30th January, 1944
It had been five days since Evelyn had arrived in Bastogne. Three and a half of those days had been very long and very boring for the most part. Dutifully, and rather reluctantly, she had been the model patient and remained in bed for fear of upsetting Renee. Angry Renee was truly a force to be reckoned with as they had all witnessed just a few days ago, when a soldier, who apparently was feeling much better, decided to try and get a little amorous with the Belgian beauty and had pinched her on the rear. Renee had turned on him like a rabid dog. The language that came out of her angelic looking mouth would have likely made a sailor blush, and Evelyn was astounded that a woman who spoke English as a second tongue knew so many coarse words and phrases.
Evelyn had spent a little over two years constantly surrounded by men (not to mention a lifetime with much older siblings) and even she hadn't heard half of Renee's colourful phrases before. Needless to say, the man was properly contrite after his telling off and everyone else within the vicinity was terrified to anger the blonde-haired beast. Even Lieutenant Welsh, who reminded Evelyn a lot of George with his impish grin and witty comments, kept his mouth shut and pretended to be asleep for the first couple of hours after the whole incident.
Evelyn's eventual salvation came in the form of one grey haired Colonel who had arrived only the day before to jauntily inform them that they were able to now get some of the wounded out of Bastogne. Smokey had taken priority, given that he was completely paralysed, and so had Lieutenant Welsh. Despite Renee's expert care, his leg was showing signs of becoming infected and with the rapidly diminishing supplies in Bastogne, it was thought to be better that he received treatment at a proper field hospital. Much to Renee's dismay, Evelyn managed to persuade Colonel Sink that she was feeling much better and that her shoulder was healing well. She told him that she felt ready to go back to the line as soon as possible. And why should Colonel Sink not believe her when she told him that her wound was nowhere near as serious as first thought? She was after all a medic and therefore she knew what she was talking about. So it was decided that Evelyn would stay in Bastogne for a few more days, just doing light duties to get her back into the swing of things before heading back to the line the day after new year.
Two days into said light duties and Evelyn was feeling extremely unfulfilled. She kept reminding herself that no matter how mundane the task, it was far better than lying in a bed all day wanting to pull her hair out. But the problem was that Renee had sought her revenge on Evelyn for wriggling her way out of leaving Bastogne, and as such Evelyn found herself doing the most boring jobs known to mankind. It was strange to think that at one time, when she had first found herself plunged into this unknown world of the military, she had craved the peace and quiet of sorting through supplies and sterilising equipment. Now, though, she found herself wanting to be back running around ragged and back in the thick of the action.
"Ok, that's the last one," Evelyn flung the neatly rolled bandage into the crate with a sigh. "Now what can I do? And for the love of God, please don't make me polish the windows like you did yesterday afternoon. I don't care what you say. There is no way on earth that the men who are lying here wounded give a flying monkeys about whether there's a teensy little smudge on the glass or not. They're just grateful that they've even got glass, given the state of every other building in Bastogne."
"In that case you can empty all of the bed pans instead," Renee smirked.
"If I didn't like you, I'd call you every name under the sun," Evelyn tittered, scowling at Renee.
"Also, I'm in charge here so you know that calling me any kind of name would get you into a lot of trouble," Renee grinned. "Listen, I'm tired. Everyone is almost asleep and there is a bar of chocolate in my pocket that I am certain has our names written all over it. Shall we take a small break for a few minutes?"
"If you absolutely insist," Evelyn pretended to be perturbed by the idea. Grimacing slightly, she rotated her shoulders which had gone stiff from sitting in the same position for so long.
"I really don't think you should be going back to the line so soon," Renee sighed, watching her through narrowed eyes.
"Look, I know you're gonna miss having me around. And let's face it, who wouldn't? But I need to get back to the men, and my wound is nothing compared to some of the ones the others have had, and lotsa them were back sooner than me."
"Oh really," Renee glanced at her doubtfully.
"Yeah really," Evelyn nodded forcefully, holding out her hand for some chocolate.
"You know, I will miss having you around actually," Renee spoke a few minutes later as the two were munching away in contented silence. "You're extremely annoying but it is nice having another female to talk to."
"Uh, you do know that Anna's a female, right?" Evelyn leaned forward and whispered inconspicuously. Anna was one of the other nurses that helped treat the wounded. All Evelyn knew about her was that she came from somewhere in Africa, and that she was somewhat quiet but very fast and efficient at her job.
"Yes," Renee answered with an impatient roll of her eyes. "But she is very distant. She works almost constantly and never complains. I know that she came here from the Congo a few years back, and I know that she wishes to return there when this is over. But that is it. She reveals nothing about herself. Imagine being with somebody almost twenty four hours a day, seven days a week for over a year and not knowing anything about them."
"Why do you think that is?" Evelyn wondered. Come to think of it, now that it was mentioned, she thought she understood where Renee was coming from. While Evelyn had never really said more than a passing greeting to her, she thought that was because of the language barrier. But could it be something more? "Perhaps she's just shy?"
"This is also what I thought at first. As the days passed and she still remained closed off I began to think it was something else. Unfortunately I was proved right when only a few weeks after her arrival, we had two British medics sent to help us. Both could speak French, but neither would talk to Anna. Instead, whenever she was near they would make a point to speak in English so that she could not understand them. They would say such awful things about her, about the colour of her skin. They would say that she was dirty, that she was a barbarian. It was terrible. I should have said something to them, but I didn't. I suppose I just thought that whatever Anna didn't know couldn't hurt her. But I was wrong. This behaviour continued for weeks until one day a wounded civilian child came in. It took all of us to try and stem the blood flow from her injury, but she was almost a lost cause from the very moment she came through our doors. Sadly, the girl died and one of the medics took it extremely personally. He was only young and witnessing the death of a child is never easy for anybody. Feeling sympathy and understanding for his pain, once she had cleaned the child up ready for burial, Anna sought out the young medic. I watched as with such tenderness and caring, she reached out and took his hand. Immediately though, he snatched it away from her as if it had burnt him, and the look of disgust in his eyes was such as I have never seen from one human to another. He went to the wash basin and he scrubbed that hand until the skin was almost starting to peel off. The hurt in Anna's face was indescribable. And from that moment on it was like she made a pact with herself to focus only on her work."
Looking up, Evelyn caught sight of the ebony skinned woman checking on the men who were still awake. Like Renee, she seemed to have a calming effect on the men, and she would often sing them songs from her country. Although the men did not understand the words, the melodic tones and tunes seemed to calm them. If any of them felt the way the British medics had, none had ever shown it. They treated Anna with respect and Evelyn had never heard one of them say a bad word about her. She would be lying if she said that she had not been shocked to see a woman of colour being so openly accepted here in Bastogne when she first came. Back home in Philly, the black community was set apart from everyone else. The colour of their skin, to most people, somehow meant that they were second class citizens. In Evelyn's particular neighbourhood, which was full mostly of Italian immigrant families such as her own, black people were never made particularly welcome if they strayed into the area. At the age of nine, Evelyn remembered walking back home from the bakery with Gina when they saw a young black man being beaten up by four or five youths from their street. When Evelyn, distraught and disturbed by what she was witnessing, had suggested that they stop to help the man, Gina had grabbed her firmly by the arm and dragged her all the way home. She had told Evelyn to keep her nose out of it lest she get them both in trouble too from those youths, and that when she was older she would understand. She understood completely now why Gina had done it, but it still left a sour taste in her mouth whenever she thought back to that afternoon. The colour of a person's skin didn't mean that they were any different from anyone else, yet people had such an issue with it. To segregate someone or treat them differently from another person due to their race, religion or nationality was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. Especially in a country like her own that proclaimed to welcome and respect everyone; a country that prided itself on being the land of the free and embracing everyone; a country that had fought a war over such a thing. Yet it seemed even the US Military willingly segregated people of colour. She had seen this first hand back in Aldbourne when they were around different branches of the military. The black soldiers were always set apart from everyone else. They were always given the grunt jobs and never promoted up higher in the ranks. A lesser man would be promoted just for the simple fact that his skin was white. It made no sense.
"Does she know that you don't feel the same way about her as those medics did?"
"I tried to speak to her about it a few times," Renee replied. "I think she knows that my views are very different from theirs, but she still refuses to divulge anything more about herself. There is nothing more I can do really. I can't say that I understand how it feels to be in her position. I can't understand how much it must hurt her, therefore I must leave her be. I am hopeful that one day though she might let me in. However I think it is most probably an empty dream of mine."
"You know what they say? Never say-"
Evelyn's sentence was cut off abruptly as suddenly the earth beneath her feet began to tremble, and the rickety wooden chair she was sitting on threatened to collapse. In the near distance the rumble of airplanes sounded, followed swiftly by explosions that rattled the foundations of the church. Evelyn and Renee glanced at each other in panic as they quickly realised that Bastogne was being bombed.
"Quickly, let's move everyone into the main hall," Renee ordered.
"Do you think that's a wise idea?" Evelyn wondered out loud.
"Of course," Renee nodded sharply. "We are in the basement which is the safest place to be. If we can get everyone together in the same room then we will be able to just wait for the bombing to stop."
Evelyn personally disagreed. She knew that for the duration of this war, people throughout Europe had been huddling together in bomb shelters but it just didn't sit right with her. In her head, it made more sense to be separated into a few rooms in case one of them should be bombed. Then at least the people who were safe could help those who were not. But Renee was in charge, and she wasn't going to argue with her. There wasn't the time for that.
It turned out that there wasn't time for anything. Without awaiting Evelyn's reply, Renee ran off to begin moving the men from the smaller vestries when an explosion tore through the back part of the building. Evelyn shouted for those who were able to move to get out of the church as fast as they could. Through the clouds of smoke, she could hear Renee and Anna repeating the same. Satisfied that they were both well, she turned her attention to the men closest to her who were still bedbound, trying to hurriedly decide who to remove first.
... ... ...
Evelyn gritted her teeth and pulled the soldier out by his arms, coughing and spluttering as the smoke from the fire filled her lungs. The intensity of the heat radiating from the flames made her feel as though her skin was melting off, and the brightness of it pierced her eyes. Gasping for breath and wheezing, she dragged the soldier as far away from the burning building as she could. She searched for somewhere safe to take him but all around her the town of Bastogne was a blazing and crumbling wreck. The buildings that had survived previous onslaughts had finally given up. Dragging her patient across the road, far away from the creaking church that was threatening to crumble to pieces at any moment, she laid him down with the others and tried to catch her breath. She was sweating with exertion and also pain. Heck, she struggled dragging men that were almost double her size before she was wounded, but now it was like torture. With a big sigh, she stared down at the man who looked to be completely out of it and probably wouldn't have known any different if she told him he was on the Titanic.
Catching sight of Anna to her left, Evelyn headed towards her. The rear of the church was covered in flames that were quickly engulfing the rest of the small building. With relief, Evelyn took the quiet woman's hand and squeezed it, happy that she was safe from harm. In the disorder of civilians running in and out of the church to help them move the wounded, she had lost sight of the other two women, focusing solely on her own task. Anna looked as though she wanted to pull away but she didn't. Her discomfort was obvious though so Evelyn just gave her a small smile and let her continue tending to the men as best she could on the roadside. Amidst the chaos and smoke, there was one person that Evelyn couldn't see anywhere. She began to panic. Where was Renee? She had been behind them as they came up the stairs she was sure, but Evelyn's focus had been on pushing through the agony tearing through her shoulder and getting her patient out into the veritable safety of the street. Why hadn't she made sure Renee was still right behind her? Calm down Evelyn. She'll be fine. She's probably just somewhere you can't see her. Yet even as she tried to reassure herself, her stomach gnawed nauseously.
Looking once more at the crowd gathered on the road, she was certain that Renee was nowhere to be seen. There was nothing more for it. She was going to have to go back for her. Even as the building creaked loudly in warning, she ignored it. She couldn't just leave Renee stuck in there. Grabbing a dirty blanket from the floor, she put it over her head and ran for the door.
"Renee!" she called out, coughing as the smoke choked her. "Renee! Are you here?"
She made it no more than halfway down the stairs to the basement when a wooden beam from the ceiling above her came crashing to the ground, missing her by mere inches. She was coughing; feeling lightheaded, but she had to get to Renee.
"Christ alive, what the bloody hell are you doing?" a British soldier asked in a strong London accent. "Are you trying to get yourself killed, Miss? You need to get out of here now."
"I can't," Evelyn coughed. "I think there's a nurse in here. I can't find her outside and if she's in here I can't leave her."
"Let me get this right," the soldier frowned at her. "You're in here looking for a nurse that you suspect may be in here? But you don't know for sure? Are you stark raving mad?"
"No, but I will be in a minute if you don't move outta my way, pal," she growled, trying to push past him.
"Aidez-moi! Help!"
"Renee!" Evelyn yelled right down the soldier's ear causing him to grimace.
"Evelyn!" Renee's muffled voice shouted from what sounded to be the smaller vestry. "I can't get out! There's something blocking the door. Please help me!"
"Whoa whoa, where do you think you're going?" the soldier chased after her as she jumped over the wooden beam to get down the stairs.
"Well I think we've ascertained that the nurse I was looking for is in here, so what does it look like dumbass?" she called out over her shoulder. "Are you gonna help me or what?"
She didn't wait for the soldier to answer but the sound of his heavy bootsteps pounding down the stairs told her what his decision was.
"Renee, I can't see a goddamned thing," Evelyn shouted, wading through the plumes of dark black smog. "Call out to us so we can find you."
They followed the sound of her voice until they were right outside the vestry door. It was little wonder that Renee was stuck. Barring her way was a pile of bricks and wooden beams where an incendiary bomb had gone right through the roof of the church and through the floor, down to the basement.
"We're never gonna move this stuff, you know," the soldier coughed. "It's no use."
"I gotta try," Evelyn told him. He must have heard the desperation in her voice because he gave a great big sigh before starting to shift the rubble as quickly as he could.
"We're gonna get you out Renee, don't worry," Evelyn hoped she sounded a lot more optimistic than she felt. It was proving to be an almost impossible task to move all of the debris by themselves.
The smoke was getting even thicker and it was becoming harder to breathe with every second. The bombing was still going on overhead, and every so often Evelyn would give a quick thought to Anna and the other orderlies with the patients outside. She prayed they were safe. Not for one minute did she think about her own safety. The bricks and beams were shredding her fingers to pieces as she frantically tried to get to Renee. Behind them, part of a wall gave away suddenly and inside the vestry Renee screamed.
"Evelyn, please hurry," she begged.
"I'm trying," Evelyn reassured her. Come on, Ev. Faster. Faster.
"Listen, this is madness," the soldier grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away from the door. "We need to get out of here. This whole place is about to fall down around us."
"Well go then," she tried to shrug his arm off, but his grip was firm.
"I'm not leaving you here!"
"And I'm not leaving her!" Evelyn yelled.
The soldier ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. He was torn. He felt terrible for the woman trapped behind the door, but he wasn't about to risk his own life. And he certainly couldn't leave this slip of a girl here to die on a doomed rescue mission.
"Listen love, if we get out now then we can at least tell someone that she's trapped down here," he tried to reason with her gently. Her eyes were darting around madly as she almost bordered on hysterics. "Then once the fire's out they'll be able to go straight to her."
"It'll be too late by then," Evelyn cried.
Her chest was feeling tighter, only it had nothing to do with the fire and smoke. She knew that this complete stranger was right. They had to leave right now if they were to have a chance of surviving. But she was a medic for crying out loud. Hadn't she sworn to protect others at all costs? Even if that cost was her own life? Weighing out the options wasn't a luxury they had time for. Something the building reminded them of when it let out an almost painful groan. The only thing Evelyn could liken that noise to was the rattle that a human body makes when it's about to take its last breath. It was as though the church was alive and was drawing its very last ounce of energy in an attempt to keep itself together.
Before she knew what was happening, the walls around them began to crumble and without so much as a word, the soldier grabbed Evelyn and flung her unceremoniously over his shoulder. Kicking and screaming, she clenched her small fists and pounded him in the back, trying to do anything she could for him to drop her. She could hear Renee shouting for them to help her over the sound of her own shouts.
Evelyn and the soldier barely made it out of the church before it was completely swallowed by the flames, and she watched in horror as it collapsed to the ground with as much ease as a house made of cards. The soldier held her tightly around the waist, preventing her from running towards the building. In her state of shock, she couldn't think about anything other than the kind hearted woman who had spent the entirety of her adolescence helping others, yet there was no salvation for her when she had needed it most.
Evelyn wasn't even aware of the soldier sitting down on the roadside. She wasn't aware of the cuts she had received from the fallen debris. All she was aware of was her own grief and her own guilt.
... ... ...
Eugene stared at the pile of rubble and ashes that were once the church he had visited so often during their time in Bastogne. There was no way a person could survive being inside that building when it fell. Even so, he prayed to himself that he was wrong. As he began moving aside wooden beams and bricks, he caught sight of something familiar. Taking the blue head kerchief in his hands he let out a shaky breath that he had not even realised he had been holding. Squeezing it tightly, he closed his eyes in pain as he thought of Renee dying alone and scared. And then as his thoughts turned to Evelyn, who had suffered the same fate, he wanted to scream with anger. Quiet and calm Eugene Roe wanted to shout and cry at the top of his lungs.
"Mate, are you a medic?" a voice interrupted him from his torturous thoughts. He nodded once at the British soldier.
"Oh good," the soldier said. "There's a young girl over there who was in the building just before it collapsed. I had to drag her out of there. She was trying to get to a friend of hers but there just wasn't time. Anyway, I think she's in shock or something. I've found a blanket for her but she's still shivering and shaking. I don't think she's hurt apart from a few cuts and bruises, but it's hard to tell 'cause she's just sitting there like a statue. Will you have a look at her?"
"Uh sure," Eugene cleared his throat, pushing his grief back far below the surface where it needed to be. He had a job to do first and foremost. "Where is she?"
Following the direction of the soldier's pointed finger, Eugene's knees felt weak with instant relief.
"Evelyn?" he called out quietly. She sat hunched over with her arms around herself.
Nothing. No reaction. No acknowledgment that she had even heard him. She was staring blankly at nothing, in a complete world of her own.
"Evelyn," he tried again, kneeling down beside her. It was only when he touched her lightly on the arm that she eventually moved. She looked up at him. Her face was covered in black soot and there was a small cut above her eyebrow. Her left cheek was slightly bruised, no doubt from falling rubble, but aside from that she looked fine. She blinked. It took a few moments for her to realise who it was, but the second she did she flung her arms around his neck.
"I couldn't get to her Gene," she sobbed. "I just left her."
"And if you hadn't, you wouldn't be sitting here talking to me right now," Eugene tried to soothe her.
"So I saved myself instead of her? What kind of person does that make me?"
"Evelyn, listen to me," Eugene moved her so that she was face to face with him once more. "You know as well as I do that war isn't kind and it doesn't care who it takes. And for those of us left behind, we are filled with guilt. Guilt that we are alive. Guilt that we are glad we are alive," Eugene spoke passionately. "You tried your best and there is nothing more you can do. And that is all anyone expects of you. Renee wouldn't have expected any more from you."
In a rare move, Eugene pulled her tightly against him and kissed the top of her head. He found himself unable to say anything to reassure her due to the massive lump in his throat. As he held her, the smell of smoke drifted up his nostrils from her hair and all he could think about was how different it could have been if the soldier had allowed Evelyn to remain inside the church. Momentarily, his emotionless mask cracked and he felt tears well up in his eyes and spill over. In the early hours of the morning, the two friends held each other and wept.
... ... ...
31st December, 1944
It was a little after seven in the morning when Eugene managed to hitch them a ride back to the line. Evelyn had drifted to sleep on him for a couple of hours throughout the night and in the light of day she seemed to have herself back together. They both did. The emotional Eugene from the night before was once again locked away back inside himself, while Evelyn just did what she always did in the face of adversity; put on a pretend happy face.
As the truck meandered through the forest, only the barest glimpse of early morning winter sunshine peeked through the trees. Evelyn felt a rumbling of excited anticipation, but also nerves bubbling in her stomach. Would the guys be glad to have her back? Would they have missed her? Would they now see her as a liability given that she managed to get herself wounded?
"I can hear your brain ticking over the noise of this truck," Eugene spoke. "What're you thinking about?"
"Sorry," she smiled sheepishly. "I guess I'm just nervous."
"Of what?" Eugene frowned at her.
"I don't really know," she admitted with a shrug. "It just feels like it's been forever since I've seen everyone. What if they've all changed?"
"Evelyn," Eugene eyed her drolly. "You've been gone less than a week. I can assure you not much has changed at all. George is still annoying. Your brother is still moody. Malarkey can't stop singing Glen Miller. Muck and Penkala are still joined at the hip. Need I go on?"
"I get the picture," Evelyn muttered. "Speaking of my brother being moody, Lieutenant Welsh told me all about his behaviour. I'm not impressed to say the least. I think he'll be getting a smack round the head when I lay my eyes on him."
"He's not the only one who's been acting like that since you've been gone. A certain Joseph Liebgott has been snarking around even more than usual."
"Oh," was all Evelyn answered.
"You know he was the one that found you, right?"
She didn't know that.
"When you went flying into that tree, he was the one who got to you first," Eugene told her. "Once Ralph arrived a short time later, he said that Liebgott was on the verge of being hysterical. He was begging you to stay awake. Ralph had a hard time prizing you away from him when the jeep came to transport you back into town. Even after I got back from Bastogne and told everyone that you were going to be alright, Liebgott was storming around with a bee in his bonnet. Winters sent him to the back of the line for a day or two to help Vest with supplies. I think he was afraid that he was going to hurt himself or someone else. Especially when he decided to go on a lone Kraut hunting mission."
"He what?" Evelyn was dumbfounded. "Why would he do that?"
"You really need me to tell you that?" Eugene raised an eyebrow.
"Eugene Roe, you do remember all the things that he said to me, don't you? The way he used me?" she shouted angrily then quickly lowered her voice, remembering that the jeep driver might be able to overhear their conversation.
"I do," Eugene nodded calmly. "But I'm telling you Evelyn, there is more to all of that than meets the eye. Trust me, a man doesn't behave like that if he doesn't care about someone."
"And you're telling me that a man who does care about someone treats them the way he did?" she scoffed.
"Well obviously that's not what I'm saying," Eugene shook his head and sighed. There was never any reasoning with her when she was like this. "I just think that maybe you don't know the full story."
Evelyn huffed and folded her arms across her chest. Why was Eugene suddenly defending Liebgott? Just because he had been the first person to help her when she was wounded didn't mean anything.
"And before you start thinking that I'm defending Liebgott, that's not true," Eugene smirked at her. He could honestly read her like a book. "All I'm saying is that something just doesn't quite add up here."
"Well you're entitled to your opinion, I guess. But personally I think you're wrong. Anyway, can we please change the subject?"
"If that's what you want," Eugene agreed.
Not that they ended up discussing anything else because before they had even realised it, they were back at the line. Jumping out of the jeep, Evelyn glanced around while Eugene thanked the driver. Nothing much had changed. Not that she really expected it to. She had only been gone six days after all. In fact, everything was pretty much exactly as it was when she had last seen it. Snow. Trees. Fog. As the jeep drove away, two figures appeared through the mist. She smiled as she immediately recognised who they were despite the thick winter clothes they were bundled up in.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes? I thought we had managed to get rid of you but looks like we weren't so lucky after all," Nixon grinned, taking a long drag on his cigarette. If he had looked unkempt when she had at least seen him, he was positively caveman like now.
"Ignore him," Captain Winters smiled. Despite the cold chattering of his teeth, his blue eyes were still radiating the same warmth they always did. And ever the opposite of Nixon, Winters was still perfectly groomed and put together. His gaze lingered on her bruised cheekbone and he sighed. "We heard about what happened in Bastogne from Colonel Sink in the very early hours of this morning. I'm pleased to find you alive and well. I will admit that when we were told about the severity of the bombing, we feared the worst."
"Huh, you might have," Nixon snorted to himself. "But I knew that she'd return to us. And even if she hadn't returned to us alive, she would have come back and haunted us. She enjoys the power she has when it comes to telling everyone what to do. There's no way she would leave all that behind."
"You know me too well," she said, her voice catching slightly as she tried to forget the image of the church collapsing and the sounds of Renee's desperate cries for help. Beside her, she felt Eugene and she drew strength from his closeness. He understood.
Captain Winters narrowed his eyes at her. For a moment, it looked as though he wanted to say something more but then he just pulled his khaki scarf tighter around his neck and nodded.
"The men have not long moved up a little to the west, closer towards the town of Foy," he said. "If you're quick, you might find that there is some breakfast left over. Then again, I wouldn't hold your breath. There hasn't been all that much to go around."
"Don't worry about me, Sir," she smiled, even as her stomach gurgled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten since the evening before when she had shared the chocolate with Renee. Despite her body behaving otherwise, she didn't actually have much of an appetite. All she wanted was to be back in the heart of Easy Company, surrounded by the men she cared about.
... ... ...
The first person she came across was George. Out on the perimeters of the encampment, he was sitting alone on a tree stump, fiddling about with his radio. George was always fiddling about with his radio. As he had once told Evelyn, a radio man who failed to give constant care and attention to his radio was as much use as a medic who never stocked up on supplies. It did make sense really.
"I'll meet you in camp," Eugene murmured.
Nodding, Evelyn walked slowly towards George while Eugene disappeared through the thicket of trees. George looked tired. More tired than he had ever looked before. He had dark circles under his eyes and his brown hair was longer than she had ever seen. It was getting so long that strands were almost in his eyes.
"Can a guy not get a moment of peace out here?" he sighed, hearing the footsteps approaching him, but not even so much as glancing up to see who it was.
"Is that any way to talk to your best friend?"
George's head shot up and the radio fell to the ground with a clunk. Staring at her almost in awe, he lifted a hand to touch her but then dropped it before making contact.
"Evelina Peccorina," he breathed, and she saw that his eyes had gone glassy.
"In the flesh," she grinned. "Missed me, Georgie Porgie?"
Suddenly, George let out a laugh and picked her up, spinning her around until they both went flying to the snowy carpet beneath their feet.
"Shit, are you ok?" George panicked. But to his surprise Evelyn just laughed. God, her shoulder felt like it was on fire from the impact but she didn't care. She was just so damned happy. Before George knew it, he was laughing too. "Come on, let's get you up and find the others. They're gonna be jumping for joy when they see you."
"In a minute," she answered. "But first let's make some snow angels."
"What?"
"Snow angels," Evelyn repeated, seeing George's look of confusion. "You know. You lie down in the snow and open and close your legs then when you stand up it looks like an angel lying on the ground. It's fun."
"Yeah, I know what a snow angel is, I'm not an idiot," George frowned, touching his ice cold hands to her forehead. "Are you sure you don't need to go back to the hospital? 'Cause I think you might have a fucking fever and that's why you're behaving so strange."
"George, I've been cooped up in that place for days and last night the whole thing came crumbling down around me when the Germans bombed it. I just wanna take a moment to have fun with my friend and feel grateful to be alive. Is that ok?"
"I guess. I still think you're absolutely nuts though, but whatever."
... ... ...
"So uh, Liebgott's been a cranky ass while you've been gone," George spoke a short time later as they were just lying in the snow, taking in the silence around them before they had to get back to everyone else. "Well, crankier than usual. Ev? Did you hear what I just said?"
"Hm-hm," she mumbled. "I don't wanna know."
"Why not? The guy has been awful. I really think you being wounded bothered him."
"You sound like fuckin' Eugene," Evelyn sighed, closing her eyes to block out the bright winter sunshine peeking through a tiny break in the fog. "I don't wanna talk about Joseph Liebgott. I've already told Gene and now I'm tellin' you too, okay?"
"Okay," he muttered. Evelyn didn't need to look at him to know that she he was wiggling his eyebrows and pulling a face.
"What the fuck are you doing?" a familiar voice suddenly asked.
Evelyn opened her eyes to meet her brother's moody face as he stood over her. She smiled. God, she'd missed that angry, snarling look.
"Making snow angels," she answered flippantly.
"Yeah I can fucking see that," he answered. "But what I mean is why the hell are you here? Why are you not back at some field hospital in Holland where it's safe and warm? You're wounded, for Christ's sake. Instead, I find you and tweedle dumber out here prancing about like you're on fucking vacation."
"I resent being called tweedle dumber," George sniffed indignantly. "I'm clearly the cleverer out of us two, and you've really hurt my feelings."
"Shut up George," Bill scowled.
"Nice to see you too," Evelyn rolled her eyes, standing up with a groan.
She looked at her brother and waited for the scolding to continue. And waited. And waited.
"Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again," he suddenly said, his voice gravelly. "Otherwise it won't be the Germans you have to worry about killing you, it'll be me."
He pulled her into his massive bear-like arms and held her tightly. He was hurting her, smothering her but she didn't care. His familiar smell invaded her nostrils and she soaked in every moment of his arms around her. He kissed her head and pulled her in even closer, if that was at all possible.
"Well as beautiful as this moment is, I fear it's about to be interrupted," George announced, motioning behind them with his head, where Malarkey, Babe, Skip and Compton were all heading towards them with beaming grins on their faces. "Looks like we're not the only ones that have missed her, eh Bill?"
... ... ...
The snow crunched underneath Evelyn's boots as she wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the frigid air biting through her thin uniform. It was colder than she remembered it being before. She felt as though she was encased in a block of ice. It didn't help that she had spent the last two hours being hugged by pretty much everyone in the company. They had spoiled her with their body heat. Eugene and Spina had already made a point of telling her in front of the others that she was to do nothing for the rest of the day unless it was an emergency, meaning she had forty or so guys watching her every move. Bill was already driving her mad with his suffocating big brother act. He had almost given himself an aneurysm when she dared to try and make herself a coffee, and she had practically had to beg him to be allowed to go find somewhere to pee on her own. Thank goodness Lieutenant Compton had stepped in and ordered Bill to let her have a few minutes of peace, otherwise she would have been forced to empty her bladder in front of everyone, just so that her brother knew she was safe and well.
Bladder emptied, she dawdled somewhat on her way back to camp, trying to think up a way of getting Eugene to relax his strict rule on resting when she heard what sounded like footsteps crunching in the thick snow behind her.
"Hello," she called out. Why did she call out? Why didn't she just carry on until she was safely around people who had weapons to fend off any German attackers? She was an idiot.
"Evelyn? Is that you?"
Her heart leapt as through the fog, a tall figure came into view. Wrapped up in a long coat and scarf, Liebgott looked almost warm. Well, he would have had it not been for his red nose and chapped lips.
"You shouldn't be this far out from camp," he told her, throwing his cigarette onto the ground.
"Well, I kinda needed to use the bathroom. If you don't believe me, just look for the yellow snow," she sputtered out nervously. Internally she groaned. Look for the yellow snow? What is wrong with you, woman? Ignoring him would have been better. But how could she ignore him? Not when she knew that he had been the one to rush to her aid when she was wounded? Despite the hard face she had been putting on in front of Eugene and George, there was still a small bit of her that wanted to believe it had meant something.
"So uh, you're back then?" Liebgott ignored her snow comment.
She couldn't decide if it was a good thing or not. It sounded bizarre, but in the past he would have loved to rip into her about something like that. He would have teased her and grinned that grin that made her go weak at the knees. But now? Nothing. She reminded herself that she was trying to get over the guy. He had hurt her, and his aloof attitude now should act as a constant reminder of the way he had treated her. So why did it still hurt so much?
"Uh huh," she nodded.
"How's your shoulder now?"
"Ok," she shrugged. "Still kinda sore but I'll live."
"Yeah," Liebgott nodded. Evelyn kind of felt like this would be the point in an old western movie when a piece of tumbleweed would blow across the desert in the wind. It was more than awkward.
"So you're on patrol duty?" she said, stating the obvious. Anything just to try and break the silence.
"Yep."
The wind howled and Evelyn felt her teeth begin to chatter and her body shake. Goodness it was cold. She needed to get back to camp. At least there were warm bodies to huddle up to and try to regain a little bit of heat.
"God you must be freezing," Liebgott suddenly said. Without ceremony he hurriedly yanked off his long peacoat and flung it around Evelyn's shoulders.
"What are you doin'? I can't take this," she argued. She did want to take it though. It was warm and it had that musky smell that only Lieb had.
"I insist," he answered and pulled the coat tight around her, fastening the top two buttons to keep it closed around her. He smiled down at her and for a second his eyes met hers. She held her breath as they continued to look at one another. Her stomach lurched and her heart quickened. But the moment was quickly broken when Liebgott stepped backwards and cleared his throat. "I better carry on with my patrol."
"Oh, yeah," she nodded. "I should get back before Bill sends out a search party."
"Wouldn't want that," he muttered, and she swore she could see hostility in his eyes at the mention of Bill. Then again, hadn't that always been so? "I guess I'll see you around then."
Without waiting for her reply, he turned and began to walk away.
"Joe?" she called out. She waited for him to stop and face her again before speaking once more. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it," he answered, waving her off casually. "You need it to keep warm more than I do. Besides, the winter clothing rations should arrive any day now. I was lucky. Managed to get this when I was on supply duty with Vest."
"Not just for the coat," she said, taking a step closer to him. "I heard what you did when I was wounded."
"It was nothing," Liebgott shrugged. But Evelyn was sure that behind his façade of indifference, there was a flicker of genuine, raw emotion in those dark eyes. "It was what anyone else would have done."
"Ev? How long does it take to have a fucking piss?" Bill's coarse tone echoed through the woods. "Unless it's not just a piss you're having, in which case I guess I'll let you off. But can you at least call out to me so I can keep my eyes averted. No offence, I love you and all, but I saw enough of your shit when we were kids. I really don't need to see it now you're fully grown. And I certainly don't wanna have to smell it."
Evelyn honestly wanted the ground to swallow her up. Liebgott looked as though he did as well. Yet neither of them moved. They just stood, looking at each other. When Bill came upon them he did not look impressed.
"Aint this cosy?" he commented, eyeballing Liebgott and then his sister. "You're supposed to be restin', not gallivanting about."
"I went to the toilet and bumped into Liebgott on the way back, I'm hardly gallivanting," Evelyn rolled her eyes at her brother. She knew this was nothing to do with what she was doing and all about who she was doing it with.
"She's only been here a couple of minutes," Liebgott said in her defence. "I was just asking her how she was doing."
"Well that's a couple of minutes too long ain't it," Bill glowered. "And why are you pretending to give a fuck?"
"Bill," Evelyn gasped. "Come on, let's go back now."
"No, you'll go back while Liebgott and me just have a little talk," Bill answered, his eyes never leaving the man before him. The man who looked equally as poised for a fight.
"Bill," Evelyn begged, taking hold of his shoulder.
"Go now," Bill growled, shrugging her hand away. "I mean it Evie. If you're not gone in two seconds then I'm gonna-"
"-What? You're gonna punch me in the mouth instead of Liebgott?" Evelyn spat. "You're being ridiculous."
"Ev, go on," Liebgott said.
"Don't fucking tell her what to do," Bill turned back to Liebgott as quickly as a snake after its prey.
"But it's alright for you to?" Liebgott snarled. "You talk to her like shit all the time."
"And so what if I do? I'm her fucking brother. I can do and say whatever I want when I'm trying to look out for her. The last time I let her anywhere near you unsupervised, look what you did to her?"
"Unsupervised?" Liebgott smirked. "She aint in kindergarten Bill. And last time I checked, I wasn't the only one that hurt her, was I?"
"You shut your fucking mouth or I'll shut it for you," Bill leered angrily into Liebgott's face.
"Both of you can shut your fucking faces," Evelyn yelled, stunning them both into silence. Rare that it was for Evelyn to raise her voice, despite how frequently she lost her temper, when she did those around paid attention. "You should be embarrassed of yourselves, fighting like two kids in a playground. Bill, you're gonna come back to camp with me now while Liebgott carries on with his patrol and I don't wanna hear another peep out of either of you."
Bill opened his mouth, looking for a moment as though he was going to disobey her, but then like a miracle he closed it again. With one last look at Liebgott, Bill stormed off back in the direction of camp. Evelyn gave Liebgott a kind of apologetic half smile before hurriedly catching up with her brother.
Once he was sure she was out of sight, Liebgott walked up to the closest tree and punched it as hard as he could, gritting his teeth as pain coursed up his arm. It was a welcome relief from the pain he felt inside of him. He missed that girl so fucking much that it was slowly killing him. Every single day, he wished that he had ignored Bill's warning and just gone straight to Colonel Sink and confessed all about him and Evelyn. He wished that he could have been that selfish, because despite losing her position in the airborne, he would have made sure she never missed it. He would have spent everyday showing her just how much she meant to him. Seeing her lying on the cold white floor, unconscious and with blood pouring from her shoulder that day had made him wish it more than ever. But wishes were for children and dreamers, and he was neither of those things. He had messed things up and there was never going to be a way to change it.
... ... ...
"I can't believe you're defending him," Bill shook his head incredulously.
"I aint defending anybody. I'm just stopping an argument that's been had once already and doesn't need to happen again," Evelyn insisted.
However, that couldn't have been further from the truth. She was defending Liebgott yet she had no idea why for the life of her. She had completely cut both George and Eugene off when they had tried to do the same, but now she found herself doing it too. For some reason, she just could not stand the thought of Bill picking a fight with him when he had only been doing something nice. Which set her to thinking about why Liebgott would be behaving so nicely towards her. Was it guilt? Guilt that she had been wounded while they were still on bad terms? Guilt at the way he had treated her? Or could Eugene and George be right? Was there something going on that she didn't know about? Did it really matter if Liebgott hadn't meant what he had said back in Holland? Could she forgive him for what he said even if it had all been a lie? Just the very act of saying those things to someone were awful whether they were meant or not, no? With that seed of doubt now firmly implanted in her mind, she felt more confused about the whole situation than ever before. Why was it such hard work being a grown up? And to think that she had spent most of her childhood in eager anticipation of being an adult. What she wouldn't give sometimes to be seven and playing with the little poppet her Nonna had made for her. What she wouldn't give to slap on a pair of ruby red slippers like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and find herself back at home in Philly, far from the drama of war and men. But as her clunky Corcoran jump boots reminded her; she was no Judy Garland and life wasn't like in the movies.
... ... ...
Bill and Evelyn didn't discuss the little altercation with Liebgott for the rest of the day, and as midnight drew closer, Easy company gathered around a steaming hot pan of coffee to bring in the new year together. Even Lieutenant Dike sat with them, trying to act as though he was interested in the story Chuck Grant was telling about Talbert's eventful new years celebration in Aldbourne the previous year. Although, given that Winters and Nixon really were interested in hearing it, he was most likely just putting on a front for his superiors.
"So our Tab here, ever the charmer with the ladies, finds himself rather attached to a buxom blonde," Chuck grinned impishly. "And when I say attached, I mean sucking each other's faces off. So anyway, it's almost midnight and Easy's very own lothario is taking his lady for an ever so romantic waltz around the dancefloor. Hands were wandering, eyes were meeting-"
"-That's not all that was meeting!" Malarkey called out, nudging Tab in the ribs.
Talbert shook his head and gave a lopsided grin. Besides Evelyn, even Eugene was smirking. She wasn't sure if he actually knew the story, considering that he hadn't been there that night. If she recalled correctly, he had been working.
"So just as midnight approaches, Talbert pulls Davinia- was that her name?" Grant asked.
"Doreen," Talbert mumbled reluctantly.
"Doreen, that's it. Anyway, so Tab pulls Doreen in for a smacker of a kiss, when the next minute this huge sailor comes stomping in and taps him on the back. He demands to know why Tab's got his hands all over his wife and before we know it there's an almighty riot on our hands. There's fists flying, beer flying and all the while this woman is still trying to convince our Tab to go off with her. Anyway the MPs come and we all scarper. I can't find Tab anywhere, but the night is young so a few of us head to the pub for a couple of beers. It's only a few hours later when Johnny, Bull and me are walking back to our billet when we hear shouts coming from the end of the street. We go running down there and what do we find? Only our very own Floyd dressed in nothing but his birthday suit and boots, running down the street away from another woman's husband."
"We told Tab to hide in the shed at the back of the corner shop, and that we would distract the husband. We promised to bring him some clothes as soon as the coast was clear," Johnny continued. "Well this woman's husband was searching for him all night, and we tried our best to stay awake until the coast was clear for us to get to him. It was only when we heard the shop keeper's wife screaming about there being a naked man in her shed the next morning, that we remembered we'd left him there, naked as the day he was born."
As the group broke out into raucous laughter at poor Floyd's expense, Evelyn took the opportunity to sneak off alone for a while. She didn't go too far. She could still hear the merriment coming from the men, but she was far enough away to just feel a little peace. Sitting down astride the narrow body of a fallen tree, she gazed up at the stars in the clear night sky and thought about the past year. It had been a really mixed kettle. Some highs but a whole lot of lows. And she suspected that 1945 was about to bring a whole lot more. She just wasn't sure if she was ready for it.
"I thought I saw you disappear this way."
Evelyn looked up at the sound of Babe's voice. She smiled at him, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. Sitting down beside her, she heard him rifle around in his pocket until he pulled out a little silver flask. Unscrewing it, he took a sip before offering it to her.
"What is it? And more importantly where did you get it?" she frowned, holding the flask up to her nose and sniffing delicately.
"It's whisky," he answered, watching her with amusement as she took a swig and coughed as the strong liquor burned her throat. "And I don't know where it came from originally, but I won it from Malarkey two days ago."
"How did you win it?" she asked, taking another sip. It didn't taste as bad the second time.
"You don't really wanna know," Babe scratched the back of his head awkwardly.
"Well I do now."
"Uh, we kinda had a competition; me, him and Penkala," he mumbled. "Whoever could piss the furthest won the whisky."
"You know you could have just told me you won it in a game of cards?"
"Yeah, I'll remember that for next time," Babe chuckled.
Evelyn grinned at the sweet little blush on his cheeks. Sometimes he reminded her of a little boy who was desperate to prove he was one of the men. There was just something sweet and gentle about him. It was almost like he hadn't been corrupted like the rest of them. Not yet, anyway.
"So why you out here all alone?" he asked her.
"Just wanted some time to think, and it's pretty hard to do that with everyone around."
As if on cue, a burst of laughter sounded from the camp.
"Oh sorry," Babe grimaced. "I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll just get going."
"No, wait," Evelyn smiled at him warmly. "I didn't mean you have to leave. Besides, it's probably a good thing you came. Stop me from getting wrapped up in my own negative thoughts. It's just been a heck of a year, you know," she sighed.
"Tell me about it," Babe nodded. "With any luck, this coming year'll be better."
"I wish," Evelyn snorted. "But for some reason I highly doubt that."
"Evelyn Guarnere, I never took you for a pessimist," Heffron pretended to be shocked. "Wow this is a whole new side of you I aint ever seen before. Did they give you a personality replacement at that hospital?"
"Oh shut up and give me another drink," Evelyn rolled her eyes, snatching the flask off of him. She took a sip and giggled as some of it spilt down her chin.
"Three sips and you're drunk already," Babe grinned, taking it back and screwing closed the lid. "You're honestly such a lightweight."
"I'm not drunk," she scowled playfully. "I'm just clumsy."
"You can say that again," Babe smiled.
From the camp, the men cried out and cheered merrily as midnight came.
"Happy new year," Evelyn smiled.
"Happy new year," Babe said quietly, his gaze suddenly more serious than it had been only seconds before. He gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and lightly fingered the bruise on her cheek. His stare was intense. It was a look she had seen from only one other person directed towards her before. Her breathing quickened, and heart began to pound involuntarily.
With such gentle tenderness, Babe brushed his lips against hers in a butterfly of a kiss. Evelyn didn't know what to think. How to react. Taking her silence as acceptance, Babe placed his arms around her and pulled her to him before kissing her again. Only this time he was more certain of himself.
Evelyn knew she shouldn't have kissed him back. His kiss wasn't like Liebgott's. Liebgott's kisses were arrogant yet tender all at the same time. But while Babe's kiss didn't make her feel as though something special was happening, nor was it not unpleasant. It was just different. And in her confused tumultuous mind, it did the one thing that she wanted more than anything. It made her feel comforted and it made her forget.
As the melodic harmonies of Toye and Malarkey singing drifted towards them, along with the promise of better things to come in this new year, Evelyn gave herself over to Babe's kisses.
"I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day and through
In that small cafe
The park across the way
The children's carousel
The chestnut trees
The wishing well
I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you
I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you."