He was both everything I could ever want…
And nothing I could ever have…
Jimin POV
I held Taehyung's face in my hand, because he deserves the truth too. "Shh, everything is gonna be fine. I'm not going anywhere, see I'm right in front of you. And I promise, I won't leave you no matter what. I want you to hear me, because you are not the only one who lied here".
Flashback -
Jimin POV -
I met him when we were young. We grew up together. We understood each other more than anyone else. Growing up with Taehyung was very dramatic and much too fast. He had quickly ended up growing much taller than me, his voice deeper, and the once rounded face now chiseled out into the bones of a fine, young man. He was the only friend in my life to whom I shared everything and could trust blindly. Taehyung has always been important to me, long before I fell so hard for him.
I was hopelessly boring and he was endlessly fascinating. I realized how madly I'm in love with him. It's always been right in front of me. I was in love. Madly, passionately, endlessly, hopelessly in love with my best friend. How could I not fall for someone who knows me inside out. Who understands my innermost core. Who can finish my sentences. Who doesn't need words to get what I'm going through. Who's always there for me. Who supports, encourages me endlessly. Who loves me and accepts me for who I am. I don’t know what it is about him. It’s like he lights up my darkest skies and it takes only seconds for him to draw me back in, no matter how hard I fight it. I just can’t seem to help myself. When I’m not around him, I long for him. I want to have his company. When I’m with him, I feel good, safe and sound. He actually makes me feel good about myself.
I was so madly in love with him, I felt like screaming out my love for him to the world.
The day he told me he wants to go to Seoul. I wanted to reach out and grab his hand and hold it to me, right over my heart, right where it aches the most. I don't know if doing that would heal me or make my heart break entirely, but either way this constant hungry waiting would be over. I made thousands of plans, and imagined every possible conversation. My love confession. It played in my head like a repeat cassette. I always wanted to tell him how much I love him. How I cannot imagine living my life without him. How I see a future with him. My every thought, need. I want to see his face in the morning, and then at night, and a hundred times in between. I want to grow old with him, I want to laugh with him. But when he was right in front of me. When I could have told him everything. By then, I didn't know what to say? Where to start from?. The hours of waiting have been transformed into tension, and the tension has become fear. The fear of losing the person I'm madly in love with and the only person who loves me. The fear of losing something real and strong: the friendship we have. Our place in each other's life. There’s only one reason my love for him feels bad, so bad I wish I could kill it: because it's so tangled up with my love and want and need of this “us.” This i and him, together I know does not exist! And which therefore, i know really isn't true. Love for what doesn't exist cannot be true. Should the real, true love for Taehyung, and close, shared friendship I also love, be done in by what doesn't exist? Because he does love me: As a dearest, best friend. As much as it hurts not to have another kind of love, I know he wouldn't want me to get hurt. If I have to, I can let go of everything. Even this unrequited love. Because everyone in love is in love with an “us” as well as a “you.” But as vivid as “us” seems it could be, it can never be real unless wished by two. So I let it go just for now and behaved as a good friend I am.
Hi fam,
Loving bts was the best decision.
I've been reading all the BTS book spoilers on Twitter - I cried, screamed, and fell in love with BTS all over again.
Y'ALL THE CHAPTER TITLE OF THE GCF TOKYO STORY??? "REAL LOVE" I'm ugly crying pls
Also,
🐥: i really want to give you (taehyung) strength!
🐻: he (jimin) turned out to be someone i can't live without!
vmin soulmates for eternity🥹
Back to the story.. Im trying my best to write as much as I can whenever I get time. I'll be back soon.
Stay safe, stay strong ❤️