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Imogen Halstead (age 17)
Word count: 2179
Imogen's POV
They say good things come to you when you need it, not want it. And when I tell you... I really do need it! My life is falling apart. My brothers seem to have their lives together and I'm stuck with no plans. My older brother, will... well, he's in med school training to be an emergency doctor. My twin brother, jay... he enlisted in the military, and he flies out in three months. Then there's me...
My dad initially told me not to worry, and my mom used to tell me that good things happen to good people, so maybe it's me. Maybe I'm not good enough? I don't know. But unless I figure out what I want to do with my life, I'm a failure.
I'm meant to be getting ready for a house party, jays driving us there, but I can't bring myself to move from the windowsill. I find myself staring at the road outside as the rain hits the window. I don't even hear my brother enter the room, "are you going like that?" He scoffs, judgemental and sarcastic. I ignore him, trying my best to mentally block him out. Jay walks up to the window and practically punches my arm, "you look like a homeless person" he snickers. I shoot him a blank glare, and stand up, "go away" I ignore him.
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed" jay taunts. I groan, "just get out!" I yell, tears already making their way down my cheeks. Jay sarcastically pauses, "woah, calm down" he raises his hands. I shake my head as he leaves my bedroom, although I can see a slight hint of concern on his face. I slam the door in his face. Looks like I need to suck it up!
~
"Don't get too drunk, I don't wanna' have to call dad to pick you up again" jay warns me. I scoff, "that was once" I pull a face. He raises an eyebrow, "maybe twice" I shrug. He nods before walking away, running off to join the goons he calls his friends. I sigh, looking around as I try to spot my own friends, but I don't really feel like socialising tonight. I sigh again, making my way inside as my barely alive converse hit the kitchen floor. I pour myself a drink and head out back, taking a seat on the railings around the porch. Hopefully someone feels sorry for me and starts a conversation, maybe that would be nice.
~
"You're brothers pretty cool, I mean... the army? That's badass" my so-called friend chimes as she sits next to me on the grass. My best friend smiles, sensing my tension, "yeah, but you have the hots for him. Imogen's way cooler" gabby shrugs. I smile thankfully, "what're you doing after school?" Rebecca frowns. I look around, "well I haven't actually found anything yet..." I dismiss her question. She laughs weakly, "you haven't? I mean, we leave in like 2 months. We're all going college..." Rebecca raises an eyebrow. I frown, "I've applied for things, they just don't have vacancies" I look at gabby.
"Like what?" Millie perks up. I shrug, "well, I applied for the garage down the road. Uh, I applied for the police academy too but I didn't pass the entry exam. The fire academy haven't opened up their applications yet. So yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna' do" I look down. The group falls silent, "the garage? Isn't that a man's job?" Millie tilts her head, smirking slightly. I shake my head, "it's for anyone... I like cars and motorcycles" I pull a face. Rebecca nods, "well it sounds lame to me, but whatever makes you happy I guess. Uh, as long as you don't end up a jobless loser... that's all that matters" she sarcastically hums.
I look down, "you might wanna' apply for a job at Walmart" Millie chuckles, nudging Rebecca's leg as the pair get up to leave. Gabby looks at me, "I'm sorry about them, they can be jerks sometimes" she frowns. I nod, looking at the grass, "I'm going for another drink, want one?" I change the subject, trying to swallow the suffocating feeling in my throat. Gabby shakes her head, "I should be going, I mean, my mom's on her way. Are you okay?" She stands up with me. I nod, "always" I force a smile. What I really want is to go home and cry until I'm all out of tears.
"Alright well, I'm gonna' go find my mom. I'll see you next week" gabby gives me a quick hug. I smile, "you too" I wave her off. After I turn around, I walk back inside for another drink as the music hits me. This is my... I don't know how many'th drink. I lost count a few hours ago.
I haven't seen my brother in a while. Maybe he went home, he did seem annoyed at me before. Maybe I am the problem...
~
I should stop drinking. I mean... the floors moving. The stars are falling from the sky. People are really loud, even though I can't see anyone around me. I think I'm sat outside on the swinging bench, but I don't know. I can't tell. I can't stand on my own, that's for sure. All I know is that I'm sat thinking about my life options.
Should this be occupying my brain? Who knows... but I've been thinking. Maybe if I just packed up and ran away things would be okay in another city. Or maybe they'd be horrible, but what difference would it make. It's not working out here...
~
It's like... nearly 1am I think. The party's still going. I thought everyone would've drank themselves to death by now. Because god knows I have... and I still haven't seen jay. I can't see straight, and I'm pretty much just thinking of nothing. However, my view soon gets blocked by a tall figure. I look up in confusion to see some guy I've never set eyes on before, "you good?" He questions. I watch him carefully as he sits down next to me, "hmm" I mumble. He holds out what looks like a joint, "have a go" he nods. I shake my head, "no" I hum in protest. He sighs, "go on, I'm sure you'll find it amusing" he shrugs.
Why the hell nottttttt... I take it from his hand and inhale some of the putrid smelling smoke. I cough as I waft the air around, scrunching my nose up, "see?" He pushes it towards me again. I don't feel the need to turn him down, because why not? I'm too drunk to carreeeeee.
~
Jays POV
"Hey mannn... I'm gonna' head out" my friend punches me on the shoulder. I nod, "alright, see you later" I smile weakly. I check my phone, 2:35am. Well, I'm completely sober, not even a drop of alcohol in my system so I guess I better go find my sister and get us home. I haven't seen her in a long time, but she's probably outside. Some guy barges past me, "sorry... oh wait a minute, you're Immy's brother, right?" He nods. I pause, "yeah?" I'm almost hesitant. He laughs in disbelief, "oh man, she's a mess out there" he points to the back door.
I frown as my feet take my to the porch, only for me to find my sister curled up on the swinging bench. She's shaking, which is worrying, and she has mascara running down her face. She's drunk. I internally groan, "jay?" She looks up at me. I shake my head, confused, as she holds her arms out for a hug. She hated me this afternoon... she's definitely more than drunk. I sigh, sitting down next to her as she clings onto me for dear life. She smells of weed. I sigh, "have you been smoking?" I rub her back as she sobs, almost telling her off.
"I don't like it" she nods. I frown, feeling a little angry, "who gave it to you?" I enquire. She points up, "the guy with the black shirt..." she hiccups. I sigh... the guy who barged past me. She shakes her head, "I wanna' go home" she sobs and I shake my head... she can't go home like this. Dad would freak!
"C'mon" I sigh, standing up as I pull her to her feet, watching as she stumbles around for a few seconds. She pouts at me as I buckle her into my car, "stop it" I warn her, knowing she's about to get soppy with me. I hate that stuff. Hearing her tut as I close the door, I run around and hop into the drivers side.
"Do you want food? We should get food" I look at her. She brings her knees up to her chest, "we should get food" she repeats, sniffling. I focus on the road as the sound of my sisters sniffled and grumbles fill the car. She's complaining about something... something to do with her friends and the fact that she's going to be a homeless person for the rest of her life, but she's mumbling too much for me to understand exactly what she's saying. Anyways, I want food.
~
I bite into my burger, staring at the takeout in front of me, as Imogen munches on her fries. We're not saying anything, nor is there any music in the car. Silence. She lets out a small sigh and I look over, "what am I gonna' do when you're gone?" She shoots me a puzzled glare. I shrug, "you have that thing don't you? Cars and stuff?" I raise an eyebrow. She never talks to me about this stuff, how am I suppose to know? She shoots me an offended glare, "they said I didn't have enough experience, I failed the police exam because I'm stupid and fire don't need anyone..." she mumbles, shoving her fries into my lap.
I raise an eyebrow, "I didn't know" I shrug, raising my eyebrows again. I'm not a mind reader. She looks down, "I don't have anythingggggg" she sobs. I roll my eyes, "stop being so dramatic, you'll find something" I sigh, eating my burger whilst she has a meltdown. She slaps my arm, "you have your life planned out, so does Will, and I have nothing. I am nothing. I won't pass my SATs and I won't get a good job. I am... nothing" she waves her hand in from of my face. Tears streaming down her face as she gives me a pet lip.
I sigh, staring at her, "I don't wanna' do anything anymore. I just wanna' crawl in a hole and never come out" she adds, turning away from me as she faces her window. I set my food down, thinking for a second. When Imogen gets upset it's like walking on eggshells, but I've never seen her like this... I don't know what to do.
"Mom always said everything happens for a reason, this is no different" I hold my breath. I see her twitch for a second, but she doesn't say anything, "you can find a small job until something you wanna' do comes around, it'll all work out" I continue. She slowly nods, "I don't wanna' be a failure anymore" her voice is croaky. She still smells of alcohol and weed, but I think she may be sobering up, "you're not a failure, you never were and you never will be" I fold my arms.
Joining the army was a hard decision, and it tore me to pieces. I've spent every day of my life with Imogen, and now we're going our separate ways. It just pains me to know she's a lost cause. She shrugs, "I wanna' go home" she mumbles. I nod, "yeah" I sigh, starting the car again. We drive in silence, the odd sniffle from Imogen breaking me from deep thought every now and then, but neither of us say anything.
It doesn't take us long to get home, but when we do, it's nearly four in the morning. Somehow, we make it into the house without waking our dad up, who's asleep on the couch with an empty beer bottle in his hands. Imogen seems to flop ok the bed, and doesn't move, but what if she's sick and chokes? Sighing, I walk over to her and roll her onto her side, propping pillows up either side of her so she can't roll over. She makes a noise, but keeps her eyes closed. Shaking my head, I slowly leave her room and leave the door open, before retreating to my own.
I set a few alarms, every half hour or so, just so I can get up and check on her. Lord knows our dad would kill me if anything happened to her on my watch... but for now, let's pray she doesn't remember any of this when she wakes up.