"Arry" Fleur smiled as she sat down next to Harry at breakfast, and opposite Delphi. "Delphi" She also greeted her fellow blonde "are you both okay?"
"I hate the mornings" Delphi sighed as she rubbed her eyes.
"If it was up to you then you'd be sleeping all day" Harry pointed out.
"And what's wrong with that?" Delphi rolled her eyes.
"Nothing, it's just one of your better ideas" Harry commented as he began eating some toasts.
"You should enjoy the day" Fleur advised.
"Please" Delphi snorted "you're just happy to be here with Harry".
"Guilty" Fleur smirked along with a delicate shrug of her shoulder.
"Merlin, you two are going to give me a headache" Delphi groaned into her hands.
"How do you think I feel with you and the rest of humanity?" Harry shot back.
"Hi Harry" A voice called, Harry turned and groaned when he saw who it was. Hermione Granger was standing there with a box full of badges.
"It won't work Hermione!" An exasperated Neville groaned with his head in his hands.
"Of course it will" Hermione sniffed.
"What's going on?" Ron said as he sat next to them.
"Hermione thinks it is a good idea to try and get Harry to support SPEW" Neville sighed as he rubbed his eyes. SPEW was an idea Hermione had in her third year of school and was one that she stubbornly refused to give up. It was supposed to be a group that tried to stop house elves from being slaves, though Neville personally thought that Hermione was purposefully ignoring the fact that they liked being slaves. He and Ron put up with it for Hermione's sake, but her current idea was where he drew the line.
"Why would you think he'd want to join SPEW?!" Ron looked at Hermione like she was crazy, he himself didn't want to join SPEW and he wasn't an ex-assassin.
"Think of it this way" Hermione said "this is offering him a hand of friendship, also he's the boy-who-lived and an ex-assassin. If he joins then many people will join, probably just so they don't risk his wrath by having house elves. And I know he's an ex-assassin, but as we pointed out, he saved lives so he has to be at least a little good."
"But Hermione, we agreed not to bother him!" Neville reminded her.
"And I won't bother him" Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Hermione, you're very voice bothers him." Ron reminded her, in fact it bothered him too but he wasn't about to point that out when she was in slapping range, but she could really shout when she wanted.
"Yeah" Neville agreed "every time, you talk to him it looks like he walks away with a headache"
"It'll be fine" Hermione insisted.
"Hermione, can I remind you that what you're planning to do is pitch an organisation to help house elves, one that very few people have joined, to Harry Bloody Potter?"
"Language" Hermione said automatically.
"Hermione, bloody isn't a swear word when we talk about Potter, it's pretty accurate" Ron pointed out.
"Yeah" Neville nodded "we've seen him stab people, cut throats, burn people and did I forget to mention him cutting throats?"
"I won't annoy him" Hermione said, a little annoyed of their repetitiveness.
"Well she's dead" Ron couldn't help but comment.
"Granger, what the fuck do you want?" Harry asked with a sigh.
"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to join SPEW" Granger asked, offering Harry a badge and biting back on her initial response of telling him off for his language.
"What is SPEW?" Delphi asked "Is it like a charity to help sick people"
"No, it the 'Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare'" Hermione answered with a smile "it's a group I've made to help free house elves."
"You do realise that we have house elves?" Harry asked.
"Well yes, but you know that it's slavery and you can understand how that's wrong and..."
"Let me cut you off right there Granger" Harry cut her off right there "I hate slavery but I am also a big believe in free will, and all of the house elves I have met are willingly serving house elves."
"Yeah but they're brainwashed" Hermione argued.
"Everyone is brainwashed in some way" Harry rolled his eyes "I mean look at humans, we all wear clothes because we believe they're a necessity because our brains are programmed to believe they are needed. Maybe in winter they are. But the rest of the animal kingdom go around wearing nothing, how'd you like it if a tiger suddenly comes in and demands we strip?"
"Well that's...but..." Hermione struggled to think up an answer. "But...but...ah, but..."
"If you say but one more time, I swear to god" Harry massaged his temples with his hands.
"I think it's best if you leave" Fleur frowned at the girl "you are bothering my boyfriend"
"Ah...fine, though I don't suppose you're interested in joining SPEW?" She asked hopefully.
"Her family has more house elves than we do" Delphi pointed out.
"Granger, somewhere a very long bottom and a red weasel will be looking for you. Do us a favour and kindly go away so they can find you."
"You don't have to be so rude" Hermione replied, it looked like she was about to continue when Harry picked up a knife in his hand.
"Granger, the last time you bothered me I punched you, this time I have a knife. The last time somebody bothered me while I had a knife, their blood ended up all over me" Harry reminded her and she paled "now I don't want to ruin my girlfriend's clothes so go away." Hermione quickly rushed off.
"You're so considerate" Fleur smiled at Harry.
"You know what, I am" Harry nodded in agreement "it's nice to finally have someone who appreciates me" Harry shot a mild glare at Delphi who stuck her tongue out at him.
Later that evening, Harry and Delphi sat at the Ravenclaw table while each student sat at their own table. Tonight the goblet of fire was going to chose it's champions, apparently attendance was mandatory. Fleur was luckily able to sit down next to Harry as the Beuaxbaton students were sitting at the same table as the Ravenclaws. Fleur sat nervously, wondering if she'd be picked or not. Harry, noticing his girlfriend's nervousness, gently grabbed her hand in a way that he hoped was comforting.
Apparently it was as she turned and smiled at him. Truthfully Harry couldn't care less about the tournament if he tried, though he supposed that if Fleur was chosen as champion then he would probably be much more interested. He'd probably help her train, not how he originally wanted to spend his year but he didn't mind helping her. It gave him something to do at least.
The Hogwarts students looked on with anticipation, each hoping it would be someone from their house that gets chosen. The Beuaxbaton students were all each hoping that they were chosen, some crossed their fingers and some were praying. Harry personally thought that they were a bit dramatic but who was he to judge when he has a girlfriend whose entire life revolves around him. The Drumstrang students all looked resigned though a few were slightly hopeful, Krum appeared to be ready to stand up. It seemed like they were all planning on having the famous quidditch player be their champion, probably for the popularity and fame.
"The goblet of fire is about to make a decision." Dumbledore announced as he stood in the centre of the hall with the goblet of fire. "Once I call your names, champions please enter the chamber and wait for your briefing. I wish you all the best of luck.
The usual blue flames of the goblet turned red just as a piece of parchment shot out and landed in Dumbledore's hand. "The Drumstrang champion is...VICTOR KRUM!" Dumbledore announced loudly, Victor stood up just as the hall burst into cheers. He walked to the headmaster and took his parchment, he glared at Harry as he walked off and Harry was incredibly tempted to just give him the finger.
The blue flames turned red once more and a second piece of parchment flew out and landed in the headmaster's hand. "The Beuaxbaton champion is...FLEUR DELACOUR!" Dumbledore announced, Fleur smiled and kissed Harry just as a couple of girls nearby burst into tears. She stood and walked off, gracefully, she grabbed her parchment and headed to the chamber. Harry now no longer gave a shit bout what happened tonight, though he decided to pay attention because he forgot to bring a book.
The goblet of fire turned red as a third parchment shot out and landed in Dumbledore's hand, the Hogwarts's students listened with anticipation. "The Hogwarts's champion is...Cedric Diggory!" Dumbledore announced, the Hufflepuff table screamed into applause as Cedric, a handsome sixth year stood up and went to the headmaster, he took his parchment with a smile and made his way over to the chamber.
"Excellent!" Dumbledore clapped his hands together and smiled at the hall "Now that all three champions are chosen, I hope that we can all do our duty as students and professors and..." The flames on the goblet turned red for a forth time, cutting off Dumbledore, leading many people to wonder what was happening. There was only supposed to be three champions, it was the 'tri-wizard' tournament after all. Rain poured down heavily outside and crashed against the windows, thunder could be heard as the parchment landed in Dumbledore's old hand. "Harry...Potter" Dumbledore read in a small voice.
Harry's eyes narrowed, he did not enter his name into this tournament, nor did he even want to. He didn't need eyes to see that something was wrong here. All eyes in the hall looked towards him, he's temper rose as he could see precious time he wanted to spend with his girlfriend or training for the assassins that want to kill him wasted on this bloody tournament.
"Harry Potter!" Dumbledore shouted.
"What?!" Harry shouted back. "The fuck's your problem?!" Many people gasped, some for his rude words and others because he was saying it to Albus Dumbledore of all people.
"Your name has been chosen, please go to the chamber." Dumbledore said.
"No" Harry refused as he crossed his arms.
"Mr Potter that was not a request. Please go into the chamber."
"If it wasn't a request the why the fuck did you say please? Also no."
"Mr Potter, mind your language! Go into the chamber."
"Come on and make me then" Harry said "I didn't enter my name into the goddamn cup. I ain't competing in this tournament."
"Mr Potter..." Dumbledore started.
"Fine, fine" Harry rolled his eyes "I am not competing in this tournament." Harry corrected his former statement "Are you happy now?"
"Mr Potter, your name coming out has constituted a binding magical contract."
"Well show me the fucking contract then" Harry demanded "you've tricked me into one magically binding contract I am not going to be letting you trick me into another." Harry said and now many people in the hall were wondering what Harry could be talking about.
"Mr Potter, please just go in" Dumbledore sighed, really not wanting this to be discussed in public.
"What is this Dumbledore?" Igor Karkaroff, the Drumstrang headmaster, demanded "Two Hogwarts's champions?"
"I agree" Madam Maxime, the Beuaxbaton headmistress, said "we should be allowed one more champion."
"We can discuss this inside!" Dumbledore said with a little bit of frustration in his voice.
"You can do it without me" Harry said while the hall watched the back and forth between the adults and Harry Potter.
"Mr Potter" Barty crouch senior, a ministry official and tournament official, spoke "it is true, having your name come out means a magically binding contract. You are now a tri-wizard champion"
"The fuck are you on about?!" Harry demanded.
"Mr Potter, don't talk to me like that!"
"Come up and make me stop then you Hitler looking motherfucker!"
"Mr Potter!" Dumbledore shouted "That is enough!"
"No! It's not enough!" Harry shouted back "Because I have a ton of questions and I'm not moving until I get my answers. First of all what happens if I refuse to compete?"
"You lose your magic" Barty Crouch senior answered and the hall paled at the idea of losing magic.
"Then why the fuck didn't you shitheads use that in the last two wars?!" Harry demanded "You could have put Voldemort or Grindelwald's name in the damn thing and not told the crazy fuckers. What you have is essentially a highly dark object capable of a lot of damage and none of you thought about destroying it?! No, you brought it back to use in a fucking tournament that was famous for death rates when you arrogant little shits could have picked some papers out of a fucking hat! Matter of fact why didn't you use the sorting hat?! It literally decides things and could have chosen the best participant!"
The hall all went silent as Harry's words registered, not only was he insulting some very high level people, he was making good points while doing so. Everyone was suddenly realising that the goblet of fire was indeed an incredibly dark object, Dumbledore and the other tournament and teaching officials and staff turned red from a mixture of embarrassment and anger.
"Also, why the fuck can't we cancel it?!" Harry continued with his very impressive rant. "Huh?!"
"It can't be cancelled, the tournament has to be completed" Ludo Bagman said.
"Then change the tournament into three tasks that can be competed tonight then redo the damn thing!" Harry commanded.
"We can't" Ludo said weakly "the tasks are set, we wrote them and placed them into the goblet. You have to complete all of the tasks" He said just before hiding behind whoever was nearest to him, fortunately it happened to be Hagrid, though he was a bit wide eyed in shock.
"You set all the defences!" Harry accused Dumbledore "Why the fuck didn't you have a guard to look after the bloody thing?!"
"Mr Potter! Language please!" McGonagall admonished.
"Suck a cock!" Was Harry's response, one which caused most of the hall to gasp and McGonagall to turn red and start spluttering, Harry turned back to Dumbledore "Well?" he asked expectantly.
"Mr Potter, I thought that an age line was sufficient. I..."
"Fucked up" Harry finished for him "you fucked up. I think it's probably time for you to retire Dumbledore, you're not exactly at the top of your game if you can't even guard a cup and keep your underage students out of deadly tournaments. And I will be wanting a rule book before I compete in a single one of his damn tasks."
"Very well Mr Potter, just please go into the chamber!" Dumbledore's begging voice came with a pleading expression.
"Fine, you stupid old goat fucker!" Harry said as he summoned his parchment to himself and walked to the chamber and began cursing Dumbledore all the way there "I hate you and your stupid fucking clothes with your ridiculous hat and that stupid beard which is definitely a safety hazard! I hope one day to find you and any remaining members of your goat fucking family dead outside my common room, you senile old con artist! I bet you're going to die the same way you were born, inside a goat! I'll call the fucking magical RSPCA on your old decrepit ass and have them haul you off to Azkaban. Stupid old arsehole! Merlin forbid you ever decide to reproduce you idiotic old bastard, I bet you didn't have friends at school. Mother fucking goat fucker probably cheats on his goats with some foreign goats! Barmy old prat!" Harry stopped outside the chamber and turned to the rest of the hall, ignoring their wide eyes and stunned expressions "I have to go to this room right?" he pointed at the chamber as he spoke with a calm expression and voice, though nobody dared speak up.
"Yes" Professor Flitwick eventually spoke up.
"Thank you sir" Harry smiled kindly at him before turning to look at Dumbledore "Moron!" He shouted and stormed off into the chamber. Silence reigned for several seconds before Harry returned "by the way guys, I hope I didn't insult any of you. That wasn't my intention. I only wanted the insult Dumbledore, the bitch, McGonagall the pussy and the Hitler looking dick over there" Harry gestured to Bart Crouch "heil mein fuhrer" Harry said to Barty in a German accent, he then turned to McGonagall "go meow yourself" He told her, he then turned to Dumbledore and remained silent for several moments "I still don't like you" he said as he turned and walked off "I'm going to eat lamb tomorrow, it'd be a shame if I end up having goat instead and eating one of your grandbabies" He called just as he entered the chamber and closed the door.
Harry walked several steps into the chamber before letting out a deep breath.
"If that doesn't get me expelled then nothing will" Harry shook his head and continued walking on.
"Arry" Fleur said as the champions noticed him "what's wrong, I could sense you were very angry"
"Oh don't worry, I got it out all out of my system." Harry grinned "Long story short I'm being forced into this tournament, my name came out of the bloody goblet."
"What?!" The champions blurted out.
"Yeah" Harry shrugged "I argued with them for a while but they said I have to compete and I have to come here."
"Are you sure you didn't just enter the tournament?" Krum sneered.
"I literally said I didn't" Harry rolled his eyes.
"You think I would trust the word of a Libra man!" Krum snarled.
"Listen Krum, I am many things. An asshole, an anti-social loner, someone who doesn't need to be famous to get laid" Harry gave an exaggerated wink and a sweet smile to infuriate the Bulgarian "but I am also a man of my word and I didn't enter. As for me being a member of Libra, I left them when I was a kid. And if you hate them so much then you should be thanking me on a bended knee."
"Why's that?!" Krum growled.
"Because I once killed a hundred of them in one night" Harry confessed, Cedric and Fleur's eyes widened while Krum looked at him with disbelief "that plus the ones I killed at the world cup, the way I see it, I've killed more members of Libra than any person alive today. You're welcome." He added the last part with a dramatic bow.
Soon Dumbledore and the rest came in, and Harry groaned as he braced himself for what was likely going to be a long night.