CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SAT PREPPY
"think i like you best when
you're with me and no one else"
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There are three things we do alone: We are born, we die,
and if we're a high school junior headed for college, we take the SAT.
And while the test is said to measure our best traits,
preparing for it inevitably brings out the worst.
Humility becomes self-doubt
Striving becomes obsession.
Some are driven to self-medication.
While others cling to the security of being part of a group.
And anyone who's used to bending the rules will find themselves breaking them.
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"I hugely preferred you when you are in that weird good mood of yours."
"Shut up, and maybe I'll finally become happy again." Amelia snapped sourly, finding Dan's attempt at being funny incredibly annoying.
The girl in question was currently sprawled across the couch at the Humphrey loft. Books, flashcards and endless stacks of paper was scatted across the living room. The clutter of SAT preparations was driving Dan ever so slightly insane, but he was too deep into studying to fully care. Amelia, who was responsible for the clutter, didn't care. All she wanted to do was to get this studying over with, receiving a good score on her SATs and finally, sleep till summer.
"Okay." Dan smacked shut his textbook, sitting upright on the couch. "Spit it out."
"Spit what out?" Amelia asked, playing dumb.
Dan rolled his eyes at the girl. "You know what."
"I really don't."
"Just tell me what's got you on this horribly grumpy mood." Dan scoffed, eyes scrutinised on the brunette girl. She crossed her arms over her chest in annoyance.
"Your constant nagging." She grumbled in response. "I wasn't in a bad mood, till you asked be about a hundred times why I was in a bad mood. Now I am in a bad mood." Amelia pointed at the Humphrey boy. "Blame yourself."
Dan rolled his eyes for the hundredth time that evening. It was clearly something up her ass, and it was even clearer that she didn't want to talk about it. So, he decided to let it be. Finally.
The remainder of the evening was spent in almost complete silence. Jenny was on strict house arrest after sneaking out the night of her birthday ( oh, and for stealing a ridiculously expensive custom made Valentino dress ). She had locked herself in her own room as some sort of protest against the house arrest, to which Amelia was grateful for. The two hadn't spoken after that gossip girl post that Amelia in a seriously pissy mood. The Hopper girl knew it was unreasonable to hold a grudge against the blonde, but she couldn't help but to harbour annoyance against her. She was hoping space between the two of them would do the trick.
Rufus was softly strumming to a guitar as he hummed along. Amelia always did find it comforting to listen to the man play around with music. He had a good voice, and it made for good background music. Amelia hated silence, due to growing up with parents who literally played music twenty four seven. It had made her put on the tv in the background of her apartment whenever she was alone and studying. The sound made the space feel more welcoming, and in turn lessened the feeling of loneliness.
Dan piped up every now and then with a question to which Amelia always knew the answer to. He had been off his game lately, what with all the upper east side stuff and his blonde it girl of a girlfriend. Fortunately for Dan, Amelia was great at keeping him in check school wise.
"So. . . When's Serena coming over?" Amelia decided to break the silence, finally putting down her textbook.
Dan frowned slightly at the question, jutting away in his notebook. "Eh, she's not. She said she was going to come, then she postponed it some. And then some more. I've made the assumption she's not going to show." He explained.
Amelia messily shoved her hair out of her face and into a bun, putting her pencil behind her ear. "What's got her so busy?" She queried in curiosity.
"Out with a friend, I think." Dan replied.
"Out? The SATs are in a few days, and she's out?" Amelia questioned in surprise. She knew the Van Der Woodson had a history of partying, but according to Dan that was all past her.
"She was suppose to come over so we could study, but I don't know. . ." Dan trailed off at the end. He was obviously a bit upset by having been stood up for their study date, so Amelia decided not to push the subject further.
"Oh, hi Amelia. Didn't know you were here." Jenny stepped out of her room for the first time that night. A bright smile fell on her lips when she spotted the brunette.
Amelia automatically frowned. In a rush, she began showing her belongings into her bag, slinging over her shoulder before making a beeline for the door. "I have to go, see you tomorrow Dan." She called before disappearing out the front door.
The Humphrey siblings shared a look of confusion. "What was that?"
"I have no idea."
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Spotted: Serena Van Der Woodsen,
being given a real life multiple choice question. A: go home and study,
B: get a good night's sleep,
C: call your boyfriend, or
D. . . None of the above.
Hope that wasn't the wrong answer, S.
This test doesn't grade on a curve
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A bad mood could only get worse by the presence of Nate Archibald. Well, at least for Amelia right now.
She had originally hoped she'd be able to get through the school day unscathed ( unscathed meaning that she wouldn't be unfortunate enough to bump into anyone of the people she was desperate to avoid ), but her dreams were crushed when Nate approached her by her locker. Her dreams were in hindsight unrealistic. They went to the same school, what was the chances he took the hint and actually kept his distance?
"Hey, feel like I haven't seen you these last couple of days." He leaned against the locker next to hers with a charming grin on display. He was happy to see her again, not having spoken to her since the day he had to run out on her. Nate hadn't thought a lot over that night as he simply gambled on her understanding why he had to run out. It was, after all, about Jenny. And Jenny and Amelia were friends, right?
"That's because you haven't." The brunette grumbled back.
Nate found himself taken aback by the aggression in her voice. He had only ever seen the girl either happy, or shy. Never pissed off or annoyed, and certainly not on him.
"Are you okay?" He questioned, brows furrowed.
The question made Amelia want to smack him. She was deeply annoyed that he even had to ask her that. Wasn't it obvious? Shit, if he couldn't even piece that puzzle together, he probably had no idea why she was feeling the way she was either. That made her even angrier. It made her want to shove the ridiculously big book in her hands up his—
"I'm okay, don't I look okay to you? In fact, I'm just freaking peachy! I'm dandy! Ecstatic even!" The girl sarcastically spat. "Now excuse me while I take my sunshine mood elsewhere." She slammed the door to her locker shut, causing the Archibald to jump ever so slightly.
Nate watched in confusion as Amelia pretty much stomped away from him. His eyes fell on Dan standing a couple of feet from him, having watched the scene unfold.
"What's going on with her?" Nate asked in confusion, hoping Dan could provide him with information.
Dan shrugged. "I have no idea. I think maybe the stress of the SATs are getting to her." He guessed. Only a few days ago she was walking on clouds, and now all of a sudden this? It didn't make any sense to the Humphrey.
Dan would have caught up on her bad mood a hell of a lot earlier if it hadn't been for the fact that he was struggling with problems of his own. Serena had been pulling away recently. She was keeping secrets, so much was obvious, and she refused to tell him what was going on. Dan felt guilty for doubting her, especially knowing that this was Serena Van Der Woodson. But he couldn't help it. Something was off, and it was stealing his focus away from his friend.
"Yeah, maybe."
Dan walked away from the Archibald, deciding to check up on Amelia. She had taken residence in an empty classroom at a desk. Her book was sprawled out across the desk, her head promptly propped up by the palm of her hand as her eyes scurried across the pages. He tapped the desk with his fist lightly, gaining her attention. Amelia effective immediately groaned and rolled her eyes. She wasn't in the mood for a check up, she was in the mood to be alone with her god damned book.
"What, Dan." She grumbled in annoyance. Dan blinked in suprise. Despite having known the girl for several years, he had never been on the receiving end of her tantrums or whatever. Amelia and Dan never fought, barely ever argued. Yet here she was, snapping at him in annoyance. The Humphrey boy was stunned.
"What's up with you?" Dan questioned, not bothering to beat around the bush.
"Nothings going on, geez. Can't I just ask for a moment of peace and quiet to myself without it disturbing the cosmos or something?" Amelia scoffed.
The dark haired boy slid into the desk next to her making it obvious he wasn't about to let this go. "Bunny, what's going on. I know you, something's up."
"Whatever, Dan. Your skull is thicker then this book if you think me wanting my alone time has to equal something being wrong. What, just because I don't want to swoon over Nate Archibald, or constantly listen to you ramble on about Serena, that means something's up with me? Give me a break." Amelia stood to her feet as she gathered her things, quickly exiting the room and the conversation all together.
Dan sat at the desk in disbelief. What the hell had just happened?
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Everyone handles stress differently,
and according to onlookers Brooklyn baby
doesn't handle it very well. . .
What's got you so angry, baby?
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It was official.
Out of the many subjects at school Amelia Hopper mastered, PE certainly wasn't one of them. So much was obvious when the girl found herself sprinting to school that very morning. One foot infront of the other, her legs pumping into the cement sidewalk. Her breath raked her entire body, letting her and everyone around her know that she was completely out of shape. Perhaps the brunette didn't know what she wanted her future to look like, but at least she knew what she absolutely didn't want it to look like.
Amelia did realize that the chances of her looking like a complete and utter maniac running down the street like were high, but she couldn't help but to not give a shit right now. You see, this morning she hit the snooze button one too many times, and that wouldn't have been too big of deal on any other morning, but this particular one meant disaster. The SAT's was not something she could afford to miss. A second too late and the doors would be shut and sealed along with her shot at a Ivy League future.
The Hopper girl was cursing herself out for ever letting herself get in this situation.
She had spent the course of the last few days studying to the point she was pulling her hair out. It was a horribly disgusting habit no one had been around to reprimand. No one but Dan and Jenny. The two would occasionally have to swat the girl over the head to remind her to stop pulling hairstrands out of her head. Jenny would demand the brunette to 'stop ruining her potenial' and that if she kept doing that, she was going to end up bald. Amelia replied with 'who cares if I'm pretty if I fail?'. Dan didn't really say more other than 'will you stop that? It looks like a freaking shedding dog ran across the table'. Nonetheless the reprimanding from the siblings would subdue the bad habit for a short time. Then, the next time she'd hyper focus or was stressed out, they were back at square one. And with the week Amelia had just had, it was shocking there was even a single strand left on her head.
Amelia was sure that if she tipped her head over, her brain would leak out in form of mush. The second this stupid SAT was over and done with, she was going to relearn how to open a freaking door. That's how mushy her brain currently felt.
Relief washed over her when she spotted the building. She just needed to haul her ass throu this day, then she could spend her weekend relaxing doing nothing but reading a good book with a cup of hot chocolate. The brunette had just picked up some romance book she couldn't wait to read. Dreaming reality away pretending to live a much more attractive life always did beat anything else.
Speaking of romance; Amelia was absolutely fuming.
Yes, she had absolutely jumped to conclusions, but she didn't care. She had wracked her brain in an attempt to come up with viable excuses as to why Nate gave her a kiss goodbye because he had to go looking for Dan, only for him to end up squeezed between Jenny and Penelope freaking Shafai at some stupid fancy restaurant Amelia could never afford going to. Was that why he had ditched her? He would rather spend his evening eating some fancy expensive dinner than holed up in her apartment with some cheap takeout with Amelia. Or was it because he was just looking for an excuse— any excuse to get away from her. Nate was just playing around with the idea of using her as a rebound, and he was done with her.
Dan and her hadn't spoken since she blew up on him in the classroom and then ran out on him. He had shot her a few texts to ask if she was okay, to which she had replied dryly too. Amelia was feeling horrible for taking her bad mood out on him, but she was just so frustrated with everything. The SATs were really stressing her out, and that thing with Nate had highkey hurt her feelings. And she was angry at herself for even caring that much about a stupid gossip girl blast. She hadn't even asked Nate about it, she didn't have the full story. But after what happened with Devon her heart kept jumping to conclusions as to not wound up the same way.
It was unfair to put that on Nate, Amelia was aware of it.
God, these thoughts creeping in on her just wouldn't leave her alone. Amelia was going to go crazy if she didn't get that damned boy out of her head. This was such an Amelia Hopper thing of her to do. There were a thousand other things that needed her immediate attention, things such as the SATs, yet here she was overthinking her relationship to a boy she barely even knew.
Amelia sighed sorrowfully as she waited in line to sign in. The woman at the desk infront of her shot her a look of pity. The brunette ignored it as she quickly jutted her name down on the list. All she wanted to do was to get this stupid day over with, and then she could return to wallowing in self pity and frustration.
"You look extra somber today." The very last thing Amelia needed right now was for someone to get in her nerve, yet here Julian Murdoch was, doing just that.
The girl held up her hand to stop him from speaking further. "Not today, Murdoch. I'm not in the mood."
He opened his mouth to tease the girl like usual, but decided against it. She seemed more agitated than normally. The blonde haired boy opted to walk next to the Hopper girl in silence, only opening his mouth to wish her good luck. She returned the favour, eternally grateful that he respected her enough to leave her enough.
And with that she could finally turn the page, and with it, her attention.
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Looks like our queen wannabe's found her perfect king. We hear he's a Unity man. Guess big brother's been teaching little sis how to snag the ones with a trust fund.
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"Hey, Bunny! Hey, wait up."
The SATs had gone well, at least that's what Amelia was hoping they had. She's managed to stay as concentrated as possible, but the second she left she could feel her bad mood returning. Much to her dismay, Nate finished around the same time ( he had finished way before her, but was hanging back waiting for her ).
He had shot her a few text messages that had went unanswered, and he was in the mood for an explanation to her outburst. Amelia was not. She really didn't want to face the music. The longer she ignored him, the more she realized how stupid it was of her to hold this grudge. What was she even mad about? They weren't dating. They weren't anything! So how could she be hurt by that photo? But now that she'd been ignoring him this far, she was committed.
"Hold up!" Nate grabbed her by her shoulders, halting her in her steps. She couldn't force herself to look him in the eye, so instead her eyes found the ground. "What's up? I've been trying to get a hold of you."
"I've been busy." She excused. Amelia knew that she had a horribly bad habit of falling for every guy she was talking to, but she was hoping she'd grown from that after Devon. Instead, it appeared she had become furthermore damaged from how things went down between them, and now she was acting like a complete brat.
"Busy doing what?" Nate queried, knowing damn well she hadn't been. After getting to know her little by little he knew that unless she was hanging out with Dan or working, she had absolutely zero plans always.
"Busy doing stuff." She said, finally meeting his eyes.
Nate scoffed. "What is going on with you? I thought we were having fun. Do you not want to see me anymore or something."
"I don't know Nate. You just ended things with Blair, and I'm begging to realize that I'm not over what happened with my ex." Amelia burst.
"Don't worry about Blair, I'm over it." Nate quickly assured.
"I'm just freaking out more than I should, I know that." Amelia felt like an idiot. She was self destructing hard, yet she couldn't stop.
Nate grabbed a hold of her hand. "Whatever's going on, we can talk about it? I like being with you, and I wanna see where it can go. I don't want to stop seeing you."
Amelia could feel her heart melting at his words, but the lingering feeling of fear wouldn't leave. She nodded. They could keep things fun and light for now. Amelia was going to have to get a grip and stop overthinking. Maybe this thing with Nate— whatever it was— could work.
A few feet from the two stood Blair Waldorf. She watched the two carefully with glaring eyes. She had messed up with Nate, and now he was with some Brooklyn piece of nothing? Blair simply couldn't let that slide. . .
Amelia found herself in a much better mood when she returned home to her apartment that night. With everything with Nate cleared up and with the SATs over and done with, she found herself feeling confident. She'd managed to study and stay focused, and the brunette was proud that she'd done exactly her best today. Nate's reassurance somehow made every single bad thought fly out of her head never to return. Something about the way he simply wanted to talk, even though she was unfairly upset with him. He understood, he cared. Amelia couldn't help but to smile at the thought. He of all people. Nate Archibald enjoyed her company, and her bad sides didn't immediately scare him off. For her, that was to be considered a win. And a major one at that.
Amelia had made sure to shoot Dan a text apologizing for her behavior, to which he had forgiven her for. He didn't care that she blew up every now and then, everyone did. Everyone's cup runs over sometimes, and holding a grudge against his best friend just because hers ran over? It would have been mean and unfair. So he forgave him, just like she forgave him when he messed up. Amelia was glad, making sure to express her gratitude for him. She was lucky to have a friend like that, he made her heart smile, and her soul fulfilled.
But her grin quickly vanished when the two faces lingering outside of her apartment complex waved eagerly at her. Amelia's mouth almost fell agape after the sight, confusion clouding her. The Hopper girl quickened her pace, halting infront of the two.
"Mom, dad? What are you guys doing here?"
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Has all traditions been abounded? Since when does the Queen B stand alone, but the peasant scores the prince? Times do change.
Poor B, bet you didn't see this one coming.
Neither did I. Golden boy and Brooklyn baby? Who would've have thought. Don't believe me? Check this pic I got as proof.
You know you love me. . .
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word count; 3790
a/n
here you guys go with chapter fifteen ! we are nearing the end of this season, and i am contemplating whether or not i should add act two as season two, or if i should make act two an entirely different book. most like it will be the former of the two, but who knows. give me ur opinion about it ! i hope to post the last chapter of season one as chapter eighteen, which does mean there's three more chapters to go ! this is all so exciting i'm so happy and excited to get this all out for you guys !! hope u guys enjoyed the chapter, and stay tuned for the next three !
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