Debbie: *discussing plans for Lou's surprise birthday party with team*
Lou: *opens the front door and walks in*
Debbie: Lou is here. She shouldn't know what we planned. Quick, start a normal conversation!
Others:
Constance: Uh... so then superman grabbed the cereal box I was holding-
**********
Tammy, Daphne, Rose, Amita, Nine: Happy birthday, Debbie!
Debbie: Thanks you girls
Constance: Happy womb eviction day, boss!
Debbie:
Others:
Lou: I mean... well... you can't say she is wrong
***
*Young Debbie, Lou and Tammy spending vacation at Ocean's mansion*
Debbie: *greets her mom* Hey mom!
Tammy: *greets Debbie's mom* Hello Darlene!
Lou: *greets Debbie's mom* Hello Mrs. Ocean!
Darlene: Hello, my youngest daughter and her two friends who never seem to hang out at their own homes
***
Lou: *about Constance and Nine* Those two are unruly, disrespectful, volatile and highly unpredictable
Tammy: Finally! Someone said it! I have been waiting to rise this issu-
Lou: That's what I love about them! I am so fucking proud of them!
Tammy: WHA-
***
Tammy: I like Debbie
Lou: Me too. She is... really nice. She gave me her expensive lipstick the other day when I couldn't find mine
Tammy: That's not what I meant- Wait, she gave you her lipstick?
Lou: *clueless about Tammy's feelings* Yeah, after kissing me for 10 minutes or so.
Tammy: SHE WHAT!
***
Lou: You know what baby, even if there was no gravity, I would still fall for you
Debbie: *narrowing her eyes* what did you do?
Lou: N- Nothing?
Debbie: I'll ask one last time. What. Did. You. Do?
Lou: I took your watch and lost it. Please don't kill me!
Debbie:
Debbie: You have exactly 10 seconds
Lou: What?
Debbie: One
Lou: But-
Debbie: Two
Lou: Uh-
Tammy: Don't just stand there, you idiot! Run for your life!
***
Nine: Fuck, marry, kill - Amita, Tammy, Rose
Constance: Fuck Tammy, Marry Rose, Kill Daphne
Daphne: WHAT THE- I WASN'T EVEN ONE OF THE OPTIONS, BITCH!
***
Lou: *introducing herself to Tammy* Hello, I am Lou. I work with Debbie. You are?
Tammy: *sweating* questioning my sexuality
***
*Debbie and Lou argue. Later that night*
Lou: Why do you think I am trying to apologise and have sex with you?
Debbie: Why is our bed surrounded with rose petals, why is there a bouquet with Sorry Card addressed to me from you, and why are you half-naked?
Lou:
Lou: Don't change the subject, Ocean
***
Debbie: Where is Lou?
Constance: Wait, give me a second
Constance: *holding a megaphone* LOU MILLER IS SUCH A BOTTOM, DEBBIE ALWAYS TOPS HER!
Lou: *from upstairs* WHAT?
Constance: There she is
***
Tammy: *shows the video recording of her child's birth*
Constance: *pointing at the baby on screen* I didn't know it came with a free leash
Lou: That's the umbilical cord
***
*Young Loubbie*
Debbie: Are you a nerd?
Lou: No, why would you ask me that?
Debbie: It's Friday night and you are busy with your Chemistry assignment
***
*Loubbie in Australia*
Debbie: *in Aussie accent* Toss a few shrimp on the barbie for me and me wife, will ya mate? Yeah nay? Roight? Nicole Kidman? Men at work? Dropbears? Noice?
Waiter: *confused*
Lou: *embarrassed, tells the waiter* I am not with her
***
Tammy: My husband says I whine a lot! That's not true
Everyone:
Tammy: Tell me honestly, do I whine?
Everyone: Uh...
Tammy: Tell me guys. Debbie? Lou?
Lou: I don't want to answer because you might whinge
***
Lou: *testing her new remote-controlled model plane*
Daphne: Wow! I love planes. You know, if things had gone a little differently in my life, I think I would've been a pilot
Lou: uh huh
Daphne: Hey, what would happen if you turned the remote off, and then back on real fast?
Lou: *sarcastically* Yeah, you would've been a great pilot
***
Lou: When I die, I would probably go to hell
Tammy: I don't think so, you would probably be a ghost, haunting old manors
Debbie: Oh please, Lou is so lazy, she wouldn't even be a ghost, just a light cold breeze
Lou:
Debbie:
Lou: Well, you are so unpleasant you would be an air pollution ghost!
Debbie: Took you a while for comeback huh
***
*Constance introduces her boyfriend to Debbie and Lou*
Debbie: You and Mark are cute. I'll put you in a boat
Constance & Mark: You'll put us in a what?
Lou: *sighing* she ships you guys
***
Tammy: If you ever feel special, just remember that the world's population is 8,043,774,875
Daphne: 8,043,774,874 and me
***
Lou: You are making no sense, Debbie
Debbie: Excuse me, I am making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up!
***
*Lou returns after a fancy business meet & lunch with a rich liquor businessman*
Lou: *walking through the main door* Anyone who guesses what I ate for lunch will win 50 bucks
Constance: Debbie!
***
Constance: You are so ungrateful. I saved your life! Twice!
Amita: YOU PUT ME IN DANGER! TWICE!
***
Nine: Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit
Amita: Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad
Constance: That was deep.
Daphne: However, philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
Constance: That's even deeper!
Lou: Common sense is knowing that ketchup is not a smoothie and wondering about tomatoes in the middle of the road is stupidity. Get off the road, you idiots!
***
*At Tammy's party*
Tammy: Oh look, Lou is wearing same suit as yours
Tammy's husband: What the! How does it look better on her!
***
*Lou is tired and stressed because of work*
Lou: That's it! Choke me!
Debbie: You are... into it?
Lou: No. I just want to die
***
Amita: Talk to her. That's what friends do
Nine: Nope. I am gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately
Amita: That's your plan for dealing with this?
Nine: That's the plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments I am going to win that way
***
Tammy: *sarcastically to Debbie* You are always one step ahead of others, huh?
Lou: *clueless* Debbie does walk quickly, yes
***
Constance: I dare you to kiss the next person walking into this room
Lou: I have no time for your silly games, Const-
Debbie: *walks in*
Lou: I accept the dare
***
Lou: Aren't you the cutest, sweetest girlfriend in the world
Debbie: You want something. What do you want?
***
Debbie: Louise Catherine Miller, will you marry m-
Constance: *pops out of nowhere* YES YES SHE DOES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
Debbie & Lou: Uh- what's-
Daphne: *coming out of her hiding place* So when do you think the wedding should be? I am thinking more of an autumn wedding. We could have it outside, with leaves changing colours.
Nine: It should be at the end of September I think. October is never really a good month for me
Amita: I think the cake should be a triple layered cake with chocolate on the bottom, Vanilla in the middle, and whatever you feel like on the top
Rose: The wedding outfits are ready! They will match the cake!
Tammy: I shall commence the planning of bachelorette party and the wedding! I already have the guest list ready! Guys! C'mon, I have the plan to discuss
Lou: This is the 5th time you tried proposing me. I told you, no matter whether I propose you or you propose me, they'll always be there before we even finish proposing
***
*At 2 am, drunk Lou wakes up Debbie*
Lou: If you kill someone in a living room, can you still call it a living room?
Debbie: Go back to sleep, Lou
Lou: Who delivers the mailman's mail?
Debbie: I love you but please just sleep
Lou:
Debbie:
*A minute later*
Lou: If a kid is bad and wants coal, what does Santa do?
Debbie: If I didn't love you I'd kill you
***
Amita: How many licks do you think it will take to get to the centre of a lollipop?
Constance: 378
Amita: Did you-
Constance: It took 4 hours and my tongue bled a lot, but it was worth it.
***
Debbie: I wanna hear those three words
Lou: I love you
Debbie: I love you too, but try again
Lou: Fine
Debbie: So, say
Lou: *rolling her eyes* I will behave
***
Debbie: You are... flower
Lou: Explain
Debbie: Makes me happy
***
Debbie: Where are your glasses, Lou? You can't see clearly without them
Lou: *in horrified tone* I won't be wearing hereafter. I have seen too much too clear; I wish I didn't!
Debbie: What?
Lou: I walked in on Tammy fucking Tom with a strap on.
***
Rose: I heard an interesting rumour about Daphne today
Daphne: Only one? Me and my PR team started at least 12 today
***
*Timeline - Before Loubbie confession*
Lou: They say love is an uninvited guest
Debbie: Is that why you barge into my room without permission?
***
Debbie: I don't feel anything for Lou. She is just my best friend
Tammy: Oh okay. Anyway, what colour are her eyes?
Debbie: *dreamy* The most tranquil and mesmerising shade of the autumn sky, like the cool waters of the sea on a scorching summer day, like the-
Tammy: *coughs*
Debbie: I mean, I don't know, blue I guess
***
Lou: I accidentally wore my contacts to bed. Sometimes, I think I am stupid
Debbie: Don't worry. I do that all the time
Lou: wear contacts to bed?
Debbie: No. Think you are stupid.
***
Amita: What is worse than a heartbreak
Constance: When you text someone and wait for hours for the reply, only to later realise you haven't hit send
***
Lou: I love you guys so much
Team: Even more than Debbie?
Lou: No
***
Tammy: How was your day?
Lou: Confusing
Tammy: Why?
Lou: Debbie asked me my favourite colour
Tammy: And?
Lou: When I answered she told me I was wrong
***