One thing I didn't anticipate was the things I had to cut off from my life once I made the bold step to leave home. For instance I had to block all the numbers in my contact mainly because I didn't have the means to change my number, I had to delete most of my social media apps in case anyone wanted to track me or something. Not to mention the paranoia that followed me when I walked around the street. I don't think I regret leaving the comfort of my home but there are many things I left behind like enough clothes and things for my entertainment that working for Mrs Bessy gave me an excitement as I let my mind wander to the things I could do for myself now.
I thought of buying new tee shirts and sweatpants from the thrift store and maybe a new pair of shoes—my list hasn't gone that far yet.
"Thank you, dear. You can take a break now," Bessy said as I helped her take a seat on the armchair in the living room. My job entails me helping around with manual work like fixings and lifting, sometimes her leg doesn't permit her to move around freely so I assist her in moving around and reaching for things. It looks easy enough for the pay and I'm glad to be doing something valuable with my time.
It helps that Bessy is a sweet old lady. I never got the chance to interact with my grandparents since they cut us off from their lives when my mother got pregnant so it was warming to receive compliments from her, and appraisals. She didn't ask me a lot of questions like I expected, only the basic things like my age and food I preferred, what sport I like and stuff like that.
"Help yourself to any of the leftovers in the fridge. Do you like fried chicken rice? Poppy loves them, I think she had some left from yesterday. You can heat it up before she comes back," She winked at me before shooing me away to have time for myself.
The clock on the wall read thirty minutes past six in the evening, that makes it a lot of hours since I've been here. Shortly after Mr Richardson left in the morning I did my best to avoid Penelope and her sour mood until she left for work around twelve pm. Most of my day was spent arranging some boxes Bessy had lying around in the house in the attic, assisting her to her room and back, helping her with the TV dish because the thing kept glitching. Much as the exterior of the home looked old, the inside was the same with a lot of vintage trinkets and appliances. I'd say it made the house feel more like a home.
After heating the food which was delicious Mrs Bessy called me to have a chat. "How are you, Daniel?" The way she looked at me as asked the question gave me the feeling that she knew something.
"I'm fine Mrs Bessy."
"Just Bess is fine," she held my hand, "Richardson told me what happened so I want to make sure you're really doing well. I don't know your past or what you're running away from but it's always better to talk about it and seek advice."
"There's nothing I'm running away from. It's... complicated."
"Are you in trouble with bad people?" She asked, concerned.
"No, no, I'm not. It's just home...it wasn't the place for me anymore," I whispered. "I honestly didn't have a good life with my mother. I guess it took a day for everything to just explode and spiral out of control. But I'm fine Bess, I really am."
No, I'm not.
"What happened?" The golden question.
"I'd rather not say," there was an edge to my tone, "I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to open up about it yet."
"So stubborn like my little Poppy, always thinking she can handle everything on her own. Young kids these days. Well I'm glad you're here working for me, consider me like your grandmamma. And I'll be ready to hear your story, hopefully soon."
"Thank you," I said.
Penelope announced herself immediately after that. "I'm home Nonna!"
"What? I didn't even hear the door open." Penelope bent down to place a kiss on her forehand. "How are you doing? How's your leg? How's your first weekend with me huh? Bet you missed me," she kissed her on the cheek again.
Bess broke out to a fit of laughter. "Stop, stop with the kisses Poppy, I'm too old for that. And who says I missed you? I had Daniel keeping me company the whole day. At least he doesn't argue with me every second."
Penelope turned to face me. Her hair was tied in a bun with a few tendrils scattered across her face, her cheeks were flush and her dress looked ruffled probably from the rush of working on the weekends. I just stared at her with a blank expression as the sour mood from earlier returned. She in turn stared at me but with a softer expression, one that exudes pity.
I knew it. "I'll just be in the kitchen, clearing the plates," I excused myself.
Two minutes later she was behind me, I had my back facing her as I scrubbed the plate excessively, venting out my frustrations on it.
"I'm sorry about this morning, Daniel. That's not really my true behavior, I guess I have a problem with letting new people into my life so I prefer to just be rude and closed off. I promise I wasn't talking to you out of pity, it was impressed on my heart to get to know you which might sound absurd but it's the truth."
"Okay."
"Is that all you have to say?"
I abandoned the plate. "Drop the act Penelope, can you even see yourself right now? Don't even try to give me any of your damn pity because I don't need it," I seethed, "It was a private conversation but you just couldn't mind your own business for five minutes to stay out of it. And now you're apologizing? Because you finally know what a messed up life I came from right? Because you've seen that I'm the boy who ran away from home, the boy who needs your help. Well I don't need any of your help Penelope. I don't."
"Why are you being so infuriating? For once stop letting your anger get the best of you," she said.
"Excuse me if I don't appreciate you eavesdropping on my personal matters. Or will you deny that you weren't listening?"
She didn't say anything which proved my point further. The urge to run away filled me again, to go away somewhere far away where no one can ever see my vulnerabilities and try to judge me on it. They don't understand. They can never comprehend just how much it takes for a person to leave home especially when the sad truth is I had no loved one who'd even miss me. It was me taking care of myself. I had to take my life by the horns and direct it towards where I wanted to be. Having Penelope look at me like one of those lost boys made a deeper hole in me.
She thinks she can fix me. I know that's what she thinks and with her pretty little Bible too.
"People like you are so predictable," I said.
"No, people like you are Daniel. Yes I eavesdropped on you and I can apologize for that but what I won't be sorry for is caring about you and what you are going through. It's definitely not pity, trust me I've seen what pity looks like. Stop living in your own shell all the time. Look around you for just one second and you'll see dozens with their own issues too," she said. "And I'm not trying to fix anybody, I'm only doing what's right which the world has made like a bad thing now."
Penelope sighed and sat down on the stool in front of me. "I've had a really long day."
Then I saw it. The understanding, heaviness on her shoulders, dullness in her eyes and weak smile. I saw a vulnerable Penelope which I don't think anyone has, or maybe it's because I know how it feels to carry so many thoughts around. Penelope had her own issues too.
I felt stupid for getting angry in the first place.
"I'm sorry," I said. "It's not easy, it never is and I have to be careful of...many things. This is the new direction of my life now and I want to live it normally as if I've always been here. I want to forget everything I've left behind and focus on going forward and figuring so many things out. I want to appreciate this new opportunity I have no matter how difficult it is. People looking at me like I need help is just something I left behind that I never wanted to see again. Never."
She nodded. "I understand. So we're good?"
I smiled faintly, "help me with the plates and we'll be even."
"I've spent eight hours serving dishes and washing them so Ha! You're on your own there Danny." Penelope yawned, stretching herself.
Danny.
"I'm letting you off the hook this time. You should go and rest, I can't imagine the stress of serving food and washing dishes."
"Don't forget the judgmental people I have to deal with. They're the worst."
"Judgemental people? Who dares judge Penelope except me," I joked. It helped ease the tension between us. Hopefully we can start out on a new page.
Eight o'clock came by sooner after conversing with Penelope an hour before that. I found out she was still in her final year at high school as I was so I stayed with her in the kitchen, watching her do her assignments seeing as she refused my help. Her exact words were, "stay there and don't distract me." To which I replied, "So I'm distracting aye?" Then she threw an eraser at my face.
"Should I come around tomorrow Mrs Bess?" I asked. Mr Richardson's car had just pulled up on the driveway.
"No, dear. We have Sunday service tomorrow so you don't need to come."
"Are you sure? I can come by around one pm if you like."
"Take the day and rest. Poppy and I will be fine. You can come on Monday, eight am on the dot," Bess said.
"Yes ma'am. I'll be going now. Bye."
"Poppy, say bye to Daniel before he leaves."
She rolled her eyes, "Bye Danny. See you on Monday."
I chuckled a little as I entered the car. Richardson adjusted his mirror and smiled at me. "How was your day? I take it as good since you're smiling a lot right now."
I looked out the window, "It was good. I can't wait to see what the other days have in store for me."
As he drove I did my best to ignore the vibration of the phone in my pocket.