Hello, not quite happy with this chapter but I needed to post something. Not sure when the next part will be posted, but again - I wont abandon this fic. Also we love Clove being a lil delulu this chapter.
I woke up cold and alone. No one had come for me, not like I had expected it nor even cared. I sat up and my body ached from the hard stone floor. Accepting the fact that I had to face everyone at some point I returned to the camp. No one looked at me except for Glimmer. She smiled at me but I avoided her gaze. I had to keep my head cold or there's no way I could win this. Glimmer tried repeatedly to talk to me throughout the day, but I walked away every time and after many attempts she finally gave up.
We had walked back to the cornucopia to get the lasting supplies. No one talked, not even Glimmer and Marvel who always seemed to find something to talk about. We had gathered the supplies and piled them up in a tower looking construction. Cato had found the boy from 3 and tricked him into installing mines around it. The boy was taking really long though and I was losing the little patient I owned. Instead of blowing up and causing even more drama I started playing with my knives. It was calming and made me focus on something else than my thoughts. I heard light footsteps walking towards me and knew who it was even before she opened her mouth.
"It's for the boils. Take it" she said while holding a tube in front of my face. "I'm fine, I don't need it" I said without looking at her. I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself if I met her emerald eyes. "Clove, they can burst any second. They'll get infected and you'll die from it" she said, slightly annoyed. Not being able to control myself anymore I looked at her. She was so beautiful and the boils on her body had already started to subside. I furrowed my brows trying my best to act normal when all I wanted was to kiss her. "Just take the damn tube Clove" she screamed at me. I almost shuddered as it was the first time she let emotions control her like this. Something changed in her eyes and she shoved me against the ground and climbed on top of me. I was too shocked to even understand what was going on. She was so close to me and I couldn't help but admire how beautiful she was. Her eyes never met mine but I knew she could feel me staring. She lubricated all my boils gently, careful to not put too much pressure and accidentally burst them. I wondered if she could feel the radiating heat coming from where our bodies collide. There was a slight blush starting to paint Glimmer's cheeks. Was she uncomfortable with the sponsors seeing her doing this with a girl or could she feel her second heartbeat too?
Glimmer suddenly got off me as fast as she had showed up. She didn't say a word and started walking towards Cato, leaving me in complete shock. I slowly sat up and followed the blonde girl with my eyes. Cato was babysitting the boy from district 3 and made sure he wasn't trying anything. The girl reached the blonde boy and sat down beside him. She quietly lubricated his boils while he was staring at her like I did just a minute ago. I could see her cheeks turning pink and I had to bite my tongue to not go over there and smack someone. When she was done with the task their eyes met and I could see how they locked eyes. I started grinding my teeth as Cato smiled his most charming smile. It felt like I was going to throw up any second now. He leaned in and they kissed. I felt my fingers grasping around a knife. The kiss was soft and loving. I felt a sting of jealousy. Why did both the one I like and have liked get each other and I'm left with nothing but an aching soul? She started climbing on top of the boy and really getting into that kiss. Cato's hand started wandering her back, just like mine had yesterday. My stomach dropped and I turned away from the couple. Did she just use me? Was it her plan all along to make me like her so I wouldn't kill her? Apparently she seemed to like Cato much more. Good. They both deserve each other. I couldn't care less about that romantic shit. It's not real anyway. I have a mission and there's no way I'm not going to fulfil it. Every single tribute in this arena will be dead except for me.
I picked up a stick from the ground and started to carve it into a wooden dagger. Maybe I could kill Cato with it, for symbolic purposes. "Are you completely out of your mind!?" Glimmer screamed and I quickly shifted my focus to the girl. She was now sitting with Marvel and he looked very unhappy with her outburst. They were sitting pretty far away but Glimmer's high pitched voice could be heard from a mile away. She was really upset. "You're just jealous Cato likes me and not you" she said to the boy. I could see the hurt in his eyes despite the distance and how the panic took over his ability to speak. "Well Clove likes you at least. Cato didn't even come back for you, but she did" he said and nodded towards me. My blood turned ice cold and it felt like someone just stabbed me with a knife. The whole Panem now thinks I like this girl. My parents will forever be ashamed and I don't even know if they can see past it even if I win. Glimmer whispers something unrecognisable but based on the look on Marvel's face it was something very hurtful. "I hope you die soon, you piece of shit" Glimmer then screams in his face and leaves. She must've been really hurt to allow herself to lose control like that. She's weak for believing there's real friendship and love in this place. We're all here to kill each other. What did she expect?
Big dark clouds started to form in the sky. A fire. I jumped to my feet, happy to have a distraction from all this drama. We gathered in a lump and tried to decide whether to leave the boy from 3 or take him with us. "I only have one mine left to plant and it will be all done" he spoke up. He knew we'd find him and kill him if he left so we decided to hand him a spear and run towards the fire. We travelled through the woods in complete silence. I could feel my heart pumping hard in my chest and the excitement to kill something kept my head cold. It took about half an hour to reach what we thought was something similar to the previous fire. The orange flames were devouring the sticks which were piled up in a bonfire. The fire was contained and someone was waiting for us. We all looked at each other in shock. What should we do? A large "boom" was heard from our camp and a greyish smoke started to rise to the sky. I could feel my eyes and nostrils widen. What the actual fuck did just happen?!
"I'll stay here, they have to be around somewhere" Marvel's voice said behind me. We all nodded and I was surprised Glimmer didn't stay with the boy. I knew she was mad at him but not this mad. We started running back and this time it didn't take us half an hour. There was no need to be silent, they already knew we would sprint back anyway. The sight of the blown up crates almost made me break down. We had enough food to last us the whole game twice, and the supplies.. they could be lifesaving. Our sleeping bags and night vision glasses.. they were all just gone. Cato went feral and snapped the boy from 3's neck. He tried to tell us it wasn't his fault but he was supposed to guard the cache. A loud cannon was heard and Cato then started hitting the ground and screaming. I felt the anger taking over me completely, just like it did with Cato. I pulled out all my knives and started throwing them everywhere. They would be lucky if I didn't accidentally hit them with one, because I had zero control over my own body. After a while the anger started to fade and I silently fell to the ground. This couldn't be happening right now. We were so close to winning. I was close to winning. We gathered what was left, which wasn't much. I made sure to find every single knife I'd thrown and it turns out I can throw them pretty far away.
A cannon went off and we all froze. I saw Glimmer's face turn pale in only a second. We were all thinking the same, it might have been Marvel's cannon. No, he was capable of facing anyone alone. That spear was not a joke and I'm sure he could even take down Thresh if he got the chance. We dropped everything in our hands and ran back to where we had left Marvel. Another cannon was heard only a few minutes later. I turned my head and saw Glimmer running like she was in a fog. It was like she wasn't with us anymore. She started sprinting faster than any of us could keep up with, so we let her go while we kept an eye out for whoever made the cannons go off.
I watched as Glimmer fell down on her knees beside the boy. Maybe there was a chance he was still alive? I walked up closer to them and noticed the arrow penetrating his body. He was gone. My stomach dropped and I felt a lump forming in my throat. Glimmer's breath started to get shallow and I knew she struggled to breath. I noticed tears streaming down her face and it almost shocked me. Careers weren't ever supposed to cry about deaths. It was like a sin back home. She must've really cared about the boy to allow herself to show these emotions.
"Glim.." I said while trying to keep my own emotions in shack. I put my hand on her shoulder while I knelt down beside the girl and the now dead boy. The gesture makes Glimmer completely break down and she starts sobbing like a toddler. I had to do something before she got dehydrated. "What are you doing?" the girl sobs out as I close Marvel's eyes. "Look Glim, Marvel's just asleep" I said while desperately trying to not cry nor show any emotions at all for that matter. The girl stopped sobbing and silent tears were now dropping down her chin instead. It worked. I grasped her hand and gave it a squeeze. After some time Cato sat down with us. We didn't say anything, we just mourned the loss of someone who meant something to all of us.
"We have to go. They need to pick up the body" Cato whispered. I nodded and got up, but Glimmer didn't move an inch. She just stared at the dead boy. I nodded towards Cato and he threw the girl over his shoulder. She didn't try to fight him, just let him take her. He carried her all the way back to our blown up camp while I silently walked beside them. We got the stuff that was left and moved on to the old camp by the river. Cato dropped off the girl on a rock and we let her off the hook while we tried to find some food.
We didn't train to hunt animals, we relied on the sponsors and the thought of having the food from the cornucopia. I managed to throw one of my knives on a lizard who was sunbathing on a warm stone. It squeaked when the knife hit it but just a second later it was dead. I went back to the camp and started a fire. We were still outnumbering the others and we had to keep ourselves warm since we lost the sleeping bags. I grilled the lizard while Cato filled the water bottles and tried to collect some leaves to sleep on. The sun had already started to set and one more day had come to its end. I had lost track of how long we've been here. Not that it really mattered. I wondered if my parents were still watching after today. They would've been ashamed of how weak I've been.
I noticed how Glimmer wasn't sitting where we had dropped her off. Maybe she had to pee but I couldn't help but go look for her. I found her scrubbing her arms in the water. It wasn't alarming until she started to untangle her hair. I saw the way she moved that she was upset.
With my shoes and pants on the shore I walk down in the river. The ice cold water made me gulp as I moved towards the girl. I can see how her skin started to bleed as she tried to scrub it. She stands with her back against me so I reach for her wrist while kind of hugging her waste. "Glim stop, you're hurting yourself" I say. She stops scrubbing her arms and relaxes an uns. I let go of her wrists but turned her towards me. Glimmer refuses to meet my eyes. Her eyes are swollen and red but she had never looked so beautiful to me. I reached for her cheek and slowly traced my fingers on her beautiful face. She still refused to look at me and I knew why she did that. I heard the conversation she had with the boy right before his death. She wished for this but that doesn't mean she meant it nor had anything to do with it. Glimmer blamed himself for his death.
I slowly lifted her chin which forced her to look me in the eyes. They were so sad and I could feel every emotion she was experiencing. "It wasn't your fault Glimmer" I say. I can feel her body getting heavy and the only thing preventing her from falling was my arms. She starts to sob again and I hold her tight, allowing her to let it out. She calms down after a while and I stroke her soft hair. I noticed how there were no new tears streaming down her face, so I wiped the last stubborn tears of her cheek with a gentle touch. She suddenly leans in and kisses me. It feels like nothing I've ever experienced before. It felt.. like how others described a home. I lean in and kiss her back. The kiss is soft and slow at first but it soon gets needy as Glimmer pulls me closer to her. I break the kiss before I lose all control over my body. We look at each other before bursting into laughter. This wasn't really how I imagined our first kiss. It was even better.