Author: AJtheWriter22
Reviewer: Rain_dropsand_roses
Genre: Science Fiction
The story centers around Roxanne, or "Rocki," an author who is kidnapped by an alien species that believes she holds the key to winning a war on their planet, which is an entire galaxy away. Her sister is taken by the opposing faction, which sets the entire story in motion.
The plot is built around Rocki and Aley's crucial role in determining which group wins the war on Kiktal. Since this is the foundation that is meant to uphold the rest of the story, it's important to get it right. There are a few questions that arise, and they will hopefully be answered later in the story. The two sisters are alien hybrids of two species but do not exhibit any physical differences that make them appear inhuman, which seems unrealistic given the significant differences between either species and humans. Is there a reason why they look human? How did they get to Earth, and what happened to their real parents? Has no doctor noticed anything inhuman about their bodies? Rocki is pregnant, so how does that work? Can two distinct species that exist several light-years apart have offspring? These questions arise in science fiction stories, and they require backing by valid logic for the story to be credible. The logic is what constitutes world-building in science fiction, the rules upon which the world operates.
Regarding the appearance of the sisters, it's possible to suggest that the two alien species involved in the hybridization process have similar physical features to humans, or that they possess advanced genetic engineering capabilities to create a hybrid that resembles humans. Alternatively, the hybrid's appearance could result from environmental factors or adaptations that occurred during their development.
The pacing of the story is adequate, not too slow to become boring and fast enough to progress comfortably. The descriptions are well-written, but they lack detail when it comes to the setting. Once agan it goes back to your story's genre. I would like to know more of what the inside of the Kofi's ship looks like, particularly, I expect a much stronger reaction from Rocki, who has never experienced something of the sort before. Perhaps it's because she's caught up in her worries about her sister and family, but when she does get to a new planet, there should be a lot more description of the surroundings. If this is where your characters are getting to spend the rest of the story, readers should be able to picture it.
Rocki is an excellent character, shown as ordinary without being bland. However, there are some inconsistencies in her reactions, particularly when Kofi first breaks into her house. I had ignored her generally logical reaction and attributed it to her personality, but later, a subtle hint is made about her past in relation to how she got pregnant. If that means what I think it does, there's no way she would have been that sensible about a stranger breaking into her home. Nonetheless, Rocki's character is well executed. It would be beneficial to show both sisters' stories by writing chapters from Aley's point of view, especially since Aley is being held by the faction on the other side of the war.
Kofi's personality and the way he interacts with Rocki are well-crafted, but his overuse of cute names for her becomes irritating after a while. It might be better to use one name that points to a standout feature like her blue eyes and use it consistently instead of frequently changing it.
Finally, you asked whether the first few chapters are catchy enough to hold the reader's attention, and the answer is yes. Rocki's perspective makes the entire experience very interesting, especially intertwined with the lines of her inner thought sprinkled throughout. I enjoyed them very much.
I'd give your story 4 out of 5 stars for the portion of it I read, mostly from Rocki as a character, and how well you do with pacing, plus the general mystery surrounding the key points of the story. I'd recommend it to anyone like me that loves to get invested in any sort of science fiction book