Anthony's POV:
She looks so small.
She fell asleep just after Charlie finished making sure her iv drip was in place and her wrist band for her head rate and tracker was secure before she finally curled into a smaller ball and stopped moving.
"She'll be okay," Luciano says standing beside me as we look at her small frame tucked in the bed sheets, "once she realises she's with you again she can only get better," he says nudging me softly with his elbow.
"How did she trust you so fast?" Dad asks quietly from the doorway, "..she doesn't.. she didn't have much choice for me carrying her, as there's not too many ramps around.. I felt bad as she's scared of me but I hope she understands and doesn't hate me for it." Luciano says also quietly as he looks back to Ella.
She won't hate him. She's too forgiving.
"Will she be scared of me..?" I blurt out accidentally and everyone looks at me as I shut my eyes tightly realising my mistake, "once she recognises you she might.." Luciano starts and my heart stings in pain at the thought of her not recognising me or trusting me. It's all I want. All I want is my daughter to love and trust me and all I want is to love and trust my daughter.
What if she never trusts me and then never wants to get to know me again? What if she's scared of me and never hugs me or holds my hand again? What if she never speaks to me again.?
"-just know she's been through a lot and probably won't trust anyone completely for a bit.. but.. with how close you two were before hopefully she will trust you again quickly,"
Hopefully
"-and know it might take time, she's very polite and with whatever's happened she was still patient and kind to me and luci which shows who she is as a person. She's still there Anthony but just needs support to be more herself again." Vittoria says from beside dad while I look down at the floor.
"Give her time and patience and show her she can trust you and I'm sure she will love you just as much." Vittoria finishes as Charlie walks back in from the toilet, "just set up all of her medications, I have a small diary for you two to fill out for each day so you don't forget to take them and what amounts. -Obviously I'm gonna be checking too but it's just to help keep track of it all.." he says looking between us all while dad clears his throat.
"Let's leave her be then." Dad says as he turns and begins his way down back to the kitchen, everyone slowly follows except me. I look down at the floor before I hear my name. Looking up I see Luciano looking at me concerned, "she might not wake up for a bit, let's go downstairs and talk? Hm?" I look back at my daughter's sleep figure before looking back to Luciano and shaking my head.
"I'll stay, thank you," he nods and swiftly catches up to everyone else as I'm left in silence. Taking my phone out of my pocket I open the app to check Ella's wrist band.
It's something Nick got from somewhere to track where she is and what her heart rate is and so on, it's linked to an app on all of our phones and it's on the only thing I've been watching since Luciano put it on her when they got to the plane 11 hours ago.
'Last reported readings for Ella Rose: blood sugars: low, blood pressure: low, notes: none.
updated last: 9:45 Saturday 9th September by Charlie Rose
Live stats: 48bpm, location: Rose Family Home, America.'
I sigh and lean against the doorway as I re-read the words.
"She can only get better," I repeat in my head as I turn to look at her, "she can only get better," I walk over to her side of the bed a kneel beside her, my heart hurts as I see what I wish I had hallucinated.
Brushing her soft dark hair out of her face I caress her bandaged face as her other eye stays softly closed, I sigh softly as I watch her shoulders rise and fall slowly. Tears pick my eyes as I think about how much she's gone through and how she doesn't deserve it. She's only a kid. My kid. My Ella. She doesn't deserve anything that's happened to her.. but, now I can give her everything she's ever wanted.
All I wish to do is squeeze her tightly in my arms and not let go. But I can't.
Looking at my daughter I feel slightly sick at how small and fragile she looks... She's always been small like her mother, 5'3, and the last I heard she was 110lbs.
Now she looks as small as a baby, she's always been skinny in my eyes. But that she ever agreed with me but now.. she barely even has any muscle on her.
To be fair she does have a large hoodie on and I can't see under the thick duvet and blankets covering her but the wrist I can see.. the one not in a cast and with the many many wired going in and out and whatever looks tiny.
I could probably wrap my pinky finger around it.
And the half of her face I can see looks tired and sore, the swelling's probably gone down a lot too.. hopefully I can help her eat to feel better about herself. She's always had a small thing about food. Hopefully that was just because of my cooking and not her thinking negatively about herself. I don't want her to ever think she's not amazing.
Standing to my full height I wipe the tears from my cheeks and walk to the walk in wardrobe opposite the foot of the bed, going in I find Ella's bags of things and take out her old favourite teddy.
I got it for her at the airport when we first landed in England, she hadn't stopped crying for her mum and our family and finally fell asleep when she first held it. She called him Murphy and he's always stayed in her bed since she grew out of playing with her toys.
Going back into the room I place the old, brown, floppy dog under her arm and move to the opposite side of the bed and lay down. Not near her so if she wakes up she doesn't get upset because I'm touching her but hopefully close enough so she can see me and know who I am.
Opening my phone again I see a missed call from Becky, my heart drops as I immediately call her back. After three rings I hear her voice, "god Anthony I was worried for a while! You haven't answered any texts or calls for the past week!"
"I-I'm sorry Becky I just got caught up with stuff," I say as I try make her less mad at me, "we haven't had any updates from the police and Lauren's not doing so well again, d-do you know anything.?"
"Beck are you sat down?" I ask and she takes a big breath, "yeah..?" Her voice breaks softly and I wipe yet another tear from my cheek.
"A-a couple days ago.. on Monday morning.. a girl was found unconscious near a small town in Russia.. um- she matched Ellas description and we got the blood work back yesterday morning.." I sniffle as Becky stays silent, "she's back with me now.. I-I was just gonna call you," my voice breaks and my heart pains as she sobs on the other end of the line.
"Oh my god, I-is she awake? Is she okay? W-what happened.? W-wait- Russia?" She continues to ask questions before I answer, "beck, she's still asleep, she woke up but hasn't said anything or anything like that.. uh she's asleep next to me now b-but she'll be okay, my family has all of the best coming to check her and if she's okay. I-I already have her signed for therapy- and my nephew, Charlie, is a doctor and has already set up everything she needs," I say and take a big deep breath as she falls silent again.
"You-you haven't talked to her yet?" I shake my head like she can see me before I remember she's not with me, "No," my voice breaks as I hear her sigh through the phone, "a-are you okay?" I pause at her question.
..Am I?
"Uh- ..yeah, I will be.. are you okay?" I ask wiping a final tear from my cheek as she laughs softly, "well I am now, I-I'm going to have to tell Lauren and everyone, I-is that okay?"
"I guess, my brothers already contacted the people who need to know and is sorting it all out now, I think a statement is going to be make in the news tomorrow for you guys," I say as I re-call what Nick told me just over an hour ago.
"Oh okay, uh I will call you tomorrow then yeah?" She says as I hear her move about, "yeah, -bye," I say before she hangs up. Silence surrounds me as I stare at the phone in my hand, looking to my right I see Ella still sound asleep with her long dark brown hair covering the pillow.
Pushing myself up against the headboard I scroll mindlessly on my phone for a while until I hear footsteps from down the hall, the door opens and Alex pokes his head round the corner and smiles when he sees Ella, looking to me he continues to smile as he quietly closes the door behind him.
"You alright? Luciano said you didn't want to come down," he leans against the desk to my left and closes his arms over his chest, "No, sorry," I say looking up at him as he smiles, "don't apologise, I was just worried and wanted to see if you were okay,"
I look over his face that holds concern and nod, "I'm fine. I just told Becky Ella's been found," I say while sitting up putting my phone on charge on the nightstand beside me as Alex looks at me surprised, "you didn't say anything before?" I shake my head, "I had meant to but I forgot," I take a deep breath before Alex sits next to me, "don't worry about it, I think she's just glad she heard it from you-"
We freeze as we hear a small shuffle from behind us, firstly looking at each other we watch each others eyes as we wait for another sound.
A small whine comes from Ella and I quickly turn to see her attempting to move herself into a more comfortable position, I freeze for a second and so does Alex as Ella finally notices me and him frozen on the other side of the bed. Freezing herself she stares at us for a couple seconds, her big brown eye looking us up and down as her lip starts to wobble slightly.
"-I'll be outside," Alex says under a whisper before he leaves silently, looking back to Ella I find her trying to move out of the bed, "uh- Ella, Ella-" I rush over while trying not to be threatening as she flinches away from me as I crouch beside her.
She holds her teddy to her chest as she leans away from me and refuses to look at me while crying silently, "Ella, can you stay in bed for me? I-I would like to ask you some questions if that's okay," I say gently as she glances at me for a second before looking away.
She stays still with her both injured legs hanging of the bed as she leans her head against the headboard, her eye sleepy and heavy but refuses to close.
"Can I ask you a few questions.?" I shuffle slightly closer as her eye falls closed for a second before re-opening. Glancing at me again she only sniffles adorably as I clear my throat, "do you know where you are?" I ask softly as she looks over my face and crouched body with a small frown.
Giving me a slight nod I smile softly, "that's good, good girl. Okay, uh- do you remember who you are?" I ask as she finally looks me in the eye with a small flash of light in her eye, her lip starts trembling again and she shrugs subtly making my heart ache.
She doesn't remember who she is..
She shrugged- that's not a no. Maybe she just doesn't remember a lot.?
Taking and deep breath I adjust myself to sit more comfortably as she stays still and silent, "yo-you know your name.?" I ask and look at her scared for her answer, giving me a small nod I nod in return as I think deeply, "okay, do-... do you remember your fathers name?" I ask and look up to her as she stares at me deeply for a couple seconds.
She looks at my eyes, my nose, my lips, my jaw, my hair, my cheeks and finally after looking me up and down my hand with the small ring on it.
Suddenly she starts sobbing, not loudly but not as silently as before, freezing I don't know what to do. Did she recognise me? Is she crying because she remembers me? Is she okay with me hugging her? Does she want me to leave? Can I hold her hand?
I watch as her hand slowly and shakily reaches out to me, with her face hidden in her other hand holding her teddy and with her crying I gently take a hold of her hand and slowly move over to her. She wipes her face and her other hand also reaches out to me while holding her teddy as she sobs harder. Softly I lean into her as she leans into me, hiding her face in my chest I hold her as she cries.
Moving us onto the bed I hold her gently to me and she cries. Soothing her back and softly swaying her side to side seems to help as her sobs turn into small whines and cries, with my back against the headboard and my head tucked in her hair I kiss the crown of her head probably a thousand times.
I hold her forever, and with the sun now fully up in the cloudless sky I know it's been hours yet it's only felt like a couple seconds. We haven't moved, she's fallen in and out of sleep and each time she wakes up she cries until I remind her I'm here with her and she falls back asleep.
I've even fell asleep a couple times before waking to Ella's quiet cries.
Looking up the the slowly opening door I see Alex poke his head round the door, seeing me and Ella he smiles softly, "is she asleep?" He asks quietly, I nod silently, "what time is it?" I ask just below a whisper as Alex checks his watch, "three thirty seven.."
"Are you two okay?" He asks and I nod, I feel myself start to cry before stopping myself quickly, everyone's seen me cry enough this past month.
"She-she didn't remember me," I say quietly with a small voice break while I watch as Alex's eyes soften considerably. I didn't think it was possible, when I was younger he was always crazy and doing something to annoy someone or break a rule, especially dad and his rules- and I've barely seen him cry or show any negative emotion- especially crying. The first I saw him cry was when Maria and aria died, the second and last was when it was confirmed Ella had been confirmed to be missing.
"She does now.. right?" He asks looking to me frightened while I give him a 'are you serious?' Look and he smiled and laughs lightly, "I'm kidding..!" He says and we quickly freeze as Ella stirs in my lap,
"-I'm gonna go, okay? I check back on you in a bit," he smiles again softly and walks out silently as Ella jolts slightly and wakes up.
Immediately clutching onto my shirt he catches her breath as I attempt to soothe her, "you okay? What happened?" I ask as she turns slightly, glancing up at me, and goes back to hiding her face in my chest.
"Baby? What happened?" I ask kissing the crown of her head softly as she shakes under my hands, "w-..was it a bad dream.?" I barley whisper and she only cries harder.
My lip trembles as I hold her impossibly closer. Feeling her shaking and trembling body on mine makes my eyes tear up as I rest my cheek against her hair while my hands attempt to comfort her.
"She can only get better,"
——
Ellas POV:
"Ella~"
I startle awake to a bright window, feeling someone's arms slightly tighten around me I quickly glance up to dad who looks really worried. Immediately hiding my face In his chest I attempt to catch my breath from the singular word I had dreamt.
"Baby? What happened?" Dad asks softly, his chest rumbling under my ear as he softly and comfortingly kisses the crown of my head. Something I remember him doing a lot.
He stays silent for a couple seconds before taking a small deep breath, "w-.. was it a bad dream?" He says inaudible to me but due to my ear being against his chest I make it out through feeling his chest under me.
I can't stop myself from crying harder as he holds me even closer than before- something I thought was impossible. I feel his breathing go slightly uneven as he attempts not to cry.
-
It's been a while and I have no more tears to cry, dads taken that as a sign to put on a film he said I used to like but I can't remember ever watching it.
It's called barbie and they're mermaids, I can say I recognise the character and I've predicted most of the story line so I do believe dad when he said it was one of my favourite films.
When he first said 'barbie' I did think of the colour pink which seems to be her colour scheme but other than that everything else is kind of foggy. I'm trying to watch the film but every time I close my eyes the film seemingly skips forwards.
It's getting dark now and I feel bad because dads belly's been rumbling a bit for the past hour, I've tried to ask him if he wants to leave me and eat but he doesn't understand what I'm asking and says he doesn't want to leave me when I point out to the door.
We've watched a couple more of those barbie films before we started to watch a show called 'the office' or something. Dad seemed excited when he saw it on the tv and said about how we used to watch it together. I tried to smile and show him I was excited to but I stopped when I almost started crying again.
A guy has come in to check if dad and me are okay, he's not Luciano but is around the same age and looks about the same just with much darker hair and a smoother voice- basically dad but older.
He stayed and watched a bit of the barbie film of a big diamond castle and said something just loud enough for me to hear to my dad about how someone called Enzo who used to watch these films with me when we were little.
"-Do you want to get ready for bed?" Dad asks softly as I look up to him from hiding my face in his neck. I quickly scan over his tired face- he looks like he needs some sleep. I look down and slightly nod as he smiles.
I find myself watching dad from the closed toilet seat I'm sat on, I've already done my business and dads given me some sleeping pills so I'm slightly drowsy but I still need to brush my teeth and wash my hands but I can't physically bring myself any closer to the sink nor bathtub.
Dads getting a cup for me to use instead of the sink as he tried to carry me closer to the sink to brush my teeth and wash my hands but I refused. What he did to help was bring soap over and as I rubbed my hands with the soap he lay a big towel on my lap and slowly poured a cup of water on my hands to wash them over the towel so water didn't get anywhere.
There's probably an easier way, but it's what dad thought to do when he saw I was petrified of the thought of going near the sink and shower.
Now he's re-filling the cup while I brush my teeth. I feel bad that he has to do all of these extra steps because I'm scared. It's just a sink and bathtub I should be able to go within a couple steps of them.
But whenever I do I freeze and dad said I looked really really pale and I felt sick and really shaky and almost threw up. I feel sad I can't do anything like this properly as I'm so scared, another thing I'm scared of is smelling bad and having bad breath so it's not like I don't want to do this properly I just can't physically bring myself to do it.
Dad holds the cup in front of me and I take it making sure not to touch his hand where he holds it, while I take a sip and swish the water around he places another cup in my lap that's empty, "spit in there when you're done," he says softly as he stands and waits for me to finish.
After spitting out into the cup he quickly washes everything out before carrying me back into the bedroom.
He continues to talk about everything and nothing while he sits me back on the left side of the bed before tucking me in and handing me back the small dog I can remember being called Murphy, as he begins to stand I quickly grab back onto his hand making him pause and look at me, I glance to the door then my eyes fall to my lap as dad seems to understand what I'm trying to say.
"I'm not leaving baby, don't worry. I'm just gonna get changed quickly," he says crouching beside me as I keep my eyes on my lap, nodding softly I let go of his hand while he gives me one last gentle squeeze before rushing into the door beside the bathroom door.
Before I can drift to sleep I'm woken by dad walking back out of what I'm guessing is the walk in wardrobe in joggers and a baggy short sleeved t-shirt. Looking at dads shoulders and arms I see bruises and cuts, now looking more at my dad I see his black and blue bruised knuckles and stubbly face.
He gets into bed on the opposite side and when he eventually settles he notices me watching him, "you okay baby?" He asks concerned as he places the remote for the tv on the bed beside him.
Struggling to pull myself up in bed when I eventually do I softly reach out to his hand and gently tap his bruised hand and look to him with a small frown. He pauses for a second not expecting me to be concerned for him before looking at me with soft and teary eyes, "don't worry about me sweetie," he says slowly and cautiously reaching out and holding my hand in his.
"I'm okay, let's go to bed and tomorrow we can watch whatever you want," he says softly smiling at me with subtle tears in his eyes.
Squeezing my hand gently he turns of his lamp and brings me to him as the room quickly falls dark. Clutching onto dads shirt I hide my face in my hair and his chest and focus on his breathing as I softly drift into sleep.
——
A/n: hope this is good, thank you for all of the reads and votes on the past chapters I really appreciate it :D
<3