A whole week. It had been a whole week of Alex ignoring me and staying away. He didn't hang out with us during lunch or after school and he never came by when we hung out at Cam's house. He was ghosting me and it was driving me crazy.
I didn't think he was serious when he said he needed time away from me but he was. All week he avoided me like the plague. When we would see each other, he would turn the other way.
Tuesday at lunch I was sulking on the table completely distraught. Kimmy was rubbing my back and Cam was sitting in front of me trying to make me laugh. He grabbed two straws and put them in his mouth to look like a walrus.
"Aww come on, this is funny!" He whined when I didn't laugh. Kim moves the hair out of my face.
"He'll come back Millie, he's just processing everything. Alex is a deep thinker." She was right. Alex was always quiet and deep in thought about stuff, and he called me closed off, the irony.
"It's been a week. Should I just try again?" I asked, looking at them both.
"Yes," Kimmy says.
"No," Cam says at the same time. They both exchange weird glances.
"Why would she give him more time? It's been a week and she should try again." Kim tells him.
"He said he wants to be alone and he said that Millie should figure out what she wants. Which she hasn't. Therefore she should leave it alone." Was he right? Should I just leave him alone? I bite my lip to think. Alex did say to give him time and I did just that but maybe I could try to see if he feels different.
"That's stupid. Millie go talk to him."
Cam shakes his head. "No, let him come to you." Why was he so persistent on this?
I look behind me to Alex's friend group, the stoners. He's quiet and looking off somewhere, then he turns his head and we lock eyes. Just like we've done a million times. I'm going to go talk to him.
Getting up immediately and marching over, I stand right in front of him in an instant.
"Can we please talk?" I ask with pleading eyes. Alex is surprised by my forcefulness because I practically ran over here.
"Sure." He follows down a hallway where hardly anyone walked by. When we get in front of each other, it's awkward and quiet. He doesn't want to make eye contact with me and his hands are stuffed in his pockets. I feel terrible.
"Alex, I miss you, please talk to me." I miss his voice.
His face is lowered now so he doesn't look me in the eye. "I told you I needed space."
"It's been a week isn't that enough?"
Alex picks up his head and looks into my eyes. "No, it's not enough. I'm crazy about you Millie. And I can't be just friends anymore. At least not right now okay?" He couldn't just be friends with me anymore? This sucked. I had to now go on without him.
"But when?" I plead. I just want us to go back to normal.
Alex knits his eyebrows together. "When you make a decision." Crap. I hadn't told him my decision yet but I was hoping he'd forget it and move on. He wants us to have the talk. The lay everything out in the open talk, the way I treated him, my past if I trusted him, and if I wanted to have a relationship.
"Can't we just be us again?"
He looks away again and sighs. "I need time and clearly so do you."
"I understand. But I do miss my friend. We all miss you, it's not the same."
He just nods his head and we say our goodbyes. Fucking fantastic. I had to let him be on his own and I would have to be on mine. Hopefully, soon he will come back to hanging out with us again. We were officially broken up. I want to cry.
Another week later Kim and I are walking down the hall after the last bell has rung. We were trying to decide what we wanted to do over the weekend because it was finally Friday.
"Let's go to my house and bake cakes!" Kim smiles, grabbing a hold of my arm.
"You had me at cake. I'm there."
"All my cousins will probably be there so don't mind them."
I wiggle my eyebrows at her. "Are any of them cute?" She pushes her hip into mine.
"Shut up gross."
As we make our way out the front of the school we see Sam walking by herself out the front gates.
"Why is she walking home, doesn't Cam always drive her?" Kim asked. I shrug my shoulders. Kim tightly squeezes my hand and pulls me. "Come on, we're following her."
"Wait, Kim." She picks up the pace and we stay about 10 feet behind Sam.
"I'm tired of all the excuses of how she's always too busy for him. We are finding out what she does when Cam isn't around."
I grab her arm to slow her down a little. "Are you sure? This feels wrong."
Kim ignores me and we keep up the pace when Sam turns another corner. Where was she going?
"Does she live over here?" I ask as we stroll through a neighborhood.
Kim scoffs. "No, that's why it's weird." Now I was fully invested. I never liked Sam so of course I wanted to get to the bottom of this once and for all. For my best friend's sake.
After going down two blocks, Sam finally stops at a corner and pulls out her phone to text. Kim and I hide behind a car and she pulls out her phone as well.
"I'm getting Cam down here." She calls him and he picks up after 2 rings. "Cam meet us at Briars Ave right now." I hear him on the other line.
"What why?"
"Just get over here." She clicks. Shit is about to go down.
Five minutes later Cam pulled up parking behind the car we hid behind. Sam was too busy on her phone to notice. He walks out of his car and over to us.
"What are you guys doing?" Kim pulls him down to our level.
"We followed Sam." She points over.
His face is confused. "Why are you following her?"
Just then a car pulls up to where Sam is. She squeals with excitement and jumps in. We see a guy around our age in the driver's seat, he leans in and gives her a kiss. Oh no this was bad.
Cam gets up quickly and runs over before they leave.
"Sam!" He yells. His girlfriend turns her head and her eyes bulge. She was just caught cheating. Kim and I run over to hear what's going on and to protect him if need be.
"What's going on? Who is this guy?" He pulls the car door open for her to get out.
"Oh god, Cam you weren't supposed to find out like this!" She jumps out and puts her hands up.
"You're cheating? Cheating!" He runs his hands through his hair. "This whole time I thought I was the one that needed to change. I thought everything was my fault!"
Sam tries to grab his arms to calm him down but he pushes her off.
"Cam I'm sorry. I just. I liked you in the beginning but we grew apart and I started falling for someone else. I didn't know how to break up with you. I never wanted to break your heart."
"So you were waiting for me to break up with you?"
She nods her head. "Yes. I thought if you saw how distant I was. You'd break up with me but you just tried more. I couldn't break up with you, you're the lovable good guy, I wanted you to break up with me."
He has tears in his eyes. The guy in the driver's seat stands up by his door. "Yo Sam let's go, it's our anniversary." Oh this was even worse, wasn't it?
"Anniversary?" Cam starts. "How long have you been cheating on me?"
She looks down in guilt. "3 months." Cam immediately walks away and I look at Kim in confusion.
"They've been dating for almost 5 months." She lets me know. That means when I met Cam, she was already cheating on him and he was trying to figure out why she was suddenly pushing him away. That's all I needed to hear. I stomped right over to her and slapped her.
"Stay away from him or I'll kill you." I can't believe she's been cheating the whole time I've known him. She's lucky I didn't beat her up. All those times we hung out with her, she was cheating behind his back. Sleeping with another guy while he stayed loyal.
After Sam pulls away we run over to Cam who is sitting on the curb with his head buried in his lap. I sat down next to him. How do you comfort someone that just got cheated on? His blonde hair flops down and his arms are crossed on top of his knees.
"She didn't deserve you, Cam," Kim says crouching down in front of him.
"I thought she loved me." He says looking up with watery eyes. My heart is breaking for him. "We were growing apart and this whole time it was because she was cheating. I wanted to make it work. She was my first girlfriend." I wanted to hug him, I wanted to tell him that he could do a thousand times better. Who could ever want to cheat on him? He's funny, smart, handsome, caring, and above all else perfect.
Cam looks at me. "Am I unlovable?" What kind of question is that?
"Are you kidding? You're amazing. She doesn't see what I see, what we all see." I responded, grabbing a hold of his forearm and squeezing it. He was the perfect guy, how could Sam not see that?
He drops his head. "She never wanted to be around me. No one ever does. I have to beg for people to hang out with me." This was heartbreaking. The most loveable guy in the world just got his heart stomped on.
"I wanna be around you," I assure him. I loved being around him, he always made my day better.
"You never have to beg us. We'll always want to hang out with you Cam. We love you." Kim grabs his hand tightly. I hated seeing him like this. I hated seeing him sad and heartbroken, it made me feel just as bad. He had become my best friend and I would do anything for him.
"We should get out of here, Cam, give me your keys, I'll drive," Kim says with her hand out. He pulls them out of his pocket and we get in. He was quiet the whole car ride and after we dropped him off, Kim and I walked home together. Cam said he would sleep it off but I doubt he'll get much sleep after everything that just happened.
Kim let me know just how she felt about what conspired as soon as we walked down his driveway. "I can't believe this! I knew there was something going on! And Marco called it, he thought she was cheating."
I nod my head. "He didn't deserve that." A part of me wants to rush into Cam's house to be with him. I don't want him to be alone.
"No, the fuck he didn't! But you know what, at least he's out of it. Now he can be single again or date girls that won't cheat on him."
My nerves flare up at the thought of him dating other girls. "Yeah, but he should stay single," I say.
Kim huffs. "He was better off single. Cam didn't care about girls and no one ever caught his eye until stupid Sam made a move." We turn the corner as she begins to tell me a story.
"Cam had told all of us when we were hanging out in his basement how a girl named Sam asked him out during his summer practice. He was so excited because Sam was different from the other girls, she stuck to herself and was really nice. She had asked him to be her boyfriend and he's never dated before so he said why not? Alex hated the idea because he liked having Cam as a wingman and Marco had his crush so he hated it too. Cam looked at me for approval. We're close like that. He's never liked a girl before so I thought this would be a good experience for him to give someone a chance. I told him to go for it and he did. But now I feel like it's my fault." How could she have known Sam would turn out like this? There was no way of knowing.
"It's not your fault," I assure her. "Cam said the beginning was great."
She shakes her head. "Yeah, but Cam has never liked a girl before. I should have told him to wait until he had formed a crush of his own." Poor Cameron trusted Sam because she was his first and now he's going to be scarred for life by girls.
I stop in my tracks and look back down the street. "Should I go back and comfort him? I don't want him to be alone."
Kim looks back down the street, then at me. "You guys are close huh?" Was it obvious how close we had gotten in the short amount of time?
"Yeah, I guess so."
"I noticed how close you guys were at the mall. He's never shopped with me before but suddenly he wants to go now and wait in the dressing room. He adores you." My cheeks flushed into a light shade of pink. I blame the cold weather. Was he really doing those things for me?
"He's my best friend. You both are. When you were hurting I wanted to be with you and now that he's hurting I want to be with him." I can't stand seeing my friends hurt like this, it kills me.
She gives me a smile. "It's nice to see someone care about him as much as I do if not more than I do. He would appreciate that but let's leave him be today." Maybe she's right, I should leave him alone today and try to make him feel better another day.
"We should invite him to bake with us tomorrow? So he's not alone." She nods her head.
"Yeah, we can do that. Man, I hope he's okay."
"I hope so too," I say as we continue walking down the sidewalk.
He's the best guy in the world. If someone could cheat on that then this world was doomed. I thought men were trash but women were just as bad. We all sucked.
The next day I met up with Kimmy at her house to bake. It was around 4 pm and we were having dinner first and then we were going to bake for the whole family. Kim had a huge family, 3 sisters and 3 cousins who lived with her. Then she had her uncles and aunts who lived in the back house with their kids. And so many more cousins who were coming down to visit.
Her mom had cooked Mole with rice and beans and set up tables in the back for everyone to eat. I was sitting with my plate and drinking soda while Kim was speaking to her uncles by the grill where they cooked meat. One boy who I thought was pretty cute comes over to sit with me and the other kids at my table.
"Hi I don't believe we've met, you're Kim's friend?" His hand reaches over.
"Yeah, I'm Millie." I shake his hand. He tells me his name is Christian and he's one of Kim's cousins. I knew she had a cute one.
Christian was only a few inches taller than me but his face made up for his height.
"Do you speak Spanish?" He asked.
"Not really, my dad used to talk to me in Spanish but he moved a long time ago and my mom doesn't speak it so yeah." My mom was only half Mexican while my dad was full.
"That's no bueno." He smiles. Kimmy comes over and sits across from me with her plate.
"Ew, Chris you better leave Millie alone."
He rolls his eyes. "She likes having me around."
The smoke from the grill glided up into the sky but some of it was also hitting us. I wave the smoke away when it burns my eyes a little and look the other way. I see Cam walking in from the side of the house. My smile picks up. He was wearing a green hoodie with the hood up and black jeans with Converse.
"Cammie! You came." I yell.
I hear Christian's voice behind me ask Kim if that was my boyfriend. Cam sits beside me and gives a half smile.
"Of course, I came, I couldn't miss Mrs. Nunez's cooking." His eyes looked tired like he hasn't gotten much sleep.
Kim slaps his hand on the table. "Go say hi to her or she'll get mad." Before he can get up, Kimmy's mom walks out.
"Is that Cameron?!" She yells with her hands on her hips.
"Is that my favorite cook in the entire world?" He says back getting up to hug her. At least he's smiling and not completely depressed.
"Ohhh you just keep getting taller and taller." She pinches his cheeks. "Did you eat yet? Let me make you a plate."
"Nonsense. I can make it."
"No, you're a guest. Kim make him a plate." Mrs. Nunez waves at Kimmy.
She rolls her eyes. "He's a big boy, he can make his own." Cam was like a second son to her, he had been coming over every other weekend since he was 5.
Mrs. Nunez makes him a plate anyway and sets it on the table for him, then kisses his cheek and goes back to the kitchen. His dimples are showing.
"She loves to baby you." Kim snarks.
"I'm a growing boy, Kim, don't be jealous because she loves me more than you."
I was so happy to see him smile. I lean into him while he eats.
"How are you feeling?" I know I shouldn't ask so soon but I couldn't help it, I want confirmation.
He looks over at me with a full mouth. "Great." He's totally lying but I'll let it go because I'm just happy he's here and not alone.
Later on, the three of us head into the kitchen to start baking. Kim wanted to make everything from scratch so we had to go by a recipe she printed out for homemade Red Velvet Cheesecake Cake.
"Kim, this looks really hard," I say scanning the pages. Front and back.
She's pulling the ingredients out from the fridge and Cam is taking out the appliances.
"It's going to be fun! And once it's finished it's gonna taste amazing."
"That's what she said!" Cam yells.
I groan on the counter and just lay there. Cam comes over and hits my back with a spoon.
"Come on, I'll show you."
Kim starts making the cake and Cam and I team up to make the cheesecake part. She didn't own a mixer so we had to do it by hand. I dump the cream cheese and sugar in a bowl and Cam churns it with his right arm. He was doing it for a full 5 minutes while I watched.
"Here Mills my arm is too weak." He hands me the bowl and I mix it.
"Guess I'm stronger than you," I smirked up at him.
"I did all the work." He states, leaning his body close to mine. My cheeks are turning red from how close he is.
Kim is already done with her cake mix and is waiting on us.
"Will you guys hurry? It has to be baked at the same time."
Cam grabs the bowl from me. "Millie said she wanted to make love to the bowl and take her time."
"I would never say such a thing. Cam is just weak and wanted someone stronger than him to do all the work."
She rolls her eyes and takes our bowl, putting it in a tray and setting both cakes in the oven.
"You run a tight ship, Kim Kim," I say wiping my hands on my pants. Cam wipes his hands on my back and I push him off.
"Hey stop! I just bought this shirt!"
He just gives me a toothy grin. Kim says we can go to the living room to watch TV and wait for the cakes to cook. Cam sits in the middle and I sit on the right of him. The kids were in the living room watching Sherk.
"Kimmy how long till the cake is ready!" One little boy asked her, sitting by her legs.
"In like an hour and a half."
Cam lays his head back and closes his eyes. He was trying to feel better but he was obviously heartbroken. All I want to do is lay my head on his shoulder and tell him it's going to be okay.
Christian walks in and sits next to me, causing me to bump into Cam and wake him up. He looks up at the guy who disturbed him with a tired face.
"Hey, Millie. Mind if I sit with you?" He asked.
"Sure, I don't care."
He smiles wide and leans into the couch to watch with us.
"Would you turn into an ogre for your man?" He asked me.
I think for a while. "Depends on the guy. I'd need more than a day to mull it over." Cam looks at me.
"Not me. I'd turn into one in a second."
I scrunch my nose at him. "Why?"
"Because then we'd be in it together." I roll my eyes. So cheesy. Cam was the romantic type. Although his words remind me of what I had said once before.
"Well, I wouldn't." Christian answers. "I like being pretty."
Kim leaned over to him. "But you're not pretty."
After about an hour I got up to check the cakes. Kim said all I had to do was stick a knife in and if I saw anything on the knife then it wasn't ready. When I checked they were in fact not ready so I closed the oven back and leaned on the counter.
After all this time away from Alex I had made a decision. I wanted to stay single, I just wasn't ready to trust him with my heart. And I liked this new Millie I was becoming, I was finally getting used to it. Not having a revenge plan had me reevaluate my whole life. I love flirting with boys and not being tied down. Relationships can wait.
Cam walks inside the kitchen. "How are the cakes? Did you screw it up? Do we need to make another?"
I cross my arms. "If it messes up you have to take the blame."
"Anything for you Millie." My face blushes. Cam stands next to me by the oven.
The time read 8:30 pm. Kim's family were all outside getting drunk and being loud.
"I'm glad you came today," I said to him, he's messing with the oven mitts on the counter.
"Me too. I had fun."
I nudge his arm with my elbow playfully. "I wanted to stay with you yesterday to comfort you but I knew you had to be alone."
Cam looks up at me and his honey waves. "You should have stayed." Butterflies. I have no words. Does he mean that? He wanted me to be there. Oh, as a friend. Still, I love that he wanted me there. Now I wish I didn't listen to Kim and I went over like I wanted to.
The silence between us wasn't awkward, I was staring at his hands playing with the fabric.
"Have you made a decision about Alex?" He breaks the tension.
"Yeah. I've decided I want to be single. I'm not ready to trust him with my heart." Cam's eyes fixed so we were staring at each other.
"I like that idea."
"Me too."
He moves his eyes like he's thinking. "You never kissed my brother right?"
I shake my head with disbelief. "What! God no."
"Good. He's an ass." Why was he asking about that?
"I'm steering clear of boys. I wanna find myself through this new Millie."
He makes a confused face." What do you mean?"
"Well I was a loner before and I wasn't very pretty remember? Now my life is different and I want to explore that. With no revenge plan." Whoops I let that out by accident.
"Revenge plan?"
I look away at the wall of pictures in the kitchen. "Um yeah. It's stupid. I was sleeping with guys to get revenge for how they treated girls because I was treated terribly. But I'm not doing that anymore." He's quiet for a second. Did I scare him away already? Please don't hate me or run away.
"Oh. I was wondering why you were with guys you didn't like." He could see that? Cam knew this whole time that I was messing with guys I didn't like and he just said nothing.
"How would you know I didn't like them?"
He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know, I just knew you didn't."
"Bad boys were my type, but I think it was more fun to want them than to actually have them." I point out. They used to be my kryptonite but it was also just the exhilaration of it all. I didn't really know what I wanted anymore. That was why I wanted to figure out the new Millie. I spent all my time wanting revenge, I ended up liking one of my exploits and messing everything up. I wanted to let go of all my hurt and anger and be happy with my life now.
I loved my new life, I have friends, boys that like me and I'm beautiful. What's not to love?
We spent the rest of the night watching movies and eating cake. It was a fun weekend with just the three of us and Cam was smiling, that's all that mattered to me.