ZEHRA
"It was not me who should have been your knight in shining armor!" His words sent me into a little dilemma about what he meant, I waited for him to explain further but he just jumped on his feet and switched off the lights.
I never switch off lights. I wanted to tell him that, don't switch off the light. But I couldn't, I just closed my eyes, and my ears involuntarily became more alert, I heard him sighing hard, and he probably lay down on his bed.
I don't know for how long, but hearing him breathe so calmly, it felt so calming myself. He must have slept. Because there had been no motion or change in the rhythm of his breath.
I am sure hour went by, and even I started to feel the sleep creeping, my lids were heavy now, and I was about to be lost in the darkness one that I don't defy.
But, even in my completely dissociative state, my hyper-awareness because of my awful past made meme realize that someone was overshadowing me, even in complete baritone.
Was I wrong when I thought Daiwik will never hurt me?
Let's be calm, maybe he is here to get something from the drawer, or water that I have kept on the side table, maybe an extra pillow, a blanket... I was reminding myself of all the reasons he could be here, but when a sudden breath hit on my face, my hands tighten on the sheets, and I gulped down hard.
I thought he was asleep,
"Zehra," I heard breath whispers which were not meant to wake me up, more like it was a harsh breath he took himself, I felt his hand near my face, my hair and when he pushed it behind my ear, the back of his fingers, slowly caressed my cheeks,
I no longer felt the sleep anywhere on me, "Fuck! I knew I won't be able to control myself if we are in the same room!" He gasped slowly, whisper-yelling at himself. I did not understand what was happening here right now.
I was scared, but my body was at rest, maybe only my mind was in chaos right now, yet my nerves felt serene.
I felt his two fingers on my bare forearm, because of the short sleeve, slowly sliding, glazing on my skin, carefully skimming down till my fingers,
Now I felt the shiver, my goosebumps rising,
His fingers stopped on mine, I don't know for how long but he was frozen there, I felt his fingers continuing but this time he traced my silhouette from my waist to my hips to my legs.
I was ready to scream this time, I wanted to, being touched without my will is so common. And I hate that he is one of them who is doing it, On any normal day I would be crying and begging him to not.
Even if it is just fingers, no one feels good by these touches, so what is keeping me still?
Off, suddenly he was completely away from me. But I felt the bed sinking next to me.
I waited for whatever he was planning to do to happen, but it never did. He slept, I hope this time he didn't fake his breath.
The rest of the night, knowing he is right next to me, I struggled to be in my state.
The next morning I was tired because I hardly slept the night before, every time twisted and turned I was left with frustration in my head.
I walked inside the room after bathing, he was no longer asleep, but still on the bed. Today I was the first to take a bath and get ready early.
I saw him rubbing his head, he was no longer the calm, understanding quiet guy who had some problems. Now I see him in this completely different light. One that said all that exterior was pure pretense.
He looked up at me and caught me staring at him, my eyes blinking, panicking a little I turned back to the small mirror.
"I don't know how I came to bed. Probably after I went to the bathroom." He lied,
No, after you assailed me.
I thought to myself, but I bite my tongue.
He read me but did not say anything he stood on his foot, I combed my long hair, which reached the end of my back, and he stood beside me, bringing his face closer to fit himself in the mirror as he ruffled his hair and walked away.
I was surprised by his sudden change of behavior, he never did things like this, well to be honest after the rape, I never was in the room or house for the matter with him to know if he will treat me like a fragile or delicately but whatever this was it was more forward then ever.
Did my asking him to put the gajra himself provoked something? I don't think so.
~
DAIWIK
I knew she was awake last night. She is not the only one who keeps track of breathing, is she?
The moment my hands touched her face when I pushed her hair behind, she clutched onto the bed sheet, at least that's what she thought she was holding on to.
But it was my kurta, I intently drive my hands on her skin, well aware that she is not sleeping. But what can I do? I couldn't handle myself. As soon as my fingertips touched her delicate skin, the monster, a different monster than my anger beast rose in me.
I had to stop myself forcefully. Just patrolling her body, and push to sleep. But the floor seemed too distant from her, I slept next to her the whole night. The best sleep I have had in years.
My eyes were carefully evaluating her move while she was tilting and serving the food on each plate,
I completely hate that she works, because even if she says that she wants to I don't want her to. But I know her not working, will give her more hard time from Maa.
I probably should be hurrying to send them back to our old house, after I replay the fuck amount of money my dad owes to those bastard Kothari and our house is returned. But I am liking the arrangements we are living in right now.
When she came towards my way, to serve on the plate kept on the tea table, before me, her eyes drifted on me for 0.1 second before they went back to keeping the curry down.
She started to serve the food for me, and when done, kept it down but she did not come around to sit next to me like she have been sitting for the last three days.
Rather she went to the storeroom and brought the rejected chair which had no cushion and its brown color was erased in complete dirt and sat on it. Maa wasn't here yet, but she did walk inside, a few minutes later and sat on her stool as she started to eat.
I waited for her to notice and say something so Zehra would come and sit here again. But Maa just watched the new television and ate.
Not even Dev was here for any taunts, he said he had some business to do in Rajkot haveli with Abhiraj and this new woman he have started to spend time with for the last 2-3 days.
Hardly stopped talking about her, and I wonder if I should have heard because he is probably stirring trouble.
I waited forever for this dinner to end.
When she retired to the kitchen to do the work, I walked inside, she did turn and noticed me, "Do you want something?" She asked me with such a straight face, but the way she had held my eyes.
That instantly ran away from me, torture!
She started to put containers in the refrigerator.
"I think it's been a while since you have been out of the house. And it might be good for you, to be outside to clear your head. Do you want to go to the market tomorrow?" I implored her, and she looked up at me and this time her eyes caught my sight and she did not take them away.
She had a query in them, "What if I run away?" I don't understand where this question came from, but she waited for my reply.
"The door has been open for a while now. And you are still here." I replied, and she just shut the fridge, jerking her head down across the television room.
"Maa won't like it!"
"You sound like a wife!" I was quick on the remark, and talking usually more. Being little more forward. I have been maintaining a distance from her so far.
But her knowing everything has reincarnated part of me that died a year ago. She just went to get the cabinets and started to do something inside. "Okay, I think I need something from the market too."She accepted my offer.
To be honest, this had never been awoken, but when she asked me to put the Gajra on her hair, the 'maybe' have come across.
I nodded and turned to leave.
Once again I laid down my duvet on the floor, and she slept on the bed, I went to turn off the light but she stopped me. "Don't, I only sleep with lights on."
I knew the reason. "And I can't sleep with it on," I said, a frown appearing on her face. "But you told me you to sleep with lights on?" She asked me,
Did I tell her?
"That was before. Not anymore." I reminded and looking at her compromising face, I left it on.
~
Today was the last day I am off duty I will have to go back to work. I waited outside the door to take her to the market, and I have my car. But I took Dev's bike today. Don't ask me why?
I waited for her outside. When she appeared at the door with Divya behind her. She looked at me and then the bike, her mouth left open. I straighten my face.
"We can't take the car in the market, it's too small," I said sternly. She blinked,
"That's okay, you and Divya go. Divya just please can you-" She asked her, but my sister was quick to catch up, and she refused.
"I'm not mad. Why will I become a hindrance in a husband-wife thing? You go yourself. I will stay with Maa. It's better not to leave her alone." She said and turned before anyone can speak anything.
I coughed a little, as I sat on the bike and waited for her to sit. She waited for a few while before she forced herself, sitting on one side facing the left like any Indian woman does.
I turned to check if she is set and assumed I jolted the bike.
She was quiet the whole time so far, but her trying to make conversation I was taken by surprise.
"Why Devakshaya doesn't live with you?" She implored, the streets were indeed narrow, as I crossed them by to get on the concrete road.
"He preferred his privacy." I simply replied, and she nodded on the back, staring at her face in the side-view mirror.
"Why....did you come...here?" She stumbled, struggling to ask that question wondering if it might...
"Because someone I loved and cared about was stolen from me."
~~~
Hey readers!
It should not be harqat and rather harqatein because he is insane!
But overall I feel like the story is going to calm and chill and I am liking it this way but what do you want? Whaareis your expectations?