Yosuke's POV:
No... No, no, no, no, no!!
This is wrong. This is so fucking wrong...
...My god...
I mean... what the FUCK!?
None of this can be true, surely...
I mean... Yu likes girls? He loves a girl!?
Unless... she's Kanji...?
But... No...
I just...
Fuck!
My thoughts are running wild in my mind and I can't comprehend it all.
I return to the table on the roof.
"You okay, Yosuke?" Chie scoffs.
"Yeah, you look totally pale..." Yukiko murmurs.
"Well, duh," Rise says. "He did just go to clean out a bathroom."
"Did you see Sensei and Kanji on your travels, Yosuke?"
"I..." I find myself trailing off.
What the hell am I meant to say!?
"Nevermind; found 'em." Teddie smiles, waving behind me.
Shit.
And, well, of course, I can't handle it. So, yeah. I start running.
~~~
Yu's POV:
"Yosuke, wait!"
"Leave it," Kanji mutters, pushing my arm down.
"...Fuck," I whisper.
"What's up with that?" Chie asks.
"I gotta go talk to him," I say.
"What, you have a death wish?" Kanji mutters.
"I... I can fix this. I swear. I know I can."
"Fix... what?" Rise frowns.
"You just-" I begin, but I cut myself off. Because I have more important things to do.
~~~
Yosuke's POV:
The boxes... Just... focus on the boxes...
Dammit, how the hell am I meant to focus on these freaking boxes!?
I groan, slamming one down to the ground.
It's kinda funny, 'cause I know it has fragile equipment in. But, who gives a fuck.
I lean back against the wall, pressing my hands to my face.
I... I still can't believe it... It's just... so messed up...
What did Kanji do to him...?
I get shaken out of my thoughts by the sound of the door opening.
"Y-Yu?" My eyes flicker open.
"...Hey." He speaks softly as he closes the door behind him.
"J-just go, man," I murmur.
"Yosuke, I need to talk to you."
"No, you don't," I whisper. "Yu, just... please, just go."
"...Why?"
"Because... This is just... too fucking much for me."
"...Too much for you?" He scoffs. "What about me, huh? How this makes me feel?"
"I- I don't know!" I groan. "I... I can't look at you." I turn my face away.
"Why not?"
"Because..."
"...Because...?"
"For god's sake, don't make me spell it out," I sigh.
"What is the problem?" He says.
"The fact that I just saw you making out with a freakin' guy in the bathroom."
He stays quiet for a moment.
"That's the only freaking problem," I scoff.
"...What's it got to do with you?"
"Well, first off, it's weird. I mean, anyone coulda walked in, you know."
"I knew they wouldn't."
"Yeah, besides me," I snap. "I mean... has he done this to you?"
"What?"
"You know... made you...?"
He rolls his eyes. "You're kidding, right?"
"Before we met Kanji, you were totally normal."
"And how the hell do you define 'normal'?" He cocks his head to the side. "Because, according to most people, 'normal' people don't go around saving people by jumping into TVs."
"Yeah, but..." I mutter. "You know damn well what I mean, so don't be a smartass."
"...Why does this bother you so much?"
"Because you're... you're meant to be my best friend."
"I still am..."
"Y-you just... kept this from me..."
"I was afraid of how you'd react." His voice becomes soft again.
"...Yu, I..." I grunt.
"...I, uh, didn't want you to find out like that, if that counts for anything."
I shake my head. "It's still not right."
"Huh?"
"You just... made up some chick?" I scoff. "Just to throw me off your trail?"
"I... I mean... Yeah, I guess, but-"
"You made a big deal outta this, you know?" I say. "You just ghosted me any time I brought her up, didn't you? It's 'cause you couldn't bare the guilt."
"What are you getting at?" He looks away.
"Jesus, man... You're... You're a fucking faggot."
He looks back up to me, his face stone. "What did you say?"
I swallow hard.
"Say it again." He laughs hollowly.
"Y-Yu, I..."
"Say it again," he snaps, pushing me against the wall, holding me up by my collar.
"P-please, stop..." I choke.
"Right, right," he nods mockingly. "Because you don't wanna be touched by a faggot, right?"
"D-dude, just let me g-go..."
"You're afraid I'll get attracted to you. That I'll stare you down; that I'll rob you of your innocence. That's it, isn't it?"
"...S-stop..."
"What, is this too much for a guy like you?" He scoffs. "A 'normal' guy like you?"
"I..."
"Go on," he snaps. "Kick and fight. I dare you."
He's honestly scaring me now.
I've never seen him speak with such hatred in his voice.
"I... I just want to be put down," I grunt.
"Then what?" He says. "Go run off to your hot idol chick?"
"...Yu-"
"Because she's far better than I'll ever be, right?"
His grip loosens a little as he loses eye contact and with me.
"...What are you talking about?" I say.
He closes his eyes. "This is how you see me, huh?"
"...You can't blame me..." I mumble.
His nostrils flare up again. "I can't tell you anything. You know why? Because you mean so fucking much to me."
I gulp as his grip tightens once again.
"But I'm always gonna be wrong in your eyes, aren't I?"
His eyes start to water.
"That's-" I try.
"You expect so much from me, huh? Truth is, you have no idea who I am."
"...You're my..." I cut myself off. I can hardly call him partner now, can I?
"Your what?"
"...I don't know, Yu."
"Friend would be nice," he murmurs.
"...After this...? Really?"
His body starts to shake. "After what, Yosuke? Walking in on me and Kanji? Practically forcing it out of me? That I don't like girls? That I'm just like Kanji? That you hate me now!?"
"You know that's not true," I squeak.
"Then, tell me, Yosuke," he pleads. "Tell me what I am in your eyes. Besides some gay guy, eh?"
"...This is all going way too far."
"...Huh?"
"Just... stop trying to make me feel bad about it, okay?"
"About what? Judging people all because of who they like?"
"It just... freaks me out."
"I freak you out?"
"A little, yeah." I look to the ground.
"I can't believe you."
"I mean, seriously, Yu... I have to stay cautious."
"What, you're afraid I'm gonna do something to you? Is that it?" He snaps.
"I don't know."
"This isn't my personality, Yosuke," he grunts. "It's part of me, is all. It doesn't change anything."
"Other than it does," I scoff. "This is all just some fuckery."
He grits his teeth. "I've been through hell and back trying to figure things out, and you're coming here, calling it 'fuckery'?"
"I..."
"You can't see past this, huh? You can't see me."
"...Of course I can't," I frown. "I mean... fuck... You're... weird. This is all so... weird..."
"You wanna know what's weird!?" He yells, pushing me back against the wall. "The way I thought you could accept it. Eventually, maybe."
"Don't even," I grunt. "As if I could! I mean... you're not my best friend, man... You can't be."
"You are an ignorant little fucker, you know that?" He spits.
"Y-Yu..."
He is physically shaking me now. Not because he wants to, but because his whole body is quivering with anger.
"I would do anything for you," he snaps.
"I- I know..."
"I guess it was all one-sided, huh? As if someone like you could ever give a damn about someone like me."
"I... I mean... You could change-"
"Change?" He scoffs. "Do you seriously think I haven't tried that already!?"
"...Dude-" I swallow the knot in my throat.
"You know what I wish?" He says. "I wish I could be someone worthy enough of your attention."
"...Don't say that..."
"But I can't be that, can I? Because I'm a what, Yosuke?"
I don't respond.
"I'm a what!?" He puts his hands around my neck.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I choke, tears running down my eyes.
"Say it," he hisses.
"N-no, I..."
"Say it."
"You're..." I grumble. "You're a..."
His grip gets tighter.
"You're a faggot," I splutter.
It takes a moment for him to comprehend, and he lets me go.
I swallow hard, rubbing my neck.
"You act like you've never had something to be ashamed of," he murmurs.
"...Just, let me go... okay?"
I try to make my way past him, but he stops me.
"Yu-"
His eyes pierce through me. His mouth is downturned, and I can see the grit in his teeth.
"P-please..." I whisper.
"What, I'm scaring you, am I?"
"You're... fucking crazy, man..."
He nods slowly. "Of course you'd say that."
"So... p-please... just let me past..."
"Tell me you hate me."
"...H-huh?"
"Tell me, so I can move on."
"Move on?"
"Tell me, Yosuke," he yells.
I cower back into the corner. "...I..."
"I swear to god, Yosuke, if you don't say it, I'm gonna do something I know I'll regret."
I furrow my eyebrows. "What are you talking-"
But he's quick to seal my lips shut.
~~~
Yu's POV:
I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
But... shit... I mean... He isn't backing away?
From what I can tell, at least.
He whimpers softly as my lips hit his, and that's all.
My own heart is thudding far too loud to hear anything he says.
I just know that I'm kissing him. I'm kissing him, he isn't pulling back, and tears are streaming down my face.
...I don't get it, though.
Why...? Why isn't he pushing me away? Why isn't he disgusted like he was a few minutes ago?
But... Honestly? I don't care anymore.
I reach my palm up to his face and caress it softly.
All the anger in me has vanished. Because he feels so calming.
His lips are soft. His body is quivering just as much as mine. His eyes are tightly shut, as if savoring the moment.
And... I don't want this to end.
He slowly reaches his hand up to touch my arm, and I jump a little at the sudden movement.
Though it's not what I think.
He pushes my own arm back from his cheek, and pulls away.
"What... the fuck?" He whispers.
"Yosuke..." I breathe, reaching for his hand.
"No," he snaps, pulling away. "No."
"But-"
"What the fuck, Yu!?" He wipes his lips aggressively. "I mean... how could you do that!?"
"I..."
"You're..." He trails off, shaking his head. "No. I am not like you. Don't you dare try and change me."
"Yosuke, I'm not..."
"Don't."
He pushes past me, and all I can hear is the door slam behind him.
~~~
thanks for reading:)
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