The glass of wine is halfway to my lips when I hear a familiar voice mumble from behind me. "I've gotta say, you're not an easy woman to find." My shoulders immediately stiffen and I feel on edge, like a spooked animal waiting to run or fight.
Leon casually takes the seat opposite me at the table, and I look around the restaurant uneasily. There's a few people here but not enough to notice if anything goes down between us. I silently curse myself, this was a terrible idea, I should've just ordered room service like usual at the hotel I'm staying at.
Leon looks at me curiously for a second before his gaze breaks away from my face and lingers on the table. He reaches out and grabs a slice of garlic bread left over from my dinner, but I grab his wrist and shake my head once. He drops it with a half smile, letting out a small sigh. "You never did like to share your food," he chuckles, "or your plans." He adds a bit more sternly. Ah I see, he's angry at me. Good.
I purse my lips and stuff a slice of garlic bread in my mouth to avoid talking. I avert my eyes as I chew, hoping he'll go away or fill the silence. I swallow and he's yet to speak. "I want to be alone." I quietly say.
Leon huffs and crosses his arms, leaning back in the chair he looks at me with a single brow raised. "Really?" He asks in a condescending tone, "Because it's been two and a half months and you disappeared as soon as we got back from the mission."
I grit my teeth together. Flashes of blood and screams fill my mind. We accomplished the mission but there were so many casualties, so many lives we couldn't save.
"Didn't you get the hint?" I sarcastically say, reaching into my pocket and pulling out some money. I leave it on the table as I get up and shrug on my jacket. Grabbing my wine I down the last bit and walk out as Leon follows on my heels. I huff once I reach outside, it's bad enough that it's dark, but it's pouring of rain too. Luckily my hotel isn't a far walk, so I take a deep breath and begin my trek.
"Hey!" Leon shouts over the downpour, I ignore him and walk faster, but he grabs my arm and spins me around, "Stop running!" He frowns.
I shake my head, feeling too much. "No." Leon curses and runs a hand through his wet hair, I'm tempted to reach out and do it myself, so I shove my hands in my pockets and stalk away. Once again Leon follows me all the way back to the hotel and to my door.
"Can't we just talk? Please." He desperately murmurs, his eyes bore into mine and I know I'm defeated. I nod once and let him into the chaos I call home, even if it is temporary. I've been skipping states every few weeks, trying to avoid the inevitable.
Leon looks around as I close the door behind me, I take off my jacket as Leon watches me. "It wasn't just shit for you, we all saw the same things."
I freeze, my breath comes quick but I keep myself controlled, my hands clench as my nails bite into my palms. "Leave. Now."
Leon shakes his head and steps closer to me, grabbing both of my arms. "I gave you time. Two fucking months! We were supposed to be a team, I mean I'm sure we were in a relationship for fuck sake!" He doesn't shout, but he's pissed. Makes sense, he's right. I left without a word, just got up in the middle of the night a day after coming back from the mission, leaving Leon in our bed as I ran as far as I could hoping to outrun the memories.
I shrug him off, stepping out of his hold. "Just go. It's not worth it." I say, my voice wobbles as Leon's jaw tenses.
"Don't say that. You're worth everything to me. Let's just go home, we can talk it through, maybe it'll help if we-" Leon begins, but I shake my head and feel anger replace the fear. Fight or flight once again rearing its head.
"Just leave me alone!" I cry out, "I don't want to come back, I can't. I hate you, just leave!" I shout so loud my throat strains. Tears rapidly fall down my face as my legs collapse, before I fall to the ground Leon's arms wrap around me, he shushes me as I sob and sob.
"It's alright, I'm here for you," he softly coos, rubbing my back as I bury my face into his neck, my hands cling to him as I fall apart, "I'll be your punching bag, I can take what you throw at me, just don't run from me."
Eventually the tears stop, my breathing is ragged as I sit between Leon's legs, his body a warm blanket around me as I take deep breaths and try to pick myself up from rock bottom. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I whisper as I look up to Leon.
His face falls as he takes in my sad eyes, so he reaches up and brushes my cheek, his fingers gently tilt my chin up as he leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips. "I know." He smiles reassuringly.
"I- it just haunts me. We've done missions before but...it wasn't right. None of what we saw was right." I say, grabbing Leon's arm as he brushes my hair away from my face. He nods in understanding, squeezing me closer to him as we continue to sit on the hotel floor.
"I know. We did the best we could, and all we can do is move on. We can't change the past, and we tried our best in the present. We can't let it ruin our future." Leon softly says, I nod and stand up, running a hand over my face. I'm drained, and feel disgusting.
I undress and crawl into bed, Leon begins to tidy the room but I reach out my arms and he smiles, dropping the random top and coming over to me. He slips under the covers and pulls me into his body, my head buries into the crook of his neck as he wraps his arms and legs around me. "I promise it'll all be okay, and I swear I'll be here by your side no matter what. Through it all I'll always love you."
I smile and breathe him in. "Thank you, I love you too. I should never have left."
Leon makes a noise of approval. "Hmm yeah, but at least I had a nice two month vacation travelling around as I was looking for you."
"Eh, I guess something positive come out of all this then." I joke, Leon huffs and kisses the top of my head as I bask in his warmth and strength.