Max
My heart pounds as I skate along the ice, my eyes darting along its surface. I feel my chest heave as I race after the small black puck, the warm feeling that hasn't subsided for weeks now, on or off the ice. My hockey stick makes contact with the puck, my speed never wavering as it glides across the ice. With one final glance up, I spend the puck spinning across the ice and straight into the net. Relief instantly explodes in my chest, and a laugh escapes me as I'm enveloped by a group of teammates. I hear Fitz talking in my ear and someone else hitting my shoulder, but I can't focus on any of it. Because a little in the distance, behind a plexiglass wall, is the girl that I love, jumping up and down like a little kid.
I'm in love with Persephone Miller. And I have absolutely no idea how to tell her that.
She's smiling from ear to ear, and clapping in that way that causes her to clasp her hands together at the side of her cheek. Even from this far away, her laugh rings in my ear. That laugh is the last thing I hear before I fall asleep. Her smile is all I can think about, every minute of the day.
I'm not the best with my words. I never know what's the right thing to say, and the best way to say it. I always feel like I'm in the wrong with other people, always at risk of saying something slightly random that will make things awkward. It's always been that way, since elementary school and I didn't fit in with the other kids, in middle school where I was so quiet that I was picked last for class sports.
I think when you're the 'quiet kid', it becomes normal to retreat further and further into yourself. Which, in turn, only makes you more quiet, less likely to articulate your words right in the future. It's one, large spiral, which catches you in its web and refuses to spit you back out again. I think that's one of the reasons that Persephone's quickly become my favourite person. She doesn't make me feel bad when I don't want to talk because I simply don't know what to say. She allows me to communicate with just a smile or a look, and doesn't overcompensate for me when we're out together. I never knew that something that started out with the intention of being artificial could morph into the most fulfilling relationship of my entire life. But I'm so, so glad that it did. In such a short amount of time, Persephone has changed me in so many ways. She's taught me to show kindness, to be strong, and how to love again.
After my last relationship ended as a result of the paparazzi, I thought that I'd never be able to trust myself in a relationship again, so long as kept playing hockey, and kept being photographed. I always thought that I'd never be able to give up hockey. That it would be another piece of my soul that I'd never, ever sacrifice. But now... now I'm not so sure. When I walk into work and see Persephone, my vision narrows, everything else becomes blurry. She's all that I see, all that I care about. All I want is to call her mine for the rest of my life, or for as long as she'll have me.
I break away from my teammates after a few moments, my gaze immediately falling on Persephone. Her camera is positioned in line with her eye, a grin firmly attached to her lips. Without thinking, I begin to skate towards her, and in seconds, I reach the glass. I wait impatiently as Persephone lowers her camera, allowing it to swing loosely around her neck. Surprise startles her, but only for a second, before her smile grows impossibly broader. She lifts her hand, forming it into a small wave, her fingers dancing in the air.
When I'm around her, everything seems to slow down. It's like the majority of my day is in 2x speed, and I can't get a breath, can't pause to look around. And then Persephone moves into the frame. And I can breathe again. Every movement I make is steady and calculated When I look at her, it seems like everything I've ever worried about just melts away. It melts away with her smile, with her laugh, with the pure warmth that radiates from her aura.
My breathing becomes heavy, like there's something or someone sitting on my chest, restricting the amount of air I can get. I can hear my heart beating fast in my chest, like it's alight and ablaze with a million different elements of fire and heat. It's like there's something in me that can't be contained anymore, something dying to spill out from my mouth.
I get as close to the glass as I can, watching as Persephone's smile drops a little, and is replaced with a smidge of anxiety. I press my hand to the glass, unable to stop those three words from slipping off of my tongue.
Persephone
The final siren sounds, and the boys immediately move to hug each other. I pick up my camera again, snapping photo after photo. But my mind is firmly elsewhere. My mind is at the same place it was 3 minutes ago, and 3 before that, and 3 before that. My mind is still grappling with what I think Max mouthed to me 9 minutes ago. I think, through the glass and his helmet and my disbelief, he told me he loved me.
He told me he loved me.
He stare was so intense, just 9 minutes ago, like he was reading me like a book. I haven't been able to get that image out of my head, Max's lips teasing those 3 small words that I'd fantasized about hearing since I was a teenager and had a crush on people who didn't even know who I was. And finally, someone was saying those words to me. I think.
After taking a series of photos, I lower my camera. I'm not even surprised when my eyes find Max's. He stares straight at me, through the cheering of fans and cheering of his teammates after their win. We stay this way for a few moments, even as the rest of the team begin to filter off of the ice and towards the changing rooms.
He seems to snap out of it a few moments later, when he points me towards the players tunnel. Our steps are identical through the glass, his feet planted on the ice while mine remain on the ordinary floor. I take a few photos here and there as I make my way around the floor of the arena, although my mind is running a million miles per hour. My hear beats faster and faster until I reach the players tunnel, until it almost stops, until Max crosses from the ice to the ordinary floor. In that second when my heart stops, when the rest of the world blurs, my empty mind forces me to cross the remaining space. I jump into Max's arms, wrapping my legs around his waist. His surprise is short-lived, as he catches me, holding me still at the small of my back. I bury my face into the side of his neck for a moment, sighing into his body.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sweaty." He jokes, as I raise my head from his shoulder. I clasp my hands around his warm cheeks, allowing myself to catch my breath.
"I don't care, I don't care." My speech is fast and slow at the same time, a mixture of words that have been strung together with the combined capacity of a singular brain cell. Without thinking, I tighten my grip around his face, before pressing my lips to his forcefully. He recovers from the sudden movement quickly, his grip on my hips tightening. After a few moments we break away from each other, gasping softly.
"I should probably... have a shower." He laughs, lowering me to the ground.
"I'll be waiting." I reply, hugging my arms around myself. I don't ask him about what he said. And I don't think I need to, not right now at least. Not like this, where I can't string a sentence together to possibly describe what I feel about him. Max deserves more than that. He deserves me to tell him, from my heart, exactly what I'm feeling. Because I feel a pull at my heartstrings, one which consumes me each time I see him. I feel those three words, those eight letters, each and every day. All I need to do is figure out how to tell him that.
...
Max holds my hand as he makes a right turn into the carpark of his apartment complex, his skin warm against mine. He pulls into a parking spot and stops the car, pulling the keys from the ignition. I let his hand go as I reach to the floor to grab my bag, giving myself a second to breath. I open the car door and push myself out, letting the cold night air cool my cheeks. Max grabs his bag out of the backseat, and meets me at the back of the car, where he hand reconnects with mine. He leans down to press a warm kiss to my forehead before we start walking in the direction of the foyer. We quickly make our way up to Max's floor, and before I know it, Max is grabbing his keys out of his pockets, and unlocking the door. I take a deep breath as the door clicks open, knowing that I need to tell him how I feel.
We take a step inside, where I drop my bag and kick off my shoes. I stare at Max as he does the same, a heat beginning to burn in my abdomen. Before I can stop myself, I reach for him, slinging my arms around his neck. I tilt my head slightly, my lips immediately making contact with Max's. Our lips mould together like bread and butter, and Max's hand moves to rest against my chin, tilting it further upwards. I move my hands his chest, pushing his coat off of his shoulders. He pushes his shoulders backwards, letting the material fall from his body and to the ground. His hands find their way to my lower back, where they brush over my hips, squeezing lightly. With a sigh, I hook my legs around Max's waist, and instinctively push my body closer to his. Max groans, gripping my ass tighter as he leads us to his room. Once inside, he sits on the edge of his bed, and positions me so that I'm straddling him. I take advantage of the added height, rising on my knees to deepen our kiss.
Max's hands find the edge of my sweater, lifting it over my head in one smooth motion. His hands move to my back, trailing the ridges of my spine in a way that makes me shiver. My hands get lost in his hair as his finger the clasp of my bra, unclipping it. I break apart from him momentarily as he pulls the straps of my bra down my arms, the intensity of his eyes against mine parting my swollen lips. Once the material is off, he begins to massage my breasts, before lowering his lips to capture my swollen left nipple. A soft moan leaves my throat as my arms rest around his neck, pulling him closer. He lips move to my right breast as his hands continue to wander my body, before resting once more against my hips. After a moment, my hands find the edge of his hoodie, and I pull both it and his shirt off of his body. My hands glide over the hard muscles of his chest as we return to kissing, the atmosphere in the room electrifying. Max's fingers find the button of my jeans, and in a swift movement, they're unbuttoned and unzipped. He fingers track the lacy edge of my underwear, before touching me in the place that I need the most. A loud, throaty moan escapes me, and I press my hips closer to Max's, desperate for touch.
Max groans again, drawing his lips from mine.
"Condom." He says, moving to get up.
"It's fine, I'm on birth control." I say, grounding my hips against his again. It's another lie, but it's not the right time to tell the truth about my fertility right now. Max sighs into another kiss as my fingers begin to work at his jeans. Once I've unzipped them, I slip my hand inside, exerting another groan.
I stand up momentarily, to pull my jeans and underwear off. Max watches me as I do so, his slow gaze following my movement. His cheeks flush as I hook a finger into either side of my underwear, and I watch in anticipation as he draws in a sharp breath. I step out my underwear as they hit the floor, before moving to pull off Max's pants. After I do so, I climb back onto his lap, lining up his cock with my opening. I breathe out a sigh as he sinks into me, letting my head fall back. I move slowly at first, a heat growing in my belly, one which only grows with every movement that I make. Max holds me firmly at my hips as I move in and out of him, our lips locking once more. The faster our movements become, the more the ache in my heart grows, and the need to tell Max how I feels overpowering. I break away from our kiss and grip Max's face, desperate to tell him in this moment.
"I just... I need to tell you something really quickly." I whisper hoarsely, the tightness in my body strengthening. I know I'm close, so really, it's now or never. I'll never have this same level of confidence once this is over, so I need to tell him now. Without waiting for Max to reply, I press harder into him, and speak the words that are on the tip of my tongue.
"I love you, Max." I say, my words morphing into a sudden moan. Max only groans below me, the friction between us growing as my body bounces on top of him. Max forces my breast into his mouth once more as I feel his grip on me tighten. The next moment my body is set on fire with sensation, and I come noisily, my body pushing further and further into Max. I feel him release a few moments later, his groans against my chest blurring with the ones I release into the air. My heart continues to race even as my breathing slows, right as Max and I make eye contact.
"Pers... I..." He begins to say, but I cut him off."
"I heard what you said. Or saw. Through the glass. At least, what I thought you said. And I feel the same." I take a deep breath. "I feel this pull towards you, this pull that I can't ignore, most certainly can't forget. I love you, Max Morin. I love the part of you that listens, the part of you that makes me want to be better. I love every single part of you. And I thought you should know that."
Silence. For a few moments, all I hear is silence. My breath catches in my ear. I feel like I can't breath.
My lips are caught, in a kiss that feels like a broad, toothy smile. Max grips my face with his hands, his expression explaining more than his words ever could.
"Well that's good," he starts, his hands clutched together at the back of my skull. "Because I love you, more than words could ever say."
And I know. His stare tells me that he loves me, the small smiles he only gives to a select range of people. Every fibre in my body knows. And, just like I'd always dreamt, love is the most fulfilling emotion of all. Love shapes lives, shapes stories.
Shapes people
A/n:
please keep in mind that i have never truly watched a game of hockey in my life lmaoo
hope you enjoyed :)
i don't really know what to say lmao, i had a lot of fun writing this one
i guess i'll see you next time (literally have no idea when that will be but anyways)
thanks again for reading bestie boos
ems xx