Lost Star~Ateez OT8

Twinkling Galaxy

Take Me Away

TW – mention of self harm

I opened my eyes and saw sunlight peaking through the curtain, birds chirping outside. I tried to stretch out and felt something. I sat up, seeing them squished together sleeping in my bed. Hongjoong and Yeosang on either side of me. I laid back down and nuzzled myself into Hongjoong. But Yeosangs arm went around my waist and he pulled me back into him, my body pressed against his. I can’t tell if he’s awake or not
*Baby please, I miss you* I froze. I wiggled around to look to see if he was awake but his eyes were still closed, his face into a slight pout. I never would’ve guessed he talked in his sleep. It’s kind of adorable. I pulled myself up a little further to press my forehead against his, falling back asleep

| Nightmares : my feet won’t move fast enough and I turned to look behind me, being chased down the street, he had a knife in his hands, moving in slow motion I rounded the corner of a building and tripped over my feet landing face first into the concrete. My hair being pulled back enough to lift my head, the blade on my throat, I screamed so loud |

I bolted upright, the scream still coming from my mouth, tears pouring down my face as I came back to reality. There they were. Worried and looking at me, overloading me in affection. Hugs and kisses, holding my hand
Hyperventilating, my body violently shaking, tears pouring down my face, sobs coming from my throat. Darkness overtook me

| Nightmares: what more could you possibly do to me, when will this end, standing over my broken body with deep cuts and bruises, I was always just a punching bag to them, please just kill me already, I can’t take it anymore. I surrender |

Seonghwa POV

This is absolutely breaking my heart to pieces. Shes talking in her sleep and very clearly having a nightmare. But I know better then to wake her up, and to let her wake up on her own. But this is tearing me apart. My sweet angel, what is it that you’ve gone through to react this way, for you to say these things in your sleep

Rhea POV

I jolted upright again with a blood curdling scream straight from my lungs, my eyes as wide as they can be, my hands around my throat. Sobs erupting from me yet again and they all just sat with me in silence, the only sound in the room is me crying and I can’t stop. I know they want to ask me what I had nightmares about. But this one was different. This one was me reliving part of my past. A memory I repressed. I’m so scared right now, my body trembling and I feel so cold. Even with them embracing me in their arms and still being able to feel the heat coming from their bodies.

It took me a long time to calm down and I wondered what time it is. I know we have a flight to catch. They stayed with me, holding me still. Gently caressing different parts of my body to help calm me down. My eyes feel puffy from crying and my throat aches, there’s a tightness in my chest.

I pushed my way free of their embrace and walked to the bathroom. I don’t know what’s come over me. But the urge to run away is back again, the urge to reopen old scars. I was digging through my toiletry bag trying to find my razor, taking it in my hand breaking of to pieces so the blades were free. I picked one up in my fingertips, hearing the sound of a couple pairs of footsteps coming towards me. My hand is shaking so bad as I looked down at my body, going back and forth from looking at myself in the mirror and that’s when it hit me. I lifted my shirt up enough to expose the stitches in my body, trembling
San taking the blade from me, taking my hand in his. Jonghos arms around my waist holding me close. My body still trembling, I’ve cried so much already that nothing is coming out. And there’s an aching pain in my lungs
I turned myself around and let him hug me, resting his head on mine and putting my arms around him. His embrace so comforting, he stood there holding me until my body stopped shaking. Lifting me up by my thighs he walked us down the hall into his room setting me down gently on the bed, sitting next to me with his arm around me gently rubbing my back.
I can tell he wants to ask me about what happened. I know they all have questions. Wondering why I have panic attacks the way I do, the nightmares I just had. And now some have seen some of my old scars I’ve always desperately tried to hide.

I looked at him, his eyes and face so concerned and sad. Still rubbing my back and holding me close to him
*Jongho. I was abused growing up. And when I turned eighteen I moved out with Callie and never looked back to the people who did it to me. Physically, mentally and verbally abused for eighteen years. Ive had two other relationships before and they both were physically and mentally abusive to me. And one of the nightmares I had was reliving an old memory I’ve tried so hard to repress. I know I’ve been moody with you guys, and I’m still hurting from before. It’s going to take me some time, but you’ve all told me that you would earn back my trust and forgiveness. And right now I just want to feel your arms around me, keep me safe. Jongho. No one else knows about what I’ve been through besides Callie. And I don’t have the strength in me to tell the rest of them. Can you please do it for me?*
Black Out

Jonghos POV
I tucked her into my bed and making sure she was cozy under the blankets, turning off the light and going to find the rest of the guys. Asking them to please join me in the living room
*Where is she?* - Seonghwa
*She passed out again, I tucked her into my bed. And there’s something that I need to tell you all, she asked me to tell you… you might want to brace yourselves*
Concerning and scared faces. I slowly told them everything she said to me. Yeosang and San look like they’re trying not to cry. Hongjoong and Wooyoung have their heads in their hands. Mingi and Yunho silently letting tears run down their faces. But it was Seonghwa who spoke first
*Poor sweet angel. The panic attacks and the nightmares finally make sense now … I can see why she was so hesitant to give us another chance … we better not fuck it up this time. We have a lot of work to do, to get her to trust us and be comfortable again. Work on earning her forgiveness, keep her safe* - Seonghwa
Head nods in agreement. Silent chatter about what we can do to start fixing what we fucked up, mixed in with the disbelief of what I told them about her
Yunho got up and left the room

Yunhos POV
My heart aches after hearing that. I want to protect her always and make sure nothing bad ever happens to her again. I made my way to Jonghos room to go see her.
She looks so cute, she’s so small. I lifted the blanket and crawled in next to her gently stroking her hair when she rolled over throwing her arm over my body. I pulled her closer into me giving her a kiss on her forehead.
*My poor sweet princess, I’ll do anything I can to protect you. I promise, I’ll be here for you always, I’m not going to leave you unless you tell me to. Unless you don’t want me anymore* I whispered to her

Please stay with me always, Rhea you have my heart and i am entirely yours