Evelyn woke up with a jolt. Her heart was pounding and her breath came out in short, sharp gasps. She choked slightly as she tried to breath in air and beside her, she felt Joe stir. When his hand reached for hers, she squeezed it tightly and he could feel it trembling.
"You ok?" he murmured sleepily.
She nodded. She didn't trust herself to open her mouth and speak. She wasn't the only one who suffered nightmares in the weeks and months that followed that awful winter in the Bois Jacques. A great number of them did; their subconscious torturing them relentlessly with memories and the pain of those weeks and months watching their friends die one by one. For Evelyn, her nightmares were more than just the horrors of Bastogne, and the agony of watching her brother lose his leg and being unable to save so many of her friends. They were also dreams where she and Liebgott were back home in America. They were happy and her stomach was always heavy and big with the baby she was carrying, but then the blood would come again. There would be so much of it and it wouldn't stop. Liebgott would look at her with such hurt in his eyes, and he would tell Evelyn that it was her fault. He would tell her she was the reason their baby was dead, just like it was her fault that their friends were all dead too. And that was when she would always wake up; tears pouring down her face and her entire body trembling.
"I'm sorry," Evelyn whispered, turning onto her side to face Joe, who had opened his eyes and was watching her with concern.
"It's fine," he kissed her forehead and wiped away her tears. "I need to get up soon for guard duty anyway."
"I don't just mean for waking you up, Joe."
"Ev," Liebgott sighed, sitting up and running a hand through his hair wearily. "How many times are you gonna apologise for what happened? No matter what you think and no matter what your stupid nightmares try to tell you, you're not to blame for losing our baby. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but I'll say it every goddamn day if I have to."
"I just..." Evelyn's voice caught in her throat. "It just still hurts."
"I know," he reached for her hand and brought it to his mouth. "And maybe it always will, Ev, but one day when we get back home and we have our own little family it'll hurt a little less."
"Little family, did you just say? You're such a liar. If you have your way, we'll have hundreds of kids," she tried to joke, but she couldn't stop another tear that rolled down her cheek.
"Guilty," Liebgott grinned, lying down again and wrapping an arm around Ev so he could pull her against him. "And you're my wife now so there's legally nothing you can do to get out of it."
Evelyn's heart quickened excitedly when she heard him refer to her as his wife. It had been two weeks since they were married and it still hadn't sunk in properly. Perhaps it was because the wedding had been nothing like she had ever envisaged.
In order to keep Colonel Sink happy and to keep Evelyn's place in the airborne, the two had been required to marry. After all, a husband and wife being together couldn't be considered fraternising, and as long as they tried to keep their activities quiet and ensured there would be no more chance of pregnancy, Sink was content enough to let them remain together.
The look in Liebgott's eyes matched Evelyn's and she knew that he was thinking about the moment they had been declared husband and wife in front of the military priest and with Sink, Winters and Speirs as witnesses. There had been no rings, no guests, no reception, yet somehow none of it had mattered. All that mattered was that they were together and they couldn't be separated.
Evelyn had donned her dress uniform, just like Joe had and the twinkle in his eyes as he recited his vows choked her up. They were words spoken by thousands of people around the world every year, but they sounded so special coming from him. The sincerity and the emotion in his voice was almost her undoing and when it came to reciting her own vows, she struggled not to cry.
"You don't have to do this, you know," she had said when she told him of Sink's plan. "It's a lot to ask and I don't want you to feel pressured. If it's my time to go, it's my time to go."
"You aint going anywhere," he smiled, taking her hand. "I'm going to marry you because I want to and because I'm hopelessly in love with you."
And she could see it now. She could see it in his eyes and she could hear it in his voice. Not that she had ever truly doubted it. Joseph Liebgott was hers and she was his. Forever.
"What do you think your folks are gonna say when we get home?" Evelyn asked him. She already knew what he would answer because she had asked the question countless times, but this had become part of their nightly ritual when she woke up from her nightmares.
"I think that my mom is gonna slap me for not telling her I got married. That's the first thing she'll do. Then she's gonna grab you by the arm and drag you around all of the family and all of the neighbours and demand that you call her 'mom' immediately. She'll do nothing but speak to you in German so that you have no choice but to learn it, and she'll talk on and on forever about how I couldn't have married anyone more beautiful and that I'd better look after you or she'll murder me," Lieb answered. "And as for your folks... I can't proclaim to know what your parents are gonna say about me marrying their daughter in the middle of war torn Europe without them having even met me before, but I know for a fact that Bill is gonna punch my lights out."
"He might try but I won't let him," Evelyn lay on her stomach and looked at him with a smirk. "He'll grumble and shout and complain and god knows what else, but I know that once he's finished with all that he'll be happy for us. Well, happy for me anyway, maybe not you. And as for my parents... my dad'll probably give you a hard time for a while because I'm his baby, but my mom will make you a huge plate of food and then thank you for taking me off of her hands and ending her fear that I was going to end up an old maid."
"If I hadn't snapped you up, someone else would have," Liebgott smirked. "Hell, maybe Heffron woulda given things another try."
Evelyn just looked at him, guilt flickering across her face.
"I know you two kissed in Bastogne," Liebgott admitted quietly, holding up a hand as Evelyn opened her mouth to speak. "Skinny saw the two of you and told me. Don't worry, I aint mad, Ev. I wasn't even mad at the time if truth be told. Sure, I was a little upset but not with you. I was upset with myself for pushing you away and straight into Heffron's waiting arms."
"Hardly, Joe," Evelyn shook her head, relief washing across her face. "It was just something that kinda happened out of nowhere and it didn't mean anything. At no point when we were... when we weren't on talking terms did I ever have any feelings for Babe. He's my dearest friend and nothing more."
"I know," Liebgott cupped her face, brushing his thumb across her cheek. "None of that matters now anyway. You're all mine until the end of time."
"That I am," Evelyn beamed, pressing her lips to his gently.
"I wish we weren't bunked up with the rest of these fuckers," Joe huffed out a sigh as he turned his head to look around the room, where Luz, Ramirez, Roe, Spina, Heffron, Perconte and Bull were all sleeping soundly.
Evelyn shrugged, entangling one of his hands with her own. "I love you, Joe."
"I love you too," he murmured as she snuggled up against him on her side. "Now get some more sleep, ok?"
She nodded and was asleep before she knew it.
... ... ...
"The Cooperative for American Remittance to Europe, or CARE, has begun assembling food packages stateside to assist those European families in dire need, which is presumably all of them. So notes home to your family reminding them to donate whatever they can would be much appreciated."
Evelyn chewed absentmindedly on her nail as she listened to Nixon give the current events lecture. While she enjoyed hearing about what was going on, her mind was currently preoccupied with the fact that she was needed by Captain Speirs before they moved out again later that day, and as usual the look on his face when he had informed her of this had left her completely in the dark about whether it was something good or bad.
"I'm sure that you'll all be happy to know that Oklahoma is still playing on Broadway."
At this piece of news, George launched into song along with everyone else and poor Patrick O'Keefe, the baby faced replacement who hadn't long joined the company, had no idea that Luz had quickly signalled to the others to stop singing.
"And the wind comes right behind the rain," he sang happily, blushing when everyone began to laugh.
"O'Keefe, you sitting on your bayonet there?" Christenson chuckled, and Evelyn patted his shoulder comfortingly, feeling bad for the poor guy.
"Rita Hayworth's getting married," Nixon continued with the lecture.
"Oh Rita, say it isn't true," George groaned. "First we've lost Ev to Liebgott and now we've lost Rita."
Nixon grinned before moving onto the wartime news, which was when Eugene caught Evelyn's eye and waved her over to him. Patting Joe on the leg, she left hurriedly, wondering why Eugene was frowning.
"What's wrong?" she asked as he led her into an empty doorway.
"I just got a letter from Vera and she's broken her wrist falling down some stairs," he explained, and Evelyn could literally feel the distress oozing from him. "She said she's fine but I just... I wish I could be with her to see for myself."
"Well thank God you're not 'cause the last thing she'd need is you fussing over her," Evelyn tried to tease, feeling relieved when she saw a hint of a smile play at the corners of his mouth. "I'm sure she's fine, Gene, and she wouldn't want you worrying, would she? And yes, I know you're still gonna because she's your wife, but what good is it gonna do? Go and write her a letter back and tell her that as soon as you're reunited you'll kiss it all better, yeah?"
"You're so annoying," Eugene muttered, grinning openly when Evelyn nudged him in the arm.
"I know," she smirked. "Now go write your wife a really nice soppy letter; the kind that I one hundred percent know you usually send and go find someone else to worry about because if you don't I'll write Vera myself and tell her you're being an idiot. It's just a broken wrist, yeah? Knowing Vera, the wrist was probably broken months ago and she's only telling you now that it's healed because she knows what you're like."
"She wouldn't do that," Eugene frowned but she could see the doubt in his eyes.
"I wouldn't be so sure, Gene. I'm going anyway; gonna go find Speirs. Get writing and I'll meet you at the aid station before we move out. Oh and say hi to Vera for me, yeah?"
Walking through the town, Evelyn let her eyes roam across the buildings and she smiled when she saw two little girls pushing their toy prams along the street. It just seemed so normal and it was so innocent. Passing them some chocolate from her pocket on the way past, she gave them a wave before disappearing into the officer's temporary accommodation where she found Speirs waiting for her.
"You're early," he commented, rifling through a drawer of silver cutlery that somehow hadn't already yet been pilfered.
"Better than being late," she shrugged with a smirk. "So what did you need to see me for, Sir?"
"I wanted to have a little chat with you before we move out again," Speirs threw a handful of knives, forks and spoons onto a silver tray.
"A chat?" Evelyn narrowed her eyes at him. "What sort of chat?"
"Just a chat," Speirs murmured, reaching for the shelf next to his head. He picked up a silver photo frame and hurriedly tore out the photo inside it before throwing the frame onto the tray with his other wares. Satisfied that he had found everything he could in the room, he finally turned his attention to Evelyn. "So, how's married life treating you?"
"Oh swell," she chuckled. "We just got back from a glorious honeymoon in this quaint little cabin in Colorado, and last night we went out for dinner with our new neighbours next door. Let me tell you, she definitely married him for the money but who am I to judge?"
"Alright, smart ass," Speirs huffed out a short laugh before his face sobered slightly. "And how are you feeling about the other thing? About the... about the baby?"
"Fine," she answered a little too quickly, her face hardening in an attempt to convince both herself and Speirs that it didn't hurt like hell.
"Fine?" he raised a disbelieving eyebrow.
"Yep," she nodded. "Completely fine. It was for the best."
Speirs didn't believe for even a second; she could see that in his eyes. Walking towards the window, he glanced out of it, watching the men down below loading things into trucks.
"You're allowed to still hurt, you know," he said quietly. "And you're allowed to admit that you still hurt. I didn't call you in here to make you talk about it or anything because I know you're too stubborn to do that, but I just want you to know that the men care. They all care about you. They know that just because you and Liebgott were allowed to marry and stay here together that it doesn't take away what you want through. They want to be there for you if you'll let them."
"I know that," Evelyn whispered, blinking back tears that pricked at her eyes. "And I appreciate their concerns, and yours Sir, but I just don't wanna talk about it anymore. I just wanna pretend that I'm fine and just get on with my job."
"And so you'll hold it all in until we get back to the States and then explode? Because that's the best way to deal with your trauma?"
"Aint that what we're all gonna be doing, Sir? Aint we all just pretending that everything we've seen, all of the friends we've lost, the parts of ourselves we've lost isn't affecting us? Aint we all just gonna hold it in until we get back home and then we can finally process it knowing that our emotions aren't gonna kill the man next to us when the bullets start flying?"
"I suppose," Speirs admitted reluctantly. "You really do have a way with words, don't you? Typical of a Guarnere."
"Not anymore," she grinned, wriggling her hand that was devoid of any wedding ring and would be until they got back home to the States. "Can I go now, Sir? Eugene's in a tiz about something and I don't wanna leave him alone."
"You can go," he nodded, sighing as she disappeared hurriedly. He knew she was just using Roe as an excuse to escape from him, but he found that he didn't have it in him to press the point any further. Evelyn Guarnere, now Liebgott, would always do things her own way and he doubted there was any changing her now.
... ... ...
"You gotta hurry up and load that stuff up quicker 'cause we're gone in the next hour," Spina informed Evelyn as she rounded the corner and came into view.
"One hour?" she frowned. "But I thought we were leaving later this afternoon?"
"Plans changed, sweet cheeks," Spina smirked. "Three hundred thousand Krauts just surrendered."
"What?" Evelyn breathed. "That mean the whole German army's gonna surrender you think?"
"Who knows," Spina shrugged. "With any goddamn luck. Anyway enough yapping and more loading, Ev."
With a pretend scowl, she started helping the boys load up and allowed herself to think about her conversation with Speirs, as well as the one she had had with Joe in the night. The bleeding from the miscarriage had cleared up fairly quickly and naively she had thought that would be the end of it. No more physical reminders would mean no emotional ones, but she couldn't have been more wrong. When her dreams weren't torturing her, her waking subconscious was. She would be fine one moment and then the next she would find herself desperately trying not to cry while her mind took her back to it over and over again. She would think about whether the miscarriage meant that she wouldn't be able to ever carry a baby or whether she could even fall pregnant again. She would close her eyes and try not to think about whether the child had lost would have been a girl with her long dark hair or a boy with Joe's handsome looks. And then she would think about all of the men they had lost over the course of this goddamn stupid war. She would think about Muck and Penkala and all of the others and wonder why she felt the loss of her unborn and unknown child as hard as she had the loss of the friends that had become family to her. She would find herself feeling guilty for grieving the loss of a baby who never really even existed when she should be spending that grief on men who had families and sweethearts waiting for them back home.
Sighing, she swallowed down the lump in her throat and tried to ignore the confusion coursing through her veins. When she joined Easy, she had truly thought war and death would have been the toughest things she would have had to deal with, and in many ways they were. But who would have ever guessed that life and love would have been even tougher?
... ... ...
"It's gonna be good times, Web. When we get home I mean," Liebgott had to almost shout over the loud rumble of trucks.
Easy was heading through Bavaria and would be staying just outside of Landsberg for the night before heading into the town the following day. The scenery was beautiful and Evelyn had been sitting staring at it all with Babe as they talked about home and about the letter the latter had received from his mother that morning. She wasn't paying much attention to Joe, but in the periphery of her hearing she could make out what he was saying.
"First thing I'm gonna do is get my job back at the cab company in Frisco," Joe continued. "Make a killing off all those fucking sailors coming home, you know? Then I was gonna find me a nice Jewish girl with great big soft titties..." he smirked when he saw Evelyn's head turn sharply in his direction with a scowl. "...and a smile to die for. Marry her. Then I was gonna buy a house; a big house for all the little Liebgott we're gonna be making. But I guess I'll just be stuck going home with Ev instead."
"I might be divorcing you before we even make it back to the states," Evelyn warned him with a raised eyebrow. "Marry someone else like my Georgie."
"Aw Ev," George grinned. "You do say the nicest things. And while we're talking about titties, I'd give yours a solid eight; maybe a nine when it's that time of the month and they're a little perkier."
"I'll give you solid thump in the mouth if you carry on," she chuckled, turning her attention back to Joe who was smirking openly at her while George started talking to Janovec, completely unperturbed by Evelyn's threat. Liebgott winked and when Evelyn pretended to be annoyed with him still, he kicked her foot playfully, over and over again until she finally gave him a reluctant laugh. "Idiot."
"So what about you, Web?" Liebgott asked.
"I guess I'll finish school first and then-"
"Wait a minute. Finish school?" Liebgott frowned. "You mean all this time you've been talking about Harvard this and Harvard that and you aint even finished?"
"For one thing, I haven't told you anything," Webster sounded put out. "Yes. Yes, I haven't finished. So the fuck what?"
"All right, we'll let it breathe a little. Jesus. Fuck," Liebgott muttered, glancing at Evelyn who just shrugged. If she had a shovel she would have handed it to him so he could keep digging the hole he had gotten himself into. "It's just the way you talk, you know. We all figured that... hey, you know what? You're right. So the fuck what?"
Evelyn could tell that Webster was a little annoyed and she surveyed the awkward silence between the two men with amusement. When they both opened their mouths to speak at the same time she shook her head.
"So what did you study?" Joe asked, pulling a packet of cigarettes from his pocket.
"Literature."
"Get out of here. I love to read!" Joe exclaimed.
"Do you?" Webster didn't look convinced.
"Yeah. Dick Tracy, Flash Gordon mostly," he answered with a little grin. "Yeah, fuck."
"Evelyn, if I haven't already congratulated you on marrying such an intellect, then I'm doing it now," George commented, sending Evelyn giggling even when Joe glared at her. "Good job he's got a pretty face and just look at that glorious hair blowing in the wind."
Evelyn was howling at that comment, much to Liebgott's annoyance they continued to laugh about it the entire rest of the journey.
... ... ...
Evelyn could not hide her guilt as she watched Speirs yelling at some German woman to get out of her home while Liebgott translated. She knew that they needed some place to sleep for the night but she couldn't help but feel bad misplacing an entire family who might not have anywhere else to go. Apparently none of the other guys felt any such guilt, and as soon as the families were gone for the night, everyone started deciding who was sleeping where. Throwing down her bag, Evelyn was prepared for the announcement that she would be sharing with Joe and some of the others again but it never happened. Instead came something much better.
"Evelyn and Joseph Liebgott, the cutest goddamn couple in the whole of the Easy..." George cleared his throat.
"They're the only couple in Easy," Bull commented.
"That we know of," George answered. "Anyway, you guys didn't get to have a proper wedding day- something that will have to be rectified when we get back home- and you didn't even get to spend your wedding night or any of the following nights together. Well, you've spent them together but with us lot in the room and I know for a fact none of us have heard anything going on. So, if we're talking legalities here, then I'm fairly certain if the wedding wasn't consummated then you're not truly married. Which leads me to my point-"
"George, the war'll be fucking over before you get to whatever point it is you're trying to make," Evelyn huffed impatiently. "Can you hurry up because I need to piss."
"Alright," he rolled his eyes. "We decided that you and Lieb should have this place alone for tonight. Just to have a little privacy if you get my meaning. Let yourselves go and get rid of some of that pent up married frustration you've got going on."
"We don't have any kind of frustration going on," Evelyn scoffed, and she could feel her cheeks flushing slightly. "But I am absolutely going to enjoy not having to share a room with you and your snoring. Now if that's all fellas, I'm off to use the bathroom."
"You're welcome!" George yelled sarcastically as Evelyn disappeared down the narrow hallway. Looking at Liebgott, he winked. "Seriously though, you kids have fun tonight ok? If she isn't walking all skewiff tomorrow and grinning like a Cheshire cat then I'll have something to say."
"You'll have nothing to say about my fucking wife," Joe scowled, although everyone could tell he didn't really mean it.
"Wife," George pretended to shiver in horror. "Well, night Lieb."
Joe waved off the small group as they shuffled out of the apartment, and it wasn't until he heard the door close that he noticed Evelyn peek her head around the corner.
"It's safe to come out," he smirked, reaching out a hand as she walked hesitantly towards him.
"Thank God," she murmured. "I love George to death but I really don't wanna be talking about that with him or anyone else for that matter."
"That?" Joe grinned, yanking her hair out of its messy bun and letting it cascade down her back and shoulders. "You still can't even say the word. You're a married woman for god's sake."
"I don't care," she blushed. "It's just awkward."
"Awkward, huh?" he pressed his lips against her neck, right above her pulse point which was fluttering wildly.
"Joe," she breathed, closing her eyes and sighing when his hands unbuttoned her shirt and began to kiss every inch of bare skin, making sure to pay extra attention to her scarred shoulder.
Divesting each other of their clothes, Joe carried Evelyn to the bedroom, depositing her gently on the bed as his eyes swallowed her whole. She had gained some of her weight back after Bastogne and her fuller breasts begged for his mouth upon them which he was more than willing to oblige. Lavishing attention on both nipples in turn, his hand crept down to stroke at Evelyn's centre; his mouth forming a smile against her skin every time she let out a breathy moan of delight.
Joe was determined to savour her, savour this, their first time being together as husband and wife. His thumb pressed against her swollen bud as two of his fingers moved slowly in and out of her. Lifting his head from her puckered nipples, he kissed her hard and almost punishingly as he brought her to release, his tongue licking up her gasps of pleasure as his fingers continued to move, drawing out the sensations for as long as possible.
Lifting his fingers to his mouth, Evelyn watched through hooded lids as he licked them clean and she bit at her bottom lip wondering if he meant for the action to be as erotic as it had looked. Reaching for his face, she brought his lips to hers once more, licking at his lips and forcing her tongue in between them to dance with his own. One of his hands entangled itself with hers and he held it above their heads as he used his other hand to guide himself inside of her slowly. Evelyn's free hand ran down the length of his back before stopping to grip at his rear which was clenched tightly as he thrust into her until he was seated to the hilt.
"Ev," he grunted, letting go of her hand so that he could run both of his up and down her torso, rubbing his thumbs across her nipples before cupping her breasts and kneading them. His movements inside of her were slow and leisurely and when he looked into her eyes he could see tears forming in them. Stilling immediately, he frowned and captured a falling tear with his thumb as he cupped her face. "Am I hurting you?"
"No," she shook her head, holding her hand over his and turning her head to kiss his palm. "I just feel... overwhelmed. Not in a bad way; I'm just... I'm so happy with you and then on the other hand I'm sad about and hurting about the baby and Bill and our friends and this whole damn mess. I feel so lucky to have you here with me and I still think I feel shocked that Sink let us stay together. I guess that it's kind of just hitting me now that we really are married, and I just love you so much."
"I feel the same way, baby," Joe kissed the tip of her nose. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else or anything else in my entire life. Being with you and loving you is the only thing that has gotten me through this whole damned war so far, and we're near the end now. Just a little while longer and we can go home and start our life properly together."
Smiling, Evelyn leaned down to nip at his neck before suckling gently on his ear lobe, grinning when it made his hips buck against hers. They kissed, inhaling each other and becoming each other's air as their bodies melded together and moved in sync until they were both over the edge and panting in the sweet bliss of release.
That night as they slept wrapped up in each other's arms, they had no idea of the horrors awaiting them in Landsberg.