Prayer has the ability to restore life and bring us face to face with God. Many have not fully tapped into the dimensions of prayer, they have merely scratched the surface. Even now prayer is seen as a means of making requests instead of communing with God. The most difficult aspect of prayer is the time of answer and result. Sometimes it may be soon, like a day or two or a week while other times it could be for a month or years. God's time is always the right time but many do not understand.
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The best part of dawn is the peace and quiet which I have come to enjoy even after the troubling events of sleep. I like to think I've gotten used to waking up in fear from seeing the awful things in my dreams. I liked to think one day it'd go away and I wouldn't have to feel a deep dread whenever I closed my eyes. And maybe I had hope that the previous night would be different after Mr Richardson prayed for me. It was such a vulnerable moment for me, to be held and comforted the way I wished to.
Immediately I opened my eyes, I was filled with resentment. He never listens to prayers and I shouldn't have expected anything different. After years of shouting out my own prayers and asking God why, not once did any good come out of it. I clenched my fists, suddenly the quiet was gone and I was sucked into the turmoils of my mind.
He doesn't exist, you're giving yourself false hope to help you get by, what's the point? This is exactly why you gave up, what's the point?
I fell down, leaning on the wall by the window. Everywhere hurt, especially my chest. It ached so badly that I just wanted to cry but I couldn't. The desperation to find something to fill that emptiness overwhelmed me. I took out my phone from my pocket and went to my gallery. I had a few pictures and videos, there was one I favored the most.
"Is it on?" He chuckled, "I don't even know how to operate this thing, no wonder he calls me old man."
"Derek, you have it in selfie mode, press this reverse button here." My mother smiled, helping him to switch direction.
"It's still not working Samantha!"
"That's because you have your finger on the camera," my mother shook her head.
He laughed at his silliness but nonetheless proceeded to adjust the camera well so he could get a good view. "That's my boy," he whispered, "look at his little legs. Isn't he great Samantha? Go Daniel!! Get the goal! get the goal!" He cheered so loudly at the little boy with a big goofy smile on his face. He was very happy to have his parents show up for his first game at preschool even though it was just a friendly match.
"It's just a friendly game, honey. Relax."
"Yes but our son is going to win and with the most goals. I'm so proud of him, you know that? He can definitely do anything he sets his mind to. God has truly blessed him."
"God has truly blessed us," mom said.
I paused the video. Things had been good, I had parents who adored me and pushed me to do my best. Never did I lack anything or was given a reason to complain about anything. My father loved me...or so I thought.
Daniel then was determined and didn't let measly things get to him. Where did that Daniel go?
Four hours passed by before I got myself up to do my morning routine. The house has been quiet since so I assumed Mr Richardson left for work. I drooled at the sight of fresh pancakes with butter on the kitchen counter, he even added strawberries to it with orange juice.
"I was wondering how long you'd take in there," his voice startled me.
Usually I would ignore him but I made a promise to myself. "It's not like I'm doing anything important. I mean I usually just take my time to think before... before-"
"You don't have to explain yourself to me if you don't want to, Daniel. I called Mrs Bessy last night to inform her about you and she's very excited to meet you. She does ask a lot of questions, boundary is not in her vocabulary unfortunately," he laughed softly, "she's a good woman, you'll get used to her. Now, be quick with the food, you and I are leaving soon."
"To?"
"Mrs Bessy's place," he frowned, "You don't remember our conversation last night? I figured today's a weekend so you can start immediately."
I nodded and started eating. The silence between us eventually became awkward so I asked, "No work today?"
"No, I took the day off to attend to you after...last night," we hadn't addressed it yet, "I thought it'd be best if you didn't wake up in an empty house."
He cleared his throat and I already knew what he wanted to say. "About yesterday-"
"I'm done eating. The food was lovely Mr Richardson, I enjoyed it. In fact I don't think I've thanked you formally for all your help, if you hadn't taken me in... I don't want to imagine the state I'd be in now so thank you. I appreciate it." And for the first time I gave him a genuine smile.
It turns out the old man has a car, although quite vintage with certain parts that needed replacement it was still functional. I'm surprised at how it's able to move down the road as we drove to Mrs Bessy's home. I made sure to cover my face with my hoodie, slouching further in my seat as we passed the place where Tobias and his friends hung out. They gathered at the porch of Carlos' father's house. Because of his job the man was always away leaving Carlos to entertain whomever he pleased. As usual Micheal had a cigarette in his mouth-does he ever take a break from that thing? While the rest of the boys had a can of beer in hand.
I looked at my phone. Twenty three minutes past ten and they were already drinking.
As for the purpose of my avoidance, I didn't want them knowing who I stayed with and after conversing with Penelope I was suddenly apprehensive towards them. My mind drifted to her request, she asked to be friends although she didn't seem happy about it. We spent another hour talking about ourselves and getting to know each other. Penelope was really closed off initially, speaking only about general things like stuff she preferred and how she values her work. I spoke about my future because I definitely didn't want to acknowledge my past. The future is filled with so many possibilities that it's easy to come up with your own happy ending regardless of how absurd it sounds. Mine was to find my purpose. We both avoided talking about her Bible and what she said to me because of the noticeable tension about our differences in opinions about it.
Anyways, I ended up throwing the remaining two cigarettes Tobias gave me and went home afterwards. I had a firm conviction not to join them back in the diner.
"Here we are." Mr Richardson stopped in front of a dainty looking house surrounded by a fence that's falling apart and in the middle of a vast compound. The lawn was overgrown, the roof rusted and it had many random items scattered at the entrance. The house was a definition of old and hanging.
We stepped out of the car. I pressed the bell while Mr Richardson stood back with his hands in his pockets. This house wasn't the only house in the neighborhood that looked old, the others were smaller with little chips and molds somewhere. There were even a few old people sitting on a rocking chair in their porches with a newspaper in hand.
I wasn't paying attention when the door opened and was pleasantly surprised to see Penelope at the door. "You!" She pointed at me, not looking very happy. "What are you doing here? How did you find this place?"
"Is that how you welcome your guests?" I smiled smugly, "And you're not being very friendly. It's upsetting, dear friend." I rubbed my chest as if I was in pain.
Mr Richardson stepped in front of me, "Hello Poppy, is your grandma home? She's expecting us."
Her frown dropped as she smiled widely at him. "Yes Mister Rich, come right in. It's a pleasant surprise to see you today, on Saturday. I was especially not expecting this visit and you brought a guest with you."
She blocked me from entering with her arm as soon as Mr Richardson was far from us. "You!"
"I don't know where this anger is coming from and why it's directed at me this fine morning, Poppy."
"Don't call me that. What are you doing here? Did they send you here hm? You told your little friends about me, didn't you?" She looked behind me to survey the area, "Are they hiding somewhere?"
Now it was my turn to frown and be offended. "Are you okay? Why would I bring them here with Mr Richardson with me?"
"I...I am just making sure..."
"You don't trust me, that is to be expected," I said coldly. "I'm reconsidering this friendship request, Penelope. After all I've gone years without one, I don't need pity ones from you. That's what this is right?"
She looked guilty. Good. "You don't understand-"
"I understand perfectly," I said firmly, "You see a new boy who's mysterious, smoking and hanging out with the notorious "bad boys" of the town. You can't even mask your judgemental face well. You think I need some kind of help? Is that why you forced yourself to spend time with me yesterday?"
She rolled her eyes, "Of course not. Yesterday and today are two completely different cases. Today, I am looking out for myself and peace of mind."
"We should go inside before they wonder where we are," I said.
"Why are you turning this on me? I haven't even known you for a day and I'm having a headache."
I don't expect her to understand. In my eyes she had pity on me and decided to befriend me yesterday. I can't believe I was ever excited about it. I invited myself in, leaving her to feel bad about herself.
"Daniel!" She called after me.
"Daniel," Mr Richardson said when he noticed me coming in, "This is exciting news, you have been hired. Say hello to Mrs Bessy."
I smiled, "Hello ma'am." She's a short, chubby woman and probably in her fifties. Her leg was swollen and she held a walking stick by her side. She smiled warmly at me, the kind you only get from old people.
"Hello Daniel, it's wonderful to meet such a handsome young man."
I blushed.
"And Penny, why are you just standing there? Go fetch our guests something to drink."
"Nonna," she groaned, glaring at me from the corner of her eyes. I could tell that she wouldn't be at peace unless she spoke to me about our little argument so everything would be okay.
"Penelope I'm afraid I'm too old to be arguing with you every second."
"You're not old, just weak Nonna. Fifty seven is better than ninety," she mumbled.
"It's alright Mrs Bessy, I'll just be leaving now. I'll come by around eight pm to collect Daniel."
"Nonsense, you must stay and have a drink. How does tea sound?" She turned to Penelope, "Take Daniel with you, show him around the kitchen."
She was about to complain but a quick glare from Bessy shut her up. She marched away grumbling to herself. I followed quickly behind her. "I can't believe this! I can't believe this!" Penelope grabbed the kettle harshly, filling it with water, "We don't need any help. I'm enough for the both of us as I've always been."
"You better get used to me being around here," I said. "For now at least." The deal I made with Mr Richardson flashed in my mind.
I've got only a month with him. Six days gone, twenty four more to go.