VANESSA
"I don't know how he found out. I didn't even think to ask because I was too distracted with all his questions."I exhaled a breath."I don't know what to do, Jeremy."
"Come home."He replied.
"I knew you would say that. I'm guessing you're not advising me that I should come home, but telling me because you miss me and you can't stand another night without me."I smiled."Am I right?"
Jeremy chuckled."You are right, I can't stand another night without you, Gorgeous. But the choice is yours. I won't complain, just do what you have to do."
"Hmm, You'll probably regret that later when you're lonely."I stopped outside the coffee shop so I could finish our conversation before going inside."I don't know, I want to talk to him but I don't know how that will go. He's going to be so angry."
"The truth is a good place to start. Right now he only knows bits and pieces, maybe you should fill in the rest."Jeremy sighed."You know I don't care much for the way your brother has been treating you lately... but I think it would be wise to set the record straight about us."
Jeremy doesn't care much for my brother, period.
"Maybe you're right."I turned my head as some people walked into the coffee shop. I looked through the window and saw a familiar face. Finley's neighbour."I should get going, I want to grab breakfast for Finley before he wakes up."
"Call me later, okay? I don't want to go the entire day without hearing from you."
My lips curved into a smile. He's protective and perhaps a tad possessive at times, but I know it's because he loves me."Sure. Love you."
"Love you too."He replied before hanging up.
I walked into the coffee shop and the little bell rang over the door to signal another customer. Customers waiting looked in my direction. I wondered if it was something that annoyed the people working here. Having the bell ring every time someone walks in and out would get on my nerves.
I waited in line until it was my turn to order. Knowing how much of a big eater my brother is, I ordered him triple meat breakfast bagel and a muffin to go with his coffee. If he eats before we have our talk he might not be as grumpy.
As I stood waiting for my order I noticed Finley's neighbour look in my direction. She smiled and gave a little wave and I did too.
"Vanessa."The woman behind the counter called with my order ready in hand. When I was done grabbing my order I noticed Finley's neighbour had already left.
I was hoping that I would get a chance to talk with her. I'm eager to know how my brother has been lately without actually having to ask the man himself. I walked out of the coffee shop sipping from my to go cup.
"Vanessa..."I heard my name being called as I walked away from the coffee shop. I turned around to see that Finley's neighbour had been waiting."I figured we're going to the same place so why not walk back together."
"Sure."I smiled and we started our walk back to the apartment.
"I'm Alicia by the way. I think I forgot to tell you my name yesterday when we met."She smiled."So are you staying with Finley for a while?"
"Just last night. It wasn't planned so that explains why I'm wearing yesterday's clothes."I chuckled and Alicia did too."I'm not exactly in Finley's good books at the moment so I think he'll be glad when I'm gone back to San Francisco."
"Oh, Did you have a falling out?"
"Um... something like that."I sipped from my take-out coffee cup."I haven't been around much in the past year or so. My husband and I moved to New York, we got married and tried to start over."
"Because of our ex... Finley told me what happened. I'm sorry, he probably shouldn't have. It must've been hard for you going through all of that. It's so hard to trust people nowadays."
"I'm tougher than I look."We crossed the road towards the apartment building."So how is my brother doing? I would ask him but I don't think he'll tell me the truth."
"He's good, from what I can tell. I don't get to see him much, with working two jobs and other things that he has going on in his life. But I really like him, he's a good guy."
Two jobs... I didn't know about that. I wonder if he's having financial issues. He wouldn't be working two jobs unless he needed the money.
"Finley never mentioned that he was working two jobs."
"Well the bar wasn't paying him enough and he wasn't getting the hours to cover his rent, so he got a job working at the casino. It's late hours but he doesn't seem to mind. He likes to be busy."
Casino. I guess that explains why he didn't tell me.
I closed the door to Finley's apartment and walked the hallway towards the kitchen/ living area. Finley was sitting on the couch. It's time to put a smile on his face... or at least try.
"Hi! I got you some breakfast and a coffee from that place beside the bar."I placed his down on the coffee table in front of him."Drink it while it's hot."
"Are you trying to butter me up?"My brother asked."Because you know a sandwich and a coffee won't fix this. Only the truth can do that."
Straight to the point.
"I'm trying to be nice. Anyway, there's nothing in your fridge besides some green cheese."I smirked before taking a seat on the brown leather armchair."Thank you for letting me spend the night."
"Well, I didn't have a choice."He looked across at me."You might be a liar, but you're still family."
I deserve that.
"I didn't mean to lie to you."I exhaled a breath and placed my coffee cup on the table."Finley, I was just trying to look out for you. Losing Mom and Dad left us with nothing and it was my job to take care of you. I wanted to protect you."
"Protect me."He scoffed."I wasn't some kid, Vanessa. I was old enough to make those decisions too. So is that why you married him, so you would have enough money to support us?"
I nodded in reply."Dad was in a coma and the hospital bills were endless. We didn't have insurance. You had big plans to go to college and I didn't want to take away your dreams. I wanted you to be happy after everything we went through."
"So you lied to protect me. The truth finally." Finley sat back on the couch and rubbed his head in stress."How did this happen — I mean did the Austin's come to you? What did Jeremy get out of this?"
"Jeremy wasn't happy about the Arrangement either. He didn't have a good reputation and sleeping around was basically what he lived for. His father thought a fake marriage would do him good and make him look trustworthy when it came to business. He was right."
"You's played the part."Finley shook his head. "They should give you an award for your acting skills."
"It wasn't easy. Jeremy didn't make it easy... he hated me at first. It was supposed to be a year of marriage and Tom took care of everything. The hospital bills... Your college tuition. I know it sounds bad, but I didn't have a choice. I did what I had to do."
"No! You didn't have to do what you did. You sold yourself for money, Vanessa. Aren't you even a little bit ashamed of what you've done? Because I know Mom and Dad would be."
He's not wrong about that. I guess I've made a lot of mistakes to be ashamed of.
"It's not like that. I wasn't sleeping with Jeremy for money, it was just an act to better both of our lives."I stood from my chair and walked towards the window. It was raining now... Heavy."When things changed between Jeremy and me, I stopped everything. I stopped taking money from Tom."
"But you still ended the relationship after a year anyway. Why?"Finley asked.
I released a sigh, knowing that we were getting too deep. This is where I want the conversation to end."It's complicated."
"Complicated."Finley shook his head again in annoyance."Don't give me that crap, Vanessa. I know that's not all there is to know. What about the accident... I know Jeremy was involved?"
The accident... He mentioned it yesterday too. Finley knows that Jeremy was involved in some way, but how? Who would've told him?
I need to lie.
He can't know the truth. This is something that he won't understand, he doesn't know Jeremy like I do. He doesn't know Ollie. Finley will be overwhelmed with emotion and he'll act on it. It won't be just Ollie that will go down for it, Jeremy will too.
I have to lie... I have no choice.
"Who told you this?"I turned from the window and asked."It's a lie. Jeremy had nothing to do with the accident."
"Why should I believe that?"
I walked towards the couch and sat down again. "Come on, think about it. The man I married turned out to be the man that was involved in the death of my parents. What are the consequences?
It's like something out of a soppy romance book."
"You're hiding something. It feels like there's a lot that I don't know."He stood up and picked up his take-out coffee and lunch that was in a brown take-out bag.
"Where are you going?"I asked.
"I have things to do today. You'll be okay letting yourself out, right?"The expression on his face showed little care about me. He was walking away with no second thoughts.
"I thought we could talk more before I leave. I came all this way..."
"You came all this way and told me the partial truth."He interrupted."I can't stand here and listen to any more of this. I have to get to work."He turned around and walked down the hallway."I'll see you in a year or so."The door slammed behind him.
That went just about as awful as I thought. He doesn't want to talk to me. I've never known my brother to be so mean. This is not like him.
I guess it's time to go home.
I thought to clear up Finley's apartment before I leave since he let me stay the night. I washed dirty dishes and tidied around his living area. I gathered up some books and papers, some bills that were opened and left to the side. One, in particular, caught my eye.
The envelope wasn't just a plain white envelope, it was different. It had a blue edging around it that looked familiar to me. The writing on the front was in bold black ink. Of course inside there was nothing.
Where have I seen this before?
I slipped it into my bag and grabbed the rest of my things to leave. Coming here didn't work out like I thought it would. If anything it's made things worse between us.
It was late when I arrived home. I walked the hallway towards the kitchen, dying of thirst after driving for hours. I didn't want to stop much on the way, especially after it got dark.
I filled up my water glass at the sink. While I did I could hear Jeremy's footsteps down the hallway. I haven't spoken to him since this morning, apart from a quick text to let him know I was coming home.
He walked into the kitchen, his hands tucked into the pockets of his grey suit trousers. His navy shirt was unbuttoned halfway, giving me a view of his chest."You're home."
"Finally. The drive back was tiring. I thought you were working late?"
"I skipped the dinner meeting. I wanted to be here when you got home."He walked towards me and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips."I missed you."
"You too."I replied and smiled at him. It felt good to be home, especially to be around someone who didn't hate my company.
"So how did it go with Finley?"He asked, eager to hear how my conversation went with my brother after I got off the phone with him.
"It went okay."I walked around the island and took a seat on a stool."I told him about the arrangement. Obviously, he's not happy that I was lying to him for so long but eventually he'll get over it... I hope."
Jeremy sighed."I didn't think he would be happy about that."
"He told me that my parents would be ashamed of me. I guess he's right, the choices I've made wouldn't exactly put a smile on their faces if they were alive. They would be ashamed, just like Finley was."
Just like I am.
Jeremy shook his head."You have nothing to be ashamed of. You did what you did for your brother, so he didn't have to struggle. You put his needs before your own. That alone tells you everything about the kind of person you are."
I mustered a smile. He makes me feel good about the choices I've made, but would he feel differently if he knew about the baby? Of course he would. He would hate me, which is why I'm so afraid to tell him. He might leave me and I don't want to be without him.
"Did you mention the accident?"Jeremy asked.
"No, I didn't tell him anything. But I don't think Finley would even believe the truth if I told him. He would probably think that I'm just covering for you."
"I don't care what your brother thinks of me. He's not important."
Typical of my husband to give me a reply like that. He doesn't like my brother, I get it. But he should try to get along with him for my sake.
"But he's important to me, It's important to me what he thinks of you. You're my husband and he's my brother, neither of you are going anywhere."I replied and he exhaled through his nose in frustration."It's my parents. If Finley found out the truth he wouldn't think twice about reporting that."
"It's your choice."Jeremy walked towards the cupboard and pulled out two wine glasses before going to the wine rack and grabbing a bottle of red."So how was Finley... is he financially stable?"
Hmm... what a question!
"He's working two jobs so it looks like it. He's seeing a girl that lives across the hall from him. Her name is Alicia."I smiled."He didn't introduce me to her, we bumped into each other and got talking. She told me he has a job at a casino."
He shot me a look as he poured wine into his glass."A casino. I take it she doesn't know about his past. He has a problem, Vanessa. It's a disaster waiting to happen."
"I know it is, I feel the same way. But there's nothing I can do about that. He won't even talk to me and if I try it'll only make things worse between us."
"Sometimes family are more trouble than they're worth."He replied.
Says the man who still has parents, I thought but decided not to say. I would give anything to have my parents back.
"I wonder how he found out about all this. Someone we know must've told him, it's the only explanation."He said and I shrugged slightly."You must be tired. I'll run you a hot bath."
My lips curved into a smile. It felt good to be home again. One night I was gone, but I still missed being here with him."A bath sounds good. I'll follow you in a minute, I just want to send Finley a message."
"Don't take too long."Jeremy picked up his wine glass and the bottle before walking out of the kitchen area.
Once he was out of sight I opened my purse and removed the envelope from my bag. The envelope with the blue trim that I took from Finley's apartment. The envelope that gave me a weird feeling in my stomach.
I walked into the living area towards the painting of the doll with the crazy eyes. I looked towards the hallway to make sure Jeremy wasn't in sight. I could hear the sound of the bath running.
I unhooked the painting from the wall and placed it on the coffee table face down. On the back of the painting Is where I hid my diary, it was taped where no one could find it.
"You coming?"I heard Jeremy shout from the bedroom.
Crap!!
"I'll be right there."I shouted back.
I quickly opened up my diary and took out the envelope that was tucked between the pages. I held the envelope in my hand and looked at it, the blue trim and my name written in black ink. I held Finley's envelope in my other hand. It was the same.
The same blue trim and the same writing.
Now I know.
Whoever it was that sent me that letter months ago, is the same person that sent my brother his letter. Someone is making sure my secrets doesn't stay hidden.