Author: Rathilluser
Reviewer: OutOfMyImagination
Genre: Fantasy
Hello and thank you for requesting a review. As you requested, I focused on character depth, development, and plot within the story, and of course overall impression. I read eight chapters in total, so the review is up to that point in the story.
The God's Game offers a mysterious world ruled by cruel gods. Even kings and queens must oblige them. Here we meet River, an unwanted king's son hidden from the world. But one encounter with a king of the south will send River on an alternative path he never dreamed of.
The book cover looks great and relates to the story as well. However, the book's description lacks information, and it's not clear what the main story points are. I suggest adding more information about River, the World Build, and making sure the book description is polished and has good grammar and punctuation since that is supposed to capture readers' attention.
The story has an interesting premise, but it is hard to grasp the concept so far. There is a good start to a world build but there should be way more to it, there is a huge amount of information missing. When it comes to high fantasy books, writers need to think of all the details. I appreciated that some of the customs depending on the place were explained, but I wanted to know more.
The prologue didn't offer any valuable information. If anything, it confused me because it's not clear how the King was talking to Gods and the dialogue was confusing as well, and what was the point of carrying the baby there? Other chapters are concise and could be connected since they end abruptly.
I saw you mentioned that English is not your first language and I can feel that struggle since it's not my first language as well. I would suggest getting Grammarly since the free version offers enough to catch small errors. Your main issues are dialogue punctuation, the lack of it to be specific, and some small spelling issues, but I believe with Grammarly they would be fixed in no time.
When it comes to character development, it's very hard to judge since I didn't read that much and the chapters are very short as mentioned. The character's motives and characteristics are unclear. When writing compelling characters, try to ask yourself what drives them to each action they take. For example, why did River attend the ball? Was it because he always wanted to belong, or because he was loyal to his brother, or maybe something else? When you figure that out, try to show it and don't tell it. Introduce characters when they come up in the story to avoid confusion. Raven, his title, and his past were introduced early on, but we get to see him just in the seventh chapter. Instead, you could tell more about River, his brother, and his family.
The plot as I mentioned has potential you could focus more on world-building, and explain how the Gods work in this story since they seem important as the title and prologue suggest, but readers don't get to see that. The world setting is not clear, for example, food, travel, etc., should be included when River goes to the ball in a not-too-complicated way.
I would rate this story two out of five stars. I think it has potential, but it needs a bit more work when it comes to structure, technicalities, and plotting.
I would recommend this story to readers who love short chapters and royalty-fantasy-based books.