No matter how many bathroom towels you lay on the floor, it's not a bed. It seemed like a good idea to lock myself in the bathroom, but I wasn't really able to sleep. I had no idea what time it was, but it was late, and the moon was out. I could at least see the stars through the window. Bathrooms are generally not the place you would imagine when you thought of sleep.
I should have picked the closet, but I wasn't sure if there was an actual lock, and I paniced. I couldn't believe what I had done, what he had done to me. I was surprised he pushed so far. I was flabbergasted. I just laid there while he, you know? I think what was the worst part is that I enjoyed it. His tongue was so perfectly skilled, I wondered where he learned it. His body felt in sync with mine. There wasn't much I needed to say, which was baffling. It was one thing, kissing my neck. That spot is senstive, but seeing me nude from the bottom down, I was shocked. I STILL didn't have any panties on. He could have gone further. He could have pushed more. It wouldn't be a push. I didn't need to be forced, I would have probably had sex with him, considering how turned on I was. But, this situation was not my own. That I could view my forced husband in this way, I felt so much shame. What should be natural, normal, and simple ended up wracking my brain with guilt. I was absolutely conflicted. One part of me wanted to run away. Another part wanted to find out what else he could do. It's not like he would be much of a faithful spouse. Why was I feeling this way. How do I process this whole thing?
I was awfully tired but found sleeping impossible. I pressed my ear to the door quietly. It was dead silent in the room. I couldn't hear anything, hoped he was at least sleeping, but I prefer him not in the room. I slowly twisted the lock until it clicked. I stayed silent, keeping my body pressed to the door. No movement. I grabbed the door handle and began to pull the knob. I was slow and steady with this. If Alessio was in the room, I didn't want to wake him. I had turned the handle and slowly tried to open the door but it creeked and I froze. With no movement following, I swung the door open quickly, keeping the knob in my hand. It was still pitch black in the room. I tip toed into the bedroom. The cold, soft bed was all my sleepy head could think of. I quickly made it to the right side of the bed. I slid under the blanket. I melted into the feel as it enveloped my body. My heavy eyes closed.
**
I stared at my phone, wondering why I had not heard from my boyfriend all day. Marcus wasn't someone to ignore me. Yet today he decided was the day to just never talk to me. I was angry and upset. I know we didn't have the best time last night, but this was beyond weird. It had me so anxious about where we stood. Maybe I should call him one more time, the like millionth time. I felt like such annoyance with many calls I made, Today was his day off, so finding him at his job was a no-go. None his friends have seen him either. They all treated me coy. I felt like they were lying to me. The unknown racked my brain. I darted down when I felt my phone vibrate, and my phone managed to fumble out of my hands. When I looked down, my phone was gone. I looked back up and saw Marcus before me.
"Oh my god, babe! Where have you been?!" I asked him frantically. I tried to hug him, but he pushed me down. I landed on my butt feeling so confused by his denial.
"I don't want you, I don't love you. And no one ever will, " he spat at me. His words stung like no other. The breath left my lungs as his words stayed with me. Why was he being so mean. He's supposed to love me! What was he even talking about?
"What?! What are you talking about. it was just a little fight," I said, trying to make me way to him. He kept backing up with every step I took her, and he took 2 steps back. I struggled to get up and tried to grab his hand, contastly trying to approach him, but nothing worked. The distance between us kept growing.
"Marcus, just tell me what I did wrong," I begged. My call to him didn't do anything as he turned away and disappeared before my eyes. I searched for him, but he was nowhere to he found, the street was empty. It was dark outside and awfully quiet. I felt so exposed, and the wind gave me chills. I couldn't figure out why he was acting like this.
"You were so lucky to be with me," a familiar voice said behind me. I was startled and twirled around to find Hector, my exe. What was he doing out here.
"This is none of you business," I snapped. He let out of a loud snort. He was always so arrogant.
"Cutie, I'm just here to send a reminder. I'm not shocked he left. Not many people can put up with you," He said. I rolled my eyes and pushed him away from me. I began to walk away, I just need to go home, and everything will be fine. I thought I could keep myself in check, but tears were already spilling out of my eyes. I couldn't shake the fact that I was no one's first choice. It was easier to ignore me, to overlook me, to gloss over me than to actually bother to care. I wasn't even that pretty.
I looked around, standing in my living room. My dad had a drink in his hand as he stumbled into the house. My mom had begun arguing with him. I didn't even see the point. He didn't care, though. Gambling away everything we had to get his fix was the most important thing.
"You're so stupid!" he yelled at her. My body tensed, trying to ignore them. I stared at the TV as it mindlessly played a show.
"Ugly bitch, leave me the hell alone!" He exclaimed as he threw the beer bottle in his hand on the floor. My mom sighed loudly and began to clean up the mess as he stepped away. No matter what he called her, she never left. I'm over it! I felt the tears coming out of my eyes, my frustration boiling over. All of this is too much! I can't be here anymore! I'm not wanted anywhere, by anybody! I can't stand this white noise and constant rejection. The lack of freedom, the constant doubt.
"Amore mio," I heard around me. the voice sounded so familiar. Who is talking. I looked around, unable to find anyone around me.
"Jada," I heard, the voice clear.
**
"Jada," Alessio said close to me as my eyes shot open, and I sprang upright. I looked around, feeling this level of anxiety still present. Unexpectedly, I let out a sob, confused by my feelings. A firm and warm embrace covered my back and held me tight. It was Alessio. He wrapped his arm around my waist and hips. He held me oh so close, his legs beside me. I could feel his head nestle on my upper back and shoulder, close to my neck, but not deep within. His beard pricked against me. I was unsure what to do as the memory from the dream, it was unclear. It has been in my mind and then left, like it never existed. I was left with confusion and unexplained tears and pain. I could only remember bits and pieces. Alessio held onto me tight. It had felt real, like real things people had said to me, played back again. The reality of my home life being absolute shit.
It took a few minutes to calm down. Alessio didn't say a word. I could feel his breath against me. His stayed calm and steady, never once wavering. I felt like tangled yarn. Everything was twisted all wrong so fast. It had me feeling crazy and unstable. The silence had blanketed the room, nether one of us said anything. He never let me go or loosened his grip. I stayed so close to him, I actually enjoyed the firm embrace. Alessio always seemed cold and calculated, yet in this moment, he knew to cuddle and comfort me. Having someone help me calm down from a feeling I would have trouble with on my own was reassuring.
I felt safe. I felt safe and secure with him. I had never really felt like this for anyone. I had nothing to worry about or fret, I was safe. My eyes began to get heavy as I relaxed into his body. I just felt so tired and I couldn't fight it anymore. I found myself drifting back to sleep.
I lifted my eyes from the haziness of sleep. I was alone, I could tell he wasn't there anymore. I had wished he had waited till after I woke up. The more time I spent with him, the more entangled my brain became between love and hatred. The hatred in this moment felt more like distaste right now.
Speak of the devil, he exited out of the bathroom like some kind god. The towel was wrapped around his waist. His hair was a wet mop on his head, yet effortlessly laid across his forehead. His skin was still wet as water dripped down his head and onto his chest. My eyes flickered to soft peeks of his chest and his toned stomach. The way he pushed his hair back from his face. He wasn't trying to be attractive, yet he was. He wipped his towel off and began to wipe his face, exposing all the goodies. I was staring as my eyes trailed down. I only caught a glimpse of the thing, soft. He had made his way into the closet with long strides. He had yet to notice me, awake. His tanned skin flashed in my mind. He was naturally tan with olive undertones. I shook my head, trying to shake the image out of my mind. I wonder when he had time to exercise. I had yet to witness it.
I had found myself staring off into the distance. Why was he still suddenly on mind? He had me unsure about everything. A part of me was curious, what was it like to be married, especially to him. Alessio stepped out of the closet in a pair of jeans and a black polo. Everything had this perfect fit to him. He looked over to me, a small smile crept onto his face.
"Buongiorno" He said, it kinda sounded like bonjour, hello but I wasn't sure what he ment. None the less it was a kind greeting from him to me.
"Hello," I said, I half smiled at him.
"You should get dressed princess, I'll be making breakfast downstair," he told before scrmabling out the room. I missed his presence, I wanted him to hug me again. CRAZY! My brain was working much harder aganist me. He did seem less scary than before, not a whole lot but enought to relax under. It didn't take all to long to get dressed. I found a gold v neck blouse that was loose and flowly and a pair of white high raise jeans. I tucked the blouse, not tight. I braided my hair into 2 french braids and left out some hair around the front of my face. I felt comfortable in this outfit and quickly made my way downstairs. I didn't realize Alessio could cook and my interest had piqued. A smell waffed from the kitchen, bacon! I sped up until I found Alessio with an apron on and frying bacon on the pan. There were omlets off off to the side. In another pan was hashbrowns frying. It was my favorite breakfast!
"It smell delicious" I said taking a seat on the stool. He finished up, plating the fresh bacon. He sat next to me, yet again we found ourselves eating breaskfast, alone. The house so super quiet, like no one was here. Me and him being here was nerve wracking. I could still remember the feeling he gave me, vividly. Being this close I could smell his cologne, which had woodies kind smell. Our forks were the only sound I could, along with hum of thew a/c.
"Do you like the food?" he asked. I shook my head yes taking a final bite of the bacon left on my plate.
"I'm glad, I love to cook for you. What would be great today is to take you out, we can go shopping. Anything you want," Alessio said. I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Trying to buy my love?" I chuckled.
"No, but it would be nice to learn what you really like. To see you happier," he responded.
I seen Alessio look past me, to my right. His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes glossed over. Before I could ask what was wrong he pushed me off the chair roughly. As I hit the floor as the ring of a gunshot rang through the room. It echoed loudly in my ear, as I was unable to hear anything. I rotated to my body and seen Alessio fighting another man, my ears continued to ring as I found it hard to hear. I looked at Alessio who was trying to say something as he wrestled with the intruder in all black. I began to shake as Alessio fought hard aganist the intruder. He punched the intruder while I seen him get struck in his side. The tusseled and wrestleded. I watched his hand shoo me away as my mind began to processwhat he mean.
"RUN!" He yelled as my ears started to focus in.
I had to get out of here so I stood up, uneasy as my body felt weak and the fear rushed over me. The grunts of both men in their fight was so scary to hear. I turned out of the kitchen and ran down the hall forcing my legs not freeze on me. I made it a few strides before I ran into a second intruder. He grabbed me out of surprise, roughly holding me.
"Alessio!" I yelled out as I struggled aganist him, I tried to hit him as hard as I could, but the man was unphasesd. I didn't know who these men were but they scared me. I had no idea how they got in here and I was unsure we would be able to get out, we were out numbered. I was useless so it looked like it was Alessio aganist to, but I just wanted Alessio to save me. As I was forced into the kitchen a gun shot went off. The intruder who held me grabbed my arm firmer before pushing me into the entrance way of the kitchen. I stumbled back onto the ground. I heard the click of the gun as I froze.
"Don't do that" the intruder said.
"I'll kill you" Alessio's voice cut like a knife. I could hear him seething. I followed the sound of his voice with my eyes. He had a gun in his hand as well as we made eye contact for a breif moment before he looked past mer. My eyes scanned the kitchen, I seen blood flowing around the island. I adverted my eyes realizing her killed the man, justified though. This time, he truly murdered this man, there was so much blood as it slowly edged toward me.
"Ah ah ah! Not before me" the man warned. I could feel myself start to shake in pure fear. He was probably going to kill me first, so Alessio could suffer. Someone was clearly targeting him and I was just another easy step to get at him. I was a weakness as Alessio refused to moved any closer. Tears began to spill out of my eyes.
"Alessio, you're scaring her" he said with a tsk. I could sense the man stepping closer, his boots made a few click. I could feel something cold on the back on my head as I realized he had a gun to my head. It was silent. I was probably going to die, nothing had me more fearful than this.
"Now, put the gun down," the intruder commanded," honestly I just need you. She's extra. Maybe I can take her in the back after this."
I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see this anymore, I bite my lip to hide my sobs. I just wanted this nightmare to end, I didn't want Alessio to get hurt either. He could make no good choice without harming me and I did not want to be the reason he is killed. I wanted the stranger to get out, leave us alone. A loud grunt was made, there was some tusseling close by. I looked over at the two men fighting. I moved back quickly trying to stay out of the way, going deeper into the kitchen. Another gun shot went off causing me to jump and my ears to ring more, but it was further away. I ended up running into the kitchen island as it trapped me where I was, unable to move but blood had splashed on my shoes, I stepped in it. My eyes were at the ceiling trying to hard to keep my composure inside. I didn't want to know if Alessio lost.
"Shut your eyes amore mio" Alessio said a bit calmer.
I just close my eyes as I heard the man began to yell explectives. There were footsteps near and far, but I couldn't keep up. The man still cursed, but I was unable to process it. I covered my ears to block him out. It finally went silent after another gun shot went off, muffled this time. This time I knew he killed the man, I understood why. For once, he made perfect sense. I was thankful not to die or have anything else bad happen beside the end of this nightmare. There was some shuffling before I was lifted up, bridal style. I burried my head into his chest. He held me firmly and stroked my head.
"I'll never let anything happen to you. I love you more than anything else. Hold on tight, I'll get you out of here soon," he told me, his voice was still seethign as he attempted to calmly speak to me. He ripped my shoes off as he led me somewhere that seemed unfamiliar. I was finally set down into a seat and I opened my eyes. It was a carI had never been into before, in the passanger seat, he slammed the door behind me. I watched him rip out his phone dialing someone quickly before he began screaming in Italian. I noticed we were in a garage, the car was a 2 seater with no back seat, sleek in design and white leather seats. Alessio's hands flaired around as he argued on the phone. He spoke on the phone for about 2 minutes or so before he threw his phone on the ground and smashed it with his feet. He entered the car, still slamming the door behind himself.
"I'm sorry amore mio. I dont mean to scare you. I'm upset about what happened. For now I'm taking us out of state to a vacation home, my family happens to be already there so you all will meet for the first time. Right now, I need you to be safe. I'll buy you everything you need, anything. Just be patient," he told me.
I just nodded as my shaking hand grabbed his. He squeezed my hand back and planted a soft kisson my hand. I looked into his eyes trying to keep my breathing calm. He looked angry so I didn't question anything, there really wasn't much to question. All I knew is I didn't want him to leave me. Alessio was a dangerous man, and people now knew about me too. I was forever attached to him, clearly. I could lose my life and he was the only one who could save me. The garage door opened and Alessio sped out of the drive way and onto the street. I didn't know exactly where we were going, I wasn't even nervous to meet his family. I was more worried about being followed. Even though he was more than capable of taking care of himself I was afraid Alessio was going to get hurt trying to protect me. I didn't want him to waste himself saving me yet I felt safe close to him. I couldn't decide what I wanted more, my protection or his. I wished I could sit closer to him so I would feel safer, like when he embraced me, but I didn't mention it. The car drove off quickly as we sped away from the city and to some place unknown for me.
A/N
Firstly, I apologize for the repeat upload. I made an error and didn't mark off a chapter I posted from my storing spot. Sorry.
I am making regular changes to the cover, so please don't be alarmed. Thank you for reading and continuing to read. Let me know what cover you like the best?
I appreciate EVERY read. This book is a really fun project I WILL complete in the next couple of weeks.