I've never seen happiness
but I've seen your face
and I cannot find
the difference
Grace's pov
I was released from the hospital a month ago and commenced physical therapy almost immediately. I was also having to wear a ridiculously huge sling to support my arm. Therapy was excruciatingly painful to the point I regularly broke down in tears from the pain and frustration. Not only was I having to do therapy for my arm, but I also was having to regain strength in my entire body. I am in a wheel chair at the moment because standing up and walking is not only hard, but painful.
I regularly get cramps in my muscles whenever I try to move them to quickly without warming them up and often cry out in pain because of it. It's hurts even more because the members have to see me in pain too and suffer along with me. The helpless looks that come onto their faces when a cramp comes because they know they can do nothing, but comfort me and help massage the muscle. It also doesn't do anything for my self esteem except to lower it even more.
Physical therapy was three, even four, times a week. One or two of the members would go with me, but usually Jungkook went. I don't know why he's always so insistent on going with me. He has a life and he doesn't have to spend hours a day with me doing physical therapy. He says he promised to never leave my side and always be there for me. That doesn't have to be literal. But, he is very supportive and encouraging, wiping away my tears whenever I get frustrated because I'm so weak.
I was holding myself up on two parallel bars, arms trembling, as I tried to walk. My upper body have returned to their former strength, but my lower body is not cooperating. "I used to play around on the parallel bars at gym and try to copy what the guys did." I laughed bitterly. "Now I'm having to use it because I can't walk."One of my arms crumpled underneath me and I cried out in pain, my therapist caught me, "This is so frustrating! My body is not cooperating!" I cried out in frustration as Jungkook hooked his arm around my waist, helping me out from between the wood bars.
I leaned heavily on him for support, limping as we walked over to a chair. He set me down in the chair before placing his hands on my thighs and bending down to eye level, "Grace, it's going to take time for your body to remember." he cupped the back of my head. "But soon you'll be able to walk again, then run, then dance."
Impatient tears filled my eyes as I hugged him fiercely, unable to think of what I did to deserve him. "How can I wait that long, Kookie? I'm so depressed and frustrated."
I buried my face into the curve of his neck, and I felt his arms tightened around me. He kissed my head before answering, "I'll wait with you, Grace. I have an idea of how I can help you."
Pulling back, I looked at him curiously, "How do you plan on doing that?"
He just smiled, his arms enclosed my waist, "You'll find out." he giggled and poked my nose playfully.
Rolling my eyes with a smile, I hugged him tightly once more. "I don't know what I'd do without you, oppa." I withdrew and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
Something flickered in his eyes, an emotion I've never seen before, but vanished when he smiled wryly, "Then rest easy, for you'll never lose me."
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A few weeks later...
"Grace, I have a surprise for you." My eyebrows rose at Jungkook, leaning against the doorway to our indoor swimming pool, hands in his ripped jeans pockets. Abby and I stopped going through some therapy exercises to look at him.
He pushed himself off the wall and strode over to the edge of the pool. Wadding over to him, I crossed my arms on the edge. He squatted down, "I wanna show you. Come on." he jerked his head towards the stairs out of the pool.
"Okay but I'll need help out." I slowly treading the water, and walked up a couple of steps until I knew I needed support. Jungkook hooked his arm securely around my waist, helping me up out of the water. "You're soaked." I commented, taking notice of his white shirt becoming see through, molding against his toned torso.
"It'll dry." he responded nonchalantly, keeping a firm grip around my waist. "You're way easier to support than Namjoon." he remarked with an impish smile.
Slapping him playfully, "Thanks." a wry grin appeared on my lips.
I reached out for the table and grabbed my towel. "Need help?" he inquired.
"No, I'm fine."
He removed his arm and I proceeded to try to put the towel on. I carefully dried myself off before wrapping the towel around me. Proud of myself, I felt emboldened to go further and took a step out. Jungkook's face changed into worry, "Grace, don-!"
Wobbling, I stepped out again, confident that I could do it. I soon felt my leg crumple under me and expected to hit hard concrete but instead met Jungkook's concerned gaze. I looked up at him with wide eyes, him bent down as he cradled my body, preventing it from hitting the ground.
"Girl, you shouldn't have tried that." Abby remarked, walking up to us with a towel around her.
"I just thought I could." I stated, voicing my disappointment.
"Hey, one step at a time. You were able to stand for a while on your own and almost walked. You'll get there." Jungkook encouraged, pulling me up. Arm securely around me, we walked off. Abby was going to go outside to get some sun instead, so it was just Jungkook and I.
My leg almost gave out on me a few times going down the hallway to the elevator. Reaching it, an utter of dismay escaped my lips as I saw the sign saying the elevator was out of order. "This wasn't here before. It must've just happened." Jungkook mused. "We'll have to take the stairs."
"But how?" I asked, pushing the door to the stairs open, walking through with him.
In a split second, I felt my feet leave the ground and my body pressed against his, "Like this." My heart pounded in my chest, my arms wrapped around Jungkook's neck so I didn't fall.
"Oh." was the only thing I could say so I didn't sound like an idiot. He just grinned at me and proceeded up the steps. I gazed at his concentrated face as we went up. His stride was strong and sure, his arms holding my small frame securely. He stopped once to adjust his grip on me to make it easier to walk. I was held in awe of him, relishing the closeness of him, I rested my head on his chest and let out a soft sigh of contentment.
I removed one of my arms once we reached the second floor, expecting Jungkook to stop, but he continued up to the next set of stairs. "Jungkook, that's our level."
"I know." he glanced down at me.
Furrowing my brows in confusion, "Then why are you still going up?"
"You'll see." he winked and I rolled my eyes, fixing my arms.
We went all the way up to the rooftop and Jungkook used his back to open the door and walking through. He carefully set my legs down, and then used both of his arms to support my back. I straightened and met his direct gaze, his arms slid down to my waist, making my breath catch softly. I couldn't break away from his captivating eyes, my heart racing in my chest. His face grew closer to mine, and I found his heart was beating just as fast as mine through the palm of my hands that were resting on his chest. The moment lasted for what seemed like forever, and it was just us. A loud honk of a horn shattered the moment and Jungkook quickly withdrew, leaving me off balance.
Letting out a yelp, I started falling. His eyes widened and he grabbed me quickly, "Sorry."
"It's okay."
He swore before releasing a slow breath, "Close your eyes."
"Why?"
"It's a surprise." he whispered in my ear, snaking an arm around my waist and covering my eyes with his hand. He guided me carefully, "Watch your step." I giggled, making him laugh. We tripped a few times, almost stumbling over each other, eliciting laughter. "No peeking!"
"I'm not!"
"Yeah, right." he retorted.
Pouting, "I'm serious!" he laughed loudly.
He stopped and withdrew his hand, "Now, open."
Opening my eyes, my hands flew to my mouth, gasping. "Jungkook! You did this for me!" There, in a small section of the roof, was all the equipment I used for special therapy. Tears filled my eyes as I turned to him, "Jungkook, I can't believe you did this." my hands still covering my mouth slightly.
"Do you like it?" he sounded unsure of himself.
"Like it!" I exclaimed, bouncing happily. "I love it!" In my excitement, I stumbled a bit.
"Woah, be careful." Jungkook reached out immediately to protect me, almost like it was instinct.
"Yeah." Looking back at the equipment, "Can you help me over there, please?" in an instant he was there and guided me. I sat on one of the machines and started working my legs. "Now I can do my therapy at home as well!" a childish giggle escaped my lips.
He placed a hand on my shoulder, "I'm happy you like it. Whenever you want to come up here, just call me and I'll be here."
Stretching my arms out for a hug, he leaned down and enveloped my small frame, "Thank you, Jungkook. You've given me the chance to get better faster."
"Anything for you, Grace."
Little did I know how much he really meant it...
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Two months later...
Jungkook buying all that equipment for me rapidly increased my condition and in just a month, I was able to do simple dance moves again. I was doing the Stair Master three to four times a week to strengthen my legs. My legs would get tired easy sometimes, but my body is almost back to normal now. My dancing has slowly progressed and I've been taking vitamins every day and eating plenty of protein to increase my healing.
I had huge success today as well. I ran half a mile in out apartment complex today, something I haven't been able to do yet, so it's a huge milestone. To celebrate, Jungkook planned a picnic in a park tonight. I don't know where in the park or what the picnic is going to look like but I don't care. As long as I get to spend time with him, it doesn't matter. He said he was going to pick me up at 8:00 PM, and it was 7:00 so I was already getting ready.
I decided on a pretty floral summer dress (imagine the dress has off the shoulder sleeves) with slits in the sides. I fixed my hair in a half-up-half-down style and left my bangs out; I put on light makeup and some lip gloss to top off the look. Slipping on some white strappy heels, I looked at the clock and my eyes widened when I saw it was 7:55. Omg it took me that long to get ready?
Snatching up my purse, I double checked to make sure I had everything I needed in it before hurrying out the door. My phone dinged on my walk to the elevator. Seeing it was a text from Jungkook, I opened it up, and my heart raced at just seeing a text from him. There had been something hidden when he said we were having a picnic. I couldn't put a pin on it, but there was something there. Entering the elevator and pushing the button for the first floor, I opened his contact.
___________
Kookie:
I'm here
Me:
Okay!
im coming down rn!
Kookie:
🥰
____________
My heart skipped a beat. He's never sent that emoji before. It felt like my heart would beat out of its chest when I exited the elevator and walked out the door of our building. I took only a few steps before I laid eyes on him, leaning against his car, looking down at his phone.
He looked drop-dead handsome in his black outfit, his black hair slicked to one side, the sharp jawline. My heart did a little flip when his eyes landed on me, glancing down my body.
Holding my purse in front of me, "You look nice."
He smiled and walked over to me, "And you look absolutely stunning." he said breathlessly, making my heart race. He held his arm out for me and I gladly took it, smiling up at him. We walked over to his car and he opened the door for me, "Thanks."
"My pleasure, Grace." The way he said my name stroked my senses, sending warm tendrils through my body.
He opened the door and slid in, starting the car. He buckled up before turning to look at me. His gaze trailed down my body, making me hot all over. He directed his attention back to the road and shifted gears, slowly pulling out of the complex. Crossing my legs, I felt the crisp cold air on my bare legs as my dress slipped down, revealing the slit. I noticed Jungkook's grip on the steering wheel tighten and his jaw clench as if he was controlling himself.
During the drive Jungkook would surreptitiously glance over at me, making me feel things I've never felt before. The atmosphere in the car was heady, heat spreading through my body every time he looked at me.
"Where are we going?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"You'll see." In a few minutes, he took a right and pulled into the park.
He stopped the car and exited the vehicle, walking around to the other side and opened the door for me. I took his outstretched hand and he helped me out. But he didn't let go. He placed his other hand on my waist, "Grace, I can't say this enough. You look gorgeous." I looked down at me feet and blushed, "Thank you, Jungkook. You look very handsome tonight." He beamed when I said this, removing his hand from my waist.
Holding my hand, he took me a long ways into the park. "How far is it?" my feet started to hurt.
"Not much farther." he glanced down at my feet. "Why did you wear heels?" he raised an eyebrow.
Blushing, "I don't know. This is a new pair of heels and I haven't had the opportunity to wear them yet."
He stopped and looked at the back of my heels, scoffing at how red they were. Shaking his head at me with a lopsided grin, he scooped me up in his arms. "Jungkook, it's okay. I can walk."
"By the time we get there and walk back later, you'll be bleeding."
I had nothing to say to that. "Is everything already set up?"
"Yes"
He set me down when we reached a grassy area in a wide open space, perfect for star gazing. "You can take your shoes off now." he suggested. I gladly took off the wretched things and walked barefoot on the cool grass. Jungkook came up from behind me and cover my eyes, "I'll guide you. No peeking."
"Okay." I giggled.
"I'm serious, don't you dare peek." I could tell there was a smile in his voice.
"I promise I won't"
"Good."
In a few moments, he removed his hands and said, "Now, open!" My eyelids opened and I gasped in delight. It was gorgeous, everything was perfect. "It's beautiful, Jungkook." I rushed over to it and sat down on one of the elegant cushions. Peering up at the night sky, I sighed happily. Jungkook sat down beside me, "Thank you. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything grander, this was so last minute."
Placing my hand over his, stilling him, "It's perfect." I gazed softly into his doe brown eyes. He stared into my own, and I saw the same indefinable expression in his eyes.
He sighed, "You're so amazing, Grace. What did I do to deserve someone like you in my life?" he reached out and gently stroked my cheek.
"I was thinking the same thing." I replied softly, never removing my eyes from his.
His mouth tipped, "Glad to know we're on the same page." I laughed at that.
Jungkook opened up a basket and pulled out a bottle of champagne. Opening it, he carefully poured us each a glass. "Cheers. I'm not going to say anything else except for I'm so proud of you because anything else will sound cheesy."
Giggling, I thanked him, "Nothing you say will sound cheesy."
We clink our glasses together and drink. He hand fed me a strawberry, making me giggle, but some of the juice started dripping down my chin. "Oh my gosh." Jungkook laughed and quickly wiped it away. Swallowing, "I've never had such a juicy strawberry in my life." When we finished, I gestured for another and quickly downed that as well. Turning to Jungkook, I encountered his amused look as I held my glass out. Instead of refilling it, he took it away, "No more. I want you sober."
"Come on. Champagne is nothing." I whined.
"No." he said firmly.
I pouted like a child, watching him pull out a platter of small sandwiches, and another one that had pineapple, grapes, and some more strawberries. I ate sparingly, having ate only two hours before. Apparently he hadn't, so he ate much more than I did. Once he had his fill, I helped him put the food up and remove the table and candles so we could lay out.
Jungkook left to put up the food so it wouldn't spoil, along with the candles. I offered to help but he refused, telling me to stay there. He did leave the champagne and I waited for him to be out of sight before I greedily reached for the bottle. I struggled to open it for a little while, but let out a cry of triumph when the cork flew off, "Yay!" I giggled. I reached for the glass but a hand grabbed the bottle. Glancing up sharply, a stern, yet amused Jungkook was standing over me, "I had a feeling you'd try and do that."
"Please?" I gave him my best puppy dog eyes and he sighed, "Fine. I can't resist you."
>>>>>>>>>>>
Jungkook's pov
I left the picnic area to put up some food then remembered I had left the champagne. "She's gonna try and get some, isn't she?" Setting the stuff down, I headed back. Sure enough, I came right when she popped the cork off. Shaking my head, I jogged up to her from behind and grabbed the bottle. Her head came up quickly and a sheepish smile appeared on her face. Looking down at her sternly, "I had a feeling you'd try and do that."
Her crystal blue eyes changed and pleaded with me, "Please?" My pulse rocketed at that one word, knowing I couldn't resist her. I sighed in surrender, "Fine. I can't resist you." You make me weak inside, Grace. How do you do that with just one word? A single glance makes my heart race.
Her beautiful eyes lit up and she jumped up to hug me, "You're the best, oppa!" she kissed my cheek, and my face heated up. She took notice, much to my dismay, and giggled before pouring herself a glass. Her long blond hair fluttered in the wind, the moonlit sky lighting her face up, showing her ethereal beauty. I took in every second of this moment, but it was shattered when she looked back, confused, "Aren't you going to put the stuff up?"
"Oh, yeah, right." I turned and strode up the path, eager to get away from these feelings. I wanted to go further in our relationship tonight. I want to tell her how I feel but I have to do something first. Once I reached the car, I opened the trunk and set the baskets down. A cool breeze blew, letting me know it would get chilly as the night wore on. Shutting the trunk, I walked around to the backseat door and opened it, grabbing a large blanket for the two of us.
Tucking the blanket under my arm, I headed back. When I rounded the corner and reached the picnic area, I spotted Grace. She was dancing around, picking flowers in the nearby flower patch. She took my breath away. Savoring the moment, I leaned against the tree and shoved my hands in my pocket. Her hair fell in soft waves down her back, almost glowing under the moonlight. There was a delicate smile on her lips as she studied the flowers. My gaze swept over her body, growing warm as the wind blew, revealing her shapely legs. "God, she's so beautiful." I whispered, taking in her beauty.
Her head came slightly, and she stopped; her head turned in my direction and her face lit up. She began to walk towards me, my gaze trailing to the sway of her hips. Gulping, I managed to lift my gaze to her face. "Aren't these flowers beautiful?" she lifted them to her nose, taking a deep breath, the corners of her lips lifted.
Reaching out, I fingered one of the flowers before inhaling their lovely scent. "Yes, they are." I replied with a smile, gazing into her blue eyes, struck by her beauty. How can a woman be so beautiful? I thought, taking a seat beside her.
A breeze blew and I glanced down at Grace, who was making a flower crown. I took notice of the raised bumps on her arms, "You're cold." I remarked.
She glanced up from her work, "No, it's fine."
Not replying, but instead I unfolded the blanket and placed it around her shoulders. Her head came up, searching my eyes, "Thanks." She had already finished her work and placed it on her head, "How does it look?" she turned to me with a smile.
Chuckling, I leaned over and corrected the tilted crown, "Perfect." I stared at her for a moment, unable to help myself. I watched her cheeks grow pink under my gaze.
Shaking my head, I looked up at the night sky, thankful for the breeze that cooled the fire in my belly. "Jungkook, I don't want you to catch a cold." My attention turned to her, heart flipping as she scooted closer, wrapping the other corner around me. "There, now we both will be warm." she cuddled up next to me, looking up at the stars.
My breath hitched, her hand brushing against my thigh. She was close, too close. The scent of her perfume was intoxicating, the feeling of her body next to mine created heady thoughts in my mind. We were alone, in a park with no one around. It be easy to take advantage of her, too easy, and I didn't want to do that.
Against my better judgment, I slipped my arm around her waist, pulling her closer. For a moment I could pretend she was mine, us being together like this felt so right. Grace's head rested on my chest, her hair glowing in the moonlight and I couldn't resist running my hands through it. Fingering a strand, I was amazed at how silky it was. Letting it fall, I studied the sky for a moment, "What do you see?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Stars." she replied with a wry grin.
Rolling my eyes, "Of course you see stars. You know what I mean."
Grace giggled, "I know."
"Then what do you see?"
"I'm trying to see if I can identify any constellations. The sky here isn't really the same as it is back home in Texas."
Pointing to two stars, I told her the story of Jikneyo and GyeonWoo. She listened raptly, nodding every now and then, still gazing up at the stars. "That's a sad story." she stated once I'd finished.
"Yes, but it does teach a valuable lesson. Especially for little kids."
"Did you learn it as a kid?"
"Yes, my eomma told me. I remember being afraid for a while to be turned into a star if I didn't work hard." I remarked with a laugh.
She laughed as well, "I can imagine. I'd probably be afraid too." she paused. "It's sad though, the thought of being separated from your soulmate forever, even if it's just a story."
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Grace's pov
He gazed deeply into my eyes, his own piercing my soul, "Do you believe in soulmates?"
Looking up at the starlit sky, I smiled softly, "I like the idea." I paused, searching for the right words. "That someone, somewhere, is made for you, forever."
"I believe I've found my soulmate." my heart stopped at those words.
"Really?" I managed to get out.
"Yes, I thought Jieun was my soulmate. But the truth is, I feel in love with what I'd made her out to be. She was my ideal type. What we had wasn't real. I now know what it means to truly fall in love."
"What is this woman like?" I asked, wondering who it might be.
"She's nothing like any woman I've ever met before. And she's nothing like what I've always thought my soulmate to be. She's fiercely loyal, encouraging, the most beautiful woman in the world to me. She's confident in herself and knows who she is. She loves unconditionally, shows compassion to everyone. She's suffered so much but hasn't allowed her circumstances to change her. She's allowed her experiences to shape who she is now. I could list a thousand reasons of why I love her and it will never be enough." He looked deeply into my eyes as he said this, his own reflecting his words.
Heart breaking, I asked, "Does this woman...feel the same?"
"I hope so." His eyes pierced my soul, and I desperately tried to hide the emotions I was feeling.
Coming to terms with the fact he could never be mine, "You should tell her how you feel, Jungkook. I hope it all works out for you." I looked away, putting some distance between us.
I felt Jungkook's hand curve around my hip, turning me back to him, "You, Grace. You're the woman I'm talking about."
My heart stopped, "What?"
He looked directly in my eyes, "I'm in love with you, Grace."
"Jungkook, I-" he cut me off.
"It's okay if you don't feel the same, but I wanted to tell you before it ate me alive."
Tears filled my eyes, realizing all this time he never noticed my feelings for him, "Jungkook, how could you be so blind?"
His face turned to concern, "What?"
"I've been in love with you for years."
"Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"Because I know we can never work, Jungkook. That's the sad part." I laughed bitterly. "Cliche."
Jungkook cupped my cheek, turning me to him, "But we could work, Grace." In a flash I saw the gun again, smelled the putrid stench of blood and copper. I saw the blood everywhere, on me, on the walls and table. The man on the ground, lying in his own blood. Then it changed to Jungkook, and I saw a bullet hole in his head, his eyes open, vacant and devoid of life.
"Jungkook, we can't. I would put you in danger."
"No you wouldn't." He replied tenderly, his face close to mine. "We both feel the same way for each other, then why can't we work out?"
Looking into his eyes, my own filled with tears, "Jungkook, I was shot by a crazy fan just because I rejected him for who he thought was you. What happens when people find out we're together. They'll hate us even more. Someone might go to the next level and go after you. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you."
"Grace, nothing will ever happen to me."
"You don't know that."
"Maybe I don't, but what I do know is that we'll take it one step at a time. Together."
"Jungkook, we can't. I can't."
His brown eyes couldn't hide the hurt, "Maybe I can change your mind." he leaned down, his eyes on my lips. Just one kiss. Just to remember him by. But I knew if he kissed me once, I'd never say no again. I turned my head away at the last second, but I then felt his lips on my neck. I gasped, warm tendrils flooding my body. His lips trailed upward, kissing the sensitive curve of my neck, his breath fanning my neck. I closed my eyes as his hand cupped my hip, pulling me towards him. Warning bells went off as his lips grew closer to mine, "Jungkook." I whispered breathlessly.
He pulled away, eyes dark. "Yes."
I backed away, trying to calm the thoughts rushing through my mind. "We can't. Please take me home." a flicker of hurt appeared in his eyes before he nodded and gather up the blankets and pillows. The drive was a silent one, but the atmosphere was heavy. When we reached the apartment building, Jungkook helped me out, but didn't let go of me. It was as if he was giving me one last chance.
He leaned down one last time but I turned my head away. He kissed my jawline softly before withdrawing, a sad look in his eyes. His hands fell from my waist and turned away. I grabbed his hand gently, stopping him, "I love you." I whispered softly before letting go and heading inside. I didn't look back for fear of forgetting everything and running to him without a care about the consequences. I walked into my apartment and threw myself on the bed, a warm feeling settling in my stomach, remembering Jungkook's lips on my skin. Sadness overtook me and I pressed my face into a pillow, muffling my sobs. I fell asleep feeling as if I'd lost a loved one and feeling like I'd made the biggest mistake in my life.
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Tysm for reading! Sarangminda! Remember to vote, comment, and give this book a shout out!