My heart is so full of you I can hardly call it my own.
-Liana Radulescu
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warning: a little bit of spice :)
.....Is she feeling any better at all? I do hope so. Tell her I send her all the love in the entire world. I need her strong for when I return.
A letter from Elizabeth to her Mother, Lady Julie Johnston.
The first soiree would be hosted at a friends house of my mothers on the next evening. We were going and I was quick to find out if the Bridgertons were going.
I had not spoken to Eloise since the day Sir Phillip arrived. I hadn't seen her either, but when I took a stroll in the park with Joy, I saw Daphne and the Duke.
"One moment Joy." I walked over and bowed, "Your graces." Daphne tilted my chin up, "Please Lizzy, no need to bow and address us as such. We are family friends of course." I smiled. I had met the Duke once. He is a nice man from what I have seen and heard. "I only had a question, are you and your family going to the Matthews Soiree?" She looked up at the Duke.
"I believe they mentioned they were." He said to her. Daphne looked back to me, "I am sure they will, they never miss." She chuckled. I said my goodbyes and rejoined with Joy. We walked arm in arm before she asked me the dreaded question, "I have seen you dance with Martin a bit. What do you think of him?" I scoffed, not in a rude way but a not this again way.
"He's considerably attractive and quite kind, but only a friend. I could never love him more than that." Joy nodded, "Its only that, your brother, he cares so much for you, he wants you to be happy with whomever like..."
"Eloise." She stopped in her tracks, but my eyes were set on in front me where she stood. I looked up quickly, "No wait, not Eloise sorry. Its only shes over there. But yes to be happy." Joy looked ahead, "Oh she is with Sir Phillip." Sure enough, he was beside her. Anthony and Kate not far behind. Eloise spotted me and waved, I did back but then steered Joy in a different direction.
"I thought you and her were quite close." Joy muttered, "We are but I wouldn't want to interrupt her splendid time with Sir Phillip." We walked over to the bridge and passed by Lady Danbury, she stopped me with her cane, "Hello dear. I hear this is your second season!" I laughed lightly, "Ah yes it is." Lady Danbury nodded, "Good luck. Its going to be a tough season." Good to know, like I hadn't acquired that knowledge already.
She spotted Eloise walking closer. "It seems someone has made a match." She winked at Anthony. I needed air, but I was already outside, so maybe I needed closure instead.
"Joy we must go home. I fear I am lightheaded and I need rest before tomorrows event." Joy and I quickly left but I felt Eloise's eyes burn into my back.
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The next evening, we loaded into the carriage. Ashton and Joy took their own one this time doing God knows what. My sister and I took either side of our mother, Thomas and Daniel sat in front of us.
"How is she going?" Daniel asked mama pointing at Samantha. My mother chuckled, "Mrs Matthews insisted she came. She is your responsibility." He threw his head back dramatically.
"Am I that bad Danny?" She asked innocently. He looked back down and smiled, "No I was only joking little one." But he still made a face at mama,
"I don't see you trying to find a wife." She told him. Thomas put his hand on his heart, "My brother, shes got you there." I laughed, "I am sure Samantha would adore dancing with you." I said to Thomas. He smoothed his jacket, "Of course, but I was hoping to dance with Hyacinth." Now my hand was on my chest. He smirked but Daniel nudged him in a brotherly way.
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When we arrived I walked in, I didn't see Eloise. Perhaps she hadn't arrived. I slowly went down the stair case scanning the room. I saw Gregory and Hyacinth with Benedict, Colin, and Penelope. What if she doesn't come? Or maybe that's what I needed.
On the main floor I made small conversation with the Bridgertons already there, I didn't ask about Eloise. My back faced the steps so I couldn't see who was coming or going.
Mid sentence Benedict said, "Theres my sister." I silently prayed he was talking about Daphne but no, I turned around and Eloise came down the steps next to her mother. She lit the entire room. Her beauty blinded me and I all I wanted was her in that very moment. My skin crawled and screamed for her touch.
Our eyes met and in that moment, no one else was in the room but us. In another world, she would come to me and ask me to dance. I would put a hand on her shoulder and the other in hers. She would put her hand around my waist and we would dance. But in this world, I had to pretend to not notice how beautiful she looked. She made her way towards us.
"This is already boring." She said to me. We hadn't talked in days and thats the first she says. Benedict stood beside her, "How many dances will do you in tonight sister?" She held a single finger up. Daniel stepped in front of Benedict, "May I do the honor of that single dance?" I could have killed him. She held up her wrist clearly annoyed, not by Dan but just being there. They went in and I glanced down, "Samantha." I said, Benedict threw a hand, "Don't worry, she is painting in the studio down the hall. I've got an eye on her Liz, go enjoy yourself." He smiled and I happily walked over towards Martin. "Lets dance." I said. He signed my card and we joined in.
After the first and only dance I did, Eloise slowly walked past me, "I am going up to the library, you should join me." To others, it looked as if she said nothing, but to me she said everything.
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A couple of minutes later I found myself walking down the hall into the library, I slightly pushed open the doors, it was gorgeous. She stood over in the back looking at a book. I walked in while looking up. I shut the door behind me and locked it without notice.
"It is extraordinary." I say, she looks at me when she answers, "Indeed it is." I walked over to her.
I look at the book she is reading. Her gloves are off, "Have you read it?" She asks, I smell the flower scent on her skin, "No." I look down at her lips, they are soft.
She looked up at me, "You look concerned." She almost laughed. I shook it off, "No, what I am concerned about it what happened in your room a couple of days ago?" She paused completely.
"Oh."
"Yes, oh." She looked at me. We stood inches apart. She contemplated what she was about to say, "Lizzy the truth is...I am in love with you. And I know that it sounds insane and illicit but I knew I could tell you."
My heart had stopped beating.
"Elizabeth you are what I think about night and day, before I wake up and the last thought in my mind before I sleep. I see you in people throughout the day. I want you more than anything and anyone in the entire universe and beyond. I want to touch you. I want feel you, I want your heart and your love. And every time you even glance at someone else, I have so much jealousy, I could explode. From the moment I saw you at the Palace, I needed you. I want to know everything about you. I want to know what its like to kiss you. I can't let a second of the day go by without wanting you. I love you Elizabeth."
I stood, frozen in time. The floor beneath me has almost given away.
"Lizzy? Please say something." We drifted closer to each other. Our faces hovering over one another's.
"Lizzy..." She whispered against my lips. "If you don't feel the same tell me because-"
"Eloise stop talking."
Our lips touched, softly. She put her hands on my back. My hands touched her side. We stopped and looked at each other and it was as if our eyes both said yes, this is all I want.
She pulled of my gloves and I immediately put my hands to her cheeks and pulled her in tightly, her hands moved down to my waist.
Her lips kissed my neck. She pushed me back against the book case. Her lips on my chest then back up to my lips. She pressed tightly against me. I could feel everything.
My hands curved around her neck. Her hand slithered down to under my thigh. I felt a moan escape my lips. I had wanted this moment for so so long, before I had even met her.
I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was almost eleven o'clock. Mother would be looking for me.
"Eloise....we have to go." She stopped and looked at the time, "I suppose we do." I walked over to the door. My cheeks were so warm. Before I unlocked the door she came up behind me and grabbed my chin to kiss me once more. She smiled against them. I felt everything at once when her lips curved against mine
"I will see you tomorrow." She said and we walked out, innocently, as if nothing had happened.
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I laid in bed, touching my lips, I felt my heart speed up every time I imagined her body against mine. I smiled hard and laid on my side gazing out the windows. I saw the moon in the sky.
I always thought the moon was the most beautiful thing I ever saw, but I have now changed my mind.
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