Theo was unsure of how Maddie would react to him being a death eater. She disliked Voldemort, hated him in fact, but she loved Theo.
He did not know if this could be considered a deception. He did not wish to deceive Maddie, he had only ever lied to her once in all the time he had known her, and that was in his third year. However he had apologized within the instant. Since then he had been a perfect saint.
Theo had earned a near-perfect score on his practice exam for the healing training program at St Mungos. Madam Pomfrey had been very proud of him.
He had read and reread her letter of recommendation for Any healing program of his choosing about a thousand times. He intended to read it aloud at his Grandmother's grave.
He mounted the steps to the owlery. His father had written to him recently, about the possibility of taking Draco's seat in the inner circle. Theo did not wish to. He reread the letter he had penned to his father,
It was simple, only a page long, and put in simple terms his reluctance to join the inner circle by anything other than his own merit. Theo knew better than to refuse his father anything outright in fear he may decide to come to Hogwarts and steal his time away from more important matters.
Blaise was adamant about winning the Quidditch cup, Theo needed to practice. Maddie was too fond of hearts to not be enamored with Valentine's Day, Theo needed to think of gifts. There had been a recent outbreak of firepox among the first years and Theo was the only infirmary volunteer inoculated against them, Madam Pomfrey would require his aid.
"Theo,"
Celestia,
Theo nodded in acknowledgement as he passed her, eager to put as much distance between them as possible, he felt his throat may swell shut if she uttered another word to him,
"My mother owled me about you," Celestia said, Theo paused five steps above her and turned to face her.
Celestia was very beautiful. He did not like her very much. She- Theo regulated his breathing, the last time he had seen her had been one of the worst of his life.
"You know we never really broke up," Celestia said, "I just sort of stopped mentioning you in letters, and she was wondering if-"
"I would prefer not to see you," Theo said simply, his words entering the conversation at an improper time were poorly rehearsed,
"Because of Noceda?"
Theo did not nod. He did not shake his head.
"You violated me," Theo said,
Celestia's cheeks began to flush pink and she shook her head indignantly, "That was, that was- I mean how was I meant to react, Theo? Have you ever looked at it? It's a bit of a shock- I mean is it some strange skin condition, or, or-"
Theo turned away from her and continued up the steps to the owlry, Celestia followed after him, he ignored the sound of her footsteps behind him, he wished she would leave him alone,
"Theo, come off it, we can talk this through- I mean Noceda is pretty, sure, and I've heard her sing, but she's the for now girl, you know your family will never- And I mean, I just wanted to surprise you, it was meant to be nice, a, a nice surprise,"
Celestia had seen his scars and screamed in terror. It had taken Theo weeks before he even managed to look at himself with anything other than shame.
"And, and then you just- poof gone, not even an explanation," Celestia continued,
Theo found his owl quickly, resisting the urge to jump from the owlery to avoid this conversation,
He took the box containing Maddie's ring and tucked it in his pocket before Celestia could see it.
"And then suddenly you're like this perfect man for Noceda? It's just a little bit strange and prickish, and, and- you made me think something was wrong with me how you never wanted to do more than kiss, and then I get the courage to actually put something into action and you vanish on me just because- fine maybe I had a bit of a reaction to your deformity,"
Theo looked at the drop from the owlery, he did not know if it would render him dead or deformed. His grandmother would be cross if he joined her so soon.
"Celestia." He said to silence her, "Stop. This is cruel. I would like to never see you again."
"Because of Noceda?"
"You made, make, me feel vile," Theo said,
Could he summon his broom from here?
"I-" Celestia started, her hair tied back and braided into a low bun, golden curls framing her face, she pressed her lips together, at a loss, "I need- you do not understand, this is going to ruin me, I have one role in this life to fulfil- mother will be cross with me, and, and- it is all rotten, and awful, I was- I need to marry- and Merlin I graduate this year,"
Theo sealed his letter magically and gave it to his owl, Hermes, Hermes was fond of Celestia, pausing to allow her to pet him before flying off,
"I do not think I could force myself into the same room with you let alone a marriage."
A stale silence passed between them. Celestia's mouth opened and shut several times as she attempted to find the words to fill it.
"If you need a reason to provide your mother with I suggest proclaiming I find myself impotent when you are near it is no lie."
Celestia sniffled, Theo refused to look at her, he wanted to leave but Celestia was blocking the one reasonable exit,
"I will owl your father and tell him about Noceda." Celestia said, the air stilled, her threat was quiet but remorseless, "he cannot be pleased you chose her of all people. I assume he does not know."
"Do you loathe me so entirely?" Theo asked her,
"No, of course not-"
"You realize he would kill her," Theo said, Celestia quieted, "He would kill her and make me watch."
Celestia wore brown mascara and her nails were painted dark red. She was not a good person by any means but not rotten,
"He wouldn't- he wouldn't kill her,"
Theo turned to face her, he was not lying,
"If you breathe a word of my relationship with Noceda to him- her death is on your conscious,"
"Conscience you mean,"
Embarrassment ate at him,
Celestia's right brow quirked as she thought, she put her gloves on. They were dark purple.
Theo could see the middle aged woman Celestia would one day become. Her skin would be tightened magically, her time taken to finding suitable matches for her children, she would wear cold silks and bathe in rose water,
"Sounds more like it's on yours."
Theo was well aware of it, however he had attempted to distance himself and failed dramatically. He now found himself in love with Maddie. A frenzied feeling of fear filling him at the prospect of her demise.
He was sixteen. He would be seventeen shortly. So would she.
"Find me a replacement."
"Crabbe."
"A better replacement,"
"Goyle."
"I said better,"
"He is taller,"
"Crabbe is the taller one."
"He is?"
"Yes."
"Crabbe then," Theo said, "You would make a lovely couple."
"Theo this is my future,"
The sky darkened in time with Theo's thoughts, he looked Celestia in the eye for the first time in months,
"Celestia," he felt his voice grate against his throat, "if you do anything which places Noceda in peril I will do everything in my power to tarnish what little you have left of a life." He sounded like his father,
Celestia's eyes were wide in fear,
"Crabbe is a fine option for you." Was the last thing Theo said before leaving the owlry.
He now found himself in an incredibly rotten mood. Theo did not like being threatened with Maddie's death. He would do anything in his power to prevent it.
Including gifting her a ring to enact the sacred bonds of courtship which would in time protect her from his family. The thought of anyone attempting to take her from him-
Theo continued on his path to the school, careful not to bump into a set of first years who were not watching where they were going.
Theo entered the school greeted by sweet warmth as the door shut behind him.
Theodore Nott did understand how to ask for affection when he wanted it. He had never wanted it in this capacity before.
Maddie was sitting next to him in the hall of landscape paintings. Maddie was a creature of habit. He very often found her here.
She was reading a magazine, the images did not move and Theo had difficulty understanding where the appeal came from.
They sat on a large windowsill. Maddie was holding a pen, circling her results for some strange Muggle quiz. There were many quizzes in her magazines. Being in the Muggle world must require lots of studying. She shut the magazine, eyes lifting to the painting across from them.
It was her favourite in the castle. Maddie looked at art In a manner which more than enjoyment. She consumed art. Admiration driving her to devour each detail and stroke of the brush.
Theo liked to watch her eyes when she looked at paintings, occasionally Theo caught her admiring him the same way.
Theo wanted her to- Merlin help him, Theo wanted to tell her everything about him. Every mundane detail of his day, every thought, and ask after hers.
Theo reached for her hand,
"I saw Celestia yesterday," Theo said,
The speed at which Maddie's attention snapped to him was nearly comical.
"She's not very kind." Theo informed her, Maddie moved closer to him, she released his hand so he could sign to her,
She threatened to tell my father about you, Theo signed, a crinkle formed between Maddie's brows, He could, Theo could not bring himself to sign it, he could take you away from me, from your life, I put you at risk by loving you. C E L E S T I A knows this,
Theo reached forward and smoothed the crinkle between Maddie's brows, fingertips lingering on her cheek a moment longer than necessary.
My father is a terror, signed Theo, You will never meet him if I can help it. He is quite old. You may never have to.
He made you. He cannot be all bad.
Yes he fucking can. Theo signed,
"Did you just-"
"Della, my father is a monster."
A look of fear crossed Theo's features. She had never seen him afraid before. His self assured air crumbled as he looked at her. Maddie had wanted this, wanted him, wanted love for so long he could not bare to see her punished for it. Theo had never anticipated experiencing the ease of love Maddie brought him.
He had thought love would be a minefield he would venture into out of desperation to feel something.
An instinct to protect her outweighed his desire to possess her. It had not wavered in all the years he had known her merely building into a resolute determination to create a world in which Madelena Noceda would have all she wanted. She was not simply his. Maddie was gold. Pink and gold. Soft and eternal. Theo would be damned if her right to eternity was taken by anything.
"Lo siento." She whispered,
I have not been sleeping since. I- Theo started signing again, I understand her motivations. They are not wicked. But C has been so cruel. She- she- I could not look at her anymore after she- she-
Maddie put her hands on his, he did not know if he could speak it or sign it. He worried he would only ever be able to sob it, cry it, or scream about how the first person to see him bare had recoiled in disgust or horror.
"You do not have to tell me." Maddie said, "if it will not make you feel better," she held his hand in both of hers. Theo shut his eyes and leant against the window pain,
"It did not end well," he muttered, he liked it when Maddie held his hand in both of hers. It was raining outside. The patter of the rain irritated him. He removed his pin and the world fell silent.
He extended the pin for Maddie to take. She hooked it around the chain of her necklace. The silver snake hung next to the golden heart locket.
Maddie's nails were painted pale pink. She wore six golden rings and her charm bracelet dangled around her wrist.
Theo could see Transfiguration formulas peeking from beneath the sleeves of her soft sage green jumper.
Theo wanted affection. He did not know how to request it. Maddie's eyes flickered to his. He lifted his arm instead of extending his hand. She moved closer to him, she rested her head on his shoulder as his arm settled around her.
His eyes shut. The world was empty, silent, and home only to he and Maddie.
Celestia Selwyn had food poisoning the following day.
"I am innocent of any accusation against me," Maddie said, scoffing as she shelved a book in the library with extra gusto,
Theo hummed in acknowledgement, he watched her. She reached for another book, he recognized it and its home was on a shelf higher than one she could reach, he took it from her and shelved it,
Maddie was volunteering in the library as her clever alibi. Carlos was her witness, he seldom broke during interrogation and had assumed Theo already knew.
"And poisoning has such negative connotations, she's not even sick enough for the infirmary," She continued,
"So thoughtful of you, darling,"
"and, and, It's not like you've never poisoned anyone, there's no halo around your head,"
"You must have stolen it from me," Theo said, her cheeks were hot, her hair pinned back with a golden clip it was a little bird, "sorry- liberated it." Maddie glared at him, "stole has such negative connotations to it, you see,"
She could see his dimples.
Theo leaned against bookcase, holding the fabric of her robe, sustaining the visual link between them as her hands were preoccupied with returning books to their shelves to hold his.
He chuckled. The sound of sheer amusement escaped him before he had a chance to trap it.
He could hardly believe it,
"I never thought I'd see the day Madelena Noceda poisoned someone for me,"
"It was barely poisoning," Maddie said in a huff,
"So it was a little poisoning?"
Celestia had done something to Theo. Maddie did not know what. Only that it had hurt him.
Theo's devotion to her justified itself a million times over. His eyes kept flickering to her. Maddie loved him.
She was near enough to take her hand, he did so.
Her nails were painted dark green. Carlos had written a note on her arm reminding her to send their abuelita- Theo assumed their other grandmother- a Birthday card and to sign his name.
She had replaced the buttons of the white collared shirt of her uniform with ecclectic little buttons of varying colours but all detailed in gold.
"I fancy you," He murmured, a rare flash of unabashed delight crossing his features. Theo fixed the collar of her shirt and recentered her necklace.
Maddie had protected him. She had cared someone had hurt him.
The Goyle incident of fourth year as the source of the great divide between Theo's opinions of Draco and Blaise.
Goyle had made a farce of Theo's grandmother's death.
Theo had returned to the common room with tear stained cheeks and a blank expression. The half-witted oaf had torn into an already opened wound.
Draco had not held any of it against Goyle. Stating, 'well he's never done anything to me, so-'
Theo did not like those sorts of people.
A friend to all was a friend to none.
"Hypothetically if I had poisoned her," Maddie said, Theo hummed. He smiled suddenly, grinning before schooling his features, "Hypothetically." He nodded,
"Hypothetically," He repeated slowly,
"Why are you so, so, contento por eso? Is a crime, you should be-"
"Perhaps my self-restraint has snapped and you are witnessing my true reaction to your beauty," Theo said, pulling her into him, his arm looping around her waist holding her flush against him.
"Is poisoning like your love language?" Maddie asked,
Theo shook his head, he pulled away from her,
You care about my feelings
"Do you see this?" Maddie asked, she indicated a bar with her hands, miming the action to Theo's utter delight, "This is your standards, would you like to know where they are?"
In a box? Theo asked, wondering if this was an elaborate humorous mime quip,
"Hell." Maddie said, "Infierno. With the demonios, and the monsters, and el abismo of despair, and the, the, dinosaurs- the mean ones with the little arms which are very stupid, and the Conquistadors- bare minimum Teodore,"
"It is the bare minimum?" Theo asked, Maddie nodded, "So you will poison all my enemies?"
"I never said-"
"This is so helpful," Theo said,
"What if I did not even poison-"
"This frees up next week entirely,"
"How do you know it was me-"
It had been Maddie.
"I can have a list to you by Monday. I warn you it may be a little time intensive- but- I am trying to raise my standards."
Maddie glared at him.
He beamed at her.
It was a strange role reversal.
"I am not sure if you know this, darling, but allegedly they are in hell,"
"Do I look too much like Mamí in this photo?" Maddie asked as she and Carlos assembled their other grandmother's birthday present in the Hufflepuff common room,
Carlos held the picture of Maddie and their mother side by side,
"I think is a lose lose," Carlos muttered, "I saw we send her nothing,"
"You want to kill abuelita? Wow, Carlos, Britain has changed you," Maddie said, Carlos rolled his eyes,
"Either way we get a howler from abuelito for making her cry. You look too much like mamí? Is too painful for her, too little? Her preciosa baby is fading from this Earth all because you wear your hair differently," Carlos said, he slumped onto the table, "Hopeless. Despair, treachery,"
Maddie had not seen her other grandmother, Dulcinea, since her Quinces. They had to come so Maddie could dance with her grandfather. Carlos had wanted to- jealous he did not get a party like this. But he had been overrulled by grandparents. Abuelita made her wear her mother's dress, and had burst into tears the moment she saw her.
Maddie looked like her mother until she opened her eyes.
Dulcinea Flores had not come to the party. Her husband remained with her to comfort her.
Carlos danced with her instead.
Maddie cut her hair short the following day. Her mother had never had short hair. It had only made it worse. Carlos had been outraged. Volatile and Penelope had torn into Dulcinea with a ferocity she only reserved for the stage. Maddie had spent the remainder of the summer with Aleksander Becskei. She had needed someone. He had been there.
"What if we send her... oh we could send her two of me but I wear a wig in one of them. Everyone has a laugh," Carlos suggested,
"We tried that last year, She will ask for another one with me," Maddie muttered, "Maybe a different wig," Maddie suggested, "Oohh, maybe I died,"
"So you want to kill abuelita and were projecting onto me, I see now," Carlos said, "I see,"
Maddie thwapped him and picked up another photo, put it with Carlos' shoved it in the letter and sealed it,
"Done."
"I am not going to open the howley leter, Lena," Carlos said, "Make Nott do it, will all be in Spanish anyways, he won't understand and it will be perfect,"
Maddie nodded idly,
"He is trying to learn,"
"Really?" Asked Carlos, in Spanish, Maddie nodded,
"His accent is horrible, but it is cute to see him try at something," Maddie said, she smiled and looked down, Carlos mimed throwing up, "You are just jealous,"
"Me?"
"Yes,"
"Why would I be jealous of you with your boyfriend who never experesses his-"
"Can you be a littttle quietter," Whispered a third year Hufflepuff, turning to them,
"Ingleesh no good," Carlos replied before turning back to Maddie and placing a gentle silencing charm on them, "I saw Henrietta with Ernie yesterday,"
"But didn't she just get back together with-" Carlos nodded, "But what about Wood?"
"I think she is getting plenty of that, Lena,"
They broke into snickers, Carlos' pet snake Sylvie curled herself up on the letter for their grandmother. Maddie now could not go anywhere near the letter under threat of imminent death from that wretched snake she was convinced was praying on her downfall,
"Did you hear about Finnigan's mum and el Dragon Weasley?" Maddie asked leaning away from the table to put distance between herself and the snake, she elaborated on the entirety of the sordid tale, "Do you think you would become a ghost,"
"Only if you also promised to be a ghost," Carlos replied, holding Sylvie, "I think we could have fun, yes? We could haunt el chucky cheese in America, rig all the games,"
"You are thinking so small," Maddie said, "I want to haunt the minister,"
"He's got enough demons, Lena, and besides you don't like snakes enough to be around politicians all the time," Carlos said,
Carlos' was the only voice in the entire world Which did not cloud Maddie's vision with a colour. It came through crystal clear.
"Do you know if the Potter is okay?" Carlos asked, Maddie shook her head,
She should check,
"Potter," Said Maddie, he looked up from his potion's textbook. Maddie was very rarely spotted in the Gryffindor common room. She was holding her newly recussitated plant and very specific instructions from Neville on how to care for it, "Why are you awake?"
It was past curfew. Maddie was exceptional at illusion charms. She rarely worried about getting caught.
"Why are you awake?" He asked, his face was stoic and there were circles beneath his eyes, his textbook was opened before him, messy cursive infested the margins, there was a map on the table.
"Neville fixed my plant,"
Harry nodded, eyes moving back to the map, footprints moved, it caught Maddie's eye,
Maddie set her plant down on another table and stood next to Potter to examine the map, it was too intriguing to ask for permission, she unfolded a piece and it revealed more of the school, another set of foot prints wandering around,
"Does this show-" Maddie started, unfolding another piece of the map, Harry was too tired to stop her, "Oh Potter this is marvellous,"
"Is it? Is it really? Because, I'm not sure if you know this Noceda but Hogwarts is a big ass school, and, and there is no way to say accio this person's location and find it easily, not to mention- the fuckers move on the map so even if you heve already checked somewhere? Guess what? Check again because they might have wandered on in,"
"Who are you looking for?" Maddie asked, she looked at him, he removed his glasses and ran a hand over his face, the trials of being the chosen one,
"Malfoy."
"Malfoy?"
Harry nodded.
"Your Slytherin is easy to find," Harry said, "I feel like he is everywhere. Doing scary Slytherin things. Look- look even now-" Harry pointed to where Theo was wandering towards the owlry, "Every Wednesday he does this, you really need to crack down on this, Noceda, because I cannot take it anymore. His habits are absolutely infuriating."
"You can see everyone all of the time?" Whispered Maddie, she shifted on her feet,
"Except for Malfoy apparently. I swear- it's like when I lose my fucking glasses. I am frustrated, confused, with blurred vision, and the impulse to kill myself and name check him in the suicide note,"
"I thought only the you know who could kill you? Sí?" Maddie asked, "You can't kill you- I think you are wasting an opportunity,"
"Noceda. I am on three hours of sleep. And you are currently suggesting that the prophecy- the plague on my existence- is an opportunity?"
"If it is true than nothing other than big bad man with no nose can kill you. There are lots of dangerous things you can do with no fear now." Maddie said,
"Fear." Whispered Harry thoughtfully, he thought of Maddie's scary Slytherin boyfriend who could likely be able to extract any information he wanted from anyone. "Maddie, would Nott know where Malfoy goes?"
Maddie shrugged. Theo had been frustrated with Draco recently. Occasionally as he signed about his day he would refer to Draco as the insult to ferret kind.
Theo claimed he signed his entire day to her, an insist she do the same to aid in her fluency. Theo looked forward to it all day. So did Maddie.
"Maybe." Maddie said, looking at his footprints as he sent his letter in the owlry, he had never told her about this habit, but then Theo had lots of habits.
"Could you ask-"
Maddie's eyes caught on something else. Carlos.
Carlos was in a classroom. Past curfew. Ernie Macmillan stood just outside likely to keep watch as Carlos did whatever it was he was doing with Susan Bones.
"Oh my eyes," Whispered Maddie, "Oh this is a wicked thing, Potter," She said, turning away from it trying not to vomit at the map induced mental image, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,"
Harry covered that but of the map with his potions textbook,
"Stay focused Noceda-"
"Oh mierda, Potter, what a wicked, wicked thing," Maddie whispered, sinking to the floor sitting just beside him,
"They could be playing cards, Mads, do not be overdramatic,"
"I am going to throw myself from cliff. Como real Britannico. Partake in the culture. They finally did it, finally colonized me, I hope Carlos is happy," Maddie said, covering her eyes,
Ernie haad been such a pest, proudly patting Carlos on the back yesterday. Carlos had informed Maddie of his romantic ventures but to see the proof-
Maddie's hands slid down her face as she looked up at Potter,
"Maddie could you ask Nott where Malfoy's been disappearing to?"
"After therapy. Maybe."
"No. Preferrably tomorrow," Harry said, "Please?"
"You want a favour from him and you want to disrupt his routine?" Maddie asked, "Good luck, Potter-"
"You disrupt his routine plenty, Noceda, what makes you think I couldn't?"
"You don't kiss him like I do," Maddie replied, batting her eyelashes in an immitation of Lavender Brown, she started to standup, "This is about the death eatering?"
Harry nodded,
"Is sensitive subject in Slytherin house." Maddie said, "Is difficult to be asked to go to war with the people who raise you,"
"I would." Harry replied, "Anyone would. I don't know why you're defending them,"
"No, no-"
"You've always been on my side, Noceda, and I think you know neutrality is bullshit. Especially now." Harry said, there were circles under his eyes. He had not been sleeping. He had been watching for Malfoy on that map, Maddie sat down next to him, "Especially fucking now,"
Maddie had truly spectacular dark brown eyes.
"Noceda, I mean, you're with him with him," Harry said, "Don't you think you could at least ask him?"
Theodore Nott was seldom envious of others. They rarely had what he wanted or threatened to take what was his. Maddie was in the Quidditch stands watching his match. Potter was next to her.
Theo willed Draco to catch the snitch, sending a bludger towards the Hufflepuff keeper,
Maddie was laughing at something Potter had said, Theo's scarf was around her neck and she was laughing at Potter,
The match continued for forty more agonizing minutes of inane gameplay. The stands begun to clear. Maddie was waiting for him in her seat. Potter remained. He was sitting next to her.
Theo landed on the Quidditch stand Maddie's attention shifted to him.
"Nott." Addressed Harry,
"Potter," Theo said,
"I wanted to speak with you," Harry said,
"What a shame,"
"Why is it a shame?"
"My schedule does not allow for irrelevant conversation for another two months." Theo said, tempted to pick Maddie up and fly away with her on his broom, he disliked interruptions in his routine,
"This is far from irrelevant," Harry insisted, "And I figured you wouldn't murder me in front of Noceda,"
"Maddie, darling, turn around,"
"Theo," Maddie said,
Theo exhaled and gave his attention to Potter, if Maddie asked Theo would never refuse.
"Where does Draco go?"
"Go?"
Harry nodded,
"The lavatory. I assume. I hope. Why? Do you have reason to believe he relieves himself elsewhere?" Theo asked, his eyes flickered to Maddie,
She was fighting a smile, he arched an eyebrow knowing her battle would become a losing one, Maddie had to look away and cover her smile with her hand,
"No, I mean- I- I overheard Snape and Draco just before the winter break, I know he's performing a task for Voldemort,"
"Snape or Draco?"
"Potentially both,"
"You believe professor Snape, who is one of Dumbledore's most trusted professors is a death eater-"
"Yes." His answer was resolute. "I assume you are not. Because," Harry's eyes flickered to Maddie,
"If Draco is a death eater do you truly believe it is because he wants to be?" Asked Theo, the chosen one hesitated before nodding, "If Draco was chosen to be a death eater it is in consequence to his father's failure. He was chosen to fail. He was chosen to die. Malfoy cannot leave his family. He is the only heir and has parents worth protecting."
Harry rolled his eyes, Theo felt Maddie was looking through him, her eyes narrowed slightly and completely focused,
Theo was a death eater. Theo had yet to decide whether she needed to know. Perhaps he ought to ask her. He would ask her he decided.
"I do not know where Draco goes. I do know no one in this school wishes to be a death eater. It is a life sentence. One you should not shorten by acting irrationally and getting Draco killed. If your theory had any substance to it, Granger would be here. Or at the very least Weasley."
Harry looked at Maddie,
"Do not look at her," Theo said, irritation pricking at his sides. He did not like it when other people had the privilege of looking at Maddie in moments which were only meant to belong to him. Theo was still in his uniform, and he was taller than Harry was.
"I don't know why you're with him, Maddie," Harry muttered, Theo sat down next to her on the bench, her nails were painted pink, Harry stood up, "I mean-"
Theo stopped listening to Harry.
Maddie was wearing his scarf, Muggle jeans with hearts on the arse where pockets ought to be, a sage green jumper and a golden locket around her neck, her boots were the same pink as the hearts on her arse, there were sparkly studded flowers pinned in her French braids,
Theo spotted one which had fallen onto the stands and retrieved it for her, turning her hand over and placing it on her palm. Maddie was wearing a golden Pisces ring with two delicately engraved fish,
Harry left, saying something to Maddie about missing a poker night,
Maddie wore eyeliner and lipgloss.
Theo kissed her the instant she turned towards him. Her lipgloss was strawberry, his hand was soft on the side of her cheek,
There would be a party tonight in Slytherin. Maddie would be there. Theo's dorm would be one staircase away.
"A bludger hit you," Maddie said, pulling away from him, looking at his shoulder,
"I am fine," Theo said, Maddie touched his shoulder, it ached, "I am potentially not fine," he said simply, not wishing to lie to her, "I am sorry if I was harsh with Potter. I know he is your friend."
Theo had been trying to be kinder to Maddie's friends. He knew his disposition was cold. He did not like that they thought him callous and cruel, and did not like putting Maddie in the position of his defender.
"My father asked me to take the mark."
"Your father?" Maddie whispered, Theo nodded,
"He does not understand me." Theo said,
"I think you would need a degree to understand you," Maddie muttered,
"A degree? As in temperature?"
Maddie shook her head, her eyes flickered down, "Muggle uni, you go after secondary school, get a degree in anything you want, spend four years studying- write a thesis or two, try to become an expert."
"You think it would only take four years to understand me?" Asked Theo as though he were insulted,
"Of dedicated study, maybe, and then get a masters- another degree, and then a doctorate- another become Doctor Madelena Noceda, expert in the field of Theodore Nott," Maddie said, she touched his hair, the wind had tousled it,
Maddie knew how Theo liked to wear his hair, she knew how she liked his hair, she hesitated before he nodded and allowed her to mess it up. The way she liked,
"Muggle uni?"
"University. Or college." Maddie said, "You would love it."
"I would love it?"
Maddie nodded, "Abuelita wants Carlos and I to attend, she's been up Abuela's culo about it- the universities, they have whole entire courses on your favourite books,"
"You can study anything you would like at these educational institutions?" Maddie nodded, "You will study fine arts,"
Maddie shook her head, Theo put his hands on her cheeks and had her nod instead,
"I have decided you will." Theo said,
"They don't let just anyone in." Maddie said scoffing,
"I should hope not. You ought to have distinguished company," Theo said, her eyes caught on his in a flash of uncertain vulnerability before a glare masked it,
I do not cast my faith blindly signed Theo,
Teddy, I love you Maddie signed to him, she did not think Theo comprehended how ecstatic she was to be his.
Theodore Nott had never been uncertain of anything in his entire life.
He knew he was doomed since he was a born. He knew his freedom would be fought for. He knew he wanted to be good. He knew Madelena Noceda deserved anything and everything she wanted.
Theo knew Maddie was sensational. What they shared was beyond words or reproach. He knew Maddie was a spectacularly gifted artist. He knew she was scared and did not know where to start.
His shoulder ached. He should go to the hospital wing.
"Abuelita," He started, she giggled at his attempt at Spanish, "She is your other grandmother?"
"Sí,"
"She was not at Christmas," Either year, "Is she ill?" Maddie shook her head,
"She lives in Mexico with Abuelito, bit of a commute,"
Theo furrowed his eyebrows as confusion cast itself over his mind. Maddie had moved to England as a child after the death of her parents to live with her paternal grandparents. Theo knew this. He knew she had hardly spoken a word of English. Theo knew Penelope Noceda and her husband had worked in the Ministry Royal Opera House. Theo knew Penelope's husband had passed not soon after Maddie's parents.
"She hated Britain,"
"Why are you here then?"
"Universe sent me here to tell you that you are far more handsome when your hair is messy," Maddie said, "Vamos," Maddie stood and she picked up his broom, "To infirmary, you have pained face,"
"I can carry th-" Theo started, Maddie shook her head no, he fixed his hair.
Maddie would mess it up again, he was certain.
"I wanted to go with you," Theo muttered as he lay in the infirmary bed, Maddie was decorating the bed with Valentines decorations she had been saving since last year,
There had would be a party in Slytherin. Theo's dorm would have been so close.
Theo's shoulder had been more harmed than he had thought it was, Theo's pain tolerance was astonishingly high to his own detriment,
"I'm not going," Maddie said simply, "I'm going to take care of you," she said,
"You do not have-"
She gave him a look. His look. She attempted it. Unsuccessfully. Maddie was pretty in the pink and gold sort of way.
"This is the look I give you?" Theo asked, she nodded, Theo receded into the pillow, "your standards are in hell, darling,"
"Then we are matching," Maddie said, smiling, she messed his hair up again.
"My left arm is alright." He informed her,
"Good,"
He wanted her in the bed. He wanted her warmth and her touch. Theo did not know how to say it so he did not, he lifted the covers,
"Remove your shoes," he said, she obeyed before he pulled her into the bed, the springs squealed a little as she lay next to him, she lay at his side, her head on his chest, his arm wrapped around her, Maddie was warm. Theo could feel her heartbeat against him. He could hear the sound of her breathing,
She had never been so close.
"I should get-" He interrupted her train of thought, moving his other arm, barely noting the pain of it and pulling her leg across him, "Don't move your arm-" she attempted scolding him, he rested his hand on her arse,
Maddie glanced at him,
"Healer's orders," He murmured, she bit the inside if her cheek to keep from smiling. Theo liked making Maddie happy.
Theo had never been particularly fond of physical affection. However, Maddie was safe. Maddie was solace. Nothing bad could happen in the moments she passed in his arms. His heart beat peacefully and he thought he might request this form of intimacy far more frequently.
Sure, Maddie took his hand and touched his hair but it was horribly inconsiderate of her not to lay her head on his chest and exist in the same space as him every evening.
"My grandmother left me her flat in Kensington." Theo informed her, "I am going to reside there this summer. You will adore it,"
Occasionally Theo found it difficult to understand how he had managed to keep himself at bay around Maddie for so long.
"Grandmother purchased it for me. She filled it to the brim with art she stole from muggle museums and books from her travels. Often poetry- but she despised poetry. I think it is painful to witness someone else's passion without one of your own. She never wanted me to feel that way. She was so pleased when I showed her the hankerchief you made me for Christmas."
"You showed her?"
"She was worried I would be alone. I owed her any evidence I could give her I would not be."
Maddie pressed a kiss to his cheek, he shut his eyes. He liked it when Maddie's perfume lingered on his clothing.
Theo wanted her in his flat, he wanted her in his beds long enough for the sheets to cling to her scent. He wanted to see her rings forgotten by the sink, and her magazines to accumulate on the coffee table. He wanted her lipstick to remain on the rims of cups and her to curse his name if he accidentally woke her a moment too early as he left for his healer training.
"You'll never be alone," Maddie said, "is illegal,"
"Did the wizengamot pass this law?"
"Yesterday, it was in the prophet,"
"Surely I would have seen it,"
"The off brand prophet Abuela buys, El Propheto San Hogwarts, I would show you but it's all in Spanish, and you were in the headlines. And I gasped, and looked to the sky to dios, and I read it and I saw it was now international law that you will never be lonely, and so I joined the Union, is just me and Blaise right now, mi vida, and we have very little bargaining power but we are recruiting Madam Pomfrey, pero she's tough and will not sign without legal representation,"
She could see his dimples.
His hold on her tightened,
It worried Theo how much he would do for Maddie.
He must have been a saint in his past life for her to want him in this one.
"You are wonderful," Theo said, "You will stay?" Maddie nodded,
She was silent for all of fifteen seconds,
"Your father asked you to take the mark?"
"He is a challenging man to refuse."
His wording was unclear. Maddie was uncertain. She did not know if he already had it or was warding off pestulant owls from his father which came in the middle of the night each Wednesday.
Theodore's father was slowly becoming a terrifying faceless fignment of Maddie's imagination.
"I want to be a healer. If I were discovered I would never be able to heal in Britain,"
"Could you tell someone-"
"Would you leave me?"
"You want to be good. There is solution. I have faith,"
It was unclear yet honest. Maddie was an idiot but she was not stupid. It was not real yet. Her mind refused it.
"Could you remove my pin?" Theo asked, she did so, hooking it around th chain of her necklace so it could rest next to the heart shaped locket around her neck,
Theo wanted to be good. Maddie decided Theo should get what he wanted,
Theodore Nott despised Valentine's Day.
He disliked the couples in the hallways and the heart shaped notes passed between students during class. The chocolates were far too sweet and the caramels were from a cheap producer.
Maddie had not woken up in time for breakfast. In spite of this Theo had received three handmade Valentines. He hid them in his pocket swiftly and read them in the privacy of the lavatory before first period.
One adressed him as Theo, the other as Teddy, and the third as Mi Vida,
Horrid red spotted his cheeks, Maddie was a phenomenal artist but a dreadful poet. Each poem was a direct translation from Spanish. Theo should learn Spanish so he could appreciate her more.
Theo held her bouquet of Daisies as he stood outside of her History of Magic class,
He had sacrificed one to Blaise who had been horrendously put off that Theo had never sent him flowers in all their years of friendship and it was inconsiderate to prioritize romantic relationships over platonic ones.
Theo now found himself quite fussed over the fact that there was now an uneven number of flowers in the bouquet. He had chosen fourteen because it was the fourteenth. Now there were thirteen.
Maddie might have some superstition about being a Pisces and an odd number,
"Theo, how wonderful to see you," Maddie greeted, standing just before him, he glanced up and his cheeks heated, he unbuttoned and rebuttoned the cuff of his sleeve, Maddie was wearing shimmering eyeshadow and pink lipgloss, her hair framed her face prettily and his locket was centred on her tie,
Theo extended the flowers to her,
"Thank you," Maddie smiled as she accepted them,
He removed her bag from her shoulder and slung it over his,
"You don't have to-" she started, he gave her a look- "see this, this is the look," Maddie said, she looked down at her daisies and smiled, "I like the look,"
Theo fought a smile, he forgot about the number of daisies, all he could think of was the smile on her lips and the blush coating her cheeks,
Theo waited until all her classmates had cleared from the vicinity to kiss her.
"Happy Valentine's Day," he said, he had rehearsed it,
Maddie pulled him down by his tie to kiss him again. Theo liked it when she did that. Maddie tasted sweet and smelt like delicate perfume.
Theo found himself thinking of a future with Maddie occasionally. He thought of paint-covered hands holding his, and rushed lunches in the break room at St Mungo's. He thought of helping her stretch her own canvas and helping her carry paints home. He thought of receiving his first pay check, opening his own vault at Gringgotts and vanishing from his father's life forever.
He took Maddie's hand and began on his favourite route through the school. It had become routine. It was the one he took if he wanted to run into her.
Maddie was chattering about how dreadfully boring professor Binns was and informed Theo that the Hufflepuff girl she sat next to had been Carlos' first girl crush but had a thing for men who looked like rats and how glad she was that Carlos had moved on.
Theo brought her up the staircase with the portraits of queens long gone, past a statue of an angel, through the courtyard lingering to watch the fountain, to the hallway of landscapes where they were seldom interrupted,
They stopped before her favourite one, of the crown shyness in the forest,
"I have a gift for you," Maddie said, reaching into her bag and retrieving a small wrapped box with a golden bow on top,
Maddie was pretty in the pink and gold sort of way, he opened the box, there was a small golden pin inside.
He loved it instantly.
A Daisy. There was a heart at the centre, he turned it over in his fingers admiring the intricate detail.
"You said you wanted something gold,"
His eyes lifted to hers,
"Where should I wear it?" He asked, Her bouquet was tucked in her bag on his shoulder, and she took it from him, she attached it to the cuff of his sleeve,
"Or anywhere-"
Her heart was on his sleeve. Theo knew the way Maddie thought, he interrupted her with an embrace. He swept her into his arms and held her tightly,
"I worry I will someday use you as a rationale for homicide," he admitted, giggles spilt from her as he refused to let her go, "I am not kidding, darling, I feel it ought to be illegal to inconvenience you in the slightest."
"And I'm dramatic,"
Theo liked how dramatic Maddie was. It was very easy to reach the root of many of her issues because she would explain it in monologues or her eyes would betray her,
Theo kissed her cheek and then her lips as he pulled away from her,
"Would you kill someone?" She asked,
"Would you poison someone?"
"That was one time-"
"That I know of." Theo replied, Maddie scowled at him and went to remove the pin but he pulled his hand away, you would take my treasured possession as punishment? He signed to her,
"You like it?"
"I think," he paused for a moment, touching the heart engravement at the centre of the Daisy, "we should have a spring wedding," Theo made Maddie happy,
Theo enjoyed making Maddie happy.
Theodore Nott did not despise Valentine's Day. Not in the slightest. He did not know where anyone would ever get the notion he hated it.
"I have a gift for you as well," Theo said, "I could not give it to you anywhere somewhere could see,"
Maddie nodded, "Do you want me against the wall or bent over the bench?"
Theo shut his eyes and fought his smile before opening them again, he liked her sense of humour,
"You cannot tell anyone of its origins," Theo continued, "Promise me."
Maddie nodded, wondering if he was about to gift her a muggle gun or some means of killing Binns twice for boring her halfway to death,
Theodore Nott, a boy who at age six resurected the dead, had killed six people, and had punched three people, and had never lost a duel gifted Madelena Noceda a Teddy Bear.
Maddie beamed at him, Teddy the Teddy bear was gifted with a receipt.
Theo had purchased him from an upscale muggle department store the day he had received her letter informing him of his ressemblance to an 'expensive gringo department store Teddy Bear' the summer before sixth year.
"I did not know when I would gift it to you." Theo said as Maddie read the date on the receipt and she realized how long he must have hidden this soft bear in his dorm for months,
Theo lifted his hands to sign, Maddie's heart sped up,
I thought of taking on the role of a secret admirer. But it felt foolish. I asked P A N S Y what witches liked to receive on V A L E N T I N E S day and she was unhelpful, B L A I S E suggested the Teddy Bear he had been hiding for me would finally be useful,
Pansy's exact words had been, 'What do witches like to receive on V-day? They prefer to lose something. I think Noceda deserves to lose a different kind of V on the fourteenth, don't you?'
Maddie would giggle. He would tell her about it later.
Maddie looked at the plush Teddy bear, it was not smiling. She held it up next to Theo to compare their expressionless faces.
"Mi vida, be honest, is this your son?"
Theo's eyes went soft,
"I cannot tell the difference," Maddie whispered, "Which is the real-"
Theo cut her off with a kiss.
Theodore Nott adored Valentine's day.
"Is that- you've got a hickey," whispered Blaise, looking at Theo as he returned to his dorm,
"She said she would cover it for me in the morning," Theo replied walking towards Blaise's mirror to examine the love bite, it was tasteful.
"Not a even a denial," Blaise said, walking towards him to look at it, "couldn't you just heal it?"
Theo glanced at him as though he were an idiot. Maddie would wake early for this, she would be sleepy and fall asleep on his shoulder afterwards.
"You are so manipulative," Blaise declared, "at least tell me you gave her one,"
Theo nodded. He lifted three fingers, Blaise chuckled,
Theo did not want her to cover the one on her neck. He wanted people to see it. He wanted Brown, Potter, and Pucey to see it. He wanted to take a picture of her with his marks on her neck and send it to Becskei. He wouldn't.
But he would think about it.
"Did you...?"
Theo shook his head. They hadn't had sex.
"Do you want to?"
"Blaise. I have a girlfriend. This is inappropriate." Theo said,
"You're happy." Blaise said, shutting the curtain to his bed to allow Theo privacy while he changed, "it's disgusting, she liked the Teddy bear?"
"Yes," Theo replied, he changed quickly and opened the curtains of Blaise's bed, holding the daisy pin Maddie had gifted him, Blaise looked at it,
"She has impeccable taste," He said,
Theo nodded before setting it in a small box by his bedside,
"I received twenty seven Valentines today," Blaise said, smiling smugly,
"From your mother?"
Lavender and Weasley broke up two days before Theo's seventeenth birthday.
Theo had witnessed it. The Weasel, poisoned, his hand clasped in Granger's uttering Hermione's name.
He attributed it to karmic retribution. The headmaster witnessed it. Her professors saw. Lavender's chest felt full of stone. Her lungs no longer wished to expand with each breath only collapse and follow suit with her heart.
Maddie had found her sitting on the first stair outside of the Ravenclaw common room. She did not need to say anything for Maddie to know what had happened.
"I know, I know," Lavender muttered, she pulled at her socks and touched her twin braids, "I know I didn't- I know I couldn't- but Maddie I wish I could- And he- he's not even conscious and he knows I'm not enough," her voice broke and she hung her head, fat tear drops hit the stair beneath her, she sobbed,
Lavender did not particularly care who saw in this moment,
But Maddie was the only person who knew.
Maddie brought her to the kitchens.
Her sobs were loud and Maddie's jumper was swiftly stained with Lavender's glittery eyeshadow and mascara.
She could not leave her like this. Not when there was no one else in this castle Lavender had trusted this with.
"Lav," Maddie whispered, "I-"
"No, no, I- no," Lavender sobbed, "And in front of everyone, I've, I've made a fool of myself," She choked out, "A proper fucking fool and, and everyone's gonna know he left me for Granger- and all I did was love him, and care, and try, and it's never fucking enough is it?" Lavender got the hiccups halfway through her sentence, "It was like, like when you were in hospital- in fifth year, and, and Nott was just always fucking there, constantly, and I just- I can't even- and you are so, so stupid to be with him, so stupud, and I hate you for it, and I'm jealous, and I want you and I hate you, and I just- Maddie, I-"
Her eyes were watery and blue and her voice wobbled in nonsensical sentences,
"In front of all my fucking professors-" Lavender repeated, "I'm humiliated. I'm so-" She broke down in incoherent sobs, "My mum will never, she'll never understand,"
Maddie did not leave Lavender's side until she stopped crying. Until she had fallen asleep.
She informed her boyfriend of how upset Lavender had been as she informed him of the entirety of her day the following morning having been too preocuppied with a weeping friend to find him.
Theo's face hardened, he would not meet her eyes.
They stood an abandoned classroom which had not been in use since a fire in the seventies.
Maddie made mistakes.
"You slept in her bed?" Theo asked,
Maddie shook her head no, "I slept on the floor-"
"But you were in her bed," Theo affirmed,
"Just until she stopped crying-"
"You were in your ex girlfriend's bed?"
"She was really upset," Maddie insisted, eyes wide as Theo became progressively more upset, he could not even look at her, "Teddy-"
"I told you you being alone with her made me uncomfortable," Theo said, Maddie shifted on her feet,
"When?"
"It was implied."
"I kept the curtain open. Whole time. People in and out of dorm-"
"Do not lie," Theo said,
"I couldn't just, just leave her like that-" Maddie insisted, "she- is a hard thing for her, she does not like men and is having trouble coming to terms with it-"
"So you get into bed with her?"
"No, no, no, no don't say it like that," Maddie said, "She is mourning the loss of, of the life she thought she would have- even Weasley could feel something was not true- she cannot even fake it with a dumb one, and he humiliated her in front of professors-"
"You give her tissues and then you leave," Theo said he had never been cross with Maddie before,
"She was one of my closest friends and she needed me. Lavender is not out to anyone else, and I-" A panic entered her voice,
"Did you love her?" Theo asked,
"I don't know." Maddie answered, she did not know what else to say, she felt quite naive at the moment. She did not like feeling young and stupid.
But it was exactly what she was.
"You don't know?"
"If I didn't love you maybe," Maddie said,
"I'm sorry I kept you from her," Theo said, rolling his eyes,
"Stop that. You're being, being-"
"I am being what? Irrational? My girlfriend got into bed with someone else." Theo raised his voice. Maddie's eyes went wide,
"I am sorry." Maddie said, "Lo siento, Theo, I- I just, she was in so much pain. She could have hurt hers-"
"Would you still be with her if she had not decided to use Weasley?" Theo asked, his voice turned calm again, he was regulating his voice, adapting to cage the newfound emotion he had never thought would be directed at her,
"No. We were no, she and I- Lavender was, was very complicated. She was selfish. In ways you couldn't always understand why you felt disregarded. Very confusing, and, and- it wouldn't have worked because I was in love with you," Maddie said, Theo shook his head, "what?"
"Your being in love with me has never seemed to keep you out of the arms of another," He looked her over as he said it,
Maddie felt used up.
A thousand emotions flickered over her face. None over his.
"You rejected me. Over and over. Do you remember that?" Maddie asked, "because I do. I remember it."
"You know why that was-"
"Now I do. I know why now but not then. I had no idea why I was not enough for you. Why you decided to hate me. And, and, it hurt. Because I was in love with you, Mi vida, I am not a horrible person for trying to find someone, anyone, else to give my love to. Someone who wouldn't tell me to shoo, or, or date a racist cunt of a blonde after giving me false hope."
"I did not realize you were keeping a tab."
"I'm going to give you thirty seconds to think and comprehend the absolute idiocy of what you just said." Maddie said, her voice even and her eyes narrowed at him.
Theo did not like that she had laid in bed with Lavender Brown. He did not like that Lavender had been there for Maddie at a time that Theo had not been. Theo did not like how many people looked at her, how many people wanted her. Theo wanted her the most.
"Is not like you did not try to replace me." Maddie added,
"I hated her from the moment we met."
"Something we have in common."
Theo shifted on his feet. Thinking about what to say next. He used the full thirty seconds she had granted him.
I do not cope well when I think someone is trying to take you from me. He admitted to her in sign. His cheeks begun to burn. A hot angry red, I've never been able to feel this way for anyone else. And you have. You are my only love. I cannot stand that I may not even be your first. You could be taken away from me at any moment and I would be left with nowhere to put my love,
"Bold statement to make at seventeen," breathed Maddie,
Uncertainty is not a pass time of mine.
"How do you even know there is not some perfect girl for you-"
Perfect is dreadfully dull.
"Are you saying I'm not perfect?" The offence in her tone was nearly comical, Maddie was emtion and became bossy when she was in distress,
Maddie was not perfect. When things were perfect Theo had the impulse to preserve them.
Perfection does not allow for change. We are only in sixth year, darling. I do not anticipate you will be exactly the same when we graduate, nor do I anticipate meeting a version of you I will not love.
"What if I kill someone?"
"I will assume it was to bond with your future in laws."
"What if I... hit someone with a car?"
"I will pay off the Muggle law enforcement."
"What if I told you I hated mimes?"
"I would send you to an English language course because clearly you do not understand the meaning of those words."
"What if I go blonde?"
"You would never go blonde."
"How do you know?"
"You told me in October of fifth year." Theo said, Maddie paused. Sometimes it was hard to believe that the famous Theo Nott loved her. That he had been enamoured with her so entirely for so long and had every intention of remaining that way.
"It makes you uncomfortable when I am with her alone?" Maddie asked quietly, Theo nodded.
"You went to her,"
"She came to me, she was in, in the pain. And she's not trying to take me from you-"
Theo scoffed, he trusted Maddie completely. He also knew her. He knew she was insecure, jealous, and desperate for love. He knew she was soft and sweet. He knew she had trouble telling people no. That she was compassionate and did not face the same difficulty he had of understanding others.
Maddie's eyes were filled with tears,
"No you cannot cry, it is not fair-"
"Then close your fucking eyes, mi vida, fair? I am not a child on the side of the street, and Lavender is not a man in a van with candy, she cannot take me from you." Maddie said,
Theo knew he was irritating her at the moment. Hurting her. She wiped away a rogue tear,
"I broke up with her."
"Because she wanted to be with Weasley publicly and you privately,"
Maddie shook her head.
"She equivocated my mami's death to her mother being unaccepting." Maddie said, "I don't know why it stung as much as it did but whenever I look at her now is always there. Stinging. Como uno wasp, I can never be- It will never be the same. Besides. She slept with Weasley and they say when you sleep with someone you are sleeping with everyone they've ever slept with. Do you really think I want to fuck a ginger?"
"You never speak about your mother."
"I barely remember her. There is nothing to speak about."
"I do not remember my mother either,"
"We are so compatible, Mi vida, and here I was thinking it was because we were both Pisces."
She was still cross with him. Theo stepped towards her,
"You hated me- I really thought you hated me, Theo, and you can't just- you can't use who I was with or what I did to try and ease that pain against me. I am sorry I was with her." Maddie said, "You are right," she continued, Theo exhaled in relief,
Maddie was over dramatic, and emotional, but she could admit when she was wrong. Looking at Theo, who loved her, come apart at the seams learning she had taken care of someone else's heart. She hadn't thought it through. Lavender had been in pain. Had asked something of Maddie. Even as harmless as it seemed- she should never have slept in someone else's bed. She should have said no.
"I should have said no. I did not think. It was a mistake. I did not mean to hurt you. But I did. I did and I'm so sorry, Theo. That does not mean you get to make me feel guilty about not sensing you secretly wanted me and become a nun in your absence. I- You- you can't- I didn't know- and, and, you-"
Theo took her hand, he released it and held her wrist now. His hand rose up her arm until he reached the curve of her neck, and then the side of her face.
"My apologies."
Maddie nodded. She was not expecting him to apologize. Aleksander had never apologized. Neither had Lavender. She was waiting for-
"But-"
There it fucking was, she stormed away,
"Della-"
Theo caught her wrist and she pulled away, he did the only logical thing he could think of. He picked her up,
"Mierda-"
She was over his shoulder, Maddie was not incredibly light. Theo was incredibly strong.
"This is our first fight." Theo informed her, as though it was news,
"Put me down-"
"Promise not to run."
"Theo-"
"Maddie."
She very awkwardly pinky promised him and he set her down. She false started and almost giggled at his response his hands suddenly around her waist, firmly after being startled.
"Darling,"
Theo's face was not blank. It was not a smile. She did not see his dimples, his brow was furrowed and his eyes were soft. He wore worry, fear, he was frightened his inadequate preparation for this relationship might have ruined it,
It's just a fight. Nothing more. She signed to him, his shoulders eased, he cleared his throat and regained his composure, I've apologized, is it enough?
Theo nodded, it was enough. Maddie overdramatic and irrational as she was had a talent for easing Theo's insecurities,
Theo was still upset.
"It is just a fight?" Maddie asked,
Theo nodded,
"Then what-"
"You've never spent the night in my bed," he muttered, Theo's words were that of a petulant child which was ironic considering the extent to which Theo prided himself on taking care of her.
His cheeks begun to burn again, angry red spotting his pale skin, "I want- I-"
Theo struggled with vocalizing his desire for intimacy.
"She didn't even have to ask and you- and I've wanted- and-" his words fell from him in a jumble, "I just, and usually it's- I just have to-"
"I won't run away," she promised, removing his hands from her waist so he could sign,
I trust you. He signed,
Maddie nodded.
I am jealous of her.
Yours, she signed setting a hand to her heart,
Theo nodded and mirrored the action, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled Maddie into an embrace he needed desperately,
He did not like fighting. He had read it was normal but he did not like it one bit.
"I am sorry," He muttered,
He kissed her cheek.
"You tell me when you're hurt," Maddie whispered, words he had first said to her, "I'll take care of you," she reciprocated him.
Theo loved Maddie.
It struck him in the chest and wrapped itself around his heart. He loved her.
It felt different than his affection had from afar. Vastly different. He had felt undeserving of her before. Like he was some innately wicked thing destined to corrupt her. Like asking her to love him would be like assigning her intensive unrewarding labour. Like he was requesting she carry the weight of his happiness or morality. Asking her to be an Angel of pure light who daring to save a sinner.
Maddie was a person. She was no Angel. She had lovely flaws which made her no less deserving of love.
In such proximity to her, Theo felt no shame for the beating of his heart, the feeling swelling in his chest of overwhelming undeniable certainty that this witch was right.
Theodore Nott was not born wicked. He was just seventeen. He was in love for the first time and he was afraid.
And that was fine.
"You love me?" He whispered,
"More than words," she replied,
"Darling?" He said, "I am a death eater,"