"It has been a while since I last saw you, Karlyle."
As soon as the door is opened, he hears someone's voice. Having been looking at the afternoon work schedule sent by his secretary on his tablet, Karlyle raises his eyes. When he shifts his gaze to the door, he sees a man smiling at him. It's Luther Milan, the private doctor of the Frost family.
"Is that so?"
"Yes. It's been 6 years? No, 7 years."
Luther nods slightly and walks to Karlyle. Luther's laboratory, covered with glass, is located on the ninth floor of the Royal Hospital in Whitechapel. And Luther Milan is the director of the only Trait Institute in London.
"It was when you just came back from a business trip to the United States."
Pulling out the chair opposite the blackwood desk, Luther says and laughs again. Since Luther's sitting with his back to the glass wall, sunlight pours into the room glaringly from his behind. He can see a faint cloud of dust in the room.
Karlyle doesn't wince even at the light that is stinging his eyes painfully. He focuses on Luther, who is looking at him with his hands interlocked. Karlyle looks at the test results placed under Luther's hands to be precise.
"You have a good memory, Luther."
"Only for you, Young Master."
"If you bring that story up to ease the mood, it's effective enough. Now tell me the results."
On the paper Luther brought are the results of Karlyle's counseling thirty minutes ago and the light physical function test after that.
Of course those things would be on that paper. Karlyle is here to find out about his abnormalities. Rubert faithfully contacted and reported to Luther at 9 am. And Karlyle is immediately summoned by Luther later in the day.
The corners of his eyes, which haven't squinted once even in the bright light, twist slightly with displeasure. He lightly presses his finger to his temple. He can already guess the result before hearing it from Luther.
"You may have guessed, but…."
"Yes."
"It seems to be psychological insensitivity, Karlyle. It's called orgasmic disorder. There's nothing wrong with your body function."
Although he has expected it, Karlyle sighs, downtrodden at the bitter fact being said right at his face. He, of all people, is in this situation. So upsetting. Shameful. And pathetic.
"According to Hannah, who's in charge of counseling, it's because you are feeling obliged or burdened by sexual behavior."
He recalls the consultation that lasted about an hour. Counseling is not an easy task for Karlyle, who has never shared his true feelings to anyone. It wasn't a consultation he started because he wanted to. He hasn't experienced any dramatic events in his life, nor has he had any trauma resulting from them. Which means that he has never thought there would be a day when he'd have to receive psychological counseling.
The counseling was conducted by an Alpha female in her forties named Hannah. Through a few words that Karlyle reluctantly stuttered, the woman completed her analysis.
"Are you saying I am?" Karlyle asks.
"Based on what you said in the counseling, it seems to be the case. I think this is a valid analysis."
Luther Milan, now 47, is a competent Alpha male who has been the head of the laboratory and his family's doctor since Karlyle was 16. Luther has watched him for a long time, and he agrees with Hannah. So Karlyle only listens and quietly keeps the thought to himself. He doesn't know if it was really worth it.
"More than anyone I know, you are very faithful to your duties, young master. You have been living like that for a long time."
"I don't understand the connection between what you just said and my illness."
"What I want to say is….your sexual life is more like a means or duty to solve the physical reactions of your body."
Luther has been constantly monitoring Karlyle and his younger brother Kyle since forever. He knows not all doctors are like that. This is reserved for members who inherit the last name Frost. Precisely, it's for aristocratic families that produce dominant Alphas.
In England, the aristocratic titles still exist to this day. And the Frost family, who has inherited the Marquis title from generation to generation, is obsessed with maintaining lineage. They have a twisted thinking that in order to produce a dominant Alpha, the family must have good bloodlines. For generations, dominant Alphas come from aristocratic bloodlines, and they are far superior than normal Alphas in many ways. Karlyle's younger brother, Kyle, is this rare dominant Alpha.
It's for this reason that his doctor knows everything about the supposedly private sexual life of his. Although Karlyle is not a dominant Alpha, he has noble blood, so there's a reasonable chance that a great seed would come out of the next generation of descendants.
That's why ever since Karlyle had his first rut, his grandfather has been wary that he might have accidents with an Omega that goes against his "plan". And he put surveilance on Karlyle. The supposedly fresh and youthful relationships young people at that age should have had, Karlyle was also limited.
He cannot fall in love with an Omega that is not a descendant of a prestigious family that will one day be appointed to him. He doesn't even know who that person is yet. He also has to change his partner every rut, in case unnecessary emotions might arise from repeated and frequent meetings.
The popular definition of sex is always foreign to Karlyle. To him, sex is just a natural means to relieve sexual desire during ruts, or a tool needed for business purposes.
"Does that matter?" Karlyle asks.
"Sex is very closely related to mentality, Karlyle "
Karlyle furrows slightly at the word "sex". To him, who is more accustomed to the meaning "sexual intercourse" of it, various words related to sex arouse subtle discomfort in him.
"The burden of the mind also affects sexual function." Luther explains.
Karlyle wants to talk back, but he holds it in. If there's no abnormality in physical function, shouldn't there be no problem with erection and ejaculation? In the first place, sexual intercourse is an act of reproducing of living beings to maintain species. For Karlyle, sex is just mating after all.
But Karlyle keeps his mouth shut instead of refuting. The man in front of him is a doctor, and he knows far more about human physical symptoms than Karlyle. His opinion doesn't matter here. It will be more useful to ask for a solution to the problem.
"I see." Karlyle answers shortly.
"That's what it is, Karlyle. Sex is an act of breeding, but it means more to modern people. It can be a bond that confirms love, it can even be entertainment."
Karlyle has no interest in that. It has nothing to do with him anyway. He dryly asks how to solve it.
"Tell me the prescription, Luther."
"Here's what I think, Karlyle."
"Please say it."
"You should have sex with someone that is not Omega."
That's what Luther says. Karlyle stops pressing his finger on his temple and sits up. His face is taint with wonder.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, if you are already a good sex partner, I don't think Omega will matter…. But I don't think Marquis Frost will allow it."
"There's no way I can do it with an opponent who is not Omega in the first place."
A sly smile appears on Luther's face. Karlyle continues with a cold look.
"Your solution is so absurb."
"Oh Karlyle, you are still as innocent as when you were 16. This Luther is happy to see that."
Karlyle falls silent at Luther's remark. Innocent. How could I be? Doubt appears on his face for a second, then he quickly returns to his usual stoic self.
"Stop talking nonsense, Luther."
"A variety of sex activities are possible without insertion, Karlyle. Of course, insertion is also an option."
Karlyle shuts his mouth. He is slowly getting what Luther is talking about.
"I don't think I can do those activities."
"Karlyle, Alpha and Beta can also feel it. As long as the prostate is intact."
"I have never done anything like that, so I don't think I'll be able to satisfy the other person."
"Oh, Karlyle."
Luther lets out a sigh. This flow of conversation on topics he doesn't intend to talk about makes Karlyle feel troubled. Uncontrolled situations are always uncomfortable.
"I'm saying you should try something new."
His tone sounds strange. Karlyle struggles to figure out the intention behind Luther's words. No way.
"Contrary to what you have been doing so far, you should find someone who can satisfy you, young master."
Karlyle slowly lowers his hand and grips the armrest.
"If you are tired of putting it in, why not trying the opposite?"
Laughter comes out. Karlyle bursts out a low laugh. Only his lips twist on his expressionless face.
"Are you out of your mind?" He asks.
"I sure am. Today, my intelligence and reason are shining brightly. Humanity is lucky to have such a capable trait expert like me."
"I'll pretend I didn't hear it. Please find another way."
"Karlyle."
Luther's smiling, but his voice is serious. Just as Luther knows Karlyle well, Karlyle also knows Luther well. When Luther makes that expression, it means he's being serious.
"If you don't act quickly in the beginning, it will eventually affect your daily life. If you are experiencing problems even during a normal rut, it means you've had psychological problems for quite some time."
"It doesn't necessarily have to be treated this way, does it?"
"I'm saying this because meeting other Alpha or Beta and trying something new is the most effective in this situation."
"Luther."
"For you now, Omega is definitely not the target for normal sex. Even if you have sex, you'll only feel a similar burden or symptom as before."
His words stab right to the point, Karlyle can't say anything. He has to admit it. Karlyle is sick of having sex with Omega. Everytime he faces an Omega, there's so much to care about.
Don't knot. Pay special attention to contraception. Don't make them pregnant. But have to satisfy them….
He is fed up with the rut that comes every month. He just wants to take an inhibitor and passes it over, but he can't do that at his own will. Karlyle closes his eyes for a moment, then opens them.
He still doesn't know what to think about the insertion thing, but Luther is not wrong. He won't have to care too much when having sex with Alpha or Beta like when he does it with Omega.
His desire to have sex by doing this has converged to zero, but….if the symptom continues this way, it'll surely be a problem in the long run. Errors should be corrected early so that there are no issues later. He has to think about this rationally. Pride and personal prefetences have no places in the present situation.
"....All right." He decides to agree.
"You agree quickly, as I supposed."
There is silence for a moment. He knows he has to meet Alpha or Beta. But where can he find them?
"Are you wondering how to find someone like that?"
Luther quickly notices his thought. He is so quick-witted that it's annoying sometimes. Karlyle nods slightly.
"That person must be a very skilled person with more sexual experience than you." Luther adds.
"....It should be so."
"Only a person like that can bring you a new experience."
"I'll have someone look for a person like that."
Karlyle is stunned again. He has to find someone who's very good at sex. His time in London is very tight due to several ongoing projects. It feels like a waste having to spare time and spend all his energy on such an absurd thing like this. Luther shrugs at his words. Then he gets up from his seat.
"I think I can help you with that part." Luther suggests.
Karlyle raises an eyebrow. Luther will?
"There's someone around us who would know a person like that."
"Around us?"
Karlyle asks back, surprised that there's someone like that around him and Luther. Luther smiles and picks up another file on the desk, then he pushes the chair back and moves. Karlyle also follows him. He fixes the chair in place, then walks along Luther. Luther stops at the door.
"You know this person well, Karlyle. Coincidentally, my next appointment is with him. Well, I have to say that heaven has helped us."
Luther opens the door. He can see the hallway behind the wide open door. And there are two people in the waiting area in the hallway. The person with his face similar to him catches Karlyle's eyes first. His skin is white, his black hair is neatly brushed back. That beauty is his younger brother, Kyle. And next to him is….
"Kyle, Nicholas. You are early."
Karlyle didn't expect to see them here now. Then, he soon realizes who "that person" Luther refers to is. It's the blond handsome man sitting holding Kyle's hand. Nicholas White, Kyle's lover and now his spouse.
Karlyle has known Nicholas for a long time. Nicholas saved Kyle when he was kidnapped as a child. His younger brother has loved Nicholas ever since. After 16 years of unrequited love, now Kyle has finally got to be with Nicholas.
It's something to celebrate. Since Kyle has gone through such a horrific experience, he couldn't open up to anyone other than Nicholas.
But, to be introduced to someone by Nicholas White out of nowhere….?
Karlyle quietly recalls information he knows about Nicholas. Come to think of it, Nicholas has met and dated countless people before being with Kyle. It isn't very pleasant information since he knew how much his younger brother suffered at that time. But he can roughly guess why Luther suggested Nicholas. Since Nicholas is an experienced person, shouldn't he know a person as experienced as him?
Karlyle's mouth tenses as he understands his implication. A faint sense of embarrassment creeps over his closed lips.
****
"Ash, I'm coming in."
Somebody knocks on the door of the personal office at the end of the studio. Ash nods. The rectangular design office with four surrounding glass walls, both outside and inside, allows people to see each other, so all he needs is to just raise his head and he can know who comes. It's Olivia from the HR team.
Ash's studio is called <<Unexpected>>, which specializes in designing for advertising agencies, publishing companies, and cultural facilities. It's a medium-sized studio with 40 people. Olivia is the leader of the HR team of two.
"Come on in."
Closing the tab view regarding the recent offer of cooperation from Magma Books, Ash leans back in his chair. Olivia comes in with a gentle smile.
As usual, Olivia watches Ash secretly. For three years since joining the company, she does it everytime she sees Ash and doesn't miss a single day, so he doesn't care about it anymore. He's used to people looking at his face and body. Because Ash's been through this since he was a kid.
"Today is Daniel's trial deadline, so I'm here to ask for evaluation."
"It's about time. Can you schedule a meeting after 1:00?"
Olivia's standing in front of the table. Leaning forward and looking down at him, a smile appears on her lips. Olivia is a Beta. Although it's clear that Ash only dates Alpha, she still asks him out from time to time. She's been in love with Ash for quite a while.
People around him say that this amount of persistence maybe enough to make Ash change his mind, but Ash has never met Olivia in private. No matter how pretty the other person is, if he doesn't have any feelings, things will not happen. Ash Jones is very firm on this point.
"I understand. So, will Daniel join the M&S project as planned?"
"I think Mr. Nielsen will be able to help us compete with GTF. Just proceed with it."
Olivia puts her hands on the table. Ash looks at the cobalt blue nail polish on her fingers, then glances at the cell phone next to them. There's a message. Excusing himself, Ash picks up the phone.
And the message on the screen came from an unexpected person.
[Ash, how have you been?]
The owner of this undeleted number is an old love that seems to have been forgotten.
It's a one-sided love that ended in a disaster. That person just got in touch with Ash.
Ash blinks. Without saying a word, the screen is unlocked. Old messages that have not been deleted also appear. The latest one was from eight months ago, over half a year ago. Below it, one more message has just been sent.
Feeling complicated by the fact, Ash looks at the phone quietly. The sender's name is Nicholas White.
He's the Omega Ash was introduced to. Beating all of his preferences and his rule of meeting Alpha only, Nicholas was the Omega Ash liked at first sight. Nicholas White is different in that he is a Beta transforming to Omega, so it may have added to the impression.
But it didn't turn out well. For the first time in his life, he experienced heartbreak with such bitter feelings. The opponent has dedicated his heart to another Alpha. It's like all of Ash's efforts were for them to get together.
It's not easy to forget, though. We only met briefly, but the emotions were intense. Now, when the memory seems to have gradually faded...
"Ash, what's going on? Are you okay?"
"Oh."
Realizing his eyes have unconsciously stuck to the phone, Ash looks up and smiles at Olivia. For a moment, Olivia is captivated by the soft rising corners of his eyes.
"Sorry. I have an urgent message. Excuse me, can you leave me alone?"
"Sure, all right."
On the polite request, Olivia quickly agrees and leaves. Gently frowned, Ash buries himself in the chair. There's a lot of work to be done, but the mind is blank and white.
It's common sense not to respond to messages like this. It's all over. Seeing the other again will only confuse his mind.
However, people often make stupid choices even though they already know the results.
Sighing, Ash picks up the phone.
Nicholas replies very quickly. Exactly 10 minutes later, Ash accepts Nicholas's offer to meet tonight.
***
"Long time no see, Ash."
After 8 months without meeting, Nicholas White looks a little thinner than before. Ash smiles at the man with dark brown eyebrows, sharp jawbones, and warm green eyes. The scent of the body that he once yearned for vibrates softly in the air. It's like the soft sunlight, bright like his hair color.
"It's been a long time, Nick."
Ash calls Nicholas's nickname as usual. Nicholas doesn't really fix it, either. They're at a cafe in Covent Garden, where Ash's company is located. The address is in Costa, close to the station.
As soon as he saw Nicholas in the suit, longing rises. It's pathetic. Months have passed but he still has these feelings. How ridiculous it is that even at this age, he still can't let go of an old love.
Swallowing the bitter laugh inside, Ash strokes his chin. Strength runs quietly into his hand holding the coffee cup.
"How are you doing?"
"I'm fine. What about Nick?"
Nicholas pauses. Maybe Ash understands why. It must have been because of the ring on Nicholas' hands holding coffee.
"... I'm fine, too."
Nicholas glances down at the ring that Ash's gaze has touched. It's just a guess. But at the same time, not a guess
"Ash."
With a puzzled expression, Nicholas's face turns serious. Ash can hear regret in his voice. Nicholas shakes his head again.
"I shouldn't have asked to see you. It's not something I want to do when being asked... Maybe it's better to call off this invitation. I'm sorry."
"It's all right."
Ash replies quietly. It hurts. It really hurts, but it doesn't matter. He has already expected this. He just doesn't think they'd get married so soon.
Ash quietly takes a sip of coffee. The coffee beans taste bitter. Nicholas waits quietly for him. As soon as he calms down, Ash says with a smile.
"It's okay. It's good to see you after a while."
"... You don't even know why I asked you to meet me."
"That's true."
Shrugging his shoulders, Ash puts down the cup.
"Nick wants to ask me a favor, how can I decline?"
"Even if the offer is a bit weird?"
"I'll listen and decide."
He doesn't accept the invitation because he wants Nick to feel awkward. He just wants to check. How his heart is now, and whether his old crush is still happy. That's all he wants to know.
"All right, then."
Nicholas nods. Ash bursts into laughter. He likes that about Nicholas. Very determined when he has made a decision.
"Then let me ask you something, Ash."
"I'm listening."
Keeping the smile on his face, Ash strokes his chin. Nicholas hesitates, rubs his forehead, and finally pops the question.
"Are you seeing anyone right now?"
"I didn't think it would be this question."
Ash tilts his head, the corners of his eyes narrow.
"Do you miss me after getting married, Nick? If you want to, even if you're married, it's all right. There's a little taste of adulthood in there."
"It's not like that."
Laughing softly, Nicholas sighs and continues.
"I know it's bad of me to ask this question..."
"Don't blame yourself. I'll be sad."
"Trust me, Ash. I really don't want to do this."
"I'm kidding, Nick. Go on."
Looks like Nicholas has become more assured after seeing that Ash was just being playful, he hesitates a little, then goes on.
"So... if you're not seeing anyone, I have an offer for you."
"For me?"
"Whatever the price you want, it's okay. You can even ask to be introduced to any jobs of interest, or if you want to pay with money, you can name the price as you pleased."
As things progress beyond imagination, Ash lowers his gaze.
"What is going on?"
"It's not anything suspicious."
Ash nods. The man in front of him is a lawyer. So it's not going to be illegal.
"Can you be a person's friend with benefits for about one or two months, Ash?"
Seems like he has made the decision, Nicholas earnestly suggests. Ash stares at the other.
"Didn't Nicholas just say you don't miss me?"
"I'm asking for someone else, not me."
Ash bursts into laughter at the firm statement. So that's why he feels guilty. It's weird. Accept the offer to meet the person who rejected you, and then be asked if you want to be friends with benefits with someone else. If Nicholas himself makes this offer, it looks like that person is very important.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too."
"I'll decide after meeting that person."
I also have my own taste. That's what Ash said. Apparently sympathetic, Nicholas nods, then puts the phone in front of Ash.
"Actually, Ash has met him before."
After that, Nicholas shows him a picture. Ash slowly sits up straight, looking at the man on the screen.
That's right. Like Nicholas said, he has met him before. It was on the day Nicholas rejected Ash.
"Is that Kyle's brother? This person."
"That's right. His name is Karlyle Frost. If you agree, as I suggested earlier, regarding the price..."
Listening to Nicholas, he looks at the man in the picture. Black gray hair, cold gray eyes, and red lips clasped. And skin tone as pale as the hair.
The man in an elegant suit, a cold and not friendly at all face, with neatly combed hair showing off the straight forehead. He's handsome. The sculpture-like sharp face shows an attractive coldness. A look that totally suits Ash's taste. This face on bed will surely be great. But...
"What a surprise."
"What?"
"I thought this person doesn't like me."
"You're not wrong."
Ash remembers the day he met the man. While he was about to say goodbye to Nicholas, that man showed up and said harsh words, misunderstanding that Nicholas and Ash were having an affair. It's an encounter with no name.
He looked at Ash with contempt, not even saying a word to him. He ignored him, and only spoke rebuke to Nicholas. The meeting itself didn't leave Ash feeling comfortable in many ways. He likes this face, but first impression wasn't good.
Moreover, the man is not the type of personality that is common around him. Frankly, it's not the type Ash likes. To be more frank, he hates that personality.
The boundaries are clearly drawn, and the expressionless face is hard to grasp. What's more, that man is arrogant. To be honest, the fact that he suddenly showed up, ignored Ash and put pressure on Nicholas, the person Ash liked, was very arrogant.
Rather, it's hard to see such a person in a good way. For someone who doesn't particularly like or dislike anybody like Ash, this kind of upset is rare.
"If you're uncomfortable, you don't have to accept. I'm sorry again, Ash."
"Nick, it's okay."
Ash stops Nicholas. Seeing Nicholas apologizing so politely, it doesn't feel comfortable. Even though he doesn't have feelings for the other any more, Nicholas is still someone he used to like. How can he let that person bow down like that?
Basically, Ash Jones feels the happiest when he sees the person he loves happy.
Yes... that's what it is.
"No need to give me anything, Nick."
Nicholas gently frowns at the confusing statement. Laughing softly, Ash asks Nicholas a question.
"If you answer my question, I'll do my best to help."
"... Please say it."
Then, like it's gonna be the last time really looking into the opponent's eyes, Ash stares at Nicholas for a long time. Then he opens his mouth.
"If I take this offer..."
"Yes."
"If so, Nick will be happy. Right?"
A silence passes. Still smiling, Ash quietly drinks coffee. Nicholas thinks for quite a while, then slowly opens his mouth.
"Yes. If you ask me that, then yes."
Guessed so. Ash knew Nicholas would say that. Nicholas loves Kyle. If it's about your lover's brother, then of course, it regards your lover as well. He has got the answer. Ash nods gently. Then it's okay.
"Then I'll take it, Nick."
If it makes your loved one happy, if his actions can help Nick... then he's happy, too.
"So, tell me what to do?"
The price he needs... just Nick's smile is enough.