I tossed and turned in bed not being able to find my niche and go to sleep. Nothing is working.
"Ava baby go to bed." Nicholas said to me groggily as he turned his back to me.
I bit my lip trying to be quieter knowing he had gotten in from surgery an hour ago.
"Baby." I called to Nicholas.
"Baby wake up." I said climbing on top of him.
He's slept for three hours and I need sleep too but the babies are kicking hard.
"Baby no." He whined.
"Nicky I want to tell you about my day!" I said to him.
"Dolce I love you, I love you so much but I just want to sleep." He sighed.
I pouted. "Fine then. I'm calling Mama." I said.
"Okay." He said turning around.
I pouted more and I climbed off of him turning on the lamp.
"Baby!" I said.
"Yes Nicole?" He asked.
"Christiano the kids are moving. You always touch my belly and talk to them when the kids act up." I pouted.
"Okay okay." He said and sat up in bed putting his glasses on.
"Take them off." I said.
"I can barely see without them when I wake babe." He told me.
"They make me horny." I confessed.
He laughed. "Babe everything makes you horny."
I pouted. "I know."
"Come lay." He said patting the side of him.
"What's on your mind babe really?" He asked me as I sat in between his legs.
"Nothing." I said and began playing with his pants draw string.
"Unh uh. Baby really what's on your mind? The babies only kick this hard when it's something wrong or when I touch your belly. What's wrong." He said looking at my belly.
I pouted. "Baby I sad." I admitted.
"Why you sad dolce?" He asked kissing my cheek.
"I'm thinking about the thing with my mother and sister." I rolled my eyes.
"The little baby meet?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said quietly.
"Babes just go. Y'all have to work it out." He said.
"Well duh I know that but still. You invite me to meet the babies little meet and greet thing but not to talk about what happened? Her and my momma." I said
"Coco don't worry okay? It's nothing we can do about it but do our part baby." He said and I smiled.
I love this new nick name. He said Coco because of my chocolate skin tone, my middle name being Nicole and for something else that made me blush every time just thinking about it.
"You're right babes. I just wish it wasn't like this. I feel like I'm losing my family." I said.
"You're not losing me, and you're not losing the girls or Mama and Papa." He reminded and I nodded.
"You're right babe." I said lacing our fingers together.
"And you're not losing Luca. He adores you to much." He laughed.
"He adores my belly to much. He's always touching it and talking to the girls." I shook my head.
Although it's been a month since I saw my sister and mother, I have seen my father and have gotten closer to the Arrigucci's. They said that Jonathan has stayed away to simply work on being a father of two now and I understand that. It seems like my mother, Aniya, Jonathan and the girls are on their own little island.
I mean sure I get it, when you have a new baby you want to bond but that doesn't mean loose contact with everyone you know and shut them out.
"Babes. Go to sleep. We are going to meet the new baby and you know you got to get all your beauty rest." he said.
"I'm beautiful with or without sleep." I said rolling my neck with a smirk.
"You're cute but the attitude. Not even close." He said shaking his head and I laughed hitting his head.
"Aye! You see?" He asked and I laughed before turning to the side in his legs and going to bed.
I think going to my mother and my sisters welcoming is not a good idea and even the thought of it alone just makes my blood pressure higher.
But at this point, there is really nothing I can do but try my best to be a good daughter and sister by going.
"Babe!" Nicholas called out to me as I slowly put on a coat of lip gloss in the mirror
"Yes?" I said.
"Bring your ass now!" He said.
I rolled my eyes. I'm going to slap the shit out of him.
"Don't talk to me like that." I said coming out of the bathroom applying mascara.
I had done all of this before but I really don't want to go.
"Baby I get your frustrations with them but you're all being childish! Let's go to the damn thing so we can see the baby and be on our ways. The kids have nothing to do with you , your sister and mother's little dispute." He said.
"Fine! Zip my dress." I rolled my eyes and turned to him.
I had put on what Nicholas decided on me wearing. I really didn't and don't want to go but hubby is really dragging me to this place. He's finally sick of me complaining about missing them and being immature.
"Let's go babe." He said and I sighed slowly walking towards the door of my bedroom.
I finally got into the truck and Nicholas angrily buckled my seat belt for me.
"You're acting like un bambino Ava." He told me shaking his head and pulling off.
I didn't say anything, too nervous to think about what to say. It is so hard being speechless but that's what I am. Not knowing what's gonna happen bothers me. Especially when I always know what's going to happen and what's going on.
This feeling sucks and it's definitely one of those things that you never, ever want to feel in life. Like you're in ways neglected and don't know what to do or say next.
I love my sister and my mother I just feel neglected. I feel like my sister and mothers relationship is obviously stronger than my mother and I's. Not that I'm trying to be unfair or selfish or anything but dang, it's hard to deal with not having a close relationship with people you lived in a house with and cared so much about.
I know she just had a baby, and I know she has a lot going on but so do I. I am busy, I have my own business and I'm still trying hard to do everything myself. I don't want to come off selfish, or like I'm only thinking about myself but Nicholas works and granny rose isn't always the best person in the world to talk to so, not having my confidants make me feel so alone.
It's like losing your best friends or Not being close to them anymore. It's so hard to deal with, you have to make new friends and adjust and then, when you see them you feel so distant. That's exactly how I feel, like they are distant strangers and I hate to feel that way, I absolutely do but what other way can I feel when this is all that's being shown to me.
I'm trying not to be selfish, but when you're hurt you're hurt. It's something that we have to talk about hands down if we want to every obtain the relationship we once had with one another.
We need to all sit down and come to terms with all that's been going on and hopefully an agreement on how to make things better and what not to do in the future because Nic is right, We need to get it together for our daughters and our husbands too.
I never want to drive a wedge in between them knowing how close they always were. They are family even still if we aren't talking to each other and it needs to be said and understood that we mean no harm, but we are hurt.
"We almost there baby." Nicholas said.
I looked up from my dress and up to his face smiling. "Okay." I said.
He looked down at me briefly before grabbing my hand holding it tightly and kissing it.
I smiled and leaned over kissing his cheek.
"Everything is gonna be fine." He told me as we stopped and he got out to come open my door.
I sighed and suddenly felt nervous. Looking down at my dress, I noticed how cute it is and how cute I look. Nicholas did good picking out my all white one shoulder boat neck maxi dress with rose gold jewelry and a nude flats.
"Come on baby." Nicholas said and I got out of the truck with him holding my hand.
It's so pretty outside today. Not to hot and not to cold.
I looked up at the venue. It has this castle type look on the outside, but it's very home like on the inside.
I don't understand why she would have it here when it's supposed to be an intimate event, or so she told me.
We walked into the venue, and were directed to go ahead until we saw the big ballroom.
Once we got to it, we opened the door and people began to jump out from everywhere screaming surprise.
I gasped happily shocked that someone did this for me.
"Oh my goodness!" I said looking around out the decor
"Did you know about this!" I asked Nicholas and he shook his head.
"I didn't bae." He said still holding onto my hand.
"Surprise Ava." My mother said and hugged me.
The hug she gave me evoked tears from my eyes. It felt so good and warm and familiar.
God knows I loved having Mama A and hanging out with her but I truly, truly missed my mother. Mama A didn't have me, so she couldn't reach me and tell me about how bothersome I was nor could she show me old clothes that she loved for me to wear so it was no way, she could take the place of my mother.
"Don't cry." My mother said rubbing my back.
"Thank you." I said.
"It wasn't just me. It was your father and your sister too." She said and I nodded.
"Ava let me take you away for a few seconds." She said and I nodded following her out on the balcony and closing the doors Behind us.
"Well Ava first let me say, I apologize." She said. "I apologize because I never knew how much I hurt you. I always assumed you were fine and I should have done that. My first instinct was to help Aniya because she had so many complications and you baby are so strong always one for handling things alone and I should have been there for you and I wasn't. I should have been a better mother, and split my time up equally amongst the two of you. I promise for the rest of this pregnancy and for all the others, I will be there helping you, and catering to you if you'll have me." She said and I nodded.
"Of course I will. I just felt so upset with the whole situation." I said and she handed me a tissue to dab my tears away.
"I know and tomorrow over brunch we will talk some more. I just wanted to clear the air a bit before we started your shower." She said and I nodded.
"Thank you." I said and we went back inside.
When I came inside Nicholas was standing at the balcony doors he smiled and kissed me
"Good Job baby." He said and I pecked his lips again before we were whisked away to enjoy the rest of our shower.
A/N
Hey y'all! So it says I posted a chapter 68 already and I did but I took it down so this is Chapter 68 shout out to @kyamichelle for guessing correct!
40 comments for next update.