Song recommendations for the chapter
Rita ora - poison
Billie Eilish - Promise
Don Toliver - Private landing
Iggy azalea,Tinashe - DLNW
Billie Eilish - What was I made for ?
Jungkook - Please don't change
Shekinnah - please Mr
Taehyung - sweet night
Taylor swift -The way I loved you
Enhypen - chaccone
Isabel Larosa - older
The Weeknd - Acquinted
Ariana grande - Into you
The Weeknd - one of the girls
Halsey, G-eazy - him and i
Russ - 3:15(breathe)
|When I passed by moonlight stars in your eyes...they were shining like none of them could be mine|
3rd person pov
PublicBuzz✓
♥2450012 likes
PublicBuzz: JACKSON'S first album "Rose" has debuted at #1on the hot 100 charts! Selling over 500000 physical copies of the album within the first week. Order your.....more
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Hyunjin'slefteyebrow: 🔥
8hours ago
BillboardCharts
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BillboardCharts: Roses by Jackson surpasses 4weeks in the top five of Billboard global charts
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Soyaaa:as it should👌😌
4hours ago
"It's so unbelievable how much he's achieved since he released the album."Vanessa stated as she touched up her lip gloss using her phone camera
"He deserves it honestly," Sydney agreed rubbing her palms together,"I mean he'd been working his ass of for the past five months to get to this point .His songs are so good not to mention his live vocals being to die for."
"I totally agree,"the older nodded,"it's about damn time he gets the recognition he deserves. I can bet all my money that he might just bag the album of the year award . I'm just so proud of him"
"Me too. Rose is literally on cloud 9 because of him. At least Jackson took a break from the promotion concerts for the holidays. Rose isn't used to being away from him so they are planning to spend some time together before he leaves to go on tour " Syd said , running her manicured hand through her long curly locks.
Vanessa sighed ,"it must be hard these days , having and international RNB - popstar boyfriend and all" Vanessa sighed dramatically ,"I'm glad she's letting him do this , if it were my clingy ass , I would've packed myself in his suitcase and left with him."she joked
"Ditto. "She agreed ,"so how are you handling with this 'long distance' sneaky link of yours?" Syd asked curiously as she leaned back in the backseat of the company car.
"First of all,"Vanessa cleared her throat as she turned around to fully look at the younger," he isn't just a sneaky link Syd. He's my ..."her voice trailed off a bit as she sighed with a small smile.
Wait a minute...
"I don't know really to be honest. Yeah we did hook up and we talk a lot .We just haven't really brought up the what are we? conversation nor have we said the three words yet ."
"You really like this guy huh?"Sydney asked as she saw her friend's face flush a bit , which was quite surprising since she never got flustered when talking about a guy.
What was so special about him?
Vanessa gave a small nod as she bit down on her nude coloured lips ,"I don't think I've ever felt this way with someone. Have you ever felt all your problems literally evaporate when you hear them say your name over the phone or when they simply smile at you . The electricity coursing through your body when your hands accidentally touch or the warmth that takes over your entire body when they hug you from behind...The way I feel for him is the same way a puppy feels for their owner ..."
"....like you'd be willing to trust them blindly all your life. That weekend I spent with him felt like literal euphoria in just 72 hours ,Syd. It wasn't just about the sex , that night we talked and talked for hours , allowing each other into the other's most intimate space, it just felt right .
The conversation just flowed easily , nothing felt forced between him and I . Like soulmates that just hadn't met yet . For once in my entire life I can see myself when I look at him . When I look into his eyes I feel like we belong together , like we were fated.He is good to me , really " she sighed softly coming down from her mindless blabbering as she glanced at her friend who was staring at her in utter shock. And that's when realization struck
She slapped her hand over her mouth , her ears turning a bright shade of pink as Sydney grinned from ear to ear,"... Oh my ..." Was all Sydney could respond with. She'd never heard her talk about any man like that.
Oh she's in Love
Vanessa tucked strands of hair behind her ear as she blushed ," I said too much didn't I ?"she came close to a whisper "....I...well.."
" Awwww," Sydney cooed as her eyes literally disappeared when she smiled," my friend ,you are in love . It's so sweet! I'm literally choking on the love radiating off of you right now babe,"Sydney said happily as she stared at her love struck friend," if you think he is good to you then I definitely believe your word . Wow you are in loooooivvvvvveeee!" She sang cutely hugging her friend
"I guess I am..." Vanessa whispered, hiding her smile behind Sydney's shoulder,"I really am"
Sydney slowly parted from the older, their faces still close,"I can't wait to meet him"
"You will very soon when he comes back"Vanessa rubbed her cheeks trying to hide how hard she was blushing.
"I feel like a proud mom ,watching all my kids fall in love and grow their own little wings "she wiped imaginery tears from her eyes ," my baby's all grown up "
Vanessa crossed her arms over her chest ," as if you're not in love as well"she teased harmlessly
Sydney's smile faltered a bit as she blinked ,"what do you mean?"
"I'm your best friend Syd . I know you better than you know you. Let me explain to you what I think about your .....um...lovers...from an outsider's point of view "
" Your relationship with Luca is what I would call puppy love . Everyone literally saw cupids flying around you when you guys looked at each other. I kinda envied your relationship .It was so sweet and innocent , who wouldn't want that?Then when it ended we saw how heartbroken you were and you healed from that , I'm truly glad. You got the closure you deserved and that was great for you.."
".. but when I really think about it , I feel like Luca was more of your comforter than your lover to be honest," Sydney arched a brow at that statement. Comforter, the word had a bitter taste to it.
"Let me explain. After what happened with your family , you moved her all alone to start a new life , right? Then Luca came along . I'm not saying you didn't love him at all but I'm saying that he was your save haven , he gave you the stability you wanted . You were very dependent on him and felt like you needed him for your safety..am I right?"
"...I guess so maybe. But isn't dependence part of what makes a relationship?"
"Yes , now lemme finish.You sought the lack of affection you were deprived of by your father..from him. I'm not saying you have "daddy issues" or you didn't love him , but I'm saying that you depending on him contributed to your relationship staying in tact for all those years simply because you couldnt comprehend the thought of letting him go"
Vanessa sighed slowly," ....and then .. Let me ask you a question.....Why didn't you go back to Luca when he came back ? If he really was 'the love of your life' , why did you let him take you back? Not once did I hear you contemplating if you wanted to try again with him and it has me wondering..."
Sydney stayed momentarily silent as she fiddled with her fingers , biting her lower lip pensively. She sighed , slowly peeling her eyes away from the window and looking at her curious friend. She didn't know how to answer her friend's question.
Why didn't she let him take her back?
She glanced between her friend and the window behind her and her expression softened as she gave off the most unnoticeable smile . Vanessa woulve missed it if she wasn't studying her friend's face for so long.
" I didn't want to ," she said more to herself than her friend ,"I felt like I didn't need to be with him anymore I guess. It's not like I had just stopped loving him...but ...."
" You started to feel for someone else ,"Sydney slowly nodded fighting back a smile ,"I knew it hurt him that I fell in love with his best friend but I couldn't help it"
"You have no control over who you fall for," she stated .
" I totally understand that ," Vanessa nodded ,"do you miss him?"
Sydney nodded slowly. They both knew who they were referring to without any further explanation,"more than I thought I would . I can't help it . When I was with him I felt .... different. I felt like I could just be me and he'd be grateful for that. He said he loved me and I believed him . I fell in love , in such a way that felt like falling into a bottomless ocean , I didn't mind suffocating in that feeling. It felt , great honestly. The kind of love that literally swept me off my feet ...." She sighed , her smile faltering as she sighed
"Falling for him came so easy to me
I trusted him so blindly . It took two years for me to let Luca into my most intimate space but with Hardin I felt like it was supposed to happen. He read me like an open book and I allowed him. I fell head first and didn't even try to fight it . The words I love you rolled off my tongue naturally when it came to him because I did. I loved ...I love him .."
" but I didn't know him. He never allowed me to read him from the inside , he always ignored my interest for his past , brushing it off like it was nonsense .I didn't know the darkness that lingered in his mind . He didn't open up and I didn't want to pry . I wanted him to do that all by himself . I thought I knew him but I didn't . I didn't know he was capable of hurting me the most , simply because he left me . He denied ever loving me , simply pushing me away like those five months meant nothing. He said he was just messing with me .I still want to believe that he meant none of that. That his demons made him say that . I wanted him to tell me that he loved me but he didn't say anything and watched me walk away.He hurt me a lot , more than anyone ever did . I never realized had fallen that deep till the heartache that followed . I wanted to fight for it , desperately but he didn't want me to. He said he loved me , and I believed it. I said I loved him , but that wasn't enough for him to fight for us. ...."
"You said he hurt you by not opening up to you....by making you continuously run into a brick wall. Now I have another question," Vanessa said
"Ask away.." Sydney blinked as she stared at her fingers
" Would you do it again? Would you go through it all again ...even if the ending always stayed the same ? Would you run into a brick wall, willingly, this time around?"
Sydney glanced at her her best friend holding her shoulder , a sad smile appearing on her lips as she said ,"Yeah"she released a heavy breath , not believing her own words
But they were true ,after all.....
She stared out of the window aimlessly and whispered "you can't choose the ones you love ,V"
"You're absolutely right" Vanessa agreed as she rubbed her best friend's back comfortingly.
She didn't know Hardin that well, just the mere description from Rose but that description wasnt what she saw him or any of the other guys for. The first time she met him , she knew he genuinely loved her, she still thought so .
She still remembered the torment and hurt in his eyes when she saw him watching Sydney interact with Dayn during one of the test shoots , it couldn't have been all just a game . She was sure he meant more than just a bet.
••••••••
" I'd didn't expect so much paparazzi for an unofficial gathering," Sydney said through gritted teeth as she unclenched her fists, making her way into the venue of the annual new years eve party for Hybe.
One thing she didn't like about gatherings of influencers and social stars was the paparazzi always up in their ass , trying to find any slight mistake that could cancel them at any given time .
Sydney huffed as she shuffled between the security team , eyes nearly shut trying to save herself from blindness caused by the bright flashes of the lights . It was just too much , and it wasn't even an official event , just a get-together.
"Tell me about it," Vanessa hissed as she followed closely behind, as Sydney's plus one , sandwiched between the security crew , " you'd think for a cute little get-together, there wouldn't be so many cameras around"
" Fucking finally," Sydney huffed as she finally made it into the venue , that was already pretty packed with other hybe artist from around the city," don't these guys celebrate new years or something. I mean come on it's a holiday" she clutched her mini purse to her side as the two strutted towards one of the tables by the balcony.
" this place is the shit," Vanessa mumbled as she crossed her legged underneath the table . Vanessa's wide eyes scanned the large hall they were in .
All sorts of festive decor was placed around the tables and walls . A large bar separated the rows of tables , along with a lengthy dancefloor that wasn't really occupied since the party had just started
"I like how y'all famous people can have parties where you can be like.... normal and private ."Vanessa commented , noticing how the journalists weren't allowed in like they usually are and how they had been told that phones weren't allowed.
" I agree," Syd gulped down a sip of water , " I really am not in the mood for those nosy brats right now . " she licked her lips ,"damn I was thirsty"
"Do you want me to get you a drink?" Vanessa asked the younger as she mindlessly scanned the crowd for the tenth time
"Nah I'm good,"Sydney mumbled keeping her eyes on her friend, whose eyes where everywhere ,"....are you expecting someone?"
"Huh?"
"You seem pretty jumpy . You're eyes are literally everywhere. Is it London or.."
"No ," she hastily dismissed the idea ," he's not even around ,"
"So who are you-" her sentence was cut short when Vanessa exclaimed.
" oh look , Jackson and Rose are here!" She sounded rather too happy ,as she waved the couple over to their table," what took you so long?" Vanessa asked as soon as Rose sat down after giving the two a quick hug.
" well hello to you too" Rose replied , placing her purse on the table,"traffic jam and the fuck load of stalkers outside kept us busy"
"Oh ," Vanessa mumbled
" Are you enjoying the party?" Rose's attention was on Syd as she asked the question. She seemed a little gloomier than when they left their apartment less than two hours ago.
" we just arrived ," Sydney mumbled ," but the water is great" she joked
"You don't look very-" Rose's sentence was cut short as Jackson happily plopped down next to his girlfriend "well hello fine ladies . Y'all look cute"
"Well thank you," Vanessa flipped her hair over her shoulder ," means a lot coming from a global hit like yourself Mister"
"You sure know how to sugar someone up," Jackson chuckled as he placed his palm on his girlfriend's thigh" free food and drinks . I'm already enjoying this party" Jackson grinned leaning back in his seat as he twirled rose's hair between his slender fingers .
"Ofcourse you'd say something like that,"rose teased
"Who the fuck doesn't like free food,"Jackson shrugged eying his girlfriend subtly.
He leaned nearer to her whispering something Into her ear with a suggestive smile . Rose on the other hand didn't seem to keep her cool as her ears turned a bright red , as she hit her boyfriend's shoulder playfully.
Vanessa simply rolled her eyes , giving a snarky remark about how the two should've 'gotten a room' and the three burst into a fit of amused laughter , continuing their harmless chatter .
However, none of them noticed how suddenly quiet Sydney had become . She was subconsciously nibbling on her lower lip as she gazed off into oblivion.
She liked seeing her two friends in love . Jackson was literally the love of Rose's life , anyone could tell from a mile away that they shared an equal deep admiration for one another.
And her other best friend seemed to be genuinely In love with someone, for the first time since she had known the character .
It wasn't like the day wouldn't come where she'd watch her friends fall in love , she just didn't expect that day to be so soon. Her nude lips widened slightly into a smile , but not one that reached her beautiful brown eyes.
For the first time , in a long time, she envied her friend's happiness. It's not like she didn't like the thought of her friends being happy , no , she treasured her family's feelings more than her own . But she couldn't help but wish she had the same lovestruck gaze that they had.
She fiddled with her fingers as her eyes switched from one friend to another.
"Where's my happy ending!" The voice in her head screamed repeatedly. She couldn't be jealous of her friend's love lives, could she?
She sighed exhaustedly pinching on the skin of her palm. Am I really that undeserving of love?
Sydney's pov
"Thank you...again," I smiled weakly receiving another shot from the bartender who'd been so kind to entertain me for nearly the past two hours.
I scrunched my nose as the sweet-and-sour liquid stung my throat. I'd gotten quite used to it by then . Name of the drink? I had no idea , but at that moment it was just what I needed to quench my envy towards my best friend's love lives.
My eyes mindlessly glazed the crowd that had situated itself on the dance floor. At one end I could spot Jackson and Rose in their own little bubble , doing the cutest lil' dance together . They really were perfect for each other.
Great, just great
My gaze shifted towards Vanessa by the middle of the dance floor. Who wouldn't recognize that silver glittery gown she so gracefully wore.
My eye brows furrowed as I kept staring . Was the alcohol finally getting to me or had I just witnessed my best friend wrap her arms around a broad shouldered victim who held her by the hips .
I blinked , thrice
Had she already forgotten the" love of her life "character. I questioned, squinting my eyes.
I watched the couple as they kept their tangled bodies flowing to the rythm of the very loud music, Vanessa with the widest smile I'd ever seen.
Was she drunk? AM I DRUNK!?
I smacked my forehead , my eyes never left the guy . I could only see his gracefully structured backview but not face.
A wave of recognition swept over me. The man looked so familiar but I just didn't know where I'd seen him before. I could almost feel his name begging to be said but i couldn't figure it out!
I rubbed my sweaty palms against the thin fabric of my dress as I tossed down the last of my drink , contemplating whether to go interrupt the two.
Maybe it is the mr "love of my love".....I must be overthinking. I shrugged
I nodded , satisfied with my own hypothesis. I was definitely drunk now. I swung my legs recklessly on my stool , humming to a tune only I knew.
So this was what lonely felt like.
"Syd,"
I shook my head , eyes closed as I said,'no more drinks for me tonight Mr ...Bartender dude"I mumbled rubbing my tired eyes ," might as well go home"
"Syd,"
Just then,I felt an oddly familiar tug on my arm.
It couldn't possibly be him
I gulped , not daring to look at the man . Maybe if I stayed like this then he won't disappear, like every other time he did when I looked into his beautiful brown eyes.
3rd person pov
She remained frozen till she felt her chair being rotated to face the one person she'd been longing for.
Just as she expected, the moment her eyes opened, she was met with the familiar ones she often got lost in . It wasn't the usual nonchalance and unphased stare he sent her way , it was more of relief and genuine.... happiness (?)
She had built up so much to say during the time he was away and now that he was actually in front of her , she was rendered speechless
Just as she had opened her mouth, it closed again, nothing to say. All the alcohol had perished from her system by that time.
"You," it came out breathy and shocked . But it was all she could say as she took him in.
He still looked the same, but different. He looked refreshed yet strained . Happy yet gloomy . Perfectly put together, but falling apart. He had gotten leaner but still the same glorious body she craved on rainy days. His face still so handsome it'd be considered a sin
He was there , in his full glory.
His facial expression faltered ,"yeah..me"he said now uncertain of his actions. He looked down at his palms that we're now shaking . She didn't respond, just kept staring
She wanted it to be him , didn't she?
"Umm.." Syd stuttered , glancing everywhere but at Hardin.
She doesn't want you here , a sickeningly sweet accusatory tone echoed in his mind. He clicked his tongue ofcourse she wanted Dayn to be there.
"I'm surpr-"Sydney's sentence was cut off short when Hardin got off the chair.
He smiled faintly, one that didn't reach his eyes ,"you didn't want it to be me, Did you? It's fine, I'll be out of your space"
"No that's not -" he was already engulfed by the crowd by the time she spoke out
She didn't have enough time to think straight as she mindlessly stumbled off the stool , in hot pursuit .
She barged through the crowd ,eyes on his figure that had already walked out of the hall. She huffed out as she stopped outside the crowded room. She turned her head to the right when she caught a glimpse of his figure disappearing around the corner.
I wanted it to be you,her mind screamed as she speed walked after him since she couldn't really run in her stilettos. If only she had said so to begin with , she wouldn't be on the verge of losing him ,again.
She turned right in the direction she'd seen him go , slowing down her breath as she gazed at nothing. She sighed loudly
Where did he go?!.
She walked through the open balcony doors ,welcoming the cold air . She gazed at the stars above her and her shoulders dropped
"He's not here...,"she whispered to herself as she hugged herself.
At least that's what she thought ,until she suddenly felt a pair of arms strongly wrap around her smaller frame , from the back. Her panicked eyes turned behind her only to meet with the same beautiful hazelnut brown eyes .
She saw the small smirk painted across his pink lips and her expression turned from panicked , to relieved , to confused, to pissed.
"You..."
"I knew you'd come after me ,"Hardin's angelic voice spoke softly nuzzling into Sydney's hair .
That was until she quickly pulled away from him , turning around fully so she could face him. Only then did he noticed the angry look on her face and that was all it took for him to burst into a fit of joyous laughter .
Sydney forced herself to remain unphased, ignoring how her heart literally leapt out of her chest at the sound of the laughter that haunted her daily .
"Do I look like a fucking joke to you ," Sydney burst , pushing at his chest , barely making him move. She huffed , crossing her arms over her chest , looking away from him.
"Is this funny to you?!,"she whined,"I thought you left , you idiot"
He laughed even louder at her cute little frame and puffed cheeks , he had missed her.
"I had fucking missed you and you decided to play a prank on me! I thought you left me" Sydney blurted out mindlessly
She only realized how she had exposed herself when she made eye contact with him
His laughter dialed down, replaced by his genuine boxy smile . He had that little twinkle in his eyes , his perfect teeth on full show as he too realized what she had said.
All the anger dissipated the moment she saw Hardin take small steps closer to her , his upper body hovering over hers as he looked down at her, with an intense gaze that made her feel weak in the knees.
When was the last time I felt that?.
"Awwee , babe ...You missed me?" Hardin's voice came out as genuinely surprised as he leaned down so they were on the same level , making Sydney feel more flustered.
"Yeah," Syd said , trying to be as nonchalant as possible,"kinda the whole reason I came after you , y'know "she crossed her arms over her chest
Her gaze never left her feet as she saw the older shuffle closer to her , his slender hand taking hold of hers , intertwining their fingers. His warmth enveloped her , good kind of butterflies
Oh god
"I'd missed you too baby,"the handsome man smiled with his eyes , liking how timid Sydney had gotten all of a sudden," I thought of you everyday while I was away. The first thought in the morning...and the last before I closed my eyes once again at night . I missed you so much" His other hand reach out to brush the side of her face before tucking curly strands of hair behind her ear.
"How've you been ," Hardin asked as he slithered his arms around her small waist , bringing her so close that their breaths were tangled together, their foreheads nearly touching
"I've been ..okay,"she lied through her teeth , avoiding eye contact.Right now she couldn't think straight . His presence alone was intoxicating .
She wasn't going to spill out how much she'd missed him and craved for his sensual touches . She wasn't going to tell him ;how bad she wanted to hear from him , how much she thought about their last kiss , how bad she wanted to call him and wish him a happy birthday the exact night before.
"Liar," he practically saw right through her ,"you don't have to tell me baby . I know what I need to ,"he whispered next to her ear before teasingly brushing his nose against her neck before pulling away completely.
"How was your trip ," Sydney asked , shifting from one foot to the other
"It was good actually," he smiled at her ,"I would've wanted you to be there though"
He pulled her with her arms leaning against the railing of the balcony , showing a magnificent view of the city .Of course he himself was a breathtaking view.
The way the moonlight glazed his caramel skin ,the way in glistened a bit with every movement. His perfectly sculpted face, jawline outlined by the gray light. He was ethereal, he could have been a figment of her imagination due to his beauty. A fictional character pulled straight from a Twilight film.
He pulled her between his long legs . Hardin checked her out openly , the small smile on his lips ever-present ,"you look beautiful, as always"
Sydney glanced down at her feet , feeling more exposed by the second. Why was she feeling like a teenager Infront of her crush again,"um....thank you",was all she could manage to say. Hardin thought it was cute.
"No need,"he smiled lazily,taking off his glittery blazer , leaving him in a silky white shirt and black slacks , he looked so sexy , it should've been considered a sin.
Oh lord
He placed the expensive blazer over her bare shoulders," it's cold outside. I don't want you catching a cold,"his nose brushed against hers . She unconsciously leaned a bit closer , biting her lips anxiously as he backed away teasingly," plus I like you wearing my stuff. But I love it when you don't have anything on "he whispered.
She didn't know if it was the alcohol kicking in or whatever reason, but the tension between them was like walking on thin ice . All she could focus on was how his tongue darted out , licking his bottom lip before lapsing over the top .
God help me , she mentally slapped herself from thinking such things at that moment.
"Um,"she cleared her throat, looking at everything else but him ,"I wanted ...I wanted to wish you a happy birthday yesterday.....and I guess-"
"You could always just do it now," he nudged her chin with his slender index. His intense brown eyes stared into hers , slightly hooded ," and you could always make it up to me, one way or another" he chucked , pulling her closer that her palms were laid flat against his chest.
Sydney was practically burning at that moment, and Hardin's hot touch against her naked back wasn't helping much .
She was convinced she had reached peak drunkenness because all she could think of was his hands roaming other parts of her body . She could practically feel the heat between her legs grow by the second.
She let out a shaky breath as looked up at him from her long lashes,"...um ..it's almost midnight," she realized , nervously biting her lips . She hadn't noticed how intensely Hardin had been staring at her velvet lips .
"Yeah...,"he mumbled , forehead leaning against hers as they made eye contact. Not the kind of eye contact that made someone feel like a Taylor swift song , but one that made angry butterflies swarm around in Sydney's stomach as she rubbed the thighs together. She knew that look , in fact she had a similar one on her face in that moment.
"Is there..... anything you would like to wish for ?"she asked , her sultry voice making him almost moan out . The ice was already broken at this point , there was no going back.
"Well there is..."his voice trailed off , his slick fingers playing with the threads at the back of her short dress . His lips were ghosting hers as he smirked , lust filled eyes staring at her cleavage peeking out from her dress.
"And what might that be ,"Sydney bolding asked , fingers tracing the vein at the side of his graceful neck.
"Cut the bullsht babe,"he chuckled deeply , pulling her closer to the point where their lips were brushing against each other,"don't play dumb with me"he murmured biting on his lips.
"I genuinely don't know what you'd want,"she couldn't help but smile innocently hiding her eyes behind her curly bangs .
His hands slid down and stopped on her lower back , he shamelessly gropped her ass , admiring how her surprised expression turned to a more lustful one . Her glossy lips slightly open , her eyes fluttering shut as she suppressed a moan .
His other hand sneakily traveled to the valley of her breast , index playing with the low vline of the dress . His fingers not so subtly brushed against her erected bud.
He hummed as his lips brushed against her chest teasingly,"...is there anything you would like to wish for ?" He asked as his hand that was previously at her lower back , reached the hem of her dress , pulling it up a bit.
Sydney, completely drunk dazed by his touch nodded ,licking her lips ,"uhuh..." She confessed
Fuck composure
His hand snuck under her dress , his fingers burning where they touched as he drew patterns slowly on the skin of her inner thigh , a few inches from where she desperately wanted him to touch ,"and what would that be ?" He tossed back the question as their lustful gazes met .
"I want you .." her voice trailed of as she lightly kissed the corner of his lips ,"I want .....I want you to fuck me senselessly ,like I'm yours " her voice came out as breathy as both of them gripped the back each other's necks , smashing their lips together hungrily as they kissed hungrily.
About damn time
It was sloppy , heated and under the influence but none of them cared as their hands roamed each other's bodies . Sydney moaned as his tongue slipped into her mouth , tangling with hers as her hands gripped his hair desparately. His lips were like a drug . The more she took , the more starved she felt.
He sucked on her lower lip as one of his hands gropped her firm breast , making Sydney moan loudly.
"Keep it quiet babe,"Hardin teased as he bit down on her lip softly before licking it ,"we'll get caught"
"Fuck ,"Sydney cursed , grabbing onto Hardins free hand , looking at his luscious lips,"I like the thrill of getting caught babe" she moaned as she led his free hand underneath her dress , between her legs
He looked down at her , cocking a brow ,"what do you want from me ," he kissed her in between his words ,"I need you to tell me"
"Touch me ,"Sydney whispered,rubbing herself slowly against his hand . She had already soaked her panties by then ,"please," she begged , leaning into his touch.
At those words , this skillful fingers pushed her panties aside before moving his middle finger against her slit , painfully slow . He circled her clit roughly , watching as her mouth opened slightly. He always loved how easily he could make her body react, like it was meant only for him to touch.
"Oh god," her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she held on to his shoulders ,"show me how much you want me Hardin, please" she gulped .
He circled her entrance, watching how her eyebrows furrowed in pure ecstasy. She was already dripping wet ,because of him. It was taking him all of his willpower not to bend her over and take her by the railing, right there and then .
He'd had enough of teasing . He slid his middle finger into her ,slamming it all the way in ,before pulling out and repeating the routine.
"Fuck ..r-right there!" She moaned moving herself against his fingers as she met his sinful thrusts . He wasn't in a hurry , he wanted to feel every second of this intimate moment with her . His fingers worked slow but with powerful thrusts , just how she liked it.
"I know how you like it ,"he smirked , gripping her throat as they made out sloppily under the stars .
He entered another finger inside of her meowing pussy as he finger fucked her senselessly ,completely ignoring the fact that anyone could walk in on them .
He'd always known she was beautiful, but right now , she was the most enthralling being he'd ever laid his eyes on. He curled his fingers inside her , watching in pure bliss as she clenched around him . He knew she was close.
He used his free hand to drop the straps of her dress underneath his blazer, undressing her top half , staring at her now naked breast and erected nipples . Beautiful.
He pulled away from her lips , latching onto her erected bud with his warm moist lips , a series of loud moans leaving her lips as he sucked harshly before licking around her nipple .
At the same time , his pace quickened as he slammed his fingers against her g-spot continuously, thumb pressed against her clit , circling it rapidly .
Sydney's head was in the clouds , almost forgetting her own name at the indescribable sensations she was feeling all at once. She couldn't think straight and had completely forgotten the whole reason she hadn't communicated with him over the past two months.
"Fuck I'm cumming,"she mumbled riding his fingers . That didn't stop his quick thrust as he pleasured her.
"Then fucking cum for me, Syd,"he hummed against her breast , ,"fucking cum for me"
Her thighs clenched as she felt her orgasm hit her like a tone of bricks . Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she came onto his hand whilst he helped her ride out her high.
"That's right baby," he kissed her deeply , gripping the back of her neck to keep her there as they made out .
He eventually pulled out of her , gripping her ass harshly as he rubbed her front against his hardening member . Her palms reached in between them , palming his bulge underneath his slack .
He hissed when she pulled away from him, taking him by the hand as she lead him to the chair by the balcony doors .
He lust filled gaze never left his as he pushed him slightly, making him sit down on the chair before sitting on his lap .
"I'd missed you,"she whispered before leading his hands to her ass , which he massaged as he leaned in , kissing her sensually.
He squeezed her neck slightly as they made out slowly and deeply , her swollen lips moving against his. She moaned quietly ,as she rubbed her overstimulated self against his throbbing erection .
He gabbed her ass , slapping it as he guided her against him. The two made out in their own little bubble , grinding against each other as the only sounds to be heard were Sydney's moans along with Hardin's grunts.
"Fuck it , I can't take this anymore.I want to take you , here , now" Hardin's raspy voice vibrated against her lips
" there's nothing stopping you"she grinded against him , her hips meeting his with a beautiful rhythm,"nothing at all. Take me anywhere you want" she bit his lip slightly before slipping her tongue into his mouth leaning in desperately.
"You want that don't you,"he mumbled between kisses,"I know you want me to bend you over right there by the balcony, and fuck you from behind . I know you want me to make you scream my name , to cry as I make you cum for me ,"he kissed her jaw ,"over and over , and over again,till you can't fucking walk ," then kissed her neck .
"Yeahh...."she almost moaned at the thought .
Just then , there was the loud crack of fireworks above them as the people on the floor beneath them yelled and celebrated a new year .
Sydney smiled against his lips , kissing him before she whispered,"happy new year"
"Happy fucking new year ,"he responded, pampering her face with butterfly kisses which made her blush .
"You wanna get outta here?"
She could only nod as Hardin lifted both of them off the chair , Sydney wrapping her legs around his waist to keep herself balanced.
°°°°°°°°°°
Their lips stayed locked as they made it past the kitchen . Syd had no idea how they'd managed to get home safe , considering how handsy they had been during the drive there . Hardin held her up by her thighs as he kicked open the door to the bedroom.
Once they got in , he locked the door before lightly slamming the younger against it , grinding against her. It was dark since they hadn't really bothered turning the lights on but they didn't give a damn , in fact , it only made the moment better. The only light was the lamp by the mirror , dimly lighting the area.
Sydney's hands were tangled in his hair as they kissed. His hands snuck under her dress , groping her naked ass . Sydney moaned into the kiss , pulling him closer using her ankles .
"You're feeling quite bold today ,"Hardin mumbled as he felt Sydney unbutton his shirt skillfully whilst he took her dress off , leaving her in her panties and bra.
He carried her over to the full body mirror in front of her bed before gently putting her down on the carpeted floor . He kissed her lips ,the tip of her nose , her cheek, her forehead , leaning down to her lips , capturing them slowly before pulling away with a smile.
He lifted her chin with his index ,"you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen baby,"he whispered kissing her neck , her collar bone before sucking gently ,"I'd like you to see yourself from my point of view"
She felt warmth envelope her from his words , the rawness and honesty in his voice made her feel that angry swarm of butterflies invade her insides. She was touched by his words and the warm sensations of his wet tongue doing wonders under her jaw as he turned her around to fully face the mirror.
She stared at her reflection , raw and half naked . Hardin hovered over her , his hands gripping her waist tightly as he worked on her neck , showering her with open mouthed kisses.
"I want you to see what I see everytime I have you ," he hummed , running his nose against her neck teasingly slow.
Her cheeks were flushed , words stuck in her throat as his hands travelled up from her waist , to the clasp of her bra . She made eye contact through his reflection in the mirror.
That gaze could have her falling to his will in a second. She watched his skillful fingers working on the clasp of her bra . Upon feeling it loosen , she looked down timidly.
"I knew it," Hardin spoke from behind her . She looked up to meet his gaze ,"you ? Insecure? You cant be serious," Hardin held her bra in place , gripping her chin softly so she wouldn't look away . He had a soft gaze as he smiled faintly at her.
"I don't know if you understand this ," Hardin's thumb brushed her lower lip slowly , his hooded eyes never leaving hers ," ..but you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen , baby" he said very slowly , making sure she heard very single word.
She could literally feel herself heating up at how intensely his eyes bored into hers , as if he wanted his words to be fixed into her mind," I don't mean just your body . I mean you. I see what nobody else looks for after they see your face and body. I see what's beyond the outside and that's what makes you the most beautiful person out there to me baby " he whispered the last statement before kissing her deeply , hands tangled in her curls
"And you should always know that," he said pulling away from her , she stared back at her reflection along with his in the mirror. His perfect slender fingers unclasped her bra ," I need you to trust me"
She didn't respond, simply letting the bra fall from her body and onto her carpeted floor. This time she didn't look away , as his large palms replaced the bra . He gropped her firm breast slowly , his lips kissing her shoulder , nipping and sucking , occasionally leaving a mark .
He twisted her nipples between his fingers ,leaving open mouthed kisses behind her ear ," so fucking beautiful" he whispered, staring at her lustful expression via the mirror.
"I want you to see the beauty you display everytime I have you , I want you to see what pushes me over the edge every single time ,"he groaned as he rubbed himself against her ass
She arched her back , pushing her breast against his skillful hands as she grinded against him. It was like her body had been in a trance all these months he was away , only to be awakened by him once again .
" Fuck, yeah," she moaned as she moved against him , feeling his bulge grow by the second . She wanted him.....she needed him.
He squeezed her breasts hard , making her moan loudly , only turning him on more," I don't think I can hold off much longer," he grunted , one of his hands leaving her chest and sneakily making their way to her soaked panties
"Please don't ," she hummed as she felt him play with the hem of her underwear.
She glanced at him through the mirror to see him smiling , "do you really want this babe ? " he whispered softly , pampering her jaw with the most gentle kisses," I ...i can stop if you want to " he rubbed her stomach lightly as he stared at her . It wasn't anything sexual, more like comforting and soothing .
It wasn't as If he didn't want this , fuck he did. But he wanted her to be sure of how things would change from how they were when they left. He didn't want her to feel like she being used for his pleasure.
Sydney nodded her head , eyes shut from impatience ," yeah," she bit her lip ," it's just sex ." She mumbled , fidgeting under his touch . Her mind was too clogged with lust to notice how his face dropped at what she just said .
Hardin's POV
Just sex?
I remember a couple years back ,when I had first said that same statement to a woman. I remember the hurt that flashed through her eyes , and the drop of her face. I knew she was hurt
At that time I didn't care about how she had felt upon hearing that because to me it had just become sex , a coping mechanism to temporarily quench my demon's thirst.
I openly had told her and those that came after, that there were no feelings involved and I never felt guilty about it . However , they never quite comprehended that and ended up getting hurt , whilst I remained unphased.
But now , the roles had switched. I hadn't felt that kind of pain in my chest in a very long time. Those words she had just said felt like daggers plunging into my heart and head .
Maybe I was the one overthinking and she didn't mean it like that. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment. But I did wonder , was it just a statement or was she being real with me .
It isn't just sex to me . Not with you...
Of course I remember how much I hurt her a couple months back and I felt like shit for letting my demons get the best of me and lashing out at her. Maybe she had had enough of me emotionally and wanted the thrill of making love with me, not actually loving me
She just wanted what's between your legs , I told you!
My throat was getting tighter and my hands were shaking . It hurt honestly , maybe I had made her not want me anymore , just the sex .
I guess she really just means sex at this point.
Yet looking at her through the mirror in front of us ,right her and right now in the intimate space , she was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I gulped , pulling her small frame closer to me , savouring her sent that felt like home ,"yeah...." I croaked
So this was the game we were playing now.
|I'm trying to breathe. I'm not in love it's just the game we do . I tell myself I'm not that into you .Now I don't wanna sleep ,it's 3:15 . You're in my head|