clay was crying the whole drive back to his house. there were moments where he genuinely couldn't see because his vision was so blocked by tears, and he considered pulling over so he wouldn't crash his car. he didn't though, he just kept driving and somehow made it home safely.
his mom, who presumably had a long day at work as she had been working a lot recently, was definitely asleep when clay got home. caylee was at a sleepover with her friends, which made clay oddly jealous. his fifteen-year-old little sister had a better social life than him right now. he couldn't be upset, though. he was glad that she was happy.
he nearly dropped his keys as he fumbled with them to open the front door. his hands were shaking, his head was pounding, and he was absolutely terrified.
had he just lost george?
no- he refused to believe that. he didn't even want to think about it right now, but he really couldn't shake the thoughts from his head. did george mean what he said?
everything that george said was undeniable. clay had made mistakes, but george had too. they were both in the wrong here, and deep down clay knew that, but he couldn't help but feel like he had single-handedly ruined everything.
george knew that clay lied about how he found out about jace and locklyn, and clay felt awful. he wanted to tell george the truth without mentioning brodie, but depending on how much george wanted to know he might not end up having a choice. he would rather upset brodie a bit than risk losing george over a lie, and he was sure brodie would understand if clay had to mention him.
once clay was in his bedroom, he took the time to actually think about what had just happened. george had a tendency to lose his temper and say things he didn't mean, but usually he would start profusely apologizing as soon as he realized what he had said. this time, though, he didn't. it seemed like he had meant every word. george forgave clay for everything, and he made that very clear, but tonight it seemed like everything changed. suddenly george didn't understand why clay did the things that he did and how his mind worked.
god, clay didn't even know how his own mind worked.
clay felt awful about the things that he said too, but he didn't know what else to do. he couldn't just stand there and take what george was saying without defending himself. this was a mess, an absolute mess. clay was exhausted.
he struggled with his shoelaces for a few moments before he was able to kick his shoes off. he got to his bed and sat down before taking his sweatshirt off and lying down. he was sweating despite his ceiling fan being on and his windows being cracked open. he just laid there for at least an hour, thinking and thinking and thinking. he was so, so tired, but he just couldn't fall asleep- not after what had just happened.
he had no idea how much time had passed when he heard a car pull into his driveway. maybe it was his sister coming home from her sleepover because something went wrong; some of her friends had their driver's licenses already, which kind of freaked clay out. hopelessly, he kept trying to sleep. he could hear an engine turn off, a car door slam shut, and footsteps in the grass.
then, he heard a small, almost inaudible bang. he couldn't tell what it was or where it was coming from, so he just tried to ignore it. he heard it again, this time a little louder. then, it was noise after noise. it was like a tap on his window.
his window.
clay pulled himself out of bed, walking over towards the window that he was hearing the noises from. to his surprise, george was standing in the grass below with a handful of pebbles.
he opened the window all the way, expressing his confusion, "george? what are you doing here?"
"what do you think i'm doing here?" george questioned in response. he told, "i have a lot to
apologize for."
clay let out a deep breath and admitted, "i do too."
they were both quiet for a few moments. george messed with the small rocks that he was holding. he felt the need to explain himself, "your front door was locked and i didn't want to wake anyone up... also i forgot my phone. i was kind of in a rush."
"so you threw pebbles at my window?" clay giggled. he leaned his hands on the windowsill and continued looking down at his boyfriend. he should've known that this wasn't the end.
george shrugged, asking, "what else was i supposed to do- break in?"
"okay, romeo," clay scoffed. he saw george crack a smile at his joke.
george's nerves were evident in the way he was still fidgeting with the pebbles and rocking back and forth on his feet. he spoke up again, "is this the part where i'm supposed to say something about you being the sun?"
"something like that," clay confirmed fondly. he reassured him, "it's okay, i know we both didn't pay attention in english class."
"yeah, especially you," george blamed. he recalled, "remember when you had a breakdown about having to write a five-hundred word essay?"
"i do," clay remembered. he could never forget that. he added, "that was the first time i went to your house."
george realized, "it was." he was quiet for a second before throwing another rock at clay's window. it bounced right off of the screen and almost hit him.
"karma," clay remarked jokingly.
rolling his eyes, george begged, "are you gonna let me in or do i have to keep standing here like an idiot?"
"i guess i can let you in," clay decided. obviously he was going to let george in- how could he not?
before george could thank him, clay was out of sight. george made his way over to the front door and waited patiently for the door to open. when it did, it took every ounce of self-control for the two to not embrace each other immediately.
clay looked down at george's right hand and then back up to his eyes. "you gonna put those down?" he wondered.
george had completely forgotten about the pebbles in his hands. his eyes trailed down and he felt a sudden rush of embarrassment. "oh- oops," he reacted before dropping the pebbles off of the front porch.
there was a soft smile on clay's face when george looked at him again. it was the type of smile that could just instantly give you the feeling of safety. george was safe with clay, and he hoped clay felt the same way.
as if it was a reflex, george's arms wrapped around clay's torso in a firm, passionate hug. it was as if they could feel their emotions flowing as they touched.
"i'm so sorry," george spoke into the bare skin of clay's chest.
it took a while for clay to register that george was touching him, but not just touching him; george was hugging him. he was hugging him with so much affection. clay felt so loved. "i'm sorry too," he related. they had both messed up, but they couldn't afford to lose each other over some misunderstandings.
george was the first to pull away from the hug, but he barely did. his head and shoulders were no longer pressed against clay's body, but his arms were still holding the boy like he was george's whole world.
george leaned in and kissed him.
he kissed him and he felt so stupid.
it was fast, lasting less than a second. a short peck to the lips followed by a dreadful expression on george's face; his hands immediately retracted from clay as he stammered, "i'm sorry- i shouldn't have done that."
"george."
"i didn't mean to," george continued to let the regret spill from his lips, "that was really dumb, i wasn't thinking."
"george."
"i should go," george tried to turn around before he felt clay's gentle yet strong grip on his arm.
"george."
the way that clay looked at george changed his entire perspective; clay wasn't mad. "look at me, please," clay wanted, feeling his heart break when george couldn't even turn his head back around to face him.
hesitantly, george looked up at clay. he was so scared in that moment, but the second he saw clay's face again he was reminded of how safe he was.
clay's hands landed on either side of george's face and pulled him back in, connecting their lips again and easing all of george's worries. the kiss was longer this time, long enough that they could both properly feel it and enjoy it. one of george's hands was on the back of clay's neck and the other was resting lightly on his waist. he was acting as if clay would shatter if he touched him too roughly.
they separated again, this time feeling much better. they knew it was all going to be okay, but they had a lot to talk about. "do you want to go upstairs?" clay offered. "my mom is asleep and if she realizes that this light is on she's gonna have to come investigate."
"sure," george agreed. he warned, "i really want to talk to you- like, about a lot of things."
"and i'll listen," clay assured, seeing a wide grin form on george's face.
carefully, they went upstairs and to clay's room. george hadn't been in there in what felt like forever, so he needed a moment to just take it all in.
"i know it's a mess," clay pointed out, seeing that george was just staring at his room. "i haven't exactly been in the mood to clean it," he told.
"that's not what i was thinking about. plus, i always cleaned your room for you anyways," george half-joked. he enjoyed doing things for clay.
clay grew curious. he wondered, "what were you thinking about?"
"just..." george trailed off. he finished his sentence when he found the words, "i just missed your room."
clay sat down on the edge of his bed, looking out the window that was still wide open. george soon sat down next to him. george asked quietly, "are you okay?" he almost seemed afraid to know the answer to that.
"i'm okay," clay answered, and for once it was actually kind of true. "i'm happy that you're here," he told, reaching for george's hand which rested on his thigh.
"i'm happy too," george said with a small smile. he was honest, "the truth is, i've wanted to make up for like- forever. i never wanted to avoid you, i was just scared you'd think i was being clingy and annoying because you wanted space and i didn't."
"you're amazing, george," clay squeezed george's hand a little tighter. "i was upset about the whole jace thing, but i shouldn't have let it get to me so much. i also shouldn't have lied to you about how i found out he was locklyn's brother, and i'm really sorry that i did."
george looked up from his lap to look at clay. he asked, "how did you find out?"
"it was an old friend," clay revealed. he requested, "i don't really want to talk about it, though."
"that's okay," george assured him, resting his head on clay's broad shoulder. he didn't know how he went so long without clay's hand in his. "i missed you so much," george confessed with a fond laugh.
clay beamed as he looked at george who laid so peacefully on his shoulder. he pressed a kiss into his brunet hair and let his face rest there for a while. he mumbled into dark curls, "i didn't mean anything i said at your house."
"i didn't either," george promised. "i don't know what was going through my head."
"don't worry about it," clay comforted, keeping a firm hold on george's hand. he whispered, "everything's okay now."
george moved from his comfortable position, letting doubt take over him. "are you sure?" he worried with pure concern in his expression. his eyes were filled with care and his eyebrows were pinched together.
clay brought his other hand up to run his fingers through george's hair, which had become curlier from the summer humidity. "yes, baby. i'm sure," he swore with the pet name that george had grown to love. he planted a kiss on george's cheek and rubbed his thumb over the back of george's hand.
"i believe you," george settled, finally feeling less anxious. against his wishes, he had to excuse himself, "i'd love to stay, but my parents don't know that i left and they're definitely home from dinner by now. they probably think i died or something."
"you also don't have your phone," clay reminded him.
george patted the pockets of his sweatpants with his free hand to confirm, "you're right."
"alright, i'll let you go," clay accepted even though he wanted george to stay more than anything. he dropped his hands back to his sides to free george from his grasp. "text me when you get home," he instructed.
"i will," george promised before standing up. he leaned down and gave clay a short but loving kiss, letting his hand linger on the blond's jaw for a little longer than he meant to.
"george?" clay spoke up.
"hm?" george hummed in response.
"i..." he stopped himself, getting nervous.
george tilted his head. "you what?"
clay replaced what he was going to say with something else. "i'll see you tomorrow?" he asked as in invite.
"of course."
they smiled at each other before george was turning around and leaving, but this time, leaving each other wasn't an awful thing because they knew they could see each other again soon and everything would be perfectly fine. they were okay now.
clay was in pure bliss, not moving from where george left him sitting. it was like he could still feel george's lips on his own. it was only when he heard george's car start that he snapped out of his head.
he couldn't let george leave just yet.
he threw himself off of his bed and rushed downstairs. he saw george's headlights turning on as he swung his front door open and practically sprinted to george's car, nearly tripping multiple times.
george rolled down his passenger's side window so he could see what clay needed. "clay? what's going on?"
clay grabbed the door handle and when he realized it was locked, he looked at george who immediately unlocked it for him. clay got into the car, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.
george laughed at the sight, but expressed concern as he asked, "clay, are you okay?"
"i'm okay," clay told him, finally getting a hold of himself. he was now hyperaware that he was only wearing sweat-shorts with no shirt, no socks, no shoes, nothing. it didn't matter though, he couldn't wait to do what he needed to do.
"then why do you look terrified?" george analyzed.
clay reached for george's hand over the center console, turning his body to face his boyfriend. george gave clay his hand instinctively, but the look on his face showed his pure, utter confusion.
"george," clay started. he swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath.
"clay," george mimicked jokingly.
clay looked george in his eyes. even in the darkness, he was beautiful. clay didn't know how he got so lucky. finally, he spat out the words that had been on the tip of his tongue all night.
"i love you, george."
"i love you too, clay."
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authors note // YAYYYY DNF IS BACK AND THEY SAID THE I LOVE YOU WORD
this is a longgggg chapter bc i wanted to fit everything in so dnf could officially be made up and happy again
guys. should i make the next chapter a smut chapter just for shits and giggles??? i know i have some readers who don't like anything nsfw so i would try to not make the chapter that important so they can just skip most of it but i honestly want to 😭😭 i've never written smut but i think i have the necessary knowledge to do it (pls let me know your opinions but i will probably do it anyways) (you have to promise not to judge me if it sucks but hopefully it wont🤞🤞)
also i had a dream that i had a dick last night so i think that was a sign that it's time for hey it's chanel underscore to write explicit sex
THEIR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE UNDISTURBED FOR THE REMAINDER OF SUMMER SKIN !!!! EVERYTHING IS OKAY WE SURVIVED THE GREAT WAR
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