Jan's Point of View
"What?"
I tried to close my eyes in frustration. I hold on to my cell phone.
"You want me to find this Lean? You are quite an insane Jan," sermon ni Mira.
I told Lean I have a cousin in CDO. Mas naging interesado siya but I never give him the information. Mira is not just my cousin. She is like a sister to me dahil magka edad lamang kami.
"He is not that hard to find. He is working in AshfordAsia."
"AshfordAsia? Bigatin ha? That's the biggest manufacturer of aircraft parts in Asia. He must be an Engineer."
He didn't confirm but I felt he is. We've been chatting straight for three days. And this feeling, I have to shake it off. Every minute that we chatted, it feels I am liking him more and more. And ganoon din siya. Which is quite unfair.
Unang una I am not using my name. It's Alessa's name! I feel like Alessa kapag sinasabi niya ang name ko. And I also feel odd. Kasi hindi ako yon.
I am also using Alessa's face...
I closed my eyes. What's the matter with me?
Nakakaramdam ako ng takot, pagkadismaya, pagkapahiya....
If I could redo things I will.
I smiled wryly. Sa sobrang pagkaka panatiko ko kay Ms. Alessa pati pangalan at mukha niya hiniram ko.
I sighed in frustration. There is something odd about him! Like...I don't know.
"Just find him, Mira, please! I need info about him or I'll go crazy!" I said in a desperate voice. And desperate is a very lame word to describe what I am going through right now. I need to find him. This madness will surely kill me if I won't put a stop to this nonsense.
Dahil nagkakagusto ako sa isang tao na hindi ko nakikita. Na nagagawang iparamdam sa akin ng isang monitor ang mga pakiramdam na tanging sa libro ko lamang nababasa.
This can't be true.
"Alright, alright! Calm down! Ano bang meron tong ka-chat mate mo my goodness! Just don't panic okay? Para kang teenager!"
I sighed in relief. I looked at may manus na namatagal na dapat kong nagawa pero ng dahil sa lalaking iyon ay hindi ko na natapos pa.
I wanted to take him out of my system.
Hindi ko siya kilala.
At natatakot ako sa mga emosyon na dinadala niya sa akin! Who the hell is he?! Nagugulo ako at walang lohikong dahilan ang pagkakagulo ng utak ko!
As in wala!
It has to end soon.
Bago pa ako ma-in love sa lalaking hindi ko nakikita!
Lean's Point of View
I sighed as my eyes stared at the screen of my laptop. I am re-reading over and over again our conversation last night.
I told her I want to see her. But she told me to wait. Wait for what? I looked at her picture again. Para sa akin mas higit siyang gumaganda habang tinititigan. I think I am liking her more and more. And this is quite frustrating. The way she chatted with me, and even her word of 'Haha' pakiramdam ko nakikita ko siyang tumatawa. Natawa ako ng marahan. What's happening to me?
It's like I am becoming a fool for her. But in a good way. I want to start dating her. And we'll see after that. I will try not to rush her.
I could feel her own doubts. And I cannot blame her.
I am not the one on the profile.
At na gi-guilty ako na hindi ko nagawang sabihin sa kanya ang totoo. Pero di bale. I will make it all up to her.
When she decides to see me. Once she is ready to see me. And I am going, to be honest about myself.
"Are you seeing someone?"
Napakurap ako at napatingin sa nagsalita. I saw Chris on the door while he frowned at me. Kumunot ang noo ko.
"What?"
Pumasok ito pero hindi pa rin nagbabago ang pagkakatingin sa akin. "Nakangiti kang mag-isa. And I haven't seen you smiling like a fool."
"What? I am not!" Mariing tanggi ko. Am I too transparent?
Tumawa ito ng mahina na pinakatitigan ako. Kinuha ko ang folder na nasa mesa ko.
"You are dating!" he confirmed.
I scowled at him. Inabot ko sa kanya ang folder. "Will you stop being nosy when it comes to my personal life? And here, tell your secretary to improve her writing skills. Pulos mali ang correspondence na ginawa niya. Follow the corrections that the grammar and spelling checker is suggesting to her!" iritadong sabi ko.
Inabot iyon nito. "Okay, okay. Masyado kang HB. Tumatanda ka na kasi. Anyways, tuloy ang dinner sa bahay mamaya ha?"
Napakunot ang noo ko. "What? Anong dinner?"
He frowned at me. "Anniversary namin ni Lena and you just agreed yesterday. Makakalimutin ka na."
I sighed, I totally forgot. "Alright. Paayos mo na yan. I need that report before I leave next week."
"Okay. Ano bang araw ang alis mo next week?"
"Wednesday," I sighed. I wanted to see her. Before I leave by next week I will see her. I have to relieve this curiosity, this longing...that I couldn't even understand why I am feeling all these emotions that I cannot even name.
I will see her.
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