrow minded, huh," he grunts.
"...I just don't like the way he is right now. You've... tricked him, or something."
"He was the one who came onto me, dipshit."
"...D-don't lie," I murmur.
"You just can't handle the fact that he's different, huh?"
"I... I was supposed to be looking out for him."
"Oh, so, it's a disease, now?" He snaps.
"I- I don't know, man..." I say. "I just... need you to back off."
"Oh, yeah? And what about what he wants?"
"He's... confused, alright? He's... lonely. He just wants someone to fill the hole, and I can be that person."
He scoffs. "You can't be that person if you want to change him so much."
"I know what's best for him."
"He's his own fucking person," he yells. "He doesn't need you dictating his life."
"...And he doesn't need you, either," I mutter.
"At least I give a fuck about him."
"And I don't!?" I scoff.
"Doesn't seem like it, huh?"
"Sh-shut up... This is all your damn fault."
"You sound like a broken record," he sighs. "You're not gonna get away with making him your puppet. So why don't you back off?"
"I'm his best friend."
"Some friend you are," he shakes his head. "It's your fault he isn't in today."
"That's bullshit!"
"You made him feel like shit, you know that?"
"...He'll get over it."
"He's embarrassed, for god's sake. He never wanted you to find out, because... well, he knew this would happen."
I bite my tounge.
"He's a good guy, Senpai. That's not gonna change."
"...Not if I don't help him."
"God, will you listen to yourself!?"
"...He doesn't mean any of this, Kanji. I know him better than anyone."
"Senpai-"
"...I'll tell him tomorrow. I'll help him, I swear it."
"...And if he doesn't come in tomorrow?"
"Then... I'll tell him the next time I see him, okay?"
"Don't do this," he groans.
"Just shut up, Kanji. It's nothing to do with you."
"Please, just think about him-"
The bell suddenly rings to signal the end of lunch.
I shake my head. "See ya."
~~~
Yu's POV:
I finally wake up, and it's past five o'clock.
Shit... I must have been tired.
I quickly check my cell.
Yosuke: Yu?
Yosuke: Can u resend that msg
Yosuke: Think my fone is
actin up
(12:52pm)
Kanji: Don't let this bring
you down, okay?
Kanji: Please, Senpai.
Kanji: Be yourself.
(1:14pm)
Chie: U okay?
Chie: Kanji n Yosuke hav
been acting all weird
Chie: Dunno what it is
Chie: Just give us a call
(1:15pm)
Yukiko: Hope you're
feeling well, Narukami.
(3:32pm)
I know I should reply. To Yosuke's, especially... But I can't deal with the embarrassment.
I mean, come on... asking someone out over text? That's just lazy...
I sigh, but then I see Kanji's name pop up on my phone.
"Hello?" I ask, answering the call.
"Senpai? Are you okay? Have you spoken to Yosuke-senpai?"
"Hm? No, why? Has something happened?" I sit upright.
"Just promise me you won't do anything stupid."
"Stupid?" I scoff.
"Don't change yourself for him, Senpai. Please."
"Why would I do that?"
"Stop messing around. I know you would."
"...What is going on?"
"Can I come over?"
I suddenly hear the front door open, and my voice becomes a whisper.
"Sorry, Kanji. My uncle's home... I'll call you back?"
I end the call without waiting for a response.
I hold my breath instinctively as I hear the stairs creak beneath his weight.
...Fuck.
His footsteps grow louder toward my bedroom door.
He's gonna kill me...
In bed, in my pyjamas... Even though basketball practice is on tonight...
As if on cue, the front door opens once more. "I'm home," Nanako calls.
I hear the footsteps come to a sudden stop. "Did you have a nice day?"
His voice seems to get more and more distant until the stairs creak again.
What the hell was that?
I mean... Why'd he wanna come in my room...?
I furrow a brow.
I bet he knows I skipped today, too. Of course he does. Detective's intuition, as he calls it.
I just don't want to face him right now.
I stare over to my window, thinking for a moment.
It can't be sneaking out if I was never in to begin with, right?
~~~
I head to Junes.
I don't know why. I am a little nervous at the thought of seeing Yosuke after yesterday, but... Maybe he's ready to talk about it...
And then I spot him.
On the food court, waiting tables.
I swallow hard as the butterflies begin to flurry.
"Don't."
An arm grips mine, pulling me back.
"Kanji?" I frown.
"Please, Senpai," he sighs.
"What... What's going on?"
"Just get home, alright?"
"Home is the last place I wanna be right now," I grunt.
"...Then how about my place?"
"I, uh..."
"What's up?"
"...I gotta say something, Kanji. But you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?"
"Of course, man," he nods.
"...I kissed Yosuke yesterday."
He looks at me for a moment. "You what?"
"I know, I know," I sigh. "I- I mean, I didn't plan on it, but..."
"...So that's why he's being so over-the-top about this," he frowns.
"Huh?"
"...Yu, please don't tell me you're gonna go over there to talk to him about it."
"Well... Of course I am," I shrug. "It was... a cool moment."
"I doubt he was thinking the same thing," he scoffs.
"No, you don't get it, Kanji. You weren't there." I can't help but smile a little. "He, uh... Kissed me back," I grin. "Just for a moment, but-"
"A moment, Senpai." He puts his hands on my shoulders. "A moment of shock."
"Come on, Kanji... Don't get jealous."
"Jealous?" He scoffs.
"Listen... I know how much you like Naoto, and-"
"This ain't got nothing to do with him," he snaps. "It's you. You're being delusional."
"Oh, come on," I groan. "I saw him, Kanji. He... liked it."
"You're only kidding yourself."
"...He left a bit sour-looking, but I can tell he was just overwhelmed."
"You have to stop clinging on to every last inch of hope you have."
"Kanji-"
"He saw us," he scoffs. "Making out. In that bathroom."
"Yeah, and-"
"And he was fucking horrified."
"It was a shock."
"He ran out of there faster than anything."
"Embarrassed."
"Stop making excuses for him," he frowns. "You know just as much as I do that going to him now is wrong."
"...It's not wrong, Kanji-" I try.
"If you wanna keep deluding yourself, be my guest. But do you really think he could love someone like you?"
I pause for a moment, swallowing hard.
Someone like me, huh...?
I feel like I'm being categorized. Like I'm put on display with the rest of my lookalikes.
I look to the ground.
...Am I really so bad to love?
"...Come on," he sighs, trying to lift my spirits. "Let's go."
~~~
thanks for reading:)
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