The cold air of the night stabbed Firey like a blade and he quickly crossed his arms over his chest to try fend it off a bit.
He trudged down the street with absolutely no idea of where or what he was supposed to do or go.
With a few words he lost everything.
It rained softly as the sky became darker and Firey knew he wouldn't find anywhere dry to sleep.
He had already ruined himself in two people's eyes, who cares if he lost even more dignity.
He took out his phone and rang someone for a favour he never thought he'd need.
"Hey Four, I need some help,"
Firey told him everything. Well, almost everything.
He left out how bad the fight was but he knew Four would figure it out based on his voice.
"Alright fine, I guess I do owe you something for your work, I have a guest room you can stay in," Four said tiredly, it was obvious he had been rudely woken.
"Thanks Four, don't worry it's not going to be permanent," Firey assured.
He ended the call and continued his long walk to the outskirts of the city, he was cold and the rain got into his eyes but he needed to keep moving.
After about an hour of walking, he couldn't stop himself anymore and reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes.
Once he had lit it, he stared up at the sky where he could see the moon shining through the clouds as he tainted the clear air with his smoke when he exhaled.
He never liked smoking but it seemed to still his nerves and stopped him from being jumpy or fidgety, he often wondered how much of it was actually helping and how much of it was just him lying to himself.
...
The rest of the walk took him hours, by the time he got to Four's house, it was almost midnight and his muscles were sore.
Four let him in but paused for a moment when he saw the state Firey was in.
He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and realised that Four's reaction was totally justified.
His hair was a mess, it was obvious he had been crying, he was soaked to the skin, his clothes were crumpled and scuffed and he smelled like cigarette smoke.
"There's a bath down the hall, please take one before you sit on anything," Four yawned.
Firey nodded in response as Four showed him where his room was and then left.
The room was nice, a decent size with a comfy looking bed, a desk and a wardrobe. There was a carpet in the center of the room and there was a vase of flowers on a bedside table, it was rather cute, very unlike Four.
He hung his jacket up and then went down the hall to wash himself.
The bath took a while to fill and the room steamed up, Firey wiped the mirror with his hand and scrutinised the reflection he saw in it.
"You ruined everything," he told himself.
"You had one good thing in your life and you ruined it,"
He carefully got into the bath and sank into the warm water and let himself soak for a moment.
He washed his hair and attempted to get any grit off his skin, his muscles relaxed in the warm embrace of the water and Firey felt himself growing drowsy.
He gazed up at the ceiling as he lay back in the water, memories of Leafy rushed to his mind.
She was so pretty, she was so kind, she was so sweet and so gentle.
She deserved so much better than him.
He remembered times when he held her close and they whispered sweet nothings to each other, completely in love with the other.
He remembered times when he kissed her, in particular their first kiss.
They were sixteen and it had rained non-stop while they were leaving school, they walked home together but the rain was too heavy to keep going so they stopped under a bridge.
Leafy had seen a cat up ahead and shoved her bag into Firey's hands and ran toward it, despite the heavy rain and the hail that fell.
Just as she reached the cat, she slipped on the wet concrete, hurting her ankle and scaring the cat off.
Firey quickly dropped the bags and ran over to her, he hated the rain but he didn't care in that moment, he wanted to make sure Leafy was alright.
Leafy was crying, she was upset that the cat had run away and she was in pain, Firey helped her up, using himself a crutch so she could walk.
He scolded her for running after the cat and asked her what the hell she was thinking.
She was still upset and Firey sighed in frustration, there was no point in complaining, besides, he wasn't even mad, he just worried about her.
He took off his jacket and put it over her shoulders and they waited under the bridge for the rain to stop, Firey did his best to cheer her up and it worked and soon she was laughing again.
Even when the rain died down and the sun came out they were both still soaked but Leafy said her ankle felt better.
Firey helped her up, offering his hand that Leafy took.
She stood in front of him for a moment as Firey picked up his things and began to walk towards his home.
She told him to stop and close his eyes, Firey was confused and didn't do it straight away but Leafy was insistant.
He closed his eyes and suddenly felt soft lips come into contact with his own.
It lasted for around five seconds before she pulled away, a small blush tinting her cheeks as she held her hands behind her back and grinned at him while giggling.
Firey stared at her in shock, totally surprised and unable to speak except for a stupid "huh" sound.
"See you tomorrow!" she said happily as she quickly turned and ran.
And that was the first of many kisses they would share.
He would never kiss her again.
He would never hold her again.
He would never have her again.
He felt empty, there was nothing in his thoughts, he felt lonely yet strangely comforted.
He felt a pressure in his chest that gradually because more and more painful.
He had sank below the water, the sudden realisation of what he was doing struck him and he quickly forced himself into an upright position and out of the water.
He coughed and spluttered as he tried to get the water out of his throat, he sat for a while taking deep breaths, shocked by his behavior.
It was not a good idea for him to he in a body of water right now.
He carefully got out, dried himself off and put on the spare clothes Four had given him, a pair of black sweatpants and a red football jersey, tacky but he wasn't about to complain.
He went back to the room he would be sleeping in and lay on the bed, the clock on the wall said it was one in the morning, he was so tired he couldn't sleep.
So he cried.
In one day he had destroyed his relationship with Leafy and his own son who he didn't even know was his, god his life was relentless.
He had overreacted and here he was in a random bed feeling cold, alone and in slight pain due to almost drowning himself.
He did his best to keep his sobs quiet, he didn't want Four to hear him and ask questions.
He clutched his pillow close to him, burying his face in it as he wept, his tears were going to leave stains but he completely disregarded that.
Soon the tears stopped falling and he just held the pillow tightly, staring into space, he barely noticed the light from the hall as the bedroom door opened.
Four walked in looking extremely sleep deprived but ever so slightly sympathetic, they walked into the room and placed a small tray on the bedside table.
"You should eat something, it'll help you sleep," they said simply.
Firey turned and looked at the blue haired person, their eyes contained no judgement, no pity, just worry for their comrade.
"Thank you," Firey said.
Four nodded as they left the room, stopping as they got to the door and they put their hand into Firey's jacket pocket and pulled out the box of cigarettes.
"Don't use these to deal with your problems, the damage isn't worth it," the sighed.
Firey said nothing as they took the box and told him they were going to put them somewhere out of his reach.
Four gently closed the door behind them and Firey sat in darkness again.
He turned onto his back and began to sink back into his own thoughts.
It all needed to end, this whole fucked up mess needed to end.
But the end needed to have a meaning, it needed to be worth it.
He can't be selfish anymore.
...
Firey woke up the next day at around noon but he was still tired when he walked downstairs to look for Four.
Four's house was big and Firey got lost multiple times before he found Four in their office looking over some papers.
"Four, I want to talk to you," Firey said with as much authority has he could muster.
"What is it," Four sighed, adjusting their glasses.
"How close are we to ending this case, be honest with me,"
"We're fairly close, like I've told you there's just a few more people to take down but if we can get rid of Two, then they'll all disappear,"
"How can we do that? Is there some kind of squad we can set up?"
"No Firey, it's too dangerous, Two has uncanny abilities and somehow constantly knows when we're on their track, everytime we send people after them they never come back,"
Four rested their head against their hands we they watched Firey suspiciously.
"In short Firey, there's not much we can do right now,"
Firey walked into the office and took a seat across from Four, his eyes were dull and lacked life.
"I know a way we can take them out," Firey announced.
"And how is that?" Four questioned.
Firey pulled a file out from the inside of his jacket and threw it down onto the desk, the front of it was labelled "Plan X"
Four glared at the file as they picked it up and looked through it.
"Firey, how many photos and notes have you taken from the Investigation Room?" Four grumbled.
"Just keep reading," Firey replied.
As Four turned each page their expression became graver and more concerned, as they reached the last few pages of notes and information, their face was one of worry and horror.
"Firey... this is," they couldn't even begin to articulate what they were thinking.
"Four, just give me the all clear, I can do this without the agency, all I need is for you to agree," Firey insisted.
"No Firey, I can't, I-" Four struggled to say anything coherent.
"I've had this on a back burner in case anything went wrong and in my eyes, all of this is wrong, it's gone on longer that it needs to," Firey said.
"I can do this Four, I just need some equipment and I can do it, it'll all be over," Firey had a borderline insane look in his eyes.
"But, this is... it's a..." Four stammered.
"I know what it is, Four,"
"It's a suicide mission,"
"I've given everything up for this case, what difference does this make?"
===============================
I've gotta pick up the pieces, I gotta bury em deep and when the dirt hits the coffin, just go to sleep.
I hope you enjoyed that chapter, cus I hate it.
XOXO
LeafCake