Sirius sat anxiously on a log, listening closely. He wanted to transform, but he didn't dare to. He didn't know how long it took the animal form to heal once it had been on the edge of death as he'd been... He wished he could ask McGonagall, but he knew it would be a long while before he could ask her anything.
But maybe one day, he comforted himself, I will be able to. Thanks to Harry and Hermione. One day.
His wounds were still bloody. He found a small bag tied 'round Buckbeak's neck and in it he found his wand and some food. A block of some cheese, an apple, and some sandwiches. He didn't know where the food had come from - how Harry and Hermione possibly could've gotten his wand and tied it to Buckbeak's neck, or any myriad of questions he had about the little package, but he was entirely too grateful to ask questions of it. He crouched in the shadow of the trees, shoving bites of roast beef sandwiches into his mouth eagerly, sharing bits of the meat with Buckbeak.
He let his mind wander while he ate, thinking of what he might say to Remus when they were alone together. Would there be a lot of apologizing and such or would things be just like old times rather quickly?
He was nervous, he didn't know what to expect. And hadn't Remus mentioned that he'd been with a friend when they were talking? What if the friend was something more? What if Remus had things to take care of? What if in the heat of the moment, Remus had said things he didn't mean - things like... that they were still married? And if they were still married... what would that look like? Did he dare to dream that it might look... domestic and normal? Or at least as close to that as an ex-convict and a gay werewolf could get anyway?
He pictured their old flat in East London. Damn he missed that place. If any place had been what he'd thought of when he'd been homesick all those years in the prison, that flat had been it.
Having eaten, he worked at bandaging his wounds. They couldn't be magically healed, but he nipped about through the trees around their clearing and found a couple herbs he recognized from lessons in Herbology or Potions long ago. Wincing at the bitter taste, he chewed them up and spat them into his hand, making a sort of paste to put on them, which wasn't as good as if he'd had a real salve from the Hospital Wing, but it was better than nothing. He smeared that onto his cuts and magicked bandages around them, covering them, protecting them from the elements. It was shoddy medical care at it's finest, he thought, and he'd be lucky if his limbs didn't fall right off.
Ah, James would be tickled by that.
Every now and then, through the trees, he would hear a sound and he would spring up to his feet and draw his wand, expecting the werewolf to come spinging through the brush. At first, he was concerned about the werewolf coming out and getting him but the longer the night wore on, the more he was concerned with having not heard the wolf - not for his sake, but for Remus's.
Where was that stupid wolf?
If Sirius was as torn up as he was... surely Remus was just as bad, if not worse, since he was probably tearing himself up even more now that he didn't have the dog to take his agitations out on or to distract him.
Sirius took to pacing as three o'clock rolled about and he was still without any sign of the wolf.
At four, Sirius took up Buckbeak's lead. "Come on," he said, leading him along. Buckbeak was displeased, stamping his taloned feet in irritation that he was being kept awake at such odd hours for a hippogriff. Sirius tucked the rucksack around his shoulders and paused in the brush, gathering more of the herbs and leaves he'd found. He shoved them into the rucksack nervously, taking a lot more of them than he thought he'd need... more than he prayed he would need.
It took him a moment to get oriented with where he was, but once he had, he started toward the Shrieking Shack, hoping that perhaps the wolf would somehow instinctively know where to go, like they'd done all those years ago. Sirius listened closely as he walked for anything that sounded like a beast in the woods, but other than a couple thestrals, they didn't pass any animals.
Sirius was terrified by now. He'd gone all the way to the Shack and past it into the forrest on the far side, north of Hogsmeade, and back toward Hogwarts in a sweeping arc. He must have passed the Wolf, the Wolf must've turned about somewhere. They were circling each other. But that didn't make sense. If the Wolf was anywhere nearby, he would smell Sirius and Sirius would be prey to be hunted. It would not be him, Sirius, doing the hunting if that were so.
After all they'd been through tonight, after all the trouble and the near-misses and close calls... Sirius didn't know how much more he could take on.
It was still dark when Sirius found him, and Remus was still in his wolf form.
He was laying on his side in the murky edge of the lake on the opposite short of where he, Sirius, Hermione and Harry had been when the dementors had attacked. The water shivered and small waves lapped the back of the dog's body, his head and muzzle only barely above the surface of the water.
"Please," he whispered as he dropped the hippogriff's lead and ran across the shore, not caring that he was out in the open, not caring that he was in plain view of the castle and exactly where a load of dementors had just tried at taking away his soul hours before. It didn't matter if Achlys herself had been hovering over that beach.
He didn't even care that he was a human running toward a full grown werewolf under the light of the full moon.
The only thing on his mind was Remus.
Daylight made the back of Remus Lupin's eyelids glow red and he winced as a shooting pain went up his arm. He groaned and tried to sit up.
"No, no, Mr. Lupin, stay laying down, my dear." It was Madam Pomfrey and he was in his own bed in his private quarters over the Defense Against the Dark Arts office. He blinked in the sunlight at the silhouette of the woman looming over him. She held a bottle of Skelegro. "I know it's nasty, but open up. You've got a lot of regrowing to do."
Remus gagged down the stuff and scraped his tongue on the inside of his teeth, trying to rid his mouth of the taste. Skelegro was the sort of taste that lingers and makes one's mouth chalky and thick.
"What's broken?" he asked.
"Your shoulder. It wasn't a magical injury, you'll be better tomorrow. You've a few new scars, though, I'm sorry to tell you."
"Are they bad?"
"They'll fade."
He could feel the one on the bridge of his nose had been reopened and possibly deepened and there was one running vertically on his cheek now, too.
Great, just what he needed. More scars.
He closed his eyes.
What would Sirius think of the new scars?
Probably be in love with him, the idiot.
His eyes snapped opened, everything from the night before suddenly rushing into his head, though he could only recall flashes - bits and pieces - from after he'd started to transform in the tunnel.
Ron Weasley's terrified expression. Hermione Granger, pulling him up out of the tunnel. Sirius shouting, dragging him... There were flashes of teeth, snapping jaws, the taste of blood, fireworks, and a long night in the trees... There was something else, something... something he was forgetting, something he couldn't quite remember.
"Sirius Black?" Remus gasped. "Sirius Black - where is --"
"He got away, I'm afraid," Madam Pomfrey said in a sad tone, gentle, as though she were telling him bad news she wanted to apologize for. "They're not sure how he did it, but I suppose if you've broken out of Azkaban then breaking out of Hogwarts is no hard task. He's on the run once again and the Ministry is searching for him tirelessly."
Remus stared into the space before him, his eyes unfocused, feeling like he'd been gut-punched. "What?" he stammered. "Where is Peter Pettigrew?"
She shook her head, "You poor man. Must have a touch of a concussion. Memory modifications from Black, I'll bet. We'll floo in some proper mediwizards from Mungo's - they'll be able to help set things straight for you, Mr. Lupin. You poor, poor man. Sit back. It's alright. You've not got a thing to fear, they'll be making sure you're safe, the Ministry will." She clucked her tongue. "Let me run and fetch my sleeping potion, I've somehow forgot it. How I did that, I'll never know, but you'll be needing a rest.
Remus sat numbly as she left.
Peter must've gotten away.
He must've gotten away while Remus was transforming. It was his fault - his - that Sirius was on the run again. It had to be a nightmare.
Please wake up, he thought. When it didn't work he tried out loud. "Please wake up, Remus, please wake up, wake up, wake up --"
"Wotcher Remus?" He opened his eyes. Tonks was standing awkwardly in the doorway, holding a vase of flowers. They were hot pink. But for once, her hair was not. It hung on either side of her face, plain and brown and her grey eyes looked reddish. She stepped into the room. "You alright?"
Remus hesitated. "I've been better."
"Yeah, me too." She walked over and put the vase on his nightstand, knocking over the bottle of skelegro. "Oh shit." She waved her wand, "Tergio!"
"I - I'm sorry you're not doing so well," Tonks said. She sat gingerly on the side of his bed. "It should be a happy day for you, and -- all this mess."
"Do you know where Sirius went?"
Tonks shook her head. "Blimey, I don't know how he did it though, Remus, I saw the chains Savage put on him - I saw them. They were so tight and he couldn't move at all. They had him in that little turret off Gryffindor Tower - all the way up there so he couldn't just run, I suppose. There were eight of us who saw it Remus - we opened the door and there wasn't a soul in the room. Just his chains, broken, and laying on the floor. No sign of escape. The door to the balcony wasn't even open. It was locked, even. He even managed to get his wand somehow, Moody thinks, because the wand is missing. I don't know how he did it! It's... completely baffling."
"Sounds like it's a very, er, Sirius mystery."
Tonks laughed. "Yes, it is." She paused, "They searched the grounds... but no sign of him. We - we thought you might have some answers for us, but - I can tell by your face you're not going to."
"What do you mean? Why would I have answers for you?"
"You turned up all bloody and bruised outside the Hospital Wing about 4:30 this morning," Tonks said. "Passed out and all. They don't have any idea how you got there - we thought maybe he brought you, but we couldn't even fathom how that was possible, either. There were thirty something aurors on the grounds looking for you and you slipped past them all."
"Aurors? Looking for me?" he laughed, "They might've looked all night, seeing as I was a wolf and they could look me right in the face and never know it."
There was a long, tense pause.
"Remus?"
"What?"
Tonks drew a deep breath. "They - they were looking for a werewolf."
He stared at her. "Oh. So they weren't looking for me, you mean they were --"
"Remus, Snape told everyone," she blurted the words out, closing her eyes as she spoke them, hating the sound of them coming out of her mouth even as she said them. "He told everyone that you're a werewolf."
Remus Lupin stared at her, sick to his stomach. "What?"
"He - he was so mad about Sirius escaping, he - he told everyone."
"No."
Tonks had tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Remus. I tried to tell them he was lying but you showing up in front of the Hospital Wing door in shambles with a ton of werewolf bites and scratches sort of confirmed everything Snape said and the whole Ministry completely lost their minds. They wanted to put you into werewolf quarantine, but Dumbledore refused to release you to their care. Oh it's been a right mess - Mad-Eye refused to force Dumbledore to hand you over, so the Minster told him he could either be fired or retired and Mad-Eye left the Ministry for Magic. Just like that. He took off his badge, handed it to Fudge and said 'pisser off' and stomped off! They've framed it in the Prophet as retirement, though."
"I - how long have I been out?" Remus asked, confused. "What's today?"
"June the 24th. But it's nearly seven at night."
"A whole day, then."
"Yeah."
"Bloody hell." Remus shook his head. In an entire day - Sirius could be anywhere.
"Remus?"
He looked up at Tonks. "What? Don't tell me there's more."
"No. No. I just -- tell me what happened?"
"What?"
"Last night. With Sirius? I ran into him for like a second and he - he had all my letters! All my letters from all this time and --" her eyes were welling up. "I knew he was innocent, I knew it, I knew all along. But - but what really happened back in 1981? Did he tell you? What really happened to James and Lily Potter?"
Remus drew a deep breath.
"Tell me the everything," she begged.
Remus thought of another time someone implored him to tell everything - it had been James, up on that very balcony from which Sirius had apparently escaped and, like now, everything in the world had been fractured then, too.