•••
"Alright everyone, settle down please," Miranda clapped her hands, gaining the attention of the people in the room. We all went back to our previous sitting position and I was glad to see Penelope by my side smiling at me in an encouraging way.
"I have a few announcements to make before we conclude. The first being our weekly assignment. Please I want all of us to preach to at least two people this coming week. I know it may be difficult but we need to raise a bold generation of christians. We'll give our report in our next meeting and hopefully we'll be seeing some new faces," she smiled. Freddy whispered something into her ear.
"The flyers are yet to be delivered widely. Zeph is distributing them as we speak, two for each person to give out. I entreat all of us to do it," she said. "And finally the preparations for Youth revival camp are in progress as we speak. Can I get a hoot hoot!"
I watched the members erupt in cheers and murmuring amongst themselves about how this camp is going to turn out. The moment I got to interact with the people here all my worries disappeared. They were... normal? They didn't behave anyhow is what I mean, just simple teens trying to live their lives by the pattern of God. I imagined everyone to be serious without a concept of fun in their lives—I think a lot of people assume this.
"Freddy will be in charge of registration. Meet him at the porch to sign up."
"Ooh I can't wait to write my name down," Ruby jumped up and down excitedly, "The rumors of last year's camp were insane, I can't miss this year's own for anything. And who knows all the fun packed Christian activities waiting for us."
"I'm excited for the competition," said Jennifer. "I wonder what this year's topic will be about. I need to start looking for a partner."
"Nope, not me. I had to put up with you last year and it wasn't exactly fun." Erica raised her hand in surrender, scooting away from Jennifer who grinned at her.
"It's not supposed to be fun Erica," Nathaniel said. "But then again Jennifer does know how to work a person up."
They all laughed at his comment.
"What about you Daniel?" Penelope asked, drawing their attention to me. "Do you think you'll stick around for the camp?"
Her question was something I didn't consider. Now that I've decided to relearn everything about my faith I should be thinking about going home yet I didn't feel like going back. Despite my decision, home wasn't an appealing place to me anymore. I should at least try, right? And Mr Richardson must be tired of housing me, we had a deal. So many questions without answers.
Trust in God.
"I don't even know what this competition is about," I said.
"Our Pastor and church elders in collaboration with the youth group decide on a topic for us to research and learn about. At the end of camp we have a competition consisting of two persons in a team on the decided topic. Sometimes they inculcate it in a fun way like puzzles and stuff to make the competition more lively and interesting. It's a really fun way to gain more knowledge," Joseph explained. "It started eight years ago and Jennifer here has had the privilege to win once with her partner Simeon."
"Don't forget Poppy," Ruby said, wrapping her arm around Penelope's neck, "She won last year with Nathaniel and you don't see them getting crazy about it."
"Well that's because they're too modest," said Jennifer. "Not that it's not good to be modest. You get what I mean."
Penelope chuckled, "Guys, guys, guys, relax. I don't even know if I'll attend this year."
They all groaned in protest. Erica and Jennifer insisted that she come, they wouldn't let anything get in the way. Jennifer and Joe told her she'd have to come up with a really good reason. Nathaniel focused on the guitar in his hands, not really caring to involve himself in their bickering.
"Nonna needs someone to take care of her and—"
"I can take care of her," I said. "Don't forget I'm still an employee and can handle any house work or outside of the house work that she has for me."
"You work for Bessy?" Ruby asked.
"I'll tell you later and that'll mean you also won't attend because you'll be taking care of Nonna," Penelope said. "Plus I have work at the diner this break. I can't afford to attend. I'm sorry."
Her reasons weren't strong enough.
"Okay," Jennifer nodded and gave her a side hug. "We can understand."
"Thanks. I love you guys so much."
Does that include me?
We conversed for a little while before Miranda led us in closing prayer.
•••
Sometimes people rush to grow up. They're in a rush to run a race they're not prepared for and they end up losing. When I was younger I watched my seniors change when they weren't ready, they did things they shouldn't so people would see them as adults. But when they reached that point they began to crave for the little moments of being a child so why not enjoy it while it lasts?
And the other case is those who wait for when they're older thinking everything will get better then. When I'm in highschool I'll take my studies seriously, when I complete university I'll start taking my life seriously, when I'm twenty five I'll start planning how to set my life in order or when I'm eighteen I'll look beautiful or when I'm done with school I'll start losing weight. The procrastinations are endless honestly.
Why am I saying this?
I'm saying it because I find myself stuck between the two. I want to grow up so I can make decisions for myself and live the life I want away from my mother, and yet I keep telling myself when I reach this point I'll be able to attain certain things I want to in life. It's a contrast and it has me staring at the ceiling wracking my brain for the best possible solution.
Mrs Bessy was kind enough to accommodate me in one of her guest bedrooms. I barely said anything during dinner to which Penelope reacted by sending me worried looks. Was she scared that I've changed my mind already because I was full of smiles and laughter during the youth meeting?
It's just the question she asked that stuck with me. Will I be around in the next two weeks? Or will I go back home to my mother and live a life like I'm constricted.
I happen to like this place. Mr Richardson feels like an uncle I didn't have if not a father with him always worrying about me, Penelope's friends feel like the kind of people I need who will encourage me instead of bringing me down, Bessy feels like the grandmother I never had. In conclusion, I had built a small family and it made me feel at peace.
The thought of leaving just isn't an option.
"Hey," she said softly beside the door. "Can I come in?"
I nodded.
She sat on the edge of the bed while I scooted to give her some space. "Are you okay?"
"I don't know," I said.
"Wanna talk about it? I'm a good listener."
"This time it's different. It's not about God, it's about my family."
"But I didn't say I wanted to hear only your problems that concern God, did I? I'm your friend, any problem at all I'm here to listen and give wise input."
"It's just," I clenched my fist, "I don't want to bother you, I usually keep my worries to myself because it makes me feel selfish."
She hummed. We sat silently for what felt like an hour but was only four minutes.
"There was a time in my life where I shut down, always keeping it to myself and let me tell you it hurt me more than the things that happened. I didn't allow myself to let people in, I kept it all to myself and eventually I became ruined because of it. And guess who I put all the blame on? The one who had promised me everything, God. It's just so so easy to do that because of who he says he is but we forget that God gave us freewill and that these things happen sometimes because of how people are. God can intervene when we really call out to him or out of his goodness. No matter the hurdle just reach out to him, don't distance yourself by worrying. Put all your trust in him, Daniel. Surrender and you'll see the way."
"Why are you telling me this? It sounds unrelated."
She turned to me, "I'm saying this so you can build a firm mind. Anything can go wrong but you mustn't break down and lose all your hard work. Sure, you have family issues, the outcome might not be what you expect but you should still go with it as God's will. Don't worry and lose sight of the present. As God said, let tomorrow worry about itself."
At that moment I heard a voice and it told me one thing.
Go back.
It's the only way my heart can feel at peace. I looked at Penelope's face, full of life and wisdom beyond mine. Her Holy Spirit gave her wisdom and it showed in her speech. Those words were enough to open my eyes to what I needed to do. But by looking at her, I couldn't take that step to go back.
Am I defying God's direction by being stubborn?
I decided to change the topic to something light. I reached into my bag and pulled out her notebook. "I'm sorry for lying."
She grabbed the book from me and scanned the pages silently. "Why did you take it?"
"I know, it was stupid. I was curious and I let—"
"I mean," she tilted her head, smiling at me, "Were you afraid to admit defeat? You didn't want to be wrong by asking so you hid it behind my back. Come on, don't deny it this time mister."
"What are you talking about? I was only saving it so I could know what the big deal is about this book. You should be thanking me for finding it." Penelope was trying to tease me.
"Oh thank you, great Daniel, for rescuing my book. What would I have done without you?"
We stared at each other and immediately burst out in laughter. She fell on the bed beside me and by the time we settled down she was lying very close to me, mirth flashing in her eyes.
I looked away before she caught me staring. Suddenly the ceiling was worth my focus.
"Are we still on for karaoke tomorrow?"
"I don't remember agreeing to karaoke please. I'm not ready to embarrass myself. Jennifer says my voice sounds like a crying whale."
I laughed. "That'll make everything more fun. The chance to tease you is very appealing to me."
"Or we could go to an amusement park. What do you think? Junk food, a variety of games to try, and many rides to ride."
"I haven't been to one since I was a kid. Sounds like a plan."
"Mhmm," she hummed, then turned to face me. Her face was inches apart from mine, with her eyes drooping.
I was begging God for her not to fall asleep beside me.
"I'm happy you came into my life Daniel. I'm also happy you attended the youth meeting. I just wish we had more time together but I can't complain. The chance to meet a good friend like you is enough," she yawned. "It's not easy to find."
"I'm happy to have met you too."
I turned to find her lips parted slightly as she slept peacefully by my side. Today must've been tiring for her.
I took a pillow from the bed, a blanket and my phone then settled on the ground. It doesn't feel right sharing the same bed with her and having her close to me.
My fingers hovered on a particular contact which I blocked a while ago. Mom.
After contemplating I exited my contacts app and clicked on the Bible app Joe installed for me. He added a lot of helpful christian apps to help me learn and grow.
The verse of the day in the app was;
Matthew 5:23-24
23 "So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.
I exited the app as well and let sleep take me away.
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~Rose.