AUGUST 23rd, 1973
The voices grew louder, she tried to block out the noise with her hands covering her ears. It had been a rough summer as it was, but sometimes covering for her brother was the harder part, pretending she was taking a nap after being tired in being in the heat all day, getting off her bed when she heard a loud thud.
She wasn't the only one to be worried, Regulus already leaving his room as Nora heard the thud from the living room. "Father! What was that noise?" Regulus panicked, Nora rushing to where they were, her mother laying on the floor.
"Don't worry, it's common to faint when stressed out, it's on our blood, especially the women." Orion gently said, his face frowning when he turned to look at Nora. "What do you mean? That shouldn't be normal." She asked, quite confused with his statement.
"Sweetheart, It's something in your mothers blood, also yours that is different for others, it's weaker, when you're angry, mad or under a spell, you lose control and tend to faint under pressure. It's a blood curse, to say it shortly." Her father explained. It made sense in a way, there were days where Nora did indeed pass out under the crucio curse, sometimes her mind went foggy and struggle to find the words.
But she never knew it was because of a disease her mother basically has. "I, have that too?" She asked, a little hesitant to believe it. "Unfortunately my dear, and it pains me every time to see you or your mother like this. Now be useful and put cold water on a towel and bring it back."
She didn't faint, she was sure of it, but the anger of last night didn't make this morning any better, managing to sleep through the whole night, her curtains closing on everyone else, not wanting to see anyone. Nora wanted to avoid the conversations of the prophet, ignoring people that only talked to her to get a rile out of her, saying she was a freak behind her back.
Some days, especially like the one today, she wishes what her purpose in life was, her head down on the table and being alone today. She sat on the very end of the table where nobody else sits, staying with only her thoughts her, staring at her glass with orange juice in it, everyone else enjoying their dinner.
She was forced to get up by Theo, somehow the lad broke the curse on the girls stairs, motivating her to get up, but all she wanted to do was sulk into her bed. She didn't deserve to be up right now, wishing she was sleeping and having no worries.
"She's insane, I mean look at her."
"Her brother obviously caused this."
"She's so sad and alone, it's pathetic."
Even if she were to try, the voices would never go away, wanting to rip her ears off and enjoy the quiet for the rest of her lifetime.
"Nora! You can't keep ignoring me, I'm your friend."
She didn't care who was in front of her, sitting up and frowning, staring at Theo. "What?" She asked harshly, her braid becoming messy. "Nora please, you need to be yourself again." He tried to tell her, his face being all to concerned for her.
Nora didn't have to time to hear the speech of being happy, her head becoming too heavy for her, resting her chin on her hand. "But this is me Theo, I've been like this for the past 6 years of my life. My life is crumbling because of one stupid fucking article." Nora gritted, rubbing her temples to try and get rid of the painful headache was experiencing.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start something. Just worried is all." He wasn't going to leave soon, buttering a piece of garlic bread, pouring some pasta for himself and eating it. "Well be sorry a little quieter if you want to sit with me." She told him; Theo doing a thumbs up as he tries to not show how delicious the pasta was.
She stared at the boy in front of her, wondering how he can always be so happy and dim witted while having the dark mark on his arm. How one person can ignore all the wrong things in his life as he sits here, seeing another person in pain and not fix himself.
Was she in her head too much?
"Theo?" Nora asked softly, immediately grabbing his attention. "How, how are you always so happy?" She asked, not knowing how to properly form that sentence, admiring Theo for a moment.
"I'm never happy Nora, quite the opposite." He said, putting his dish down, Nora furrowing her eyebrows. "You're doing what I used to do." Nora mumbled, Theo not understanding what she just asked.
"Nobody at this table is happy Nora; I can guarantee you. What you're doing right now is accepting the fact you're upset, everyone else is ignoring their thoughts because they don't care anymore. But you still care, and something awful has happened to you, it's okay to feel that. But don't think you have to hide it, it'll only get worse overtime."
Theo stood up to ruffle her hair; Avery walking in with Cassie and Betty, her heart feeling like she just got stabbed in the chest. She didn't even look like she regret what she said, her smug and arrogant face making Nora want to throw up.
"Get out or lose those two." Theo said to Avery, his eyes narrowing towards his girlfriend, shaking his head in disgust. Nora turned her head away, seeing regulus play with his food as Evan and Atticus don't even eat, all looking tired.
Was that her fault too? Are they too worried about her they don't know how to handle each other? Was she doing to be a cause of destruction?
Nora turned her head, betty was now staring at her; looking the girl up and down as she scoffed. "Whatever, didn't want to sit with her anyways." It was like a jab to her throat, hard to swallow or even accept it was said, Avery giving an apologetic look towards Nora.
"What even happened to you two? If you don't mind me asking." Avery asked; not trying to do rude. Nora knew exactly why they weren't friends, sighing, she couldn't keep anything from the two in front of her.
"It's stupid, she's just holding a grudge towards me." Nora shook it off, the boys shifting in their seats. "Well she's a... a— can I even say the word?" Avery asked Theo, knowing the complicated relationship they are in.
"I say it all the time. She's only with me because her parents can't find better suitors. I mean can you blame them? She's not the nicest girl to marry." Theo sulked, Nora shifting uncomfortably in her seat.
"See," Theo said, grabbing Nora's attention again. "What?" She asked, rubbing her eye. "Even I have shitty things happening in my life, but here I am, pretending I'm okay because nobody else needs to see our pain."
"I used to be like that." Nora mumbled, scratching her cheek. "Yeah until you go soft dating pothead over there," Avery scoffed, Theo hitting his arm. "it happens when you think you found the right person. Happened to me a few times. It takes a while to build up the wall you once had." He continued, rolling his eyes.
"So I'm going to feel like shit for the rest of my life basically?" Nora sassed, the boys smirking at her attitude. "Basically," the boys said, not sugarcoating it for her.
"Well i hate life then." Nora finalized, grabbing Theo's garlic break for herself, miserably eating. "Hey!" Theo mumbled with food, Avery handing him a new one.
"Everyone hates their life kiddo, don't worry, you'll be alright." Theo told her, going back to his food. Nora wasn't too sure with that answer, watching Avery stand up and ruffle Nora's hair before she left, walking past Atticus and ruffling their hair. Regulus looked over with a sad face, his eyes softening.
"We should talk." He mouthed, Nora squinted, taking a second to register what he said, her head subconsciously nodding, turning back before people were to look at her.
She looked past Theo anyways, her eyes searching James. He was already looking at her with so much concern, her heart fluttering for a moment while being in such an awful position. He was being helpful, he didn't want her to see the article, he was there at the right moment, but didn't succeed his plan.
And she blames herself for that. "Listen kid, I have detention for punching Goldstein in the face today, will you be okay?" Nora's eyes shifted back to Theo, her face screwing up when she heard what he did, stunned.
"Which Goldstein?" She asked, knowing they were twins. "Well I obviously didn't lunch Goldielocks, I punched her brother of course." Theo said, finishing his pasta before he left her.
"Bye." Nora mumbled; watching him leave. It was a pattern, everyone seemed to leave her at some point, she couldn't blame them, she was a self destructive nightmare sometimes, always in her big head that likes to ruin things.
She had a lot of questions but no answers, sulking until she finally had enough, betty staring at her while she laughed with Cassie, purposefully to tick her off. She needed to be alone, it was either the library or the common room, sighing as she left the great hall in a huff.
It didn't seem hard for her to leave, thankful that nobody was going to randomly grab her shoulder to make her stop walking to talk. She had to get away from all the staring, annoying with everyone and everything. She wish she was alone, hearing her brother call her out, sitting at the nearest bench.
"I'm just tired Reggie; I didn't sleep good last night." She told her brother, turning to see it was actually Sirius, gulping. "I, I'm just a little worried for you Nora. This prophet thing was my idea and I blew it for you." He told her, sitting down beside the tired girl.
Nora sniffled her nose, not knowing what to say as she looked at Sirius, nodding. "You didn't know what she was going to write. Don't pin this on yourself." She told her brother, wanting to let it go.
"Then why are you acting like this! Like you're— you're sad with your life and tired with everyone?" Sirius blurted out, panting a little. Nora could tell he has kept that in for a long time, not blaming him. "I'm always like this Sirius. I usually hide it better." Nora said, not wanting to start a fight, wishing a goodnight as he doesn't even try to follow up, sitting there as Nora doesn't look back.
The next few days didn't seem to be better, although she was able to cover her tiredness, her eyes did all the talking anyways. It annoyed her with how much your eyes can tell a story while you hide the pain. She hadn't gotten a letter from her parents yet, concerning her more as she was forced to sit in the stands with Remus, watching the Gryffindors practise.
She tempted to smoke with him, it felt like the cigarette was calling her name until a certain lad with glasses looked towards her every now and then. Nora didn't know how many times he had down that, but it had only been ten minutes into practice and he was clearly distracted.
"Whats on your mind?" Remus asked; eating some chocolate from his pocket. "What do you mean?" Nora asked back, fixing her Jean skirt.
Remus chuckled, taking a long drag before he blew it out, the cigarette in between his fingers. "You're doing what I've always done growing up Nora. Avoiding your problems rather than running towards them. It's a coping mechanism to distract your mind from the real problem; and you're doing that by staring at James."
Damn was he good.
"So? You do that with chocolate and reading. And don't think I'm wrong, I see you as much as you see me Lupin." Nora told the lad, catching him off guard. "You may or may not be right, but I was just voicing my opinion."
"And I appreciate that, but I'm fine; at least I pretend I am. I don't need the whole castle to know their slytherin princess is having a life crisis and worried her whole life is slipping away." Nora said, blabbing and rubbing her temples to make it stop.
"Nora, I can guarantee you everyone would understand if you're going through something—"
"No! I can't Lupin, I can't..." Nora whispered, "I've worked too hard to have myself crumble the minute something gets hard. I felt nothing when my favourite uncle died, didn't even cry when andromeda left; and didn't even shed a tear when I woke up and found out Sirius left me while I passed out from trying to save his arse."
Panting and feeling her head throb in pain, Remus tried to calm her down, grabbing her hand as she pants through the pain of going back to the past. She didn't try moving away from his touch, clenching her jaw.
"I'm telling you, it's okay to be vulnerable, around me at least if that makes you feel better." He explained, his thing stroking the back of her hand. Nora didn't even feel the tear that ran down her cheek, nodding her head.
"Okay..." she panted, looking down at their hands. "You're a good friend Lupin." She told him, Remus smiling a little. "I've told you to call me Remus." He reminded, Nora shaking her head. "I like Lupin better."
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I only listened to silver springs while making this song because my girl is going through it and I was in the summer I turned pretty mood and started listening to the soundtrack. Not a lot of nora and James this chapter but a little scene of Remus and Nora, who may or may not become friends sooner or later ;)
- another note, happy September!! I'm back from vacation and starting college soon so don't be sad if I'm not posting as fast. I still have like 5 chapters still sitting in my drafts so here's a heads up to all of you! And this is 100% unedited so feel free to point anything out.