"Ms. Pauling? Do not tell me you too have fallen to this mailman's logic." The Administrator held her ground on the box, keeping the dart gun positioned as it was, now on Ms. Pauling.
"It would be much harder to replace you."
"Ma'am, I'd like you to hear me out." Ms. Pauling said, lowering her arms.
You took a moment to sit up, and from that position stand. 'You could defend yourself, thank you' is what your body language read as you stood beside Ms. Pauling.
There was the scoff- You could imagine it before it happened, but it was still so pronounced when The Administrator herself did it. "You're questioning my approach?"
"No ma'am. I'm not...this is the traditional way of going about these matters, however this is not a traditional case."
"So you are questioning my approach."
Ms. Pauling was silent for a moment, but just a moment. She had to reflect on how she was going to say this, but this had to be said.
"...Alright, I am. Forgive me, but...Y/n L/n—this mailman—has embedded themselves so deep with the mercenaries, foolish as it was, also unintentionally. But from this unintentionality, they've developed genuine connection. They had no idea what was going on, stuck their nose into our business, and consumed valuable time from our lives-"
Wow, was she still defending you? Didn't sound like it...
The Administrator seemed to have the same train of thought as you. "Yes, thank you; all very good reasons to end this."
Ms. Pauling shook her head. "Wait..!" She held her hands back up, knowing how The Administrator was, and didn't want to give her the chance to cock the gun. "If you do this, after spending the last couple of days with RED team, I know they would take measures to defy your orders, only making matters worse. They already risked everything to get y/n back, and at this rate, if you take them out of the picture, you'll need to replace all of them."
Man...were they really that attached? Now that you were thinking about it, maybe this wasn't a bullshitted answer like you thought Ms. Pauling would give on the fly...it sounded...genuine?
It was refreshing to hear, actually...refreshing to know there were others who cared about you. Cared about the mailman living in a rundown madtown, cared about you enough to travel you-don't-know-how-long to the Firepines, enough to find you and talk reason to you when you were at (quite literally) your wildest, enough to even offer to help you find somewhere that will make you happy...
They really did care.
That sense of it began to sink into you- You already knew they cared on a surface level, but now...you really knew. It was clear; clear to even the one who seemingly hadn't cared for your condition not even two hours ago. She "magically" cared.
Well, cared about the rest of them, really.
And now, in a sense, you are one of them.
As you thought about this enlightening knowledge, the contemplative silence hung in the air. The Administrator being the main contemplator here.
No one knew the real thoughts running in her mind, but you assumed it involved the impracticality of replacing the whole team...or maybe how she would deal with you in a manner that wouldn't rile the whole team. Sure, she could cover your death from one or two...maybe four more gullible ones, but others would know the truth and they wouldn't let it go. Which of those 'others' they would be, you weren't too sure, but you know they wouldn't let it go. At least not immediately..."not immediately" enough to piss off the old mastermind.
Her face twisted in thought—not too severely—but noticeably.
With a near-defeated, mostly annoyed huff, she finally lowered the gun.
"Listen here, Mailman, and listen good." The Administrator's voice had a venom hiss to it, specifically on your name. "I'm giving you an offer. A generous one. If you'd like to remain alive and in contact with the RED mercenaries, you will abandon your job—your entire life—and work under me. Solely me...making deliveries specifically for MANN Co. per my request. Until the day you finally die. Do you understand?"
Here was your offer; she would let you go from there...and still you weren't really satisfied with it. It sounded like signing yourself into the devil's hands, especially knowing how she uses the guys.
You stood there motionless, your mind trying to think but buzzing like an old microwave.
Come on, you have to say something-!
You hated being put on the spot like this.
"Ma'am, if I may interject-"
"You've interjected enough today, Pauling...what more do you possibly have to add?" The Administrator groaned.
Ms. Pauling looked as though she was going to retract her words, but she followed through. "The mailman could be more beneficial if you allow them to keep their current connections; have access to news, be engaged locally, and being the only one that travels to and fro the base, besides myself. Their very ordinary job as a mailman in Teufort—such a small illogical town—is a perfect cover-up already."
"You want them to replace you?" The Administrator rose a brow.
"No!" Ms. Pauling snapped back quickly...and coughed to cover up just how quick the reply was. "I just mean to say they are already living the perfect cover up, and in that town they have no real connections besides postal work, but even then, they don't connect with anyone. Even those they see frequently."
Ouch...wait-
Had she been stalking you or was this just her bullshitting? Not that she was wrong, but...ouch. You could connect if you wanted to, you proved that with the RED team, did you not?
"Alright..." The Administrator's voice stopped your train of thoughts. "Mailman, you may hold your current outside connections temporarily to decrease initial suspicion—but you may form no more from this moment on, and I expect those you have now to fade. And if wind of any of MANN Co's operations are released in any fashion because of this, no matter how it is done, you will be eliminated immediately."
You heard her, you were still just...quiet.
"Do you understand?"
"Yes." You blurted out the words.
After all this back-and-forth bargaining that happened, you couldn't believe you were getting that from her. From death to...another job?
"From now on, you will be known as The Mailman." The Administrator said. "Drop your name; let no one else ever hear it. Your connections you once had shall slowly become no more, and you shall limit the social circle you know to me, Pauling, and those nine. You will follow my instructions and deliver what I ask to RED base, no questions asked."
You strained slightly. The old witch was your boss now so nothing more snarky could come from you. Not out loud at least.
"...Yes." You weren't going to say "ma'am" though. She couldn't make you.
"Good." Rather than stepping down off the box, she turned around, having successfully hidden her face the entire encounter.
"Oh, and Pauling..."
"Yes ma'am?" She replied quickly. You noticed how she jumped slightly at her name being called to her.
"Cross me like this again...and see what happens."
"...Yes ma'am."
Judging by how Ms. Pauling looked down after that, you suspected she didn't pull stunts like this often. Not that she could afford to. You didn't even think her capable of it...or she probably would have seen exactly "what happens" much sooner.
In the time you looked at Ms. Pauling and then looked back up, The Administrator was gone. You hadn't even heard anything! What was that lady?
"Well...welcome to RED team, Mailman." Ms. Pauling spoke lowly, not quite excited.
You weren't sure what emotion you should be feeling right now, but it wasn't quite "excitement" anyway.
You shuffled your weight between your feet a little waiting for...some more solid feeling to arise in you.
And one did-
"Medic! Soldier-!"
They got shot with that dart-gun-thingy The Administrator aimed at you! Who all was in the kitchen still? What was in the dart..!
"Briefträger! You called? Are you injured?" Medic stepped out of the doorway, dart still in him. He looked down, pulled it out, and tossed it to the side like it was nothing.
"I am also here!" Soldier stepped into sight, right to attention.
"Wh...what..?" You blinked.
Again, they were stunning you with their lack of logic.
Medic tilted his head. "What? That thing?" He pointed a thumb in the direction of where he tossed the dart. Following the thumb, you noticed it landed in Sniper's arm, and he too, pulled it out and tossed it aside.
"You need not worry! It was just filled with tetrodotoxin! However, that was another poison I injested for some time to develop an immunity just for incase the consequences of my actions resulted in the apocalypse, however, that apocalypse was never brought about, much to all of your luck!"
You and Ms. Pauling both stared at him like the mad doctor he was.
"That...makes absolutely no sense." Ms. Pauling said.
"What about Soldier?" You asked gesturing over to him.
"As an American soldier, I became invincible and immune to such threats against my life out of sheer pride for my country!" Soldier held out a lump of some...meat? "The needle pierced this part of the snake you killed which I chopped up to save for later. Perhaps it will taste like pufferfish now!"
"Tetrodotoxin does not transform the taste of cuisine, you twit." Spy huffed and pushed past Soldier.
He walked over to you and Ms. Pauling. "So you are one of us now, Facteur?"
"You heard?" Ms. Pauling asked before you could answer.
"Non. I can make the assumption as the two of you are standing outside, nowhere near where we appeared, and actually next to each other."
"We also heard The Administrator!" Soldier announced. "I did at least. Did you?" He asked the closest persons to him, that being Sniper and Medic.
Spy rolled his eyes. He tried to look more observant than he was at least. More importantly, you knew he just wanted to be right.
It made you give a small chuckle, oddly. You don't know why, but...you got the feeling that maybe this whole working with Mann Co. thing was going to be alright. At least you weren't getting separated from these knuckleheads. Plus, you still had outside connection, even if The Administrator was expecting you to decrease it (which, you weren't...you can't stay cooped in one place, but you weren't going to tell her that) and maybe you could use that to help them branch out slightly.
Just slightly. Minorly. Like little trips and such...you know they can't make any major connections, but still...that didn't mean they needed to constantly be cooped up too.
"What are you smiling for..?" Spy spat out, "If anything this should be horrible news for y-"
Pyro shoved Spy out of the way, just about knocking him over, and they ran over to hug on tight to you. Again.
And again, the air was leaving your lungs rapidly.
"Th...thank you, P-pyro..." You patted them in thanks and a 'let go please' manner.
"Alright, Pyro..." Ms. Pauling patted them and they carefully let you.
Everyone began shuffling outside as Heavy was coming through the doorway. Looked like they all made it through...
Medic, Soldier, Sniper, Spy, Pyro, Demoman, Engineer, Heavy, and-
"Ms. Paulin'! Mailman! My two favorite people-!"
Scout ran up to you both and hugged, not tighter than Pyro, but certainly more awkwardly, as now you and Ms. Pauling were so close.
You weren't going to let go that she was trying to kill you some hours ago. Not yet.
She did just help you out slightly so...you guessed you would let this pass.
The second Scout loosened up, you pulled back though and stepped away from Ms. Pauling.
"I reckon everyone's unscathed, so I'd call that a win, huh?" Engineer beamed.
"Aye..! It's a win alright!" Demoman held up a half full bottle of gin. Seems he already got into his alcohol stash and soon he was bound to forget most of the happenings in the Firepines.
He'd forget it probably...
You? Probably not.
Probably not Ms. Pauling either considering she was not without car-
"Do we...have to get Mailman settled here?" Heavy asked.
"Let's...run everything down inside, shall we?" You said, stepping over to him and gesturing back at the door. Pyro waddled next to you, glued to your side once again. "There's...kind of a lot say-"
"Just one major thing really, if you're our Mailman now..." Sniper muttered.
"Okay, yeah. That. But...I'm sure we have other stories to share. You guys road tripped all the way over..?"
Demoman cheered, "Drink's on me everyone! I got something left...maybe...I dunno anymore-"
He stumbled and knocked into Heavy, but Heavy of course didn't waver. He picked up Demoman and nodded. "I have sandwiches."
"Oh, so now you're opening the sandwiches to everyone?" Scout said, following everyone inside.
Heavy shot him a look for that. "Not that I'm complainin'! No way- this is great, actually! You're so generous, honest..!"
And in you went to...not celebrate merrily, but it was a celebration of sorts.
Afterall, you are now officially "The Mailman."
________________
_____NOTES_____
Alright, now let me know you're thoughts on what you'd like the epilogue to primarily be about!: more Mailman and RED Team or BLU team pulling themselves back together? (I could potentially do both too depending on what the majority says, but I thought I could open it up for suggestions between the two...)
Thank you again to those who read and stuck around for the story/series!