I was closing my locker when I saw Steven running down the halls like a maniac, how am I related to him again??
It's been a couple months since Susannah died, and it's not like I ever see her when it's not summer, but sometimes it'll just hit me. Not hit, body slam me. Susannah is dead, and nothing will ever be the same again.
I decide to join the others and catch the tail end of a conversation, "Wait? Are you going to Princeton?" Taylor says, faking her surprise, "That's so cool! I couldn't tell."
Steven gives her a playful shove, and someone walks up, "Yo, yo, yo, yo!" It's clearly Steven's friend, Spike, who belongs in an insane asylum.
"What time is the grad party tomorrow man?" Spike asks.
"The band comes on at ten," Taylor says, automatically filling in for Steven, "I'm dating the singer," she says as if the whole world doesn't know with a mushy smile on her face.
"Uh yeah," Steven side eyes Taylor, "The Machine Gun Kelly wannabe. I tried to veto him from playing, but I guess we couldn't find anybody cheaper."
Taylor turns to me and Belly and asks us if we're going to the party.
"I kind of have to, I'm graduating," I say with a shrug.
"Ah- I don't know," Belly says.
I turn to her, faking a gasp, "You have to, Bells! Come for me," I say with my best puppy dog eyes.
Belly's counselor calls her over and I take that as my que to leave.
Getting ready for graduation is hectic. Mom is all over the place, except she's been like that since Susannah died. Steven's shirt needs ironing, and that leaves me and Belly to take care of everything.
Grad fit 😝
Belly carries in two little baskets filled with graduation gifts, one for me, one for Steven. We open the letters first, realizing they're from Susannah. She must've planned it before her death. I read my letter, tears welling in my eyes as I go on, Steven's eyes seem to be fairly watery too. I fold up my letter and put it back in the envelope. Wiping my eyes to not ruin my makeup I think about Jere. He was supposed to be here for shit like this. I didn't even get sent an invite to his graduation; I would've gone in a heartbeat.
I walk up to the stage and give my speech. I spoke about how surrounding yourself with the right people makes your past, present, and future a whole lot brighter. How the right people will push you towards greatness, and the wrong people will hold you back. It's important to be the best you can be and push yourself to the limits to achieve everything you dream of.
Steven walks up and gives his speech. We were both selected valedictorian of the class of 2023. We both were very competitive for the title, and it worked out for the both of us.
Lunch after graduation is tense. Steven, Belly, and I quickly excuse ourselves to go get ready for the party.
I can hear Taylor and Belly fighting over what's "super-hot" in the room over, but I can't bring myself to laugh at their antics. I scroll through my photos, landing on a picture of Jere. Tears form in my eyes, and I wipe them away before they ruin my makeup. I really really miss him. My mind wanders to that headspace where everything is perfect. I can almost feel Jeremiah's arms wrapped around me when a loud knock disrupts my daydream.
"Come in!" I croak.
"We're going now!" Taylor says, an excited smile playing on her lips.
"Ok, ok, I'm getting up just give me a sec," I say and lay there trying to get the daydream I had back, but it's gone. I get up and head out to the car with Taylor, Steven, and Belly.
"Heading to a grad party?" Mom asks from downstairs.
"Uh, yeah- ours, remember?" Steven says gesturing between us, "Me and the guys are throwing it?"
"Oh, yeah! Don't drink and drive."
"I'm the designated driver," I say, giving mom a reassuring smile.
Belly quickly tells mom that she ordered her a pizza and we're on our way.
Stacy drags me through the party, greeting everyone she knows, which is, everyone. I grab a soda and Eddie comes up to me. We haven't talked since the beginning of the year, I was really hoping he didn't come to ask me out again.
"Hey gorgeous," The confident Canadian accent is back in his voice.
"Hey, Ed," I say, giving him a sweet smile.
"I'm not here to ask you out or anything, but I really miss you. I miss our friendship; we were pretty close..." He trails off for a second. We were never that close, but I followed along with what he's saying, "I was thinking about you when I liked this girl, and your confident demeanor pushed me to ask her out."
I'm not confident at all but I say, "Eddie that's great! I'm so proud," I chuckle, wiping a fake tear.
"Yeah, I'm getting pretty serious with her. I just want to thank you. I think I liked the idea of you more than I liked the actual you, if that makes sense?"
"I totally get that," I chuckle thinking about Mark from the skatepark at Cousins.
"Anyways, I was hoping we could be friends again? This time without me being awkward and scared of you?"
"Yeah of course! I'd love that."
"Perfect. Well, I'd better be going now, can't leave the lady alone for too long now, can I?"
"Yeah, see ya!"
I walk around aimlessly for a while before I find myself standing right in front of the stage with Belly and Taylor.
Milo is singing a cover of a well-known song that I can't quite name right this second. I hear Taylor saying something to Belly and I listen in, "Wanna know something so romantic? Milo wrote this song for me." I roll my eyes when I hear a jealous gasp from Steven.
"It's a cover!" Steven tells her.
"Oh- well it's still romantic!" Taylor tries to defend. Taylor and Belly go into a conversation about a boy that Belly talked to. I didn't really care. I knew she still loved Conrad.
Steven goes to the side of the stage and starts taking his shirt off. I don't want to get any secondhand embarrassment, so I turn around and walk back into the house.
I'm sitting on my phone and it's not too soon after that I start hearing a fight between Belly and Steven. I walked out of the room I was in, catching Belly in a conversation with Taylor.
"I'll take it from here," I tell her, leading Belly out to the car.
I drive us home, trying to comfort Belly while she cries. She's shuddering from how hard she's crying, and I hear her talking deliriously about Conrad and Susannah.
Me too, Belly, me too.
When we walk inside, mom is up waiting for Belly. I tell her I'll meet her in her room. Belly slams the door.
"Got into a fight with mom?" I ask.
"Yeah, it's nothing," She shrugs it off. I can tell she doesn't want to talk about it, so I pull out the snacks we hide under her bed and open her laptop. We've been watching Netflix and spacing out for about an hour when Belly's phone rings. It's Jeremiah.