ZEHRA
I never expected the confession I received from him, the moment he said the word married from his lips, and his expression that was confessing he thinks about that future, the instant question that rang in my head was, will I ever be part of that marriage?
I was half hurt when I mentioned to him where will you keep a whore like me?
But whatever he followed by, my eyes were left widened and my mouth was left with no words, I always have something to say, my mind has always been a chaos of words I never speak, I refuse to let out, because I am afraid to be disgraced, I am taught to never have so many opinions as a woman or demands.
But for the first time, all that chaos settled down, and I stared at him with complete shock!
This man has been a portrayer of different characters but this spontaneous proposal was the least of my expectations.
I wasn't about to say a word with him after that, complete silence, I had no questions to ask him anymore. I sat in the bike behind him after, as he drove back to the house, but his routes changed, he did not take the turs I had remembered while coming here, he took a hundred different turns, and the way we covered in half-an-hours while coming turned into a two hours road.
It didn't take a genius to realize that he took a long way, to reach the same house.
After two hours of astounding silence, he did not say anything. Finally reaching home, I got off the bike and practically ran back inside the house, when Divya walked out of the kitchen,
"What did you bring? What did you bring?" She said as she ran to me but found no bags in my hand she was completely disappointed.
"Bhabhi! Did you go shopping? How is there nothing in your hand? Bhaiya never says no to me for anything when he takes me, did he say no to you?" She asked me, he walked inside the house as he walked past me entering the television room.
"No, he did not say no. I didn't want anything!" I said as I entered the kitchen with her.
"Oh, bhabhi! Bhaiya is a lousy money spender you should take full advantage of that man!"
He is not a money spender, he is just a great brother. I helped her with the tea, and I took it inside the television room.
He sat there on the chair, rotating the key in the air with his index finger but stopped it when I entered, his one leg on another. His mother kept talking with him about something but I hardly believe he was even listening to her, he just occasionally hummed to her.
I gave his mother tea, and I gave it to him too, "Divya make the dinner today, your bhabhi must be tired." His mother said, I don't understand his mother, she is orthodox! But she is the kind of orthodox who doesn't only believe in the daughter-in-law working, she believes her daughter working as much as the daughter-in-law, and most of the time, she do not have a problem with his son helping in things like the usual traditionalist mothers have.
If either of his sons helps us keep the food and plates back in the kitchen she doesn't mind, if someone creates a mess irrespective of gender, that person is supposed to sweep the floors. Which so far has been Dev.
But you wake up late once, and it's all taunts!
I sat across from her with the tea, when I heard the crashing of the door, Dev entered the house and walked inside the television room, touching his mother's feet. "Divya tea for me too!" He ordered her from here, "Go bring it yourself! She is cooking dinner!" Daiwik ordered his brother.
Who groaned in response, "Why? Teri biwi ke pare bhari hogaye?" (Is your wife pregnant?) he joked with himself and everyone laughed except Daiwik and me.
But then he stood himself and went outside, "Your mother is calling," He said as he extended his phone to me, I took it and picked up the call before it cuts down, I stood up to leave the room, but Ammi said she dialed it by mistake and she will call me again later, and hanged up, I sat back in my chair, giving him the phone back, our fingers brushing this time, but he did it intentionally. His entire hand gropes mine while taking the phone.
I fumbled after that sitting back, his mother in personal beef with one of the characters in a daily soap she watches with so much excitement.
Dev entered again and sat down next to his mother, and closer to me, leaning toward my side, "I heard you went market today?" He tried to make small talk with me, his mother was immersed in television, and Daiwik occasionally eyed us,
"Yes," I said, I don't talk at all with Dev but he just has this loud, talkative, and flirty personality. Somethings I feel like he is even flirting with his mother.
He nodded, "Divya give me oil, my mother is going to massage my head!" he ordered again, when his mother shook her head, and Daiwik warned him with his look for calling Divya to work.
"I am not giving you a massage, my wrist is hurting!" She said as he laughed sneaking, "Of course, it will! Pura din padi rehti ho!" he had a typical bicker with his mother, a very rare sight for me. In our house, there is a command that must be followed.
"Bring it, I will do it for you!?" I suggested, a huge grin-smirk spread on his face, as he turned to his brother, who looked very annoyed right now.
It's just a head massage?
He instantly jerked standing up, and bringing the oil, his mother stood up too since her episode from today came to an end, "I will go walk on the terrace a little before dinner!" She slowly walked outside, and as Dev handed me the oil, I stood up to keep the oil on his head but he sat down on the ground for my convenience rather than having me standing.
I was new to this kind of arrangement because I always kept the oil on Murshad standing while he carelessly sat on the chair.
I took the oil, as I landed it on his head, and slowly started to massage it, Daiwik's eyes were on us, his expression was off, his face completely red, while he stared at his brother who suddenly started making sounds.
"Ahh...! Zehra! Aahhh! You are the best!" he started ahh-ing loudly every time I trailed around his head.
"Ahhh Zehra! So good! So good!" I don't understand why he was yelling. What was there to scream?
I wondered but I just witness his brother getting more angrier if possible. He aggressively stood up and stormed out of the room. While Dev started to laugh mischievously!
It took me a long moment to realize this was an intercourse sound. I pushed his head back!
"You are shameless! How could you?" I yelled as I stood up, pushing him once again, and walking out of the house but couldn't find him. Did he leave?
~
I helped Divya despite his mother telling me not to because I had nothing else to do.
Daiwik came back a while ago, after dinner, and was in our room right now, I went over to the room to serve him his dinner alone, and when I entered he had already changed into his house clothes, he saw the food in my hand, "Let me wash my hand!" He said, as he went out to wash his hand and came back sitting on the bed as I kept the food down before him,
Dev slept in the television room. I sat across from him to keep him company while he eats, and if he needs something.
I crossed my legs, while I completely sat over the end, relaying at the bed end, he ate slowly,
"Did you eat?" he asked me, did I eat?
I did not, I hummed in reply, he ate the complete chapati as he was about to break another bite, his sight of eating that fungus-filled chapati pushing in his mouth came before me, I shrugged it away instantly, Divya knocked at the door as little later hung her head, "Bhabhi! He is eating, you should eat too?" She asked me loudly, he instantly looked up, "I will get your plate ready!" she said, but before I could refuse he asked her to bring the plate here.
And he stopped eating his food. His eyes met mine, "You lied?" He asked me, and I blinked shrugging, "I just thoughts it's irrelevant for you to know I ate or not." I said as calmly as I could but he shook his head,
"Zehra! You are well-fed! Well clothed! Well accommodated! Is the only relevant thing I give a damn about! So stop just trying to act invisible! If you want things take it! If I have any related to it, snatch it! Demand it! Don't just sit thinking every fucking things that actually should be irrelevant!" He muttered, for the first time cursing in a conversation with me!
Divya brought the plate and handed me it, I took it, as he only started eating when I did, and had the first bite. His eyes looking at my lips, he inhaled and exhaled, before he dig back into his plate.
I went over to help Divya in the kitchen, I entered the room not finding anyone inside, my eyes darted to the wooden basket on the bed, I walked up to the basket, finding so many sweets and sanitary napkins in the basket like the old time when he used to buy me these, but apart from sweets and sanitary napkin, today the entire bed next to it, filled with every single thing I looked at the market and liked it! Everything!
Everything!
How can he?
I turned around to see him behind me, my eyes darting at him standing at the doorframe, his hands crossed, "Did I miss anything?"
My mouth was left open, I had no words! I could not believe him! I just couldn't, he brought me everything! How can he? He walked up to me with a smile that was barely visible on his face, standing right before me, picking up the bangles I picked at the first shop I saw,
As his hands came towards me, but I pulled them back, my eyes haven't left his face once, just shocked, but when I pulled my hand back, he was surprised, "It's haram for a woman to wear bangles by any man other than a blood relative," I reminded myself and him when he nodded.
"But it's perfectly fine in Hindus!" he said, as he caught my hand and started to slide the bangles in my hand, my eyes just stuck to his sharp face,
When he was done, "Someday I will be the reason they will break," I am not sure if this is what he mumbled but any other sentence apart from that did not make sense. He pulled back,
"Won't I get a massage that makes people moan?" He asked me, his eyes resting upon me, my mouth left open, I did not know what to say.
I nodded, I can't say no! Can I? He practically bought me the entire market.
He pinched his nose, taking a step closer with his eyebrow peaking.
I blinked, as I pulled back, "Okay! I will get the oil," I said as I went over for oil, but he stopped me by catching my wrist, "No oil! I just had a bath!" He said I gulped down hard, looking at the hand that he let go of,
"I can't sit on the floor since the bed's height is very high, climb on the bed," he demanded again, authority voice. I gulped, nodding and I walked onto the bed, my legs folded, when he sat on the bed himself, he was still towering over me, but when I got on my knees, half sitting we were finally in the right proportion.
I hovered over his back when he suddenly took his t-shirt off!
He is getting too much now,
My hands went over to his hair, but he shook his head, "Not the hair, the shoulders!" he ordered rubbing his neck,
And as much as I was trying to be logical thinking maybe he is just the child who has the burden on his shoulders so it must be heavy for him, but I knew he was smug about this.
My hand reached his bare shoulders, and my ethics and my religion said loud no but I kept my hand despite, as I started massaging his shoulders, his neck, indeed it was very tight, he has the load, it just never showed on his face. And he spent his hard-earned money on me like this? My guilt rose, I tried my best to give him the best massage and relieve his stress for him.
He had broad shoulders, not hairy at all, smooth, sleek with sweat in the weather, or that he bathed right now?
He caught my arm after some time, and he turned his head up, getting up on his knees himself, turning around to face me, once again towering over me now that he was on his knees.
"I won't do anything tonight because I don't want you to misconclude that I am just so straightforward because I bought you things and you are obliged to do it. But Zehra, it's getting very hard for me to control anymore," he confessed.
"And I know you don't think about marriage as of now. But I don't know how long I can stop my insanity to get me!" he continued,
As he started to get off the bed,
It was all too much to take in the same day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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