Friday, July 20, 1981
Once again, Evie was at the Motley house, standing in a corner and trying to not bring too much attention to herself. She came to the party half an hour ago with Nikki, but he was almost immediately swarmed by six people who all wanted to talk to him after seeing him perform. And the crowd only grew larger as time went on. Evie stood there for almost twenty of those minutes before she needed some space.
She was about to head outside for some air when she heard someone speak to her.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing, standing here all by yourself?"
Evie turned to face Tommy, who, at some point, had ditched his shirt. He was twirling his drumsticks and wearing more makeup than any woman Evie had seen in real life, but it wasn't enough to hide the bruises on his face from where his girlfriend threw a pan at him that morning. Evie looked around for the woman. Everyone she knew just called her Bullwinkle, but Evie thought that was a little mean. She didn't know her real name though, so in her head she referred to the girl as Tommy's girlfriend, the one who can squirt six feet across the room.
Evie didn't see her, which made her think that maybe the pair had broken up, hence why Tommy was suddenly wanting her attention.
"Well," Evie began. "I was with Nikki, but a bunch of people are trying to talk to him. I just got a little bored."
"Evie, you gotta let go of Nikki."
Her eyes widened and she looked up at him. She searched for signs of jealousy, but as far as she could tell, Tommy thought he was consoling her.
"What do you mean?"
"He's a fucking player," Tommy said. "He's a heartbreaker. I know you guys had something going on when he first moved into your place, but he never sticks with the same girl for more than a few weeks. It's best if you just stop going after him."
That was it, Evie thought. Tommy thought that her and Nikki had a brief fling a little over a month ago. Then, they broke it off and Evie had just been chasing Nikki ever since, following him around in hopes that he would fall in love with her. Tommy didn't know that they had been in a monogamous relationship since early June, that they went on dates together at least once a week, that they regularly spent hours talking, and that they had had sex together almost every day, sometimes twice a day, since the first time they went to the movie theater together.
Somehow, Nikki and Evie had managed to keep their relationship hidden from Tommy without even trying. Either that, or Tommy was a dumbass.
The things Tommy was saying, though, were things that Evie kept worrying about. When she was in bed alone at night, she thought about whether Nikki was being loyal to her, if his drug usage was getting worse, or if he was going to get bored of her soon, just to name a few of her concerns. She tried to not let herself think those things, but now Tommy was basically offering to tell her the truth about what Nikki was getting up to when she wasn't around.
"Really?" Evie said, hoping Tommy couldn't hear the tremble in her voice. "I feel like he's chilled out more over the last couple of weeks. Is he still sleeping around?"
Tommy thought for a moment. "I guess you're right. He has been slacking on the women recently. I don't know what that's about. He's still high off his ass most of the time, though. He's just not cut out for a girl like you. You're gonna get burned if you don't forget about him."
Evie didn't respond, just looked down at the ground.
"Can I have that? Thanks."
Evie looked up to see who Tommy was talking to. It was a girl walking past. He snatched the solo cup right out of her hand and held it out Evie. The girl was obviously offended, but just kept walking. Evie smiled and hesitantly accepted the cup.
"What is this?" She asked, looking into it.
Tommy leaned down and sniffed it. "Vodka, I think. I can get you something else if you don't like it."
Slowly, Evie took a sip, the first time she ever drank anything stronger than beer. She recoiled at the way it burned her throat.
"You don't like it?"
"No, no," Evie said. "It tastes fine, just not used to the sensation."
"Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen you drink."
"You haven't," she said, taking another sip. "Just never saw the appeal of it."
"You're really not meant for Nikki."
Tommy could tell that that last comment saddened her. She looked away from him with a frown.
"Come on." He put his hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean that. Well, I guess, yeah...Nikki likes to drink and you don't, so it would be weird, but..." His sentence trailed off.
"No, it's okay, Tommy. You're right." Her voice had a hint of sadness, but it was mostly resigned. Evie looked over at Nikki and, for the first time since she had wandered off, they made eye contact. He looked from her to Tommy, then turned his attention back to the guy who was speaking to him.
"But don't worry about it," Tommy continued. "You're beautiful, and there's plenty of other fish in the sea. You'll find someone way better than Nikki."
Evie smiled up at him. "You think so?"
"Yeah, I mean, Nikki's attractive and in a band and everything, but he's kind of an idiot and, between you and me, his hygiene is kinda lacking."
"I've noticed," Evie laughed. She had turned to face him now, so she was unable to see that Nikki was giving them quick, fiery glances while he waited for the little punk who was never gonna make it to shut up and go away.
"Yeah," Tommy said, unable to remember if he had ever made Evie laugh before. "And you, you're smart, and you shower regularly, and you've got this pretty hair and nice eyes. Plenty of guys would be happy to be with you."
Tommy's fingers in Evie's beautiful curls was the thing that sent Nikki over the edge. He shoved the kid he was talking to out of his way and marched over to Tommy and Evie.
"Fuck off, Tommy," Nikki said, grabbing Evie's arm and pulling her away.
"Nikki!" Evie was pissed. She was having a perfectly nice conversation with her friend. She didn't need her coked up boyfriend to show up and act like a possessive teenage boy.
"What is wrong with you?" She asked him when he finally let go of her arm. He had dragged her to the hallway that led to his former bedroom.
"Was he hitting on you?" Nikki was furious, and Evie could tell right away what was going on: the drugs had made him paranoid.
"No, Nikki, he wasn't hitting on me. We were just talking."
"He touched your hair!"
"I know, I know, but it didn't mean anything. Tommy's your friend. He wouldn't do that to you." The amount of anger in Nikki's eyes was starting to scare Evie.
"That fucking asshole, I'll beat his ass." Nikki wasn't even listening to her.
"No, Nikki. Just calm down."
"Don't fucking tell me to calm down."
He made a move to go find Tommy, but she grabbed his hand and pulled him back.
"Nikki, why don't we go outside? Please?"
Nikki stared into the main room of the apartment for a bit longer, taking huffing breaths. Finally, he agreed to be led outside.
They went downstairs and stood outside the apartment building. Evie tried to think of something to say that wouldn't make Nikki explode. Nikki kept seething, replaying what he had seen over and over again in his head.
"Don't ever let Tommy talk to you again," Nikki said.
Evie laughed. "Don't talk to Tommy again? Honey, he's in your band. I see him, like, once a week. I can't not talk to him."
"Don't fucking laugh at me."
His anger made Evie flinch. She took a deep breath and made her voice calm. "You don't have to worry about Tommy or anyone else talking to me. You're really high right now, and it's messing with your head. Why don't we just go home and go to sleep? When you wake up, you'll see the situation more clearly."
"You want me to go home and go to sleep? You want me to go to sleep so you can invite over Tommy and god knows who else and let them fuck you? Is that what it is? If you want to fuck my friends, just say it."
Evie's patience was running out. She hated it enough when he just got high, but when he was so high that he started accusing her of things and making irrational assumptions? She knew that what she was about to say was only going to make things worse, but she couldn't stop herself from saying it.
"Stop it, Nikki! You don't get to drink all night and put enough drugs in your system to kill a ten year old, then act like I'm the problem! Especially when you have the balls to accuse me of cheating, when you're the one who entertains dozens of girls at every single one of your shows and every single one of your parties!"
Nikki glared at her for a few seconds, saying nothing. Then, "Is that what you think of me? Just a fucking druggy and a cheater? Am I too good for a prissy little princess like you? You can do no wrong, but I'm just some paranoid addict who should feel blessed to be accepted into your presence? Is that what it is?"
That was it, Evie realized. This wasn't actually about her conversation with Tommy. Just like she had her complaints about Nikki's behavior, and just like she had insecurities that she tried to hide, Nikki had his own complaints and doubts. They had been simmering under the surface for weeks, and now they were erupting.
Evie began to cry. She knew she wasn't perfect. Nobody's perfect. But it broke her heart to hear that Nikki thought she acted like a nagging "prissy little princess," just like she thought he sometimes acted like a paranoid addict. She felt embarrassed, and wondered if Nikki truly thought that about her.
It broke her heart even more when she looked back up at Nikki and only saw hatred on his face. He wasn't going to comfort her or apologize. She wondered if this was the end.
"I want to go home," Evie said, looking down at the ground.
"Answer my question," Nikki yelled. "Do you think I'm a fucking addict?"
Shaking, Evie said, "I think you have a problem. I want you to get help, but sometimes I think you don't want help."
It was not the response Nikki wanted. All this time, Evie saw him as nothing but a bum. He didn't know why he was so surprised; he could see it in the way she looked at him when he was intoxicated. Her face was always full of fear and contempt. And now that he was confronting her about it, she was acting like she was better than him; that he needed "help," but she didn't.
"Why don't we go home?" Evie asked. "We'll talk about this more in the morning."
She reached for his arm, but he pulled it away. "No," he refused to look at her. He didn't want her to manipulate him with her pleading eyes.
"Fine," she said. "I'm...I'm gonna go home. And when you decide to come back, we can talk this over, okay?"
There she was with the condescension again. Nikki shook his head in disgust, and walked away, leaving Evie alone on the sidewalk.
Evie stood there a while longer, sobbing and ignoring the stares of passersby. When she calmed down enough to see clearly, she walked the two blocks to the nearest payphone. She put a quarter in, called her father, and gave him the address.
On the ride home, she cried while recounting the events of the night-- from the way Nikki had forgotten about her when people came up to him, to his jealous outrage, and finally, the way he yelled at her outside the building.
Mick listened without saying much. On the one hand, he hated to see his daughter so hurt, and he was pissed at Nikki for putting her through this heartbreak. But on the other hand, Mick could tell their relationship was nearing the end of the line. And the shorter the relationship, the easier it would be for her to move on.
When they got home, they watched an action movie on the TV for a while. When it ended, Evie wanted to stay up and wait for Nikki, but Mick convinced her to go to bed.
Sleep didn't come easily for either of them.